I really liked writing this chapter...I'm not exactly sure why...but I did. Hope you guys like it too!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Ace Attorney series characters!

Chapter 4 - Turnabout Dating Disaster

It's been one week since the girls got the results from Edgeworth's personality test.

"Wright. Are you sure you want me to come along with you? I…" Edgeworth was actually out on a Saturday night, a rare occurrence for the Chief Prosecutor who spent a majority of his time either in his office or at his home.

"Come on Edgeworth! You need to get out more! Plus, it's been a while since we've all gotten together like this, right?"

"That's right, Mr. Edgeworth," Iris added. The three of them were going into the Hexagon, a highly rated restaurant in the area.

"Then where's everyone else?"

"Apollo's coming with Ms. Woods, Athena is coming with Prosecutor Blackquill, and then there's Trucy, who's bringing a friend with her. They should either be here already, or get here soon."

Apollo, Juniper, and Simon were already sitting at the table. Simon immediately stood up seeing Edgeworth. "Chief Prosecutor," he bowed.

"There's no need to greet me like that, Prosecutor Blackquill. Just Mr. Edgeworth will do." He went to sit down next to Phoenix. Just then, Trucy and Athena rushed to the table.

"Hey everyone! Oh Mr. Edgeworth! You came! Thank goodness!" Athena exclaimed.

"Er…yes, I did." Why, I have no idea. Edgeworth realized something. "Won't we need one more seat for your friend, Trucy?"

Trucy shook her head. "That won't be necessary, Mr. Edgeworth. Because you're not going to be sitting here."

"I'm…not?"

"Follow us, Mr. Edgeworth," Athena said as she and Trucy were standing.

Edgeworth looked at Phoenix, who shrugged. "Just go along with it."

The chief prosecutor warily followed the two teenagers to a booth nearby. They then turned around and faced him. "Alright Mr. Edgeworth. Your date is going to be here in about ten minutes."

"D…date?!" What are they talking about?!

Trucy nodded. She pulled out her magic panties and from them she took out a bouquet of flowers. "Here's a nice bouquet to give her!" She handed them to the confused prosecutor.

"Wait a second. I thought I was coming here to eat dinner with all of you!"

"Well," Athena began.

"We…may have…sort of…setup a blind date for you."

They what?! "You…did?"

"Yeah. You should try it, Mr. Edgeworth. You have time on your hands. See how it goes," the young defense attorney encouraged.

I cannot believe this…a blind date…me? "Er…well…this isn't something I'm used to, you know."

"Don't worry! Everything's going to go great! Trust us!" Trucy said excitedly.

"Girls. As kind as this is…" He stopped. Ngh…they seem very happy. I certainly don't want to burst their proverbial bubble. *sigh* I suppose one blind date couldn't hurt. And…I could find out what the whole deal is with dating and all. "I…I appreciate it. Thank you."

Athena grinned. "Okay! Like we said, she should be here soon. You can have a seat right here!" She pointed at the booth.

Edgeworth slipped into the booth and sat down, placing the bouquet on the table.

"Good luck Mr. Edgeworth!" Trucy and Athena wished him as they walked off.

Luck…I should've known there was something else to this…I bet Wright knew of their plan all along! Hmph. I'll have to have a word with him then, won't I?

Edgeworth crossed his arms and sat there. I hope this person isn't going to be late. Certainly that would not make for a good first impression, now would it?

He didn't notice that a woman wearing skinny jeans and a purple sleeveless top was approaching his booth. "Excuse me? Are you…Miles Edgeworth?"

Edgeworth looked up at her. She had dirty blonde hair and green eyes. "Er…yes. That would be me."

"Hi! My name is Hazel Dylan. I'm your blind date."

"It's nice to meet you Ms. Dylan."

She sat down and saw the flowers. "Oh are these for me? Oh you shouldn't have!"

Before Edgeworth had the chance to give her the flowers, she took them off the table.

Well…now what do I do? "So, how about you tell me a little about yourself." The woman folded her hands and looked expectantly at him.

"Well, I'm a prosecutor. I live here in Los Angeles…" What else do I say?

"Don't you mean Chief Prosecutor?"

"So you've heard of me then?"

"Kay told me a little bit about you."

"Kay? As in Kay Faraday?" The woman nodded. Kay…I should've known she would have some role in this. I don't suppose she must be the friend Trucy's bringing. He looked up and saw that Hazel was still staring at him intently. His eyes searched around. "Um…"

She shrugged. "Is that it? That's all you have to say about yourself?!"

"There…isn't much to say about me is all."

"Come on! There's got to be more to you than what you just told me!"

"Um…er…how about you tell me a little about yourself then, Ms. Dylan?"

"Please. Call me Hazel. Ms. Dylan is just too formal! And I'll gladly tell you all about myself!"

Edgeworth spent the next ten minutes listening to the woman go on and on about her life. She told him how she was an actress, and how she did so many shows. She had grown up in Los Angeles too, and she had a big family.

Edgeworth tried to stay interested, but he couldn't help but become thoroughly bored. Goodness. This woman literally can't stop talking!

"Okay! I've told you my life story! Now it's your turn!" She said enthusiastically.

You…expect me to tell you my life story…on a first date? Is this what dating is like?! No wonder I've never felt the desire to go on one!

"My…life story? I'm sorry, but…I'll be quite frank with you, Ms. Dylan."

"Hazel."

"Right. I…I'm not very good at this whole 'dating' thing. In fact, this is my first date."

"Ever?"

"Ever."

"What?! You're like what? 34 years old?! You don't have much time left to be in the dating scene, you know? The more time you let go by, the harder it'll be for you. Why, this is probably my seventh date this week."

"Seventh date?! This week?!" Why is Kay friends with this person?!

She nodded. "I actually have another date right after this!"

"O…oh."

Just then, she saw a man pass their table. "Hey! Dex! What are you doing here?!"

A young man with electric blue hair wearing a white t-shirt and baggy jeans stopped at the booth. "Haze! What's up girl?" The two of them high-fived each other. "And who's the dude?"

"This is Miles Edgeworth. I'm on a blind date with him."

"Nice name, dude. I'm Dexter." The guy held out a fist.

"Uh…" Edgeworth looked at the man's fist, then up at Dex.

"Don't you know how to fist bump dude?"

Fist bump? What is that? And don't call me dude. "No, I'm afraid I don't."

Dex turned to Hazel and pointed at Edgeworth. "This guy's way too formal, Haze."

"I know."

I'm sitting right here you know!

"How about you join us?" Hazel offered.

"Sure thing. Some of the others are here too! Hey guys!"

Edgeworth saw a pair come up to the table. There was a woman with orange hair wearing a neon green t-shirt and neon pink tights, and a man wearing a leather jacket with ripped jeans who had a green Mohawk.

The pair came over and sat on Hazel's side of the booth, while Dexter suddenly sat next to the prosecutor.

After getting introduced to Edgeworth, two newcomers, whose names were Patch and Wizard, began conversing with Dexter and Hazel.

"So man. How many dates have you been on?"

Edgeworth had been consumed in his own thoughts when he realized that the question was directed at him. He looked up at Patch. He had to resist the urge to stare at the man's green Mohawk. "This…is my first one actually."

"This is your first date?! Come on. You seem like a guy who could get any girl to go out with you!" Patch replied.

"I've just…never been interested in dating, is all."

"So what made you start?"

"A few…friends…of mine wanted me to try it out." Much to my chagrin.

"So…you've never had a girlfriend then?" Dex asked. Edgeworth shook his head. "Gee. That sounds rough."

"Although, I'm not surprised," Patch added. "I mean. Look at him. He's so formally dressed, and he seems to be a little uptight. Not to mention look at that jabot he's wearing around his neck."

Uptight?! How could you…wait. A jabot?

"Objection!" The four people had their eyes on him. Agh. I need to stop this habit of mine. "I mean, ahem. Ms. Patch. I must inform you that this is not a jabot. This is a cravat."

She shrugged. "Looks like a jabot to me."

"There's a difference."

"Oh really? Enlighten us, Mr. Prosecutor," Hazel challenged.

Gladly. "A jabot was once used by men; however, now, they are used by women to wear with blouses. A cravat, on the other hand, has always been worn by men."

"But aren't they basically the same thing?" Hazel asked.

"No. They do have similarities, but they aren't the same thing."

"So what makes your cravat a cravat and not a jabot?" Patch questioned.

"Jabots are worn by women, and cravats by men. Simple."

"Wow! You're one weird fella!" Dex said, provoking laughter from everyone in the booth except Edgeworth. The four of them once more got into a conversation about something Edgeworth had no interest in whatsoever.

"Erm…excuse me?" He asked. "I need to go to the restroom. If you could…"

"Sure dude." Dex got out of the booth, allowing Edgeworth to get up. They picked up their conversation from where it left off, completely forgetting about the prosecutor.

What a relief! I can't imagine what else I would've had to have listened to. He went to the bathroom and came back. I certainly don't want to go back to that table. Plus, they seem to be having a good time without me there. He saw the four people laughing at the booth.

He then saw the table where everyone else was sitting. They were all in deep conversation as well. I shouldn't intrude on them either. I should just leave. But what if they see me? Then they'll make me go back and sit with my 'date.' Goodness. What do I do?!

Edgeworth searched the small restaurant for an empty table or booth he could sit in, but the place was pretty packed that night.

Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. There isn't a single place for me to sit. He then spotted what looked like an empty booth. Perfect! I can just sit here…oh.

There was a person sitting in the booth already. She had her head down, reading a book. However, sensing someone was there, she looked up.

"Oh, hello Mr. Edgeworth. How are you?"

"Ms. Sterling. I'm well, thank you."

"Did you need something?"

"Er…no. I was just looking for a free table to sit at is all." He then came up with an idea. "Are…are you here with someone?"

"No. I was supposed to meet with someone, but they called out at the last minute."

Edgeworth saw that Kay, Athena and Trucy were heading towards the table where his date was. "I hate to sound forward, Ms. Sterling, but…would you mind if I sat here?"

"Oh…um…sure. I don't see why not."

Edgeworth slipped into the opposite seat of the booth and quickly covered his face with the large menu. He heard Kay, Athena and Trucy walk by.

"I wonder where he went. Mr. Wright said that he wasn't in the bathroom."

"Yeah, but we didn't see him leave either. Do you think he's still here?"

"Well, I hope he's still here," Kay said. "Otherwise, he's going to get an earful next time I see him."

Note to self: avoid Kay at all costs. After they had passed by, he lowered the menu down. What a relief. He then looked up to see that Serena was staring at him, her head tilted to the side.

"I hate to pry, but were you trying to hide from someone, Mr. Edgeworth?"

"Er…well…I suppose you could say that."

"Just curious."

"You wouldn't mind if I stayed here for a while, do you?"

"No, it's fine."

Edgeworth peeked from the booth to see that his date was still sitting in the booth with her friends. He faced Serena once more, only to find her picking up the book she was reading before. "What are you reading?"

She looked up at him and smiled sheepishly as she held up her book. "It's…an anatomy and physiology book."

"O…oh." Well…she is a doctor. I suppose it shouldn't be that surprising. Edgeworth sat there quietly as she went on reading. After a few minutes though, she put down her book. She laid her hands on the table, her eyes searching all around her.

"Um…so…what were you doing here, Mr. Edgeworth?"

"I…was on a blind date."

"Oh? That sounds nice. How was it?"

"Not…too bad." It was awful really, but I shouldn't complain.

She nodded, her eyes landing on the table. Again, there was silence. She chuckled a little. "I'm sorry if I seem a bit unfriendly. I…I'm not very good with small talk."

"It's fine, Ms. Sterling. There's no need to apologize." I can't say I'm any better.

"Any new cases come up yet?"

"No, I'm afraid not. Things have been going relatively slow in terms of serious criminal activity, which actually is quite nice."

She nodded. "That's true. I guess I was just hoping I'd have something to do to pass another month's worth of time."

"What have you been doing to pass the time, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Not at all. I actually was pretty busy for the first couple of weeks, getting all of my brother's affairs settled and everything."

Right. Her brother…Mr. Sterling…it's been a month or so since he passed away, hasn't it? She's seemed to have recovered from it though.

"As for the time after that, well, I've just been reading, cleaning up my apartment, and helping around the apartment complex. I don't honestly know how I even got through the whole month without some kind of mental breakdown though. I don't really like to be sitting idly around."

"I can understand that."

"Hello there Miss. Oh! I didn't know you had someone else with you. May I take your order sir?" A waitress came by.

"Oh? You ordered already, Ms. Sterling?"

"Yeah. I already placed my order before the person I was meeting cancelled on me."

"Oh. Um…" Edgeworth looked over the menu and placed his own order.

"Awesome! Your food should be out in about ten minutes." The waitress walked away.

Edgeworth then remembered something. "I happened to look up the medical school in Borginia after you came to my office, Ms. Sterling. I have to say that from what I read, they have quite the prestigious program there."

"Yeah, they do. It's very intensive, which makes sense because you're getting your MD in five years after high school. Not to mention that even though it is largely focused on the sciences and subjects you need to be a qualified doctor, they expect you to be well-rounded, and you have to concentrate on two subjects other than science."

"Oh? I wasn't completely aware of that. What subjects did you end up taking?"

"I took up music and philosophy. I was considering math, but math was already part of the curriculum for me being a medical student."

Music and philosophy. Interesting subjects. "So do you play an instrument?"

"Back in middle school, I played the drums. I dropped that though, once I got to high school. Then I learned to play the piano when I was in Borginia."

"So you went to Borginia when you were out of high school?"

"Yeah. I was nineteen when I went there. I had to wait a year, since I didn't end up going to college when I was eighteen."

"Language must've been a bit of an issue I would imagine."

"It wasn't really language that was an issue for me. I mean, they spoke English well there, and I ended up learning Borginian also. I think it was moreso the…college life there that was hard for me. I imagined it to be this place that was different from what college was said to be like here, when in fact, it wasn't much different at all."

"I wouldn't know much about college life myself."

"What do you mean?"

"I was…homeschooled. I didn't go to school since I was nine years old, and I never even went to law school."

"Wow. That's amazing. And now you're chief prosecutor. Quite an accomplishment."

"I suppose so."

Once more, silence lingered between them. "Excuse me, Ms. Sterling. I'll be right back." Edgeworth got up and went to the bathroom. On his way there, however, he did make sure to see whether his date was gone. She hadn't been at the table when he went to the bathroom; however, when he came out, she had called out to him as he walked near the exit.

"Well, Mr. Prosecutor. Looks like that was a nice date!"

Edgeworth frowned. "I'm sorry I kind of…"

She waved her hand. "It's fine. I don't really care. It was just another date to me. I'll see you around! Come on guys! Time to head to the club!"

Edgeworth sighed. One less thing to worry about. I should just eat and then leave as soon as possible.

Serena sat in the booth silently, reading her beloved anatomy and physiology book. She turned her attention to an elderly woman who was standing at the booth, huffing and puffing.

"Excuse me, ma'am? May I help you?"

"How dare you?! You young whippersnapper!"

Serena's eyes widened as she leaned back. "How dare I what?"

"You! You young ones! Acting all sweet and innocent in front of guys! You've only got bad intentions in mind! Back in my day, young ladies were proper and meek. Now you all go out and pursue men. Why just the other day when I was here, I saw this young woman out with this handsome man, and she…"

Serena began feeling distressed. "I'm sorry to interrupt you, Ma'am, but I have no idea what you're talking about! What have I done to you?!"

"You seduced my beloved Edgey-poo!"

"Seduced?!" Serena's cheeks turned bright red, and her hand went to lay on her chest. "I would never seduce anyone! And who's Edgey-poo?"

Who is yelling like that? Edgeworth came back out, and his eyes widened. No! Not her! Why is she here of all places?! As if this day wasn't bad enough! He then noticed that the elderly woman was yelling at Serena. Why is she yelling at Ms. Sterling?! He caught wind of something she yelled. "…seduced…Edgey-poo!" Oh dear. I need to go over there and clear up this mess.

He slowly made his way over to the table.

"I never tried to seduce anyone, Ma'am! Please! I'm sorry if I've done something wrong to you or offended you in some way!" Serena apologized profusely.

"Ha! That innocent act might work on Edgey-poo, but it won't work on me!"

Edgeworth watched in horror as the elderly woman grabbed a plate of spaghetti from a waiter and dumped it over Serena.

"Ms. Sterling!" He ran over to the table.

Wendy Oldbag turned around, her eyes widened and a blush on her wrinkly cheeks. "Oh Edgey-poo! It's so wonderful to see you out and about!" She then frowned. "But how could you cheat on me, and with a young whippersnapper like her?!"

Edgeworth wasn't paying attention to the windy Oldbag; instead, he watched as the doctor wiped the red tomato sauce from her eyes and slowly opened them. Spaghetti was in her hair. A couple of other customers at the restaurant laughed at the site she made.

"Why are you ignoring me, Edgey-poo?!" A couple of waiters came over and escorted the woman away from them, all while she was yelling at them, calling them a bunch of no-good whippersnappers. She then yelled out to Edgeworth. "Don't worry, Edgey-poo! One day, we will be together! I promise!"

I hope that's a promise you intend to break. "M-Ms. Sterling. I…am so sorry. Here. Let me help you…"

"It's…okay, Mr. Edgeworth. It wasn't your fault." She stood up and sighed as she saw people pointing at her and laughing. "I…think I should get going and get myself cleaned up." The waitress that was serving them came over with their food. "Um…if you don't mind, I'd like to have that packed up. Here's the money." She handed the money to the waitress, who quickly went and packed up the food.

"I…I…" Edgeworth didn't know what to say. I could explain about my stalk…that woman, but…perhaps that isn't necessary.

With the food in hand, the doctor smiled weakly at the prosecutor. "It was nice speaking with you, Mr. Edgeworth. I'll…see you some other time." With that, she walked out of the restaurant, still covered in spaghetti and tomato sauce.

That was awful. I should've known that woman would be here, following me around. Poor Ms. Sterling. I can't even begin to imagine how embarrassed she must've been.

Edgeworth had heard laughter coming from the direction where Phoenix and the others were sitting. The one laughing the loudest was Phoenix himself, and they were laughing at Edgeworth.

Wright. Edgeworth glared in that direction. I have some words I'd like to share with you…

That date went wonderfully, didn't it?! And Wendy Oldbag...*shudder* I had to include her in here and ruin Edgeworth's day that much more. Anyway, I hope you guys did like this chapter! Feel free to leave me a review and/or private message me. I'm almost done with finals, so once this week's over, I'll be able to write and update more!