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Chapter Four
Hogwarts students were buzzing about the episode between Sirius and Casselle but like all gossip the incident eventually became ancient history, the students of Hogwarts found other people and events of interest to the relief of both Casselle and Sirius.
Casselle reverted to ignoring Sirius instead of arguing with him, life was much easier when she pretended he wasn't there and he seemed to take her lead showing her no interest during lessons or in the common room.
Christmas was fast approaching and Casselle found it increasingly hard to pay attention during her lessons, a sentiment shared by almost every other student (Lily and Remus appeared to be the only exceptions).
Snow blanketed the grounds and Casselle and Emma managed to pull Lily away from her textbooks long enough to take a walk around the lake.
"It's so beautiful here," Casselle remarked as the trio stared out over the lake.
"There's no where quite like it," Lily agreed. "Sometime I think I'll wake up and this whole magic thing will have been a dream."
Casselle nodded, "I know exactly what you mean."
The girls took refugee under an old oak on the bank of the lake sitting down after clearing away a patch of snow. They huddled together around a jar of flames Lily had managed to conjure.
"So are you guys going home for the Holidays?" Lily asked.
"Yea doing the whole Christmas thing," Emma replied with a grin. "My brothers in a right state, he's worried that Santa will remember him putting a frog in my bed over Summer Holiday," Emma came from a large wizarding family and had one older brother and three younger brothers the youngest being barely over six years old.
Casselle and Lily chuckled, "I suppose I'm heading home too…" Casselle replied with a sigh.
Lily and Emma shared a look; Casselle had always been secretive about her home life, often dodging questions when either of them asked.
"I'm going too, Petunia supposedly has a new boyfriend and I get the pleasure of meeting him over the Holiday." Lily chimed in with a sigh.
Emma and Casselle made a face they both knew enough about Lily's older sister to know that any man she dated wouldn't be remotely pleasant.
"Just how you wanted to spend the holiday I'm sure," Emma replied sympathetically.
"Maybe opposites attract and he'll be wonderful," Lily teased.
Emma and Casselle burst into giggles and Lily quickly followed them.
"I'm freezing let's go back to the common room," Emma stated standing and brushing some snowflakes off her jacket.
"You guys go ahead I'm going to stay for a while longer," Casselle replied.
"You sure?" Lily asked standing with Emma.
"Yea I'll be up in a bit."
"Here at least keep the flame, and don't stay out too long you'll catch your death."
"Yes mother," Casselle replied grinning at Lily.
The other two girls made their way back to the castle leaving Casselle under the tree. Casselle sighed, only five more days till Christmas break, she thought to herself hugging her knees to her chest.
Holidays were always some of the worst times for Casselle. She would return home where she would be reprimanded and scolded while her brother was praised. He was a Slytherin after all, her mother's old house; he made the top marks and had the right friends. Casselle on the other hand blew off her studies (not that she made bad marks), and was friends with all the 'wrong' people. Not that it really mattered to her what her parents thought anyway, at least that's what she told herself.
Her father being high in society as a member of parliament, and worshiping Nathaniel allowed his son to not hate him. Though being a drunk as well as a demanding father allowed his daughter to hate him. He resented and hated Casselle for her obstinate personality.
She stood sighing, the cold finally getting the better of her and made her way back to the castle. She had only made it to the third floor however when she ran into her brother.
"Need something Nate?" she asked crossing her arms as he blocked her way.
"Father just wanted me to remind you that you're expected to return home for the Holiday…he's very displeased about your behavior back in November," Nathaniel replied a cruel smile gracing his lips.
"What are yo-" Casselle froze as she realized what he meant, he had told her father about the incident with Sirius. "And I suppose you left out the part about the potion?" Casselle asked angrily.
"I might have forgotten to mention it," he replied his black eyes meeting her blue ones triumphantly.
"What did I ever do to make you hate me Nate?" She asked her voice soft.
Nathaniel laughed, "In order to hate you I would have had to actually care at some point. No little sister I simply thought this might make the Holiday more amusing. See you at home." And with that he brushed past her pushing her out of his way easily.
Casselle's shoulders slumped, home was a hell in even in the best of circumstances but now it was certain that she would have a miserable Christmas.
"He'll pay for that," she muttered her fist clenching in anger as she made her way back to the common room.
The common room was far from the serene scene Casselle was hoping for. Sirius and James seemed to have taken it upon themselves to charm the various pieces of furniture into thinking they were attack dogs. The pair roared with laughter as one of the plush chairs chased a second year around the common room.
Casselle scowled already at her limit as she dodged a foot stole and started towards the boys. Lily, however, beat her to it.
"Potter! Black! Change the furniture back NOW!" Lily yelled placing her hands on her hips.
"Aw come on Evans it's only a little fun, you do know what fun is right?" Sirius replied watching as a fire poker chased a seventh year girl up to the dormitory.
"I'll fetch a prefect and you'll lose points," Lily threatened.
James and Sirius scowled at her, "Where's your loyalty Evans?" James demanded.
"I would suggest turning the furniture back unless you'd like to spend Saturday in detention," Lily snapped.
Sirius rolled his eyes, "Fine we're doing it okay?" He waved his wand lazily and the furniture all reverted to its natural immobile state.
James and Sirius made their way up the boys staircase with Peter on their heels, obviously bored with the common room now that the fun was over.
"Do they ever think about anyone but themselves?" Casselle huffed joining Lily, Remus and Emma, who had stayed behind to help put the furniture back. The furniture had stopped moving but it was strewn across the room.
Remus sighed, "They're not bad…sometimes they just don't think…"
"Sometimes?" Lily scathed. "I would say closer to ninety-nine percent of the time."
Casselle nodded her agreement as she flicked her wand moving a chair back into its proper spot.
Remus shrugged choosing not to comment. The common room began to fill with students again; news of the end of the killer furniture had obviously spread.
Remus, Emma, Lily and Casselle managed to sort the common room out and the girls bid Remus goodnight retreating to their dormitory for the evening.
Sooner than Casselle would have liked she was seated on the Hogwarts Express opposite Lily and next to Emma. She stared out the window tuning out the other two girls retreating into her own thoughts.
A commotion in the hallway snapped her out of her daze, "What the hell-" she was cut off as their compartment door burst open and four boys fell in slamming it shut behind them.
Emma, Lily and Casselle stared in shock at the four marauders who were too busy laughing to reply to their perplexed looks.
Lily found her voice first, "And what do you think you're doing?"
The boys stood up brushing themselves off, "Sorry about that Evans," James drawled still grinning while he messed up his hair causually, "Had to make a quick getaway."
Lily glared at the boys, "Well if you're done with your childish antics leave," she snapped.
"Nah we need to lay low for awhile, don't we mate," Sirius replied grinning as he sat between Emma and Casselle.
"Absolutely, who knows how long it'll be till the coast is clear," James replied taking the seat next to Lily.
Remus rolled his eyes but sat next to Emma anyway leaving Peter to take the seat on Lily's other side.
Casselle ignored them turning back to her window gazing, tuning out the chatter around her.
"What's got you in such a mood Dawson?" Black drawled looking at her expectantly.
"Butt out Black," she snapped. Her mood was already relatively foul and the last thing she needed was for Black to take a shot at her.
"My, my aren't we touchy," Black replied grinning cheekily.
"I'm not in the mood Black go bother someone else," Casselle growled. The compartment had fallen silent as the others watched the exchange.
"Something eating at you Dawson? What, not looking forward to spending break with your charming brother?"
Casselle clenched her jaw her anger only increasing at his ability to guess what was bothering her, "I could say the same about you Black," Casselle replied hotly. "How's Bella doing?"
Sirius scowled at her, "At least I'm the talented sibling, if you ask me your brother must have soaked up everything worth having in the womb leaving you with the scraps. It's no wonder your parents like him better," Sirius shot back.
Casselle stared at him as pain ripped through her. He had hit the figurative nail on the head. Casselle stood shakily and left the compartment heading for the bathroom to upset to even reply.
A pang of guilt flashed through Sirius as he registered the hurt in her eyes. The compartment fell silent after she left all eyes on Sirius.
"What?" He asked somewhat indignantly, "She started it."
"Sirius Black I swear if you don't go apologize to her this minute," Lily started her face red with anger.
"Fine, fine I'm going don't have a cow," he mumbled leaving the compartment and walking down the hall of the train.
Casselle leaned against the bathroom wall closing her eyes. He's an ass, she told herself, it's not true I'm just as worthwhile as Nate, probably more worthwhile, he's a bloody Slytherin after all. Her shoulders slumped as she repeated that over and over again in her head. Sirius's words had cut her in a fundamental way and as much as she hated to admit it the words coming from someone that should sympathized with her position hurt even more. Wasn't he supposed to understand? Didn't his family treat him the same way?
Casselle turned staring in the mirror. The same blue eyes and dark hair were reflected back at her. It was true that she and Nathaniel shared almost no physical similarities despite being twins. Nate was older by a whole five minutes and his eyes were so dark they appeared black. He had sharp cheek bones that made his face look harsh where as Casselle's blue eyes and soft features made her look gentler.
Their differences were more than purely physical. Nate had always been obedient; doing what he was told when he was told to do it. Casselle on the other hand had always had a rebellious streak; she questioned her parents regularly and often ignored orders. He was often cruel and cold where Casselle was, most of the time, friendly and full of laughter.
"He's not better than you," she whispered staring at her reflection. "Not even close."
She sighed turning away from the mirror and sliding the bathroom door open, maybe she could find a compartment to herself and ride in peace for the rest of the trip.
Her hopes were short lived, however, as soon as she stepped out of the bathroom, she ran right into Sirius.
"Do you have to follow me around!" She yelled stepping away from him angrily.
Sirius rolled his eyes, "Don't flatter yourself Dawson. Look Evans said I had to come and get you so here I am now let's go."
Casselle glared at him, "You go."
"Look Dawson I didn't mean it okay?"
Casselle stared at him coldly, "You know Sirius you're the last person I would have expected that from. James, Lily, Emma, Remus, Peter they all have normal families so I don't expect them to understand. But you, you know what it's like to be the black sheep and that makes it worse," Casselle replied before brushing past him.
Sirius stared after her for once at a loss for words.
Casselle exited the train reluctantly her eyes automatically sweeping the platform for her parents. It didn't take long to find them and she quickly made her way over, it was best not to keep them waiting.
Nate had beaten her there and as Casselle approached her eyes met her fathers, "About time," he snapped turning promptly on his heels and leading their family to their car.
Casselle glanced back at the Hogwarts Express one last time, a wistful expression painting her features, before following her family.
As soon as they arrived at the manor Casselle was stripped of her wand and sent to her room.
She spent the first few hours of her Holiday staring at her ceiling, attempting to find patterns in the paint. Her only friend in the house their maid Millie couldn't even offer her any distractions because she was gone for a Christmas vacation. She laid on her bed feeling the tension in her body grow knowing it was only a matter of time before her father came in to 'discipline' her for her transgressions.
He came sometime between seven and eight, meaning her family had just finished dinner. She got hastily to her feet as the door opened, it was always better to be standing.
"Good evening," she muttered struggling for a polite tone.
"I'm incredibly disappointed in you Casselle," her father sneered. "Your brother has informed me that you've been conducting yourself in a less then pleasing manner."
Casselle remained silent, she could argue but it wouldn't make any difference at this point.
"I refuse to have my daughter go around acting like a whore Casselle," Her father went on his voice growing darker.
"Father I can explain-" Casselle started weakly but was silenced by a stinging slap to her cheek.
"Do not interrupt me," he snarled as Casselle held her cheek. "You will be confined to your room for the remainder of the break and if I get wind of that kind of behavior again I will pull you out of that school." With that he turned and left the room.
Casselle remained stationary after he left her hand still holding her cheek. She waited for the tears but they never came instead she just stood there staring at the floor feeling incredibly hopeless.
"It's not fair," she whispered to herself. Ah but, a little voice in her head whispered, life never is.
Casselle made her way back to her bed resuming staring at the ceiling.
The holiday seemed to creep by for Casselle who had not only finished all her homework in the first couple days but was already ahead in all her subjects. The only time she was permitted outside of her room was to use the bathroom or to attend mandatory family functions.
The only thing that kept her going was the small pile of parcels at the foot of her bed on Christmas morning. She smiled as she opened a package from Lily finding a box of Honeydukes chocolate and a beautiful cashmere scarf. She had also received a collection of rather raunchy novels from Emma and from Remus she received a collection of Sugar Quills and in a parcel from James a collection of Dungbombs (with a list of people he approved her using them on). She laughed thinking she was finished until she noticed she had a small package left.
Curious she picked it up looking for a note but found none. She cautiously unwrapped it and gasped at the contents. Inside was a sapphire pendant connected to a delicate silver chain. The blue of the jewel matched her eyes perfectly as she picked it up marveling at the beauty.
She dug through the wrapping but still found no note, where did you come from? She asked herself her fingers running delicately over the face of the jewel.
The mystery consumed her over the next couple of days. It wasn't from her family that much was clear. Though they had the means to buy something like that they hadn't given her any gifts that year and they surely would have taken credit for it if it was from them.
She had put the pendant on the day she got it and had gotten in the habit of playing with it, sliding the heart along the chain as she stared out the window. There was something comforting about the jewel that she couldn't quite place.
Thankfully the rest of the holiday passed in relative silence and she was soon on her way to King's Cross station to return to Hogwarts. Her father motioned for her mother and brother to go through the barrier first before turning to his daughter.
"Don't forget what we discussed Casselle, I told your brother to keep an eye on you and if your behavior doesn't improve you'll sorely regret it."
Casselle nodded staring at the floor.
"Good," he replied curtly taking her arm and marching her through the barrier.
The ride to Hogwarts was always better for Casselle then the ride from Hogwarts and she chatted happily with Emma and Lily for most of the journey. It felt good to be home.
The feast didn't disappoint and after Dumbledore said a few words they tucked in to an amazing spread of food. Casselle felt famished as she filled her plate, she had been fed at home but it wasn't anything compared to the food at Hogwarts.
"Slow down," Emma teased, "Better to pace yourself or you'll be sorry later."
Casselle made a face at her but did attempt to keep some dignity after that. Once the last dish cleared Dumbledore stood and dismissed the students who stood up and tiredly made their way back to their dorms.
"Cass where did you get that?" Lily asked pointing at the necklace Casselle hadn't been aware she was playing with.
"Oh erm Christmas present…" Casselle replied awkwardly slipping the pendant under her robes and glancing around. Potter and Black were a couple of steps behind them and Sirius's head had snapped up at Lily's question. She didn't want too many questions about the necklace especially since she didn't know where it came from.
"Wow someone must really love you, did you see the size of that rock!" Emma exclaimed her eyebrows shooting to her hairline. "Who was it from?"
"No one special," Casselle muttered. "Do either of you know the password?"
"It's Baulderdash," Sirius replied a grin spread across his arrogant face.
Casselle gave him a cold look before disappearing inside the common room. She hadn't forgotten or forgiven him for the episode on the train, especially not after the Holiday she had just had.
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