Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Diary of a Call Girl.

Everything was foggy and he was a little bit disoriented when he finally started to come to. He felt something touch his arm and he immediately jerked it away in panic.

"Calm down, love," a thick scottish accent soothed him. "You're alright now. You're in the hospital."

Harry opened his eyes to look up in the direction of the voice. He found himself looking up at the face of a very pretty, middle aged woman. She smiled warmly at him and set about checking the various machines he was hooked to and then finally changing his IV bag.

"You had us worried there for a minute," she smiled again.

"What day is it?" He managed to croak.

"Twenty-first, only a few days til Christmas. You're quite lucky you are. Is there anyone I can call for you? There was a man here earlier, but is there anyone else?" She grinned down at him. He ignored her and felt the relief that it had only been a day since it'd happened. Draco was probably pissed at him.

"Can I have some water?" He asked and she nodded pouring him a cup from the small pitcher on the bedside table. "Thank you."

The nurse must have passed the news of him waking along to his doctors because it wasn't long after that that they were in his room. They were checking his wounds and his chart and talking amongst one another and issuing orders to the various nurses. He was poked and prodded more times than he could count. His bandages were changed and he was given another dose of whatever medicine he was on. And whenever he tried to ask a question he was put off or shushed, he wished that they were all as nice as the nurse that had greeted him this morning.

He was just confused about everything. Like how had he gotten here? Where was Rita Skeeter? More importantly where were his friends? Were they keeping everyone out?

It felt like ages before anyone told him anything and when they did it was only to tell him that he had a visitor. When the door opened and Severus came in he nearly fainted. What could the man be doing here?

"It seems as though I'm still your emergency contact," the man said softly.

He still felt a bit fuzzy from the drugs they were giving him and he wasn't entirely sure if the man was there or if he was imagining it. He studied the man and looked towards the door to make sure no one was coming it before he made the decision to speak aloud to what might be an empty room.

"Are you really here? Or am I imagining it?" He asked skeptically.

"I'm really here and I'm so sorry," the man said sitting down beside him and taking his uninjured hand into his own.

"You're a prick," Harry said after a moment.

"I know. Believe me I know and I am just so sorry," Severus said defeatedly.

"Where were you? I needed you and you just left," Harry winced at the pain from pushing himself up to look at the man.

"I don't think that now is the best time for this. You need to rest."

"If not now, then when?" Harry demanded.

"When they release you, but for now let's focus on getting you well enough to come home."

"How? I mean no one will even tell me what's happened to me. Like I know what's happened, but what are the repercussions?"

Severus stood and walked to the end of his bed and pulled his chart off of it and started flipping through the assortment of pages. He looked as though he was skimming a few parts and then finally looked up to where Harry was waiting expectantly.

"Your leg wound seems to have been very lucky as far as gunshot wounds go. It went straight in and out without doing any major damage. It'll probably be sore for awhile and you'll probably experience some mild difficulty walking until it begins to heal, but otherwise fine. Your shoulder there is a bit more trouble, the bullet exited cleanly, but you've got some damage to tendons it seems to have fractured your collarbone, so the recovery there is going to take a lot longer. You're very lucky, considering that she meant serious business."

"What's happened to her?" Harry asked beginning to feel tired again.

"I don't know for certain. I haven't heard anything," Severus said reluctantly. "You look tired, you should rest."

"Where were you? Why'd you just go?" Harry asked and quickly glanced down at his hands, uncertain if he really wanted to know the truth to that.

"I'm not a kind man, Harry. I'm mean or cruel or callous, there are an entire slew of unkind adjectives that could be used to describe me and even more people who could use them."

"You never were to me. Well at least not until now. You just left. You gave up and you threw in the towel," Harry said fighting back tears now.

"Because you are exceptional and I made an exceptional effort never to be those things to you, but I failed as most humans are apt to do," Severus said looking at him sadly. "No apology would ever be good enough to even begin to repair the damage I've inflicted on what we had."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Harry admitted tiredly and sat back on his pillows.

"And I can't tell you what to do. Just know that I won't give up on you. Not now. Not until you've walked down the aisle with another man, and maybe not even then," Severus said collecting his coat and heading towards the door. "I've called Draco, he will alert your friends and they will be here shortly I am sure."

All he could do was nod as the man made his way out the door.

The next few hours were filled with visitors that weren't necessarily unwelcome, but all he wanted to do was to be at home and locked away in his room. He wasn't exactly sure how much more of Mrs. Weasley's doting that he could allow himself to be subjected to in just one day. No one would even mention Rita Skeeter to him, like he hated her, but he also wanted to know how she was. Every time he brought it up the subject was quickly changed, as though they were afraid talking about her might upset him. He also couldn't ask any of his friends if Severus had left or if he was still there because Tom was sat at his side protectively. He silently willed the man to get up and go to the loo so he might be able to ask Draco of the whereabouts of Severus. If the man left now he might never see him again.

His only reprieve came when he yawned and Mrs. Weasley noticed, and she quickly started ushering them all away insisting he needed rest. If he had known that was all it would have taken he would have yawned a lot sooner. She was even taking Tom by the arm and leading him out behind her. Harry smiled apologetically as the man leaned down to kiss the top of his head, and was finally pulled out with the promise that he would visit later. With the excitement at an all time low, he slowly started to drift off and before long he was completely gone.

It was what must have been a few hours later when he woke up and found Severus sitting in the chair next to his bed. He rubbed his eyes blearily and shook away the remnants of sleep. Neither of them spoke for a long time, but finally couldn't help himself and broke the silence.

"Where's Tom?" He finally asked.

"He left. Said he would be back later, should I go? Would you rather it be him?"

"No, I want you. I've always wanted you," Harry said without thinking, and glancing at the man's stony face worriedly.

"I'm afraid that I've quite ruined things in that aspect," Severus remarked heavily.

"I don't think things are irreparable," he replied earnestly, staring down at his hands.

"You moved on. You've built a new life and probably a better one without me. I don't deserve you. I left."

"I used to live in this amazing house, the house of my dreams. Right now it's like I'm living in a tiny house in the country that has a leaky roof, and I'm not exactly content with it, but I've adjusted. I've learned to live with it, but secretly I ache for more, for what used to be. For the roomy, warm house where I didn't have a care in the world. I've always heard that you can't go back, but you can move forward."

"What about Tom?" Severus asked skeptically.

"I need to have a talk with Tom. I'm not saying that it's going to be better, but if I have a choice and it feels like I do, I want to have the ability to move forward with you. I want to be able to build a future with you. It doesn't mean I'm not mad," Harry said pointedly. "It just means that I want you. Because I'm so fucking mad, but god, I love you and it takes my breath away sometimes."

"I love you too and I am sorry, so very sorry," Severus said unsure of if he was allowed to place a kiss on Harry's forehead, but finally decided in favor and placed a soft kiss over where Tom's had once held ground.

Harry wasn't sure how he was supposed to break things to Tom. He wasn't even sure when he would be able to do it. He wasn't sure of a lot of things it seemed. He could only hope that the man took it in stride and it didn't lead to him making another enemy. Tom knew how he felt about Severus, he knew coming in and he knew that this would always be one of the risks involved. There were always these kind of risks when it came to falling in love with someone who was in love with another person. Someone's wounds that hadn't even begun to heal. He felt incredibly callous and selfish for agreeing to a relationship with the man in the first place. It wasn't going to be fair of him to dump Tom so quickly for Severus.

Severus had had the capacity to rip his world apart in a few short seconds. He'd made it feel like the world had gone dark and stopped turning. Like he'd never feel the warmth of the sun's light ever again, it was an eternal winter. Severus also had the ability to make his heart flutter and race with just one look. To make his thoughts race and his face heat up with the idea of how much he loved the man. He was willing to work past all of the hurt and the desperation he'd felt, because of how very much he loved the man. If there was ever such a thing as soul mates he was convinced that he had found his in Severus. It was going to be a long and arduous journey when it came to rebuilding their relationship, but part of him was willing to crawl through glass and salt to have another chance at a happy ever after with the man. Things between them had fallen apart under very strange circumstances, just as they had come together that night on the balcony when Lucius had hired him as a date for the older man.

He couldn't help but to feel a mixture of worry and the warmth of happiness spread over him as he started to nod off. He needed to figure out what was going on with Rita Skeeter. He needed to get better. He needed to break things off with Tom and hope the man wouldn't take it too badly. These were the things that were standing in the way of starting over with Severus. It was definitely something to work towards, he mused as he finally drifted off with Severus sat at his side.

A/N: I hope you liked it. Also this isn't the last chapter, I'm kind of afraid I might have given that impression! Thanks for reading and reviewing!