Fears
Athena was standing in the Bridge of the ship they had been flying in, staring at the security footage of Loki, sitting in his glass cage, not even really moving or looking at all uneasy about being there. She'd been watching him since their last meeting had been dismissed, just trying to see if she could find anything in his behavior that would help them work out what he was planning or when it might happen.
Or at least that was what she had told the others.
Really…she was hardly even paying attention to Loki or how he was moving or sitting or his expressions. She couldn't focus and she knew that was dangerous. She was trying to, she really was, but it was just that…what her brother had said to her in her dream, it was getting to her more than it should. They were not at all easy to kill, her or Thor, anyone from Asgard, they were difficult. And, had her brother been calmer about it, she was sure she'd be more confident about this battle. But the way he had hugged her, the tears in his eyes, he was truly and deeply worried about her and for him to feel that profoundly and that certainly that her life was going to end being involved in this battle…she couldn't help but be wary.
She knew, as a warrior, that her life could end at any moment in the midst of battle, she was prepared for it, she had accepted it. But…that was the difference between battle and prophecy. She didn't know when it was coming in battle, she fought her hardest to survive and she knew there were so many ways that knowing her own demise could go that her mind was spinning with them. She could be reckless, she could go into the battle Loki was planning and not have a care or regard for her own life because, in her mind, she might feel that she already knew how she'd die and it wasn't there. She might be too reckless and end up getting herself killed because prophecy was tricky and there were always things unseen and undiscovered about it. She might be too cautious, she might run about with a constant look over her shoulder that her doom was coming and miss it being right in front of her. She might disregard it, she might pretend like it was wrong and that it wouldn't happen and then end up in a situation where it was happening just as her brother had seen and she could be killed. Or she might try to change it, try to do anything she could to avoid it and end up causing it to happen by means of doing so…or worse, cause someone else to take her place, like Thor.
She closed her eyes and let out a breath, reaching up a hand to rub her fingers to her forehead, there was too much, too many variables, too much that could go wrong or right and she…she didn't know what to do. She knew of her brother's prophecies, she'd seen them come about, most of them occurred just as he saw them, just as he interpreted them, but others happened as he saw them but were in a different context than he thought and had a different result than he believed it would lead to. She couldn't even put stock in either occurrence happening as she wouldn't know if it would happen just as he saw and thought it would or if there was something missing. She couldn't take that risk and it was doing her head in. Her thoughts were going in circles and she needed to stop thinking about her potentially inevitable death.
This was why she hated prophecies, they hung over you even when you tried your best not to let them, to ignore them. But if she ignored them it might be even more doom and destruction for others. It was just a big mess and it was starting to consume her life, thoughts and attention and she couldn't risk that happening. The agents there were counting on her and Thor to help them, to protect them, to face Loki and battle him as equals, to guess at what his play was and to help give them any insight they could about what was going on. This was not the time nor the place to be fretting about her own death on the horizon. She wasn't even sure if she was going to die! She shouldn't be focusing on this.
But she knew why she was, what a large part of her concerns were based around.
She glanced over at Thor who was speaking to Coulson as the man seemed to type something into his 'computer' as he'd described it. THOR, he was her biggest concern in all of this. How would he react if the prophecy happened as her brother feared? If she died…at the hands of his brother, what would he do? She was worrying more about him, she realized, than her own life.
If she died, she died, that would be it. She had no qualms about it, she had no illusions that she'd live to the end of eternity and not fall in some battle or another. Even the bravest fighters, the wisest warrior, and the most skilled swordsman could fall at any time. She made peace with that. It was everyone else around her she worried about.
Her family…
She knew it was an enormous risk to leave them and join the Asgardian warriors. They had had so many issues for so long and had only just started to heal with each other, get along again, be a family. Her death (the death of any of her siblings or family members really) would drive an enormous wedge in their progress. It was like a fragile glue that was holding them all together, growing stronger by the decade and century, but still tentative. Any death could shake that, break it, send them all crumbling back into the pit they'd clawed themselves out of. She didn't want that. She knew how vengeful her family could be and she didn't want them to sink into that nor did she want them to turn their anger on Odin and Frigga and Thor. She had left them, making them promise that they would not seek out vengeance if she happened to fall while staying with them and training. They had given their word but she knew that the ties of blood for them was important and it would overrule their promise to her.
And then there was Thor.
He would be devastated if he lost her, just as much as she would turn into a raging monster and slaughter whoever had dared kill him herself. She hadn't realized just how far she was willing to go for him, how deep her feelings actually ran till the Destroyer had killed him, till she had seen him lying in the streets, unmoving and dead and her heart had broken and she hadn't even thought. She'd just run in front of a blast meant for him and had been willing to drop the shield, to take the blast and join him as warriors in the afterlife. She hadn't even realized she'd done that till the Destroyer had been destroyed. It was a sharp wake up call to her just how much she cared for him and loved him and she knew, in her heart, if anything like what she feared was coming for her happened to him there would be no stopping her from slaughtering the one who took his life, nothing short of death would keep her back. And she knew that Thor would be the same.
She finally understood what he meant by how she should react instead of think, how much more powerful raw emotion could be instead of carefully thought out blows. When powered by anger or grief it could be a truly devastating amount of power put into blows and the like, and Thor had always been more feeling and emotive than she was. He reacted to slights, he was better now, thought more, didn't let smaller things get to him, but if she fell before him…at Loki's hands…she was truly scared for what that would mean for Loki and for Asgard. She and Sif had spoken once, about Thor and Sif, about how Sif had once been fond of Thor in that manner but had since moved on. Sif claimed she had never seen Thor take to someone like he had hear, to seek someone out, to hoard her time to himself and desire her attention and thoughts and advice. To Sif, she felt that Thor was genuinely and deeply in love with her and if that was as deep as Sif seemed to feel it was…her death would shatter him, it would drive him into a rage and…
The last thing she wanted was for Thor to kill his brother. She had seen enough of that in her own family, plots against the others, sororicide, fratricide, matricide and patricide and just blood spilt within the family and she didn't want that for Thor. She didn't want him to turn into a monster that would slaughter his own brother out of rage and revenge. She didn't want him to return to Asgard as a broken man and a cruel and heartless king. Frigga had told her a short while ago, as they talked amidst her preparations for her dream connection, that she hadn't seen Thor so happy and open with another as he was with her. She claimed that Thor had given her his whole heart to keep for eternity and, while she was sure it wasn't for eternity, Frigga seemed certain that it was she who would be the next Queen of Asgard after Odin stepped down. They had tried to do another coronation but Thor had refused. Before he had been eager for the throne, but this time he merely wished to be worthy of it in his heart first.
She was truly worried how careless and reckless Thor might become in the throes of his anger and sorrow and hurt. She didn't want him to make a mistake, to attack blindly and get himself killed. A conscious (or subconscious) decision to surrender one's life to be with another was one thing, to be so consumed by emotions as to lose one's head in battle and end up being killed…that was another thing. And it wasn't just Thor's life on the line, his heart…she didn't want to break his heart, she never wanted to hurt him and she knew her death would break his heart. She wanted him to be a strong and good king and the only thing she could think of to get her through this, to get her through the constant worrying and fear of what Thor would be like after her death, if she did die, was the hope that…maybe it wouldn't be like how she feared. Maybe, just maybe, her death would drive him to be a better king, to rule in her memory and be wiser and more thoughtful, to plan things out and react less, to give more consideration to things and to try and be calm as he could be. Maybe her death would be a turning point to him accepting the throne so HE could protect his people from the throne instead of the battlefield, so he could avoid it getting to a battle in the first place.
She doubted that second one would happen, Thor would likely rage first, but if he lived…she had to hope that it would turn out for the better for him in the end.
She shook her head, this was truly the WORST time to be fretting on all this. She was a warrior, she was someone who tried to keep her mind as unbiased and focused as she could and she needed to focus now. Too many people were depending on her. She glanced at Thor again, watching him a moment longer as he leaned over to see something Coulson was showing him but pulled her attention away a moment later, watching Loki but still paying attention to what was being said around her.
"As soon as Loki took the doctor," Coulson was telling Thor, "We moved Jane Foster," he glanced up to look at Athena a moment before focusing on Thor, "We've got an excellent observatory in Tromso. She was asked to consult there very suddenly yesterday. Handsome fee, private plane, very remote. She'll be safe."
"Thank you," Thor clapped Coulson on the shoulder, "It's no accident Loki taking Erik Selvig. I dread what he plans for him once he's done. Erik is a good man."
"He talks about you a lot," Coulson remarked, his gaze flickering to Athena once more as he and Thor began to walk across the Bridge, "You and Athena changed his life. You changed everything around here, especially my security systems," he chuckled, thinking of how easily they'd been able to get through his men.
"They were better as they were," Thor shook his head, "We pretend on Asgard that we're more advanced, but we…we come here battling like Bildschneip!"
"Like what?" Coulson frowned.
"Bildschneip."
Coulson glanced at Athena, half expecting her to elaborate for Thor, but she was just standing before a monitor, fiddling with a coin on a chain and frowning at Loki.
"You know," Thor continued, "Huge, scaly, big antlers. You don't have those?"
"No."
"Huh," he murmured, "Well they are repulsive, and they trample everything in their path," he paused beside a large window, looking out at the clouds and land below, "When Athena and I first came to earth, Loki's rage followed me here and your people paid the price. And now again. In my youth I courted war…"
"I thought you courted Athena?" Coulson frowned, the way the man had rushed to her defense and protected her in their base made him think Athena had been his wife or something, though he'd said sister to test that.
"No we have only just begun our courtship," Thor smiled at that.
"War hasn't started yet," Fury's voice called as he strode into the room, Coulson noting that Athena still had yet to turn to glance at him despite him and Thor doing just that, "You think you can make Loki tell us where the Tesseract is?"
"I do not know," Thor sighed, "Loki's mind is far afield, it's not just power he craves, it's vengeance upon me. There's no pain would pries his need from him."
"A lot of guys think that, until the pain starts."
"What are you asking me to do?" Thor frowned, sensing something in the man's words.
"I'm asking, what are you prepared to do?" Fury countered.
"Loki is a prisoner," Thor argued though he knew that torture was sometimes an accepted method in the realms. Asgard did apply this technique to enemies but…just knowing Loki was his brother and the enemy made him hesitant to see it happen to his brother.
"Then why do I feel like he's the only person on this boat that wants to be here?"
"We've established that he's here for a reason," Coulson cut in, not wanting the two men to start arguing, "We just don't know what that purpose is."
Fury let out a frustrated breath at that and pointed at Thor, "You, come with me. We need to have a chat about how to deal with Loki and get something out of him."
Thor nodded, casting a glance at Athena before he followed Fury to the other end of the room, leaving Coulson and Athena on the other side. Coulson glanced between the two, taking Fury's point at Thor to mean that he wasn't needed and made his way over to Athena.
"I don't think you're the real Athena," he remarked out of nowhere, making her look at him.
"I'm sorry?" Athena blinked.
"You may have the grey eyes and the snakey breastplate going for you," Coulson shrugged easily, "But Athena's got brown hair not blonde."
"You have met the real Athena then?" she started to smile.
"You tell me," he challenged with an easy smirk of his own, making her laugh a little, "Care to tell me what's bothering you?"
Her smile turned down, "There is nothing ill at ease in my mind," she turned back to the image of Loki on the monitor.
"You know, we're trained in a few fields here," he began, turning to look at Loki too, thinking it might make her more open to talk if he wasn't staring at her, "We're trained to know when someone's lying," he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, "I won't force you to talk…"
"Like Fury intends to do with Loki?" she cut in.
"Yeah," he frowned at that, understanding that Loki was one of their own, she wouldn't want to be a part of torturing him any more than he'd want to torture Hill.
"It wouldn't work anyway," she remarked.
This time he blinked, "How do you know that?"
"Have you not been watching him?" she gestured at the monitor, of Loki sitting rigidly, hardly moving, seeming to be focusing on his breathing, "I have known Loki for a very long time and that is not how he sits. He slouches to the side. He would sooner lean on his elbow or on the floor and put an arm to the bench than sit like that."
"You're gathering that torture won't work because he's sitting up straight?"
"I am gathering that he is sitting up straight because he has already been tortured," she countered and his eyes widened, "You said that Agent Barton's eyes were entirely blue, an eerie unnatural blue. Loki's are not. He is not being controlled by the scepter, but he IS being controlled if partially. The way he moves, the way he sits, the flickers of emotion on his face…" she shook her head, tilting it, "He has already been tortured Coulson. He would be able to withstand anything you or the others attempt on him and he would only break when it is already too late."
Coulson eyed Loki closely, trying to see what she had and…then he did. Loki was sitting slightly hunched over, not moving any more than he had to. Every move that he did make, no matter how small, brought a small flicker of a flinch to his face. His hands were curled in fists on his knees and he could see how he didn't inhale deeply but shallowly and slowly, as though he were both trying to focus on breathing and controlling the pain. He had gotten a few glimpses of Loki from just after he'd arrived, had been told reports by Hill and Fury, how Loki's skin was pale, bags under his eyes, a crazed look in them. Hill had remarked, in passing, how Loki had grunted and winced when he got into the car that Barton had stolen. He was sure he hadn't seen it before because he wasn't looking for the signs and Loki was doing his damnedest to hide them, but he saw them now…
Loki had been tortured.
It made sense why he would hide that from them, he wouldn't want them to know, to use that as a weakness against him. But Athena, who had been watching him like a hawk since he'd first been put in the glass case, had seen it. She had been the only one watching him long enough to see it, had been the only one watching him so long that knew what he was like enough to see the differences in his actions.
He looked back and forth between the monitor and her, seeing something else in her eyes, "There's something more," he murmured, "I won't ask what. I just wanted you to know…you're safe here…" he frowned when she scoffed at that, "You don't feel safe."
Athena swallowed hard and glanced over her shoulder at Thor before she turned back to Coulson, studying him closely, eyeing him as though she were trying to determine how trustworthy he was for her to speak to him. He remained quiet, smiling gently at her, trying to not push her and show her that she could tell him and he'd not interrogate her for the information.
"I won't pry," he repeated, "I just thought you seemed distracted and quiet and burdened. If I can help at all, that's what I'm here for."
Athena eyed him a moment longer before sighing, glancing at Thor once more to make sure he wasn't near her before she turned back to him, "My brother, he's a…what you would call a Seer, a Prophet, um…and Oracle?" he nodded along, understanding what she meant, "He had a vision of me…in that room," she nodded to the monitor where the glass cage was, "Loki was out of it and…he was killing me."
"We won't let that happen," Coulson promised her, understanding now why she was so distracted by the image of Loki in the cage. It wasn't just that she WAS watching him for any more clues about him and what happened, she was also watching to make sure he was STILL in the cage and not free to come after her, "Do you know how it happens?" he asked, if anything did happen and Loki got out, he wanted to know as much as he could to help protect her. As Thor had promised before they'd last left, they were allies now and allies protected each other.
"No," she sighed, "It was very vague and disjointed for him, he just…saw a man in black and green, with black hair and a scepter…killing me in a room with a glass cage."
Coulson nodded and glanced at Thor, realizing something else, "Thor doesn't know, does he?"
He rather suspected that if Thor had known, Loki would be dead already or at least unconscious or chained up even more.
"No he doesn't," Athena told him, "And I will not have him find out," she hinted at a threat in her voice, "It will distract him and…we can only afford one of us distracted at a time."
"I understand," he nodded, "But we WILL do everything we can to protect you and Thor while you're with us helping us. You do know that."
"Yes," she nodded, offering him a small smile for his efforts, "And I thank you for that, but Loki is Thor and my responsibility, he is our mission and it will fall to us to protect you."
"Oh, you never know," Coulson smiled, "We have a few weapons here that might surprise you."
"Athena!" Fury called from across the room, making her glance at him over her shoulder, "A word."
She nodded, tucking her coin chain into her armor once more before she gave Coulson a nod farewell and moved over to where Fury was standing with Thor and Natasha.
"I want you and Thor to tell Agent Romanoff anything you can about Loki that will help her interrogate him," Fury ordered.
"You wish us to divulge personal information about Loki?" Athena frowned at that, Thor seeming just as uncomfortable with the request even if it meant helping them find out what was going on.
"Whatever you tell me will stay in my head and my head alone," Natasha promised, "I'll guard his secrets with my life and only use what I need to get to him. I have a very…unique way of getting information."
"You will not torture him?" Thor inquired.
"No, I talk to him," Natasha added.
"Information like you request is only to be divulged between warriors," Athena stated, "Have you a training ground here?"
"We have a gym," Natasha frowned a moment, not sure what she meant.
"Then we shall have a spar," Athena determined, "If you can best me, it will mean that you are strong enough to not let secrets slip to others."
"Why not let me fight the big guy?" Natasha nodded at Thor, "I CAN take him."
"I have no doubts," Athena agreed, "But Thor still tends to lose himself in a fight, I have always been able to assess as I fight."
Natasha considered that a moment before looking at Fury for permission, "Whatever gets the information," he rolled his eye and that was all the permission Natasha needed to lead Athena and Thor away.
Athena smirked as she moved to nudge Thor, seeing him frowning as they walked, "What is it?"
"I should fight," he remarked, "He is MY brother. Why must it be you?"
Athena just put a hand on his arm, "You don't still think I am interested in women do you?" she teased, recalling how he'd once, for a second or two, assumed she had been interested in Sif in the middle of trying to explain her feelings for HIM.
"No, of course not," Thor muttered, though she saw his hands clench into fists again.
"I am not interested in Steve, Tony, Banner, Fury, or Coulson either," she added, squeezing his arm till he looked at her, "I am only, and have only ever been, interested in YOU, Thor."
Thor glanced at her for that, a smug smile making its way across his face as he stood a little straighter while they walked, Athena rolling her eyes at how pleased he was about that.
~8~
Athena winced as she placed an ice packet that Coulson gave her behind her neck, Thor grinning smugly, but with concern in his eyes, from beside her. Natasha had won their spar. She had truly proven that she had a unique way of getting information out of people, she had taken what she'd said about assessing as she fought to mean that was her natural fighting method and used it against her. She didn't use any of the same techniques or moves, but surprised her, ending the fight in her getting slammed to the ground with Natasha's thighs around her neck. She had then praised the woman and requested she teach her that move when this was over…much to Thor's alarm as he could only guess what that technique would mean for her battles in Asgard…likely victory. But her neck was sore from the slam and now she was applying ice to it, very impressed with Natasha.
They were all standing in the Bridge, watching her approach Loki on the monitor as he paced, "Hmm," he glanced over, "There's not many people that can sneak up on me."
"But you figured I'd come," Natasha moved to stand before him.
"After," he nodded, "After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate."
"I wanna know what you've done to Agent Barton."
"I'd say I've expanded his mind."
"That sounds like what he said about the Tesseract," Athena murmured, though they both knew that the Tesseract had likely not affected him as much as the physical and mental torture he'd endured.
"And once you've won," Natasha frowned, "Once you're king of the mountain. What happens to his mind?"
"Is this love, Agent Romanoff?" Loki smirked.
Natasha schooled her face into a neutral expression, "Love is for children. I owe him a debt."
"Tell me."
She hesitated before continuing, "Before I worked for SHIELD, I uh well, I made a name for myself. I have a very specific skill set. I didn't care who I used it for, or on. I got on SHIELD's radar in a bad way. Agent Barton was sent to kill me, he made a different call."
"And what will you do if I vow to spare him?" Loki leaned in.
"Not let you out," she scoffed.
"Ah, no," he laughed, "But I like this. Your world in the balance, and you bargain for one man?"
"Regime's fall every day. I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian, or I was."
"And what are you now?"
"It's really not that complicated," she stated, "I got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out."
Athena's eyes narrowed at that as she watched her, so that was her technique, tell him just enough of the truth that he believed her, but not tell him everything. Make him think he had the upper hand and that he was the winner, the one in control and he would let slip everything…
And so it appeared he was.
"Can you?" he scoffed at that, "Can you wipe out that much red? Drakov's daughter? Sao Paulo? The hospital fire? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child, a prayer. Pathetic. You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away," he slammed his fist against the glass, making her jump back, but Athena could see it was a second delayed, just a second, she had forced herself to act like that, "I won't touch Barton! Not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear," Natasha stepped back, her eyes wide with fear, "And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work," he grinned as she turned away, "And when he screams I'll split his skull! This is my bargain, you mewling quim!"
Natasha bowed her head, sounding as though she were starting to cry, "You're a monster!"
Loki just grinned madly, "Oh, no. You brought the monster."
And then, as though a light had just turned on, Natasha lifted her head and turned back to him, her face entirely dry, devoid of any sorrow or fear, as she seemed almost exasperated that it had been so easy, "So, Banner? That's your play."
"What?" Loki blinked.
But Natasha just grinned and turned to leave, "Loki means to unleash the Hulk," she called into the comms, "Keep Banner in the lab, I'm on my way. Send Thor and Athena as well," she paused and turned back to Loki in the doorway, smirking mockingly at him, "Thank you, for your cooperation!"
Athena smiled as Natasha turned and strode out of the room, "I like her. She would make a good Valkyrie."
A/N: I'm starting to think the karma gods have it out for me for posting so timely for so long before :( This morning I went to upload and post the chapters and my MS word (which I'd edited it on last night) wouldn't let it because apparently I've been using a Trial version of it for the last few months and it expired :( All my MS documents wouldn't open or copy or upload or anything :( I had to run to work and then went to the nearest Staples the second I got out, bought MS word, put it on my computer the minute I got home, and then tried to get the documents opening again :( -sigh- That's what I get for thinking, 'oh, I'll upload the edited chapters to Doc Manager in the morning' which I never really do, I usually edit it in Doc Manager but my internet was doing the weird working/not working thing and I didn't want to risk all the editing disappearing when I went to save :( But I finally got MS working again! Woo! I hope you enjoy the chapter :) I'll do my best to make sure this doesn't happen again and that the stories can really and truly be updated at their normal times again :)
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I wanted to wish a very happy birthday to DRWfangirl! I hope you have a fantastic day! :)