King Of May
She sits up in bed. She feels much better now. The nauseousness has gone.
She was the one who looked away first. He didn't answer her question. His eyes were too beautiful and too intense.
So it's true. They were—or had been—lovers. They were not committed to each other. Somehow, somewhen, along the path, she chose Joe, instead.
Why? She wants to ask. What happened? What had changed? The sleek black shirt feels soft and comfortable against her skin. She stares at his gun. She never likes guns. She's against violence. A lot of things had happened. A lot of mistakes were made. And she feels like she doesn't know herself. Not anymore. And suddenly she's at a loss. What to think. What to ask. What to know. What to do next. She wished she could stay in bed all day. But she's not a child anymore and the bed isn't exactly heavenly comfortable. It's probably too narrow for the both of them...
Desire. Unexpected desires. She wants to feel those lips. She wants to feel those abs. He's the secret no one told her about. Like the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. One small bite and everything will change. The fruit of knowledge. The power of the dark side. She has to go home for dinner. Her mother will be worried. She needs to piece her life back. She has to let go of unwanted things. Her job. Her life. Her apartment. Her shoes. Her clothes. Her car. She was told she's very good at blowing up things.
She looks up at the beautiful man and tries her best to remember. One small thing. One meaningful thing. One meaningless thing. Anything. Something.
Her memory is blank. She feels helpless. Maybe she should smack her head. Maybe she should tear at her hair. What's his name? Why is he here? Why does he look at her like this. Like he has nothing to say. Like he has something to say. Like he's happy. Like he's sad.
She looks up at him. She doesn't realize she's crying. Her tears fall silently. Her eyes are wide. Her curls are wild. She looks younger than she actually is. He walks toward her. He places a hand on her face. He wraps her in his arms. Gently. She closes her eyes. She keeps weeping. She can't tell if he feels familiar.
She wishes she could remember.
Something.
Anything.
One damn thing.
And then he kisses her. The world stops for a brief minute.