XX

Sitting in Meredith's car squished between Jackson and Alex at 6 o'clock at night heading to the nightshift all I could think about was the conversation that Jackson and I had had a few days before at Cristina's house warming party…

When I arrived, I mentioned nothing about what happened between Alex and I in the on call room a few hours prior to Jackson, as it occurred to me that it was none of his business. Sure he was my best friend but I wanted to find out about the whole Alex thing by myself. I didn't want it to become a new topic I would be lectured on. Even though I went without mentioning Alex once in the conversation, after a few beers Jackson brought it up himself.

First he rested his hand on my shoulder, shook me just a bit, looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Do you still like Alex?"

I gave no reply but I shook his hand off me and took a sip of my drink. It was then that he proceeded to give me advice on the matter, repeatedly saying that Alex was not the guy for me in any respect. I then responded by asking him about Lexie, trying to ascertain whether or not he still had a thing for her. He said nothing and went silent for a moment, then took a swig of his beer and ceased his lecturing.

Although he added one final comment in which he told me what a great guy Alex was but how he was in no way boyfriend material for me. He also said, "Don't get me wrong I like him, he's just not for you." After that he went on about how I needed to date someone who wasn't an unstable, cranky man-whore, but someone who was more like me. Which I thought was an unfair evaluation of only some of Alex's traits.

I replied to that comment with, "By that you mean someone who is also a virgin?"

Ignoring my tone he nodded, showing he agreed with me. Before taking another sip of his drink he responded, "Exactly. I can't think of any guy I know that you know that would fit this criteria."…

Meredith quickly swerved the car, which brought me back from my memories, back into reality. I opened my mouth to ask her about the cause for her reckless driving just as she tooted at the car in front of us. She then went on to yell profanity at him, while waving her arms around in the air in front of the steering wheel. Jackson, Alex and I all burst into fits of laughter over the whole event.

Jackson added, "Maybe I should drive us home then." This caused us all to erupt in a new wave of laughter, with Meredith joining in this time. The sound of Alex chuckling almost straight into my ear brought my full attention to the fact that our arms were touching.

With Alex's arm right against mine all I could think about for a few minutes were the events of the on call room last night and how he hadn't shown up at the party. At first I thought that perhaps he was avoiding me after everything that happened but then I remembered what he said about Iowa, which meant he would have been wanting to sleep and hopefully shower as the smell of car troubles still lingered on him the night before. Taking a deep breath, I discovered that he no longer smelt of gasoline and exhaust.

Turning my head towards Jackson I could almost see him watching me. He looked tired and half-asleep, which was weird as we had slept all day but he was trying to assess my feelings about Alex. Not wanting to bother with thoughts about Alex, I bent my neck and rested my head on Jackson's shoulder. At first, Jackson's body tensed slightly but it soon relaxed and I felt his head turn to stare out the window.

We were on our way to our nightshift and as Meredith turned into the hospital, we tried to wipe the yawns off our faces and cover them with smiles. Tonight, we owned the hospital. Attendings were out for the night. We were in charge. If there was a trauma, we had it. Any emergencies were ours. It was scary sure. But this was our moment. None of us wanted to screw this up. Lifting my head off Jackson's shoulder, I grabbed my bag and filed out of the car behind him. As the entrance opened in front of us I pushed all thoughts of Alex out of my head. I couldn't make a mistake tonight, not a single error, so Alex Karev could no longer control my mind.

Many hours later we were finally heading home from the nightshift at the hospital. It was not at all what any of us expected. Meredith and Alex commandeered an entire OR without Dr Stark, but to be fair he never answered his pager, so they were in the right. They couldn't just let that poor kid die, although they did perform a surgery without an attending present. Jackson had a hard night as he had two brothers, one died and the other barely survived, which explained his silence in the car ride home. The night shift was definitely a challenge, I think the attendings expected us to run rampant around the hospital but we didn't, well at least I didn't. I had successfully pushed Alex out of my mind for most of my shift. Although two love sick teenagers glued together almost sent me down that train of thought. It certainly helped that I didn't talk to him all night. I walked past him a few times, I was rushing somewhere or he was. Not exactly the best time to start an in depth conversation.

Despite Jackson's joke about driving us all home we were all sitting in the same place we had been hours ago. This time Alex and I no longer touched arms as he had his head resting on the door. He was almost asleep where he sat. He looked so tired. Resting on his lap was a pizza box. Without a word, I lifted up the lid and grabbed a slice. He opened his eyes for a second, a quick smile spread across his face and then his eyes shut again. "Thanks." I muttered as I stuffed it into my mouth.

Once we reached home, we got a few beers out of the fridge and went to sit in the lounge. I sat in by the edge of the couch, in the armchair holding my drink, not speaking, deep in thought. Beside me, Jackson and Meredith sat merrily chatting to each other about the night's catastrophes and what an ass Stark is, to which I nodded in agreement. I slowly tuned them out until I heard my name, which forced me to resurface.

"What?" Meredith exclaimed, her mouth wide open, obviously shocked.

"Huh?" I replied, unaware of what her reaction was caused by.

"She likes him." Jackson teased. I scanned the room and found that Alex wasn't here. I relaxed for a second before I realised that I may not be able to see him but that doesn't necessarily mean that he couldn't hear us.

"Shut up." I muttered.

"April!" Meredith said in a state of shock, "You didn't even try to dispute it."

"I don't!" I answered weakly, not convincing anyone, especially not myself.

"Way too late for that measly effort" Jackson added, a wide grin spreading across his face. He looked very pleased with himself.

"April, you don't want to go there." Meredith said, looking straight at me. She finished her drink and placed it on the table in front of her.

"I don't see how…" I began before Jackson cut me off.

"I told her that already." Jackson replied, his smile growing.

"You need someone, softer." Meredith remarked. Tilting her head she gazed out the window deep in thought, as if she was trying to think of other guys that would be more suitable for me.

Breaking her train of thought I blurted out, "Guess who has the hots for your sister?"

Raising her eyebrow she turned her attention to Jackson, all thoughts of Alex and I vanishing into thin air. "Jackson!" she exclaimed.

"April!" He yelled at me, with a surprised expression on his face, although almost proud. He wouldn't have expected me to bring that up, but fair was fair.

Meredith smacked him lightly on the knee and yelled, "Seriously?"

Downing my drink I mumbled, "Want another?" Before grabbing Meredith's empty bottle off the table and almost running to the kitchen. Behind me, Jackson began muttering something to Meredith no doubt about Lexie but I was no longer in hearing range.

Grabbing two beers from the fridge, I headed towards the door, hoping to find Alex on the front porch sitting on Meredith's old swing. Holding both bottles in my left hand, I used my right to the open the door and stuck my head out.

"Hey." I said nonchalantly. Turning his head towards me, the dull expression on his face vanished and a small smirk covered it. Looking down I noticed an empty bottle sitting by his feet so I as sat myself down next to him, I handed him a beer.

"Thanks." He muttered as he popped off the lid and took a sip.

"Could you?" I asked as I passed him my bottle. Popping off the lid in one swift movement, he handed it back. I chugged nearly half the bottle in one go. I decided I could use a bit of liquid courage.

"Rough day?" Alex inquired as I finally let the bottle leave my lips and let it rest on the wood beneath my feet.

"Yeah I guess." I replied, staring out onto the street. We sat in silence for a moment before I spoke again, "How come you didn't make it to Cristina's party last night?"

Shifting his eyes in my direction, he looked at me, scanned my face and then took a long sip of beer before he answered, "Wasn't in the mood I guess."

"Well you didn't…" I began before I noticed him flinch slightly as he moved his hand. Without thinking, I leant forward and grabbed his hand. Using my fingers, I unclenched his fist and examined the cut down the middle of his palm.

"How did this..." I started before I moved my eyes to his face and saw his expression change. "Are you okay?"

Pulling his hand out of mine, he jolted upwards. Downing his drink in one go, he stepped forward and leant against the fencing around the deck, turning back to face me he muttered, "Stop."

"I just..." I started.

"You're not my girlfriend, you don't need to take care of…" He yelled.

"No I'm not. So shut up." I yelled over him as I jumped up, it was easier to yell at him when he wasn't towering over me.

"But I…" he stammered, shocked by my sudden outburst.

"You think I can't take care of myself?" I yelled.

"Well, no but…" he stuttered.

"That I'm incapable of processing adult emotions. That I'm much like a child that needs to be guided, to be protected." I spoke, slowly and clearly. This was a first for me, properly, freely speaking my mind.

"April, I…" he began.

"I am not just a virgin. I am a doctor. I am a woman. I am a…" I continued ranting.

"Ok I get it!" He exclaimed.

Taking a step towards him, I continued in a softer tone, "So let me help you."

Only inches from his face I bent my head and picked up his hand with both of mine. "Now what the hell did you do?" I asked as I ran my finger along the scar.

He gave no verbal reply, only winced slightly.

"It's not deep, which means it doesn't need stitches but you should bandage it up anyway." I remarked looking up at him again. "I'll go grab one."

Heading towards the door, I took a step forward before her grabbed my hand and whirled me around to face him.

"What?" I mumbled as I tried to read the expression across his face.

Giving no reply, he placed one hand onto my lower back and with the other he brushed the hair off my face. I watched him lean towards me and then I shut my eyes and leant towards him.

I could feel his breath on my face and I could feel him hesitate for a moment. "April?" he whispered.

Losing all patience, I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled him into me, kissing him passionately on the lips. I had been waiting for this for days. It was everything I imagined it to be. For a moment, he paused but then he reciprocated, kissing me back and pulling him tightly towards him.

XX