"I can't take any more of this!"
Multiples deep sighs and nods agreed to the exasperated statement of Sasha Braus. Each soldier lay exhausted on the hot grass as the sunset signaled the end of the afternoon drills. It's been a week since Lance Corporal Levi walked in on them debating about his alleged sexual orientation.
"It's been nothing but a week of pain and suffering…" Connie whispered, his tone drained and defeated, as he lay completely immobile on the ground with his arms and legs spread out to his sides.
"This is too much, even for the corporal." Jean added as he lay flat on his back, slapping a wet cloth carelessly over his face, hoping to rid himself of the heat.
"If only Mikasa hadn't said that stupid thing about the corporal being gay, we wouldn't be here." Sasha stated groggily but her tone was heavy with accusation.
Jean snorted in defense. "She didn't know the corporal was right on the other side of the room."
Sasha imitated the snort in reply. "It's still her fault we're all dying of exhaustion."
Mikasa remained silent, wiping the steady trail of sweat off her forehead.
Jean clicked his tongue in annoyance. He didn't understand why Mikasa remained silent despite Sasha's aggressive accusation. "Well, if anyone's to blame, then Armin is equally guilty as well!"
Armin sat up in surprise. "Hey!"
"You started the whole talk about the corporal!" Jean argued.
Armin folded his arms on his chest in defense. "Like I would have known the conversation would steer towards that direction!"
"Guys, guys…" Eren interjected half-heartedly. He was lying on his stomach with one side of his face on the ground, too tired to care if an insect would crawl into one of his ears. "Blaming each other only makes things worse. All right? We're all guilty. We all talked about the corporal. We're all being punished for it. End of story."
Historia nodded as she leaned further onto the thick tree bark supporting her back. "Eren is right. I guess we're all equally guilty since we all participated in that conversation."
"Why are we being punished?"
All eyes turned towards Mikasa's now upright form, staring defiantly towards what remained of the sun's parting rays.
"What do you mean why are we being punished?" Connie sat up slowly, his body still clearly drained from the drills imposed by the lance corporal. "The captain clearly heard you call him gay. I'm surprised we're still alive this very moment!"
Mikasa raised an eyebrow. "What wrong with being gay?"
Eren sighed. Mikasa was missing the point yet again. "It's not that there's something wrong with it Mikasa. It's just that talking about a person's sexual orientation is simply unethical. What we were doing that night simply equated to gossiping cadets who had nothing better to do with their time. That's why Captain Levi assigned us all these drills and tasks to remind us that every minute counts. If we have time to gossip, then we sure as hell should have time to train more."
Jean began to chuckle softly at Eren's words.
Despite his exhausted form, Eren was able to turn his head towards Jean's direction to offer him a glare. "What the hell are you laughing at horse face?"
"Since when did you get so attached to the corporal?" Jean was sitting up now, his tone teasing, his gaze challenging. "You've done nothing but defend him."
Eren pushed himself up on his elbows, his glare never leaving Jean. "The man saved my life. His methods maybe unorthodox but he's killed more titans than all of us combined. I have more respect for him than any other person I know."
An uncomfortable silence followed afterwards. Jean and Eren continued to stare each other down.
"Stop it guys." Historia sighed. Sometimes boys could be so childish. "We all know why the corporal is doing this. We did gossip. We did laze around during our free time. We did get too complacent." She paused to give each of them a meaningful glance. "So let's not wring each other's necks. We're all tired and we're all looking for someone to blame. But the sooner we accept that we were all at fault and that this is not a punishment, but rather, a wake-up call; then, the sooner we'll be able to accept that this is for our own personal improvement, and not the corporal's way of making us pay."
The uncomfortable silence slowly melted into resignation and approval.
"Historia's right." Armin whispered. "We're thinking about this as a punishment when we should be seeing this as a reminder. We could die any day." He paused, the truth of the statement weighed on his chest. "It could be the next minute from now. Or an hour, a day, a week. Who knows? The only way we can prolong that from happening is through training for hours on end."
Bending her knees up in the air, Sasha propelled herself up into a standing position. "Fine, fine. I get it. We're all in this together." Scratching her head Sasha offered Mikasa an apology.
Mikasa simply nodded her head in acceptance.
Slowly, one by one, the cadets began to gather up their things and head back to the safe house.
"Damn. Now it's got me thinking."
Everyone paused to give Sasha a look.
"What now?" Jean asked, an obvious irritation in his tone.
"If the corporal did this to punish us for wasting time gossiping, and not just simply because of what Mikasa said, then…" Sasha trailed on, deep in thought.
"Then what?" Connie asked almost exasperated.
"Then what is the corporal's sexual orientation?"
Sasha could only stare in amazement as every single one of them sprinted back as quickly as they could into the safe house.
"I don't want to be a part of this conversation!" Eren screamed frantically as he covered his ears.
"Idiot have you not learned anything!" Jean and Connie screamed simultaneously.
Armin and Historia couldn't hold back their laughter as their initial panic turned into amusement at the hysterical backs of Eren, Connie and Jean, who seemed to have made it a race.
"Hey! Why are you all running!? Did I say something wrong?!" Sasha screamed in confusion as she ran towards them. "Hey! What did I say?!"
Mikasa couldn't help but smile as she began to walk leisurely towards the safe house, amused by the frantic antics of her friends. Perhaps the lance corporal's sexual orientation would continue to remain a mystery just as the origin of the titans has.
"Oh come on!"
Levi glared at Hanji's exasperated face. It was almost midnight and Hanji wouldn't stop pestering him for his approval.
"It's been a week now! Can't we continue the experiment?"
Levi moved to shut the door much to his dismay. Hanji quickly scooted through the narrow opening, settling herself on the edge of his bed defiantly. Levi felt his eye twitch. One, Hanji dared to enter his room while still wearing her filthy uniform. Two, she was sitting on his pristine white sheets which took him at least an hour to wash into perfection.
"Out." Came his threatening tone, his demeanor darker and malicious.
Hanji flinched slightly at his murderous tone but simply stood up from his bed, still refusing to leave his room. "Come on Levi! It's been a week since the last experiment. They've learned their lesson! Just give me permission to continue!"
"You think I'm delaying your experiment just to punish those lazy brats?" Levi asked incredulously with a perfectly arched eye brow.
"No." Hanji shook her head as she raised her index finger to emphasize her point. "You're doing it not just to punish them, but also to punish me for laughing at your expense!"
Levi simply blinked indifferently in reply.
"Oh come on Levi! How could I not laugh hysterically after hearing that the object of their discussion was your degree of manliness!" Hanji was trying hard not to laugh out loud. Her words came out in between chokes.
"Say that statement again and I'll knock you unconscious." Levi stated almost disinterestedly, except for the dangerous way his eyes narrowed.
Hanji raised her hands up in mock surrender.
Grabbing her collar roughly, Levi hoisted Hanji all the way to the door, dropping her unceremoniously to the floor. Hanji could only blink at the sudden displacement. She could never in her life fathom how someone that tiny could have that much strength.
"Now get out of my room."
Hanji could only open her mouth in protest before the door slammed on her face. She huffed in annoyance before stomping her way back to her room.
Folding her arms on her chest, Hanji began to wonder about Levi's peculiar mood shifts for the past week ever since they both walked in on that rather awkward but hilarious scene. She chuckled to herself. Never in her life would she expect those kids to talk about Levi's orientation so offhandedly. She, of course, already knew the answer to that question. But it was still amusing how much it bothered Levi that other people actually considered to discuss him in matters that did not concern the military. She chuckled to herself again. Just exactly how clueless was Levi of the growing fan base attached to his name?
Levi couldn't help but pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance as he listened to Hanji's heavy stomps moving away from his room. She hasn't stopped pestering him for the entire week now and he could only have so much self-control. Sooner or later he wouldn't be able to stop himself from snapping her neck. She knew the real reason why the experiment was delayed. She knew the smoke from Eren's transformation served as a free invitation for ambush. So why the hell does she keep asking him for permission?
Levi clicked his tongue. He knew why. She just wanted to rub it in his face.
"Those stupid brats."
He couldn't fathom what went on in the brains of those idiotic teenagers to actually discuss matters of his life that did not concern them at all. If they weren't on a mission, he would have personally sought each of them for a private beating session. He'd make sure they'd never even want to hear his name ever again. He sighed in annoyance. Just exactly what did he have to do to earn some respect around here?
"I'm not trying to prove anything Eren. I'm simply saying that maybe there's a possibility that Lance Corporal Levi is gay."
Levi narrowed his eyes as the image of Mikasa Ackerman's seemingly knowing demeanor flashed through his memory. He scoffed. What the hell did a brat like her know anyway? And why the hell was she concerning herself with his personal life?
Walking towards his bedside table, Levi took out a few cleaning articles to disinfect the area Hanji daringly contaminated. Did she not know just how hard it was to get white cloth to a level of cleanliness that was acceptable in his standards? He would have to make Hanji pay for this and her sick amusement to tease him about Ackerman's allegation.
Levi's eyes narrowed yet again as his thoughts drifted to the 104th squad's prodigy.
He knew she hated him ever since that day at the court room. He could feel it in her gaze, the way her eyes would follow him with contempt whenever he was within sight. The way she would always stare him down defiantly, waiting patiently for a moment to point out any flaw. The way she would always do more than what he asked, as if saying she could do that and more. The way she would refer to him as her superior, but would always surreptitiously lace her greeting with sarcasm.
Levi sighed as he returned the cleaning materials back in perfect order. He was capable of ignoring most of Mikasa's childish passive aggressive approach. But last week she really overplayed her cards. Now what? She was planning on spreading rumors about his sexual orientation? Levi snorted. Like anyone would care about trivial things like that.
Lying on his bed, Levi couldn't help but wonder why people loved to gossip, especially if he was the topic of the discussion. What was so interesting about other people's lives? What was so interesting about his? What made him any different from any other solder in the corps? He was also just human. He could die at any time, any day. He could fall just as easily as others have.
Lying on his side, Levi closed his eyes in an attempt to sleep, only to be filled with thoughts of how other people would refer to him in reverence. How people consider him the closest thing to a god. How he would probably go on to outlive every single soldier in the brigade. The memory of his fallen comrades flashed through his mind. Levi gritted his teeth and cursed. He was awake now. It seemed sleep would elude him once again tonight.
Thank you for reading! Please leave a review!
Next chapter will most likely be the last since I really don't want to make this too long. I already have too many stories to continue. Anyway, sorry it took so long fo rme to update. I wrote this chapter a while back but didn't update it since I didn't think it was any good. But now that I reread it and edited it I think it's decent enough.
P.S. In all honesty, I find writing humor for Shingeki no Kyojin a real challenge. If this is the first story of mine you have read, then let me tell you I'm the type of author who prefers to write stories that could actually be included in the canon series. I'm not a big fan of alternate universe stories. So writing a HUMOR centric fic about Shingeki no kyojin (heavy/dark themed canon) is a real challenge for me! :)