Twirlygigs and Gizzards: The Unlikely Continuation of an Unlikely Romance

Chapter 4: A Bug Master in King Sasuke's Court

Sorry about the sporadic updates. (I know I complain all the time, but I seriously have been busy.) Also, a few people thought this was over after the third chapter, so to clarify: The end of this story is a long way off. I will announce it with a nice long credits list and all. You WILL know when the end comes. Chou —Kallie S

Shikamaru had been very accurate in his description of The Tango Moca as a vaguely-Bohemian café. It served vaguely-artisan sandwiches, played vaguely-beatnik jazz, and brewed vaguely-urbane beverages. Squishy armchairs and couches dotted the dinning area just as vaguely-modern art dotted the walls.

The dampened Shikamaru, Sasuke, Rock Lee, Naruto, and Hinata ran in just as the storm started getting heavy, and sunk into the aforementioned seats around a large coffee table. After ordering the least-progressive-looking items on the menu, they lapsed into silence, watching the water cascading down outside the window.

"They should have gotten here by now," Lee said dubiously after their orders had arrived. "Do you think she's ok?"

Sasuke, seated at the head of the table in an armchair so large he was almost lost in it, bit his lip and watched a cat float through the flooded street. "I don't know. Shikamaru, are you sure she'll come back here?"

"Given that this is the closest shelter, yes," Shikamaru nodded, seated on a couch between Sasuke and Naruto and Hinata. "She was headed even farther away from civilization that we were, and I'd imagine that they want out of the rain as soon as possible, since her date is from the desert."

Sasuke, Naruto, and even Hinata winced, and Lee turned six different shades of green. Seeing this reaction, since Lee was across the coffee table from him and Hinata, Naruto turned to Shikamaru. "Could you use another word? One that makes a bit more sense?"

Now, Shikamaru knew what he meant, but just to be difficult, he said, "Since her date is from a large sandy place with very little annual rainfall, and he's probably not used to,"

Sasuke assumed the role of leader naturally due to his position at The Great Coffee Table. "I don't think we should use da- da- the "D" word just now. After all, this is Gaara we're talking about. The vocabulary choice seems a bit inappropriate."

"It just doesn't fit," Naruto said, mostly for the benefit of Rock Lee, who had forgotten his worry over Sakura out in the rain for his worry over why she was out in the rain to begin with. "I know Sakura, and Gaara's not her type."

"Yeah," Shikamaru said, setting down his chai to enumerate Gaara's Un-Sakura qualities. "Brooding, angsty, no social skills, cool and collected, mysterious, possible tragic past, not the kind of guy she's attracted to at all."

Hinata caught his eye and giggled, looking over at Sasuke, but nobody else noticed the sarcasm.

"How's your sandwich?" Naruto asked Lee to change the subject, and because the blond had been eyeing his own sandwich suspiciously and wanted a second opinion before digging in.

"Everything tastes like ashes without her," Lee sighed, setting his food back down practically untouched.

"Mine's pretty good, actually," Sasuke said, taking a bite of a concoction the café had dubbed "Attack of the Killer Tomato Sandwich".

This gave the remaining diners courage, and they started to sample their own food.

"Come on, Lee-kun, at least try it," Hinata said gently, pushing his plate towards him.

"I can't." Lee sighed. "I'm too worried about her. Out in the rain with that... that... I should be protecting her! How can I live with myself, sitting nice and dry in a café, drinking cappuccino and eating Vegetarian Konohamburgers while the love of my life is trapped in a tempest, miles from shelter with a potentially dangerous enemy?"

"They didn't seem much like enemies to me," Shikamaru muttered very very quietly into his salad. If any of the people around heard him, he wasn't sure he would make it out of The Tango Moca alive. They would figure it out on their own. Eventually.

"Well, if you're not going to eat that," Naruto asked hopefully through a mouthful of bread, making a grab for Lee's plate.

"Naruto!" Hinata laughed, pushing the plate back. "You're going to make yourself sick."

Naruto swallowed before answering, a gesture of politeness unheard of with anyone else he ever talked to. "But if I was sick you'd take care of me, right, Hinata?" he asked, leaning his head on her shoulder. "Stop by my house and nurse me back to health and all, wouldn't you?"

Hinata blushed. "Naruto-kun,"

"Gag," muttered Sasuke, sticking a finger down his mouth. "Naruto, I'm trying to eat here."

"Leave them alone, Sasuke," Lee scolded. "They're young and in love, and," Tears streamed down his face. "WHY CAN'T IT BE ME? Oh, Sakura! Why do you do this to me? When will you realize that we were meant to be? I can't stand this anymore!" he exclaimed, standing up. "I'm going out there to find her and escort her to safety!"

"Lee! No!" yelled the group, with Sasuke standing up and wrestling him back down.

"Try your sandwich!" Naruto urged. "They're good!"

"Why, thank you," said a young man behind the counter who was just taking off his apron.

"Shino-kun!" Hinata beamed. "What are you doing here?"

"My aunt and uncle own this place," he explained, leaning against the back of the chair opposite Sasuke. "I help out with the cooking once in a while." A bug scuttled across his cheek and into his hairline.

Sasuke slowly lowered his tomato sandwich. Shikamaru nonchalantly pushed his salad away, and Naruto returned the half of Lee's tofu burger that he had begun to munch on. Only Hinata was unaffected, taking bites of her gyro as she motioned for her teammate to join them.

"Is it someone's birthday today?" he asked, then looked more closely at the expressions on the faces around him. "My bad, did someone die?"

Without asking, he swiped Lee's Café Americana and took a sip.

"Sakura's out in the rain with Gaara," Sasuke explained glumly.

Shino spewed some coffee over the table. "I'm sorry, for a second there I thought you said Sakura... your teammate, was out in the rain with that creepy desert kid."

Naruto nodded. "That's the basics."

"Look, I've had a long shift, no jokes right now."

"Sasuke and Naruto-kun aren't joking, Shino," Hinata whispered.

"Hinata-chan, you're a sweet girl, but you're awfully gullible."

Shikamaru, Sasuke, Naruto and Hinata shook their heads. Lee just moaned a little and poked his gnawed sandwich, as if hoping it would come to life and explain why this was happening to him.

Through Shino's shades his eyes were invisible, but they did blink repeatedly in surprise. "So, how did we find out that Sakura is actually getting that well-groomed hair of hers soaked in the company of... wait, when you say Gaara, are you talking about Gaara-Gaara, or Other-Previously-Unknown-To-Me-Gaara?"

"Because Gaara's such a common name," Shikamaru snorted.

"Maybe you'd better explain," Shino sighed. "Although, I'm not sure I want to know."

Shikamaru scooted forward, not sure if he was curious or not. Naruto and Sasuke shrugged at each other, and began their tale of The Multiple Times They Caught Sakura and Gaara Hanging Out.

"Well, Chouji, that was a bust," Ino sighed, wringing out her hair before entering Team Asuma's collective household.

"She can't hide forever," Chouji assured her. "Hey, where's Shikamaru?"

"Eh. With him, who knows? Hey, you want to play a round of War?"

"Yeah, Ok."

"Strange, indeed," Shino murmured, taking yet another sip of Lee's beverage. The drink had been cold for quite some time, but Shino was weird about things like that and didn't seem to mind.

"So, will you join us in our quest for the truth?" Sasuke asked, not realizing how formal he was being.

"It would be an honor. I, too, am curious," Shino replied in the same overly-formal tone.

"Very well. Meeting adjourned."

"What about Sakura-chan?" Lee asked.

"Lee," Naruto clapped him on the shoulder in a fortifying way. "Sakura is an excellent ninja, quite capable of taking care of herself. She's probably been out of the rain for hours. There's bound to be some shelter Shikamaru doesn't know about."

Naruto thought he was lying through his teeth to Lee, but Sakura really had been out of the rain for several hours. In fact, she had been out of the rain longer than Lee and company had been.

"Is it still raining?" Temari asked anxiously as Kankuro checked the hotel window.

"Yeah. It's getting pretty bad."

"I'm worried... it's getting late, and he's never been out in a real storm like this before..."

"He knows what rain is, we aren't that sheltered... You're overreacting. He's always late, sis."

Temari grinned. "You're worried, too, Kan-kun."

"Yeah, duh. It is flooding out there... and he's such a little bugger."

"I'm not that little, Kankuro. It's not my fault you're freakishly tall."

Being in a better mood than his normal one, Gaara was noticing things that usually escaped him. Like how happy his siblings looked to see him back safe and only slightly moist. Or how Temari's gut reaction was to smother him in a cheap hotel bedspread while threatening him with pneumonia, which apparently is a condition caused by being slightly moist.

She was just plunking him onto the de-sheeted bed to better fuss over him in one of those fits of maternal instinct that Temari was sometimes prone to when she stopped, the oddest expression on her face.

"What?" Gaara asked as his sister's face turned red from suppressed laughter. All she could manage to do was shake her head wordlessly, so he turned to his brother for clarification. Kankuro motioned that there was something on the side of his mouth, so Gaara stood up, taking the bedspread with him like a cloak, to check the mirror.

"Oh..." Gaara muttered, wiping the lipstick off his mouth with the back of his hand and proceeding to turn red. He hid this sign of embarrassment by pulling the bedspread up like a hood, covering his face.

Temari recognized this as a signal that it would be a good idea to change the subject. "The realtor called while you were..." she bit down on her lip with a grin. "While you were out. We're buying the house in two days."

Gaara poked his head out from under his blanket. "Do I have to be there?"

"Nah, it's just a bunch of paperwork and lawyers." Temari grinned slyly. "Do you have another date?"

Gaara disappeared under the blanket in response.

"Please tell me you've graduated to calling them dates by now," Kankuro added. The blanket nodded.

"Well, no staying out too late," Temari said. "We're leaving for Suna the morning after."

"What about the house?"

"It's a summer home, not a permanent residence, and it's only mid-spring. We'll come back in a month or so."

The Gaara-blanket sneezed.

"Gaara's sick." Kankuro announced. "We shouldn't be moving him."

Temari snapped her fingers ironically. "What a shame. We'll just have to stay here all summer. Better safe than sorry!"