Disclaimer: I have some very bad news. I'm not sure how I'm going to say this...just...try to remain calm...here goes... I-I don't own Inuyasha. Don't freak! It's okay! I know you're all surprised, but somehow we'll get through this, okay? Just...just hang on...we'll get you help...
A/N I'm baaack! Thanks to all of you who went to check out my new fic, In the Shadows!
Heh, heh, heh...thanks for the reminder, Calum...heh, heh, heh...
And Fiery Love, I'm not sure exactly by what method, but SOMEHOW we've got to get you past this Ayame thing... I mean, you're hating all of her actions and what she says and does based on which character she is. Heck, for all I know, she's completely OOC. I've never seen her in the show before, as I think I mentioned previously. Which means that in this fic, she's a completely different character. So don't imagine her as the Ayame you hate, but as the Ayame I've created. Hate the first one all you like, but PLEASE don't hate mine. -pout- I happen to like her...
Alrighty, citizens, Super Ceech saves the day once again with another chapter!
..:V:..
"And then he got the chair!" Kouga explained.
"If you hadn't have ducked!" Miroku moaned as Sango pressed a cold compress to a bruise on his face.
"Well, sooooorry for not wanting to get smacked in the face with a wooden chair!" Kouga protested as Ayame inspected him as he lay on the couch not being occupied by Miroku. "After all, I thought being half-strangled to death with YOUR nightie was punishment enough for me!"
"No, I was throttled with that stupid feather boa instead!" Miroku practically shouted.
"Did you see my precious hair?!" Kouga demanded. "Highlights! Yellow highlights!!!"
"It was only temporary," Inuyasha defended himself from the corner in which he was standing.
"How did you happen to have hair dye with you, anyway?" Kagome asked him as she stood next to him.
Inuyasha grinned maliciously. "I took a quick trip out to the store. I came prepared."
"Ah. Good thinking," said Kagome as they turned back to the scene before them.
"He shoved my head in the dirty vacuum cleaner bag!" Miroku yelled.
"Why do you guys have a vacuum cleaner in here?" Sango wondered. "Don't the cleaning ladies usually come, clean, and then leave WITH their cleaning supplies?"
Inuyasha shrugged. "She just happened to leave it behind, to my great advantage." He smirked evilly.
"Ah. That would explain it," Sango said, turning back to the arguing and injured boys.
"Your head wasn't held for fifteen minutes straight under freezing cold water!" Kouga was accusing Miroku.
"You weren't assaulted with the fire poker!" Miroku protested.
"Why do you guys get a fireplace, anyways?" Ayame pouted. "We don't have one..."
Ignoring Ayame, Kouga continued ranting, "Well, you weren't sat on for two hours, being made to watch the cooking channel! Oh, the horror...!"
Miroku was about to yell something back when he paused. "No...no...that's true...I wasn't...you've got a point there..."
"Wow, Inuyasha," Sango said, amazed. "You really let 'em have it."
Inuyasha shrugged. "That's what they get for spying on me."
"During a most intimate moment," Ayame said playfully.
Inuyasha gave her a death glare. "What did you say? Are you trying to get at something, Ayame?"
Ayame looked furtively around before pointing to herself. "Who me? Ha, ha, you must be joking! I didn't say ANYTHING nor did I try to get at something...you believe me, right? Please don't hurt me!"
Inuyasha smirked. "Being sadistic and evil has a lot of benefits, doesn't it, Kagome?"
Kagome nodded fervently. "Oh, yes... So much control..." She looked meaningfully at her two friends.
Sango and Ayame let out soft "eeps" before turning back to the injured boys on the couches.
"Well, Kagome," Inuyasha said, turning to her. "It doesn't look like these wimps are going to get up any time soon, so how about you and I hit the slopes?"
Kagome smiled at him. "Sure!" Turning back to the others, she called, "See ya later!" as she left with Inuyasha out the door.
"Whew, glad they're gone," Miroku said as he attempted to sit up. Sango immediately pushed him back down, a concerned expression on her face.
"Oh, no you don't," she said. "You're going to make sure that you're completely better before you get up."
"I assure you, Sango, I'm perfectly fine," Miroku said earnestly. "Inuyasha knows not to hit us TOO hard...otherwise he wouldn't have anyone to ski with for a week."
"Yeah," Kouga agreed as he sat up with Ayame's help. "And plus, the competition is fast approaching so he wouldn't endanger my chances in any way."
"I guess..." said Sango doubtfully.
A sly look crossed Ayame's features. "Well...maybe he hurt you just enough so you would be delayed skiing for the morning. I mean, come on...he can't be TOO concerned about wanting you as skiing partners...after all, it seems he's GOT a skiing partner..."
"Yeah..." Miroku said, adopting the same sly look. "Kagome. I think there's something going on between those two..."
Everyone nodded fervently in agreement.
"You know...they make a really cute couple..." Sango said, finally allowing Miroku to sit up with her help.
"It'd be a shame if they didn't hook up..." Kouga said.
"BIG shame..." Ayame continued, thinking furiously.
"Hmm..." the four friends said together, lost in thought.
..:V:..
"Wow, this is an awesome day for skiing!" Kagome exclaimed, breathing in the fresh air.
"Yeah...it really is," Inuyasha agreed. "Just perfect."
They were currently riding a chairlift and observing all of the people skiing below them.
"I think we got satisfactory revenge, don't you?" Kagome asked, grinning at the boy next to her.
"Yeah...it wasn't too bad," Inuyasha said thoughtfully. Then he grinned too. "Did you see the way Sango and Ayame were fawning over Miroku and Kouga.
"Yeah..." Kagome said dreamily. "Sango and Miroku, and Ayame and Kouga make such great couples..."
"It be a shame if they didn't hook up..." Inuyasha said suggestively.
"BIG shame..." Kagome said thoughtfully.
"Hmm..." the two said together, thinking of all the possibilities.
Once they got to the top of the chairlift, they disembarked and began looking for a good hill to ski down to warm themselves up. Looking around, Kagome spotted numerous skiers sporting hats almost identical to the one Inuyasha was wearing the previous day; toques with fluffy dog ears perched on the top.
Kagome giggled and pointed it out to Inuyasha. "Look! It looks as if you've set a fashion statement!"
Inuyasha looked over and rolled his eyes. "Dorks. They see me wearing an article of clothing ONCE and they immediately think they'll be cool if they get one too?! Yeesh..."
"Yeah, really," Kagome agreed. "It's just so..." she trailed off as she caught sight of a few individuals holding poles that had swirling candy cane-stripes plastered on to them. They looked identical to how her poles had been the day before with streamers wrapped around each one. Kagome gawked as Inuyasha chuckled.
"Looks like you're developing some fame yourself," he said as he nudged her.
Kagome glared playfully. "And it's all thanks to you, too...always getting me into trouble..."
"Hey!" Inuyasha protested. "I don't always get you into trouble; you get yourself into trouble! I mean, what about when you got that food poisoning and fell down that hill that was being groomed? I didn't have anything to do with that, and I even saved your hind!"
"Hmph...touché..." Kagome mumbled. "But you can't deny you have gotten me into trouble; I mean, what about those snowboarders?"
"Well, I-"
"Inuyasha!"
"Huh?" Kagome and Inuyasha turned to see Myouga skiing furiously towards them.
"Oh, crap," Inuyasha muttered.
"Inuyasha!" Myouga shouted angrily. "Where have you been, young man?! You have been avoiding me for a week now and I don't appreciate it! Do you want to win this competition or not?!"
"Yeah..." Inuyasha muttered.
"Then why haven't you been training with me?!" Myouga yelled. "Do you think you'll win by goofing off and never doing any real training?!"
"Umm...yes?" Inuyasha said.
Myouga glared at his charge. "Wrong! We're going to train for the rest of the intervening time until the competition and you will just have to leave your girlfriend here!"
"She's not my-!"
"COME, Inuyasha!" Myouga said, tugging on the racer's sleeve. "Aside from training, there's something we direly need to discuss!"
Inuyasha, his patience worn thin, glanced at Kagome briefly before shouting, "Ski!" With that, he took off and Kagome hastened to follow him. Myouga attempted to catch up, but, in the end, wasn't fast enough. Inuyasha and Kagome made good their retreat as they went screaming down a hill and out of sight of the enraged instructor.
"Whew! That was a close one!" Inuyasha said as they stopped halfway down the mountain to hop on a new chairlift.
"Uh, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked timidly. "Shouldn't you actually just go with Myouga and train? The competition IS coming up and we've distracted you all week... I feel really bad..."
"Hey, don't worry about it!" Inuyasha said casually. "I train every time I go down a hill and the on the few nights that we haven't spent with you guys, Kouga and I have been going night skiing to train. Myouga doesn't know what he's talking about."
"Oh...okay!" Kagome said, somewhat cheered by this bit of information. "Let's just...kinda avoid him then..."
"I agree," Inuyasha said as they skied forward with another skier to board the chairlift.
The skier boarding with them had their hood pulled securely over their head and nothing about their appearance was revealed. Partway through the chairlift ride, the mysterious skier spoke up.
"Hello, Inuyasha..."
Inuyasha, who was sitting on the other side of the chairlift, stiffened noticeably. Kagome, who was sitting between the two, looked back and forth between them before asking the stranger, "Um, excuse me? Who are you...exactly?"
The stranger, obviously a female by the tone of her voice, turned to Kagome. In an eerie voice, almost as if she were desperately trying to restrain herself, she said, "Hi. My name's Jodi."
"Umm...hello..." Kagome said, somewhat uncertainly. "Do you know Inuyasha or something...?"
"Know him?" the girl laughed in a voice that suggested she wasn't quite sane. "I'm going to bear his children!"
"Gah! Get away from me, you psycho chick!" Inuyasha burst out and scooted as far as he could to the other end of the chairlift.
The girl, Jodi, flung off her hood and Inuyasha and Kagome gasped. She was about the same age as Kagome, but her hair was bleached white and her eyes were a shimmering gold. Inuyasha gaped for a moment before exclaiming, "What the hell did you do to yourself?!"
Jodi looked at Inuyasha with a hungry glint in her eyes, as if she'd been separated from a vital source of survival for much too long. "Inuyasha honey! Isn't it great?! We were meant to be! I dyed my hair and got golden contacts so I could be just like you!!!"
"Uhhh..." Kagome said blankly. "That's creepy."
"Please stay away from me..." Inuyasha said in a small voice that indicated how much she was freaking him out.
"Inuyasha, take me; I'm yours!" Jodi proclaimed before launching at him. Unfortunately for Kagome, Jodi ended up sprawled across her lap, reaching her hands out towards you not?" Kagome asked, looking down at the seemingly mentally disturbed girl invading her personal air bubble.
"Inuyasha, darling; look, look!" Jodi exclaimed as she yanked off her two gloves and shoved her hands out towards him. From left to right, the name INUYASHA was painted across Jodi's fingernails, and two hearts resided on her thumbnails.
A small whimper emitted from Inuyasha's throat and Kagome could have sworn it sounded just like one a dog would make.
"Well...that's quite the artwork..." Kagome said, trying to pushing Jodi back to her original seating. "But you might want to gear down with it...kinda freaky..."
"I thought you were in jail..." Inuyasha said in a fearful voice.
Kagome looked at the girl speculatively for a moment before realization dawned on her. "Hey! Is she that stalker you were talking about before, Inuyasha? The one who was in jail because she disobeyed the restraining order?"
"It's okay, Inu-kins!" Jodi shouted happily. She tried to reach towards him, but Kagome pushed her back. "I stayed in that nasty place three months, but I would happily spend three years in it just for one stroke of your silky silver tresses!"
"Wow..." Kagome said uncomfortably. "You're quite the obsessive fangirl, aren't you?"
"Inuyasha, my love, your very face inflames my desire and quickens my heartbeat!" Jodi said whimsically.
"And apparently, a very bad poet..." Kagome continued.
"I had your face imprinted on every article of clothing I possess! Even my underwear!" Jodi said gleefully.
Inuyasha cringed and looked at her in horror. "Please tell me you did not just say that..."
"I suggest covering your ears, Inuyasha," Kagome advised him. "Or else you'll be traumatized for the rest of your life!"
"I already am..." Inuyasha mumbled.
"I have InuJodi=4ever tattooed on my butt!" Jodi exclaimed loudly. A few heads turned from other chairlifts.
Inuyasha whimpered and shrank back into his side of the chairlift.
"Eww!!!" Kagome said in disgust, pushing Jodi back as far as she could. "That's just disgusting!"
"We will be together forever, Inu-muffin!" Jodi continued on. "And I will bear your children, and they'll be called Jason, Mark, Inuyasha Jr., Jessica, Tiffany, Jodi Jr., Brian, Nanaimo, Gerta, Inujodi, Trevor, Heather, Yashi, Keith, Poppy, Inodi-"
"Oh, look!" Kagome broke in through Jodi's never-ending naming session. "It's time to get off!" She flung off the restraining bar and grabbed Inuyasha before almost leaping out of the chairlift and out of the unloading bay.
"W-wait! Come back, Inu-cupcake!" Jodi shouted after them. "I'm learning to ski just for yo-oomph!" Kagome looked briefly back in time to see Jodi trip over her own skis and fall to the ground.
"Now's our chance!" Kagome said to Inuyasha. "Let's get the heck out of here!"
"That was one of the scariest moments of my entire life..." Inuyasha whimpered, only half-concentrating on his skiing.
"Come on, Inuyasha; snap out of it!" Kagome said, turning her head in order to look at him. "Don't think about it! If you don't want it to happen again, I suggest you focus and get out of here with me!"
The thought of repeating that experience brought Inuyasha abruptly back to himself and he increased his speed tenfold in order to make it to the nearest hill. He and Kagome sped down the mountain with record speed and stopped near a nearby chairlift. As they were contemplating whether or not it was safe to ascend, a familiar figure approached them.
"Higurashi! Wanna ski with me again?"
"Oh...! Ho...jo... How nice to see you again..." Kagome said a bit forcefully. She could feel Inuyasha tense beside her.
"It's sure nice to see you again too, Higurashi!" Hojo said cheerfully. "So, do you want to hit the slopes together?"
"Um...well...naturally I would...but...um...you see..." Kagome trailed off helplessly.
"She's completely freezing and we're going into the lodge so I can buy her a hot chocolate," Inuyasha inserted, a hard edge to his voice.
"Yeah!" Kagome said quickly. "What he said! I'm freezing...brrr!" She quickly let out a few phoney shivers. "Love to, but gotta go!"
Kagome and Inuyasha dashed off for the lodge, but were disappointed when Hojo started trailing behind, obviously not given up hope. "I'll come with you!" he called.
Kagome rolled her eyes but removed her skis and poles and layed them against the rack with Inuyasha's. Together, they trooped into the ski lodge.
"Oh, my god, there he is!"
"He's sooo cool!"
"Go on, go up and say something to him!"
High-pitched giggles met Inuyasha and Kagome's ears almost as soon as they stepped into the lodge. They cringed and looked over towards the source. A group of girls were sitting around a table pointing and giggling at Inuyasha. The group included the girls who had been giggling over him the day before and wanting to get hats to match his. And sure enough, every single girl at the table had a hat identical to the one he had been wearing the previous day.
"This is a nightmare!" Inuyasha muttered.
As one, the gossiping girls stood up from their table and began advancing towards the pair by the doors.
"You know...?" Kagome said in a low voice to Inuyasha. "Suddenly that hot chocolate doesn't seem like so much of a big deal..."
"I agree," Inuyasha said hastily. "Suddenly I have an urge for fresh air and...breathing room!" he shouted as they turned tail and fled from the oncoming fangirls.
"Come baack, Inuyasha! I want to go on a date with you!" a random fangirl shouted as they all took chase.
Kagome and Inuyasha burst out of the lodge doors and flew past a befuddled Hojo who had just been about to enter.
"Higurashi, I-"
"No time now, Hojo! Gotta go!" Kagome shouted as she and Inuyasha grabbed their skis from the rack and practically jumped into them. They grabbed their poles and headed for the nearest chairlift, but quickly stopped dead in their tracks.
"There are two of those stupid punks! Get them!"
"Eek!" Kagome screeched as all of the snowboarders they'd aggravated before came out of the chairlift line and started towards them.
"Shouldn't you guys be off lighting up somewhere?" Inuyasha asked disdainfully.
"Why you...! Get that twerp!" the leader with the long, dark braid yelled.
"Inuyasha, this is a demonstration of what I was talking about earlier!" Kagome said, clutching his arm. "You know? About how you keep getting me into trouble?!"
"Yeah, well...they would've come after us anyway!" Inuyasha protested.
"No time to bicker!" Kagome said. "They're coming at us from both sides! Where can we go to escape?!"
Inuyasha looked hastily from the approaching fangirls blocking the lodge to the charging snowboarders barring the path to the chairlift. "Uhhh...the condo! It's our only hope!"
"Right!" Kagome agreed and they shot off for their destination with everyone else following behind.
As they neared it, however, they saw a small crowd gathered and heard a lot of shouting. When they reached the crowd, they stopped as fast as they could and desperately tried to escape without notice. This, however, was not meant to be.
"Inuyasha! Where do you get your hair done?!"
"Where do you get your nails done?"
"What is your favourite chocolate bar?"
"What do you wear? Boxers or briefs?"
"How do you sleep? Pajamas or all natural?"
"GAH!" Inuyasha exclaimed. "What is WRONG with you people?!"
"Inuyasha! Heeelp!!!"
"Huh?"
Inuyasha and Kagome looked into the crowd and saw Kouga, Miroku, Ayame and Sango struggling to get through and reach them.
"Help! Inuyasha! Kagome! Help us get away from these psychos!" Sango shouted as she and the others finally successfully broke free from the sea of reporters.
"You're not going to get much help from us!" Kagome said. "We're on the run!" She pointed behind herself and the others gaped at the people who were chasing them.
"Then let's move it!" Miroku shouted, all animosity between him and Inuyasha forgotten.
The enlarged group turned and started skating furiously for the gondola, which seemed to be their only escape route. As they reached it, however, a very peeved Myouga stepped out of one of the gondolas that had just descended. When he spotted his students, he snapped, "Inuyasha! Kouga! I'm VERY disappointed in the two of you! And didn't I tell you, Inuyasha, that I have something to discuss wit-"
"No time now, coach!" Kouga yelled as the six changed routes and breezed on by him.
"Are we gaining time on them?" Kagome asked. "'Cause my legs are really starting to burn!"
"I'd carry you," Inuyasha shouted back, "but I'm afraid it'd be a little awkward...!"
"I think we've got a little time on them, since we've got skis on and they're only on their feet. Still...it's pretty close. No time to stop!"
"I hate my life right now," Kagome said hopelessly as they continued skiing around the mountain.
"INU-BUNS!!!" an annoyingly familiar voice squealed.
The six friends turned their heads to see Jodi running down the end of a hill, her skis flung over one shoulder and her poles held in her opposite hand. She'd obviously had no more luck skiing than she had been having at the top of the mountain.
"Jodi's back?!" Miroku and Kouga asked in disbelief.
"Unfortunately..." Inuyasha said as he tried to ignore her.
"Inu-puppy, I've been looking all over for you!" Jodi giggled joyfully as she ran after the fleeing friends, seconds before the mob that was following them.
"This day just gets better and better..." Ayame muttered.
"You're telling me..." Kouga agreed. "This is certainly ONE way of warming up, but not one I would prefer..."
"Just keep skiing!" Sango snapped. "We...must...go...faster!" she said as she pumped her legs as much as she could.
"Great..." Kagome said dryly as they continued skiing around the mountain. "This is just perfect. I mean, now all we need is for Naraku to show up..."
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"
As if she had summoned him, they saw that Naraku was coming down a hill in front of them and stopped just short of their group.
"Spoke too soon..." Kagome muttered angrily at herself.
Ayame looked at him for a split second before shuddering and saying, "Ugh! Horrible mental image!"
"More like horrible memory!" Sango said. "I'll never be able to look at that boy the same way again!"
"Split!" Kouga shouted and everyone quickly split off to each side and skied around Naraku.
"Hey!" the boy shouted after them. "Come back here! I'm not finished with you yet!"
"We'll take a rain check!" Miroku shouted back.
Looking back, Inuyasha noticed that Naraku joined the ranks of the mob behind them. "This is insane..." he said.
"Hiten, we can't let them get away!"
"Kouga, will you pose for the cover of Teen Fashion?!"
"Inuyasha, can I have your autograph?!"
"Kouga and Inuyasha! Get back here right now! We need to train!"
"Inuyasha, I want our eighteenth child to be named Winifred!"
"I will win the upcoming competition, you amateurs!"
"Oh, my god, Kouga, will you go out with me?!"
"Do you wear jock straps while racing?"
"I need to discuss something VERY important with you, Inuyasha! Stop skiing away!"
"And our twenty-fifth child will be named Jodyasha!"
"You have nothing on me, Inuyasha! I'll leave you behind in my snow!"
"Nazuna, speed up! We'll never catch up to them like this!"
"Miroku, can I have lock of your hair?!"
"You two get back here! You'll never win the competition the way you're acting!"
"They won't win the competition at all! I will!"
"I want my wedding dress to be a dazzling pearl white!"
"You skiing scum! We'll get you yet!"
"And I'll have fifteen bridesmaids!"
"Kagome Higurashi! Are you or are you not officially dating Inuyasha Dareshi?!"
"Your chances of winning this race are zero!"
"INUYASHA! This is of dire importance! We must talk now!"
"Kouga, will you sign my butt?!"
"When we catch up with you, you're gonna regret the day you ever insulted us!"
"Miroku, is it true your favourite television show is the Teletubbies?!"
"Holy crap!" exclaimed Inuyasha. "Nothing short of a miracle is going to get us out of this mess!"
"BROTHER!!!"
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"
Right in front of the six runaways was Sesshoumaru. He was standing calmly, directly in their path, and Rin and Jaken were off to the side. All six tried desperately to stop in time to avoid hitting him and as they did so, massive amounts of snow flew up and completely covered the famous ice dancer. The humongous crowd following behind also stopped at the sight of this new development.
Sesshoumaru slowly raised a hand and wiped off a few of the snowflakes that were covering his face. In a dry voice, he said, "Nice to see you too...Brother."
..:V:..
A/N I'm done! So sorry about the delay guys, but I hope this eight-page whopper makes up for it. Everybody was in it! And Sesshy's back! Heh, heh, heh...
Okay, I'll be gone up to my cottage all of next week, so I don't know if I'll be able to write at all; we're having a family get together and it's going to be so much fun! But, yeah...but I shouldn't be delayed too long, so don't worry; just thought I'd give you a heads up.
Now I know you're all dying to rush off and paint your nails like Jodi's so I'll just leave you with this thought: Every one out of four people in this world are mentally disturbed. Check three friends. If they're okay, you're it. Ciao for now!