AN: Doctor Who and all recognizable characters are the sole property of BBC. I have simply taken them out to play with them. No copyright infringement intended.

Finding His Reason

by WhisperingWolf

Chapter One

End of the World

She had yelled at him. For some reason that was all she could think about as she watched him move around the console room flipping switches and turning the dials. She had yelled at him for taking her to the end of the Earth, for showing her a life beyond what she had ever thought existed, and she had blamed him because she hadn't thought to say no. It wasn't his fault. It had been her choice to go and even after nearly dying she still didn't regret it, but she was scared. She was scared of him, but even more scared of herself. He had excited her, thrilled her, made her feel alive, and she had just gone with him. She had left Mickey and her mother behind and gone with him.

This was different, she told herself as she fought against memories that she never wanted to hold onto, a time in her life that she wanted nothing more than to forget. He had a leather jacket yes, but it was a nice leather jacket, if not a bit worn. It was a clean leather jacket, a style that made him look elegant and strong at the same time. It wasn't like his – like Jimmy's. There were no frills, or cheap decorations to make it look rougher and biker chic. He wasn't anything like Jimmy, and despite what she had seen him do with Cassandra, the Doctor made her feel safe. He had shown her something frightening and amazing and she had yelled at him.

Rose

The sound of his voice calling her name echoed in her mind and she was pulled back to the moment that she had banged on the door with all her might just to get out. He had called out to her and though she hadn't been able to see him, or get to him she had known that he wouldn't leave her to die in that room. He fought for her, fought for everyone on board just so that they could live and she had yelled at him. She could hear it again, his voice speaking her name and frowned deeply, feeling horrible for the way that she had treated him, and even if they had made up short moments later, the memory of it still weighed down on her. Lips pursing in confusion as she became aware of a cool touch against her cheek, she blinked quickly and felt her dry eyes sting as they watered.

"Rose," The Doctor spoke her name again as he remained in front of her, cupping her cheek in his palm.

She blinked again, gasping and jumping back against the seat when she found his face so close to hers, only to grimace at the pain radiating across her lower back from the movement. His thumb brushed over the curve of her cheekbone as he listened to her racing heart, and waited quietly for her to calm. His blue eyes watched her closely; worry tugging at his mind as he studied her. He had begun talking to her moments after taking the TARDIS into the time rift and turned to face her when she hadn't responded. When he had found her staring at the console with her eyes unfocused he had gone to her immediately.

"There you are," The Doctor said as he met her gaze. "You hurt?" he asked, and watched her frown in confusion.

"Wha'?" Rose asked, the word barely audible as she looked at him with slow confusion, her mind unable to grasp his question.

"So stupid, you were in that room and I never even asked if you got burned," he said as he watched her, blaming himself for her near death.

"Burned?" Rose asked, her mind picking up only pieces of what he was saying as she listened to his voice, but unable to make sense of it overall.

"Rose?" The Doctor felt his concern increase, his twin hearts beating a rapid staccato in his chest as he brought his other hand up to frame her face between his palms. "Look at me."

"I yelled at you," Rose said, her words spoken softly and he realized then that she wasn't truly paying attention to anything.

"Lucky for you 'Doctor's more than just a name," he said as he moved, and slid his arms around her back and behind her knees. "Got a full medical bay an' everything."

Lifting her from the jump seat, he carried her through the console room and down the hall deeper into the TARDIS. He continued talking to her, unsure of whether it was because of his own concern, or his need to keep her anchored, but he kept on. It didn't take him long to reach the medical bay, the TARDIS having moved the room closer for him, and he watched as the ship followed his unspoken command, the door opening for him. Stepping inside, he set her down on the bed and reached for his sonic screwdriver. Adjusting the settings for a medical scan, he pressed the button and ran it over her slowly, making one sweep and then another before bringing it up for him to read.

"You've got a bit of a burn on your back," he told her. "Nothing too bad, just a contact burn. Don't worry though; I'll get it taken care of for you right quick."

"Doctor?" Rose spoke softly with confusion, watching as he took her hands and pulled her slowly up until she was sitting properly. "Where are we?"

"In the Time Rift for now," he told her as he moved to the counter to her right and opened one of the white drawers.

"This is a Time Rift?" she asked as she looked around the room. "Is that what you lot call it?"

"What?" The Doctor turned back to her with a deep frown, his blue eyes staring at her as though she'd gone mad before his eyes widened in understanding. "No, we're still on the TARDIS. This is the medical bay."

"Medical?" she asked as he returned to her side, and grabbed her shirt as he began to lift it. "Oi! What's the big idea?"

"I actually am a doctor, you know," he told her with a touch of annoyance, and tugged the back of her shirt up again. "You've got a bit of a burn on your back. Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?" he asked as he pressed a button, and ran the laser of a dermal regenerator over her reddened skin.

"I . . . I don't know," Rose said, and frowned as he lowered her shirt back into place. "Guess with everything else, I didn't really feel it."

"Adrenaline and endorphins," he told her as he pulled a rolling chair closer and sat down. "You got lost on me," he said, his lips bending down in a worried frown as his brows drew together.

"I was just thinking," she told him, breaking eye contact and shaking her head a bit as she looked down.

"I know you must have been scared, Rose, but I won't let anything hurt you." She was going to leave him, if her continuing silence was anything to go by.

"I got scared," she said, and shook her head.

She hadn't meant to say that, hadn't meant to tell him. She wasn't scared of him, truly she wasn't, but there were parallels between her past and this . . . present? Future? She wasn't even certain she knew how to describe it. She turned her eyes back to him when he remained quiet and bit the edge of her lip as she reached out her hand to touch his face. His blue eyes met hers, and though she never said the words, he understood that she wasn't afraid of him. It would be so easy, he thought, he could touch his hands to her face. He could just press his fingertips to her temples and step into her mind, but with the reaction she'd had to the TARDIS' telepathic field translating alien languages for her, he didn't dare.

"Hold on," Rose said, and looked around in confusion. "Did you say we're in a Time Rift?"

"The Time Rift, actually," he told her with a wide grin. "There's only one. The TARDIS just needs to power up a little, and then we can go home. Your mum won't even have time to notice you've been gone."

"What's it look like?" she asked, and watched his eyes widen as though he were about to share something truly amazing with her.

"Do you want to see?" The Doctor asked, and hopped up from his chair. "Come on, Rose Tyler," he said, and held out his hand for her to take. "Come take a look at the Time Rift."

She laughed a bit when he tugged her off of the stark white bed and led her into a long hallway. Their hands remained joined as he led her back through the console room and down the ramp to the door of the TARDIS. Cautioning her to stay close to him, he opened the door and looked over his shoulder at her when she stumbled back away from him. She had expected the air to rush out, for them both to be sucked into space, but instead all she felt was warmth.

"I extended the oxygen barrier around the TARDIS," he told her with a cheeky grin, and tugged her closer. "You can breathe easily and are safe to look out, just let me know if you want to go outside so I can hold on to you. Don't want you floating off."

"That's the Time Rift?" Rose nodded to the world outside the open doors as she stared in wide-eyed wonder.

"Yes," he nodded once, and watched her as she stepped closer.

Her lips moved, but no sound came from her as she stepped up to The Doctor's side, and then around him to stand in front. He placed his hands gently on her hips, holding her in place where she stood on the edge of the open door. The Doctor felt the hum from the TARDIS in his mind as he looked out upon the Rift. His ship was happy, his beautiful ship that had barely given him any indication that she even noticed his other companions was happy, and he could only think that it was because of Rose. She nudged against his mind again without speaking, the feel of the emotions she projected both approving and welcoming, and he knew then that he was correct.

"It's so beautiful," Rose whispered as she tipped her head back to glance up at The Doctor before returning her attention the Rift. "It's like I can feel it, like I could reach out and touch it," she said softly as she lifted her arm out, only for him to catch her hand and rub his thumb over her knuckles.

"Best not," he warned gently, and held her as he stepped closer to wrap his arm around her waist comfortably.

She stared at the world outside the TARDIS, the darkness of space bleeding into a color that she could only think of to describe of as royal purple. Ribbons of energy seemed to be whipping about and crackling along the edges where the purple of space met the shining silver and iridescent green of the Rift. She gasped as the colors changed, the green bleeding into a shimmering red before changing back into green and finally into white. The colors shifted in turn again, one after the other, and when she closed her eyes she could feel the energy against her face. Her full lips parted as she leaned back against The Doctor and tipped her head as she adjusted to a sound that she could almost hear.

"Is it . . . Is it . . . singing?" Rose asked as she opened her eyes, and looked up to meet The Doctor's gaze.

"You can hear that?" he asked her as a smile spread across his face.

"Almost," Rose said as she frowned in wonder. "It's like . . . I don't know exactly. It sounds like when someone's playing water glasses or . . . have you ever heard someone take a hand saw and play it like a violin?"

"Rose Tyler!" The Doctor cheered with a laugh. "You can hear the Rift! Fantastic!"

"Am I not supposed to?" she asked him with a confused laugh.

"Most other species can't and I've not met a human – well aside from you – who can," he told her. "It's the energy of the Rift rubbing against itself. That's the sound you're hearing."

"It's beautiful," Rose told him with wonder as she returned her gaze to the Rift. "It reminds me of whales. Mum took me once when I was young. We went on cruise one summer and I heard the whales sing. Humpbacks I think they were, I don't clearly remember, but it sounds so similar."

He wrapped his arms around her waist as he looked out at the Rift and listened to the bands of time and space rubbing against each other. Rose was right; he thought with a smile, it did sound a bit like a whale's song. He was amazed by her, constantly and completely amazed. She hadn't screamed, not really. She'd been afraid at times certainly, yelled at him a bit and even slapped his arm once, but she hadn't screamed, or run away. It took him a few moments to realize that she had fallen asleep in his arms, and he lifted her to cradle her against his chest as he walked back up the ramp, the door of the TARDIS closing behind him.

Setting her down on the jump seat, he checked the power levels of the TARDIS and found that they were able to leave the Rift at any time. Full power once again, he noted with a smile and looked back at his sleeping human companion. She was beautiful and young and he knew that he should take her home and leave her to live out her life safely in her world, but he couldn't let her go. She could hear the Rift. That was something unique, something completely special, and he frowned as he looked up at the ceiling.

"Did you do that?" he asked the TARDIS, and felt her amusement in return.

"It wasn't my doing. She heard the Rift on her own," the TARDIS answered him inside his mind, and he grinned as he turned his eyes on Rose.

"She could hear the Rift on her own," he repeated and laughed. "Rose Tyler, however did I find you?"

Moving around the console as he put in the coordinates for London, setting the date and year for the morning after he'd left with her, he listened with a smile to the familiar sound of his ship in flight. The TARDIS landed with a slight bounce, but Rose remained asleep, and The Doctor stepped over to the jump seat that was just big enough for two. Shrugging out of his jacket as he sat next to her, he covered her with the leather coat and put his arm around her. His lips tugged up at the corner when she moved in her sleep, breathing in deeply and snuggling into his side. There was no thought to his actions as his hand moved to her hair and began toying gently with the blonde locks.

Tipping his head to the side, he rested his cheek on her hair and looked at his TARDIS. What was it about this girl, this one human girl that felt so important to him? He'd had so many companions over his nine hundred years, but something about Rose Tyler felt too important to lose. His eyes closed though he didn't sleep, his physiology requiring him to only need one night of sleep every five days, and only four, or six hours at the most. The only time he slept more than that was after having regenerated. It was the one time that he would sleep for eight, or more hours every night for a week, or more depending on how taxing the cycle was.

He could feel the time pass, the seconds and minutes tick by as they turned into hours. It was the curse of the Time Lords. Unlike any other species, they felt time down to the fraction of a second and could never stand still for very long. Well at least he couldn't. He had to move, had to wander and explore. He was always running, always traveling, but now he sat here in his TARDIS going nowhere, and simply holding a human as she slept against his side. He couldn't remember doing this with any of his other companions, but he couldn't imagine letting Rose go, or being anywhere else.

She belongs to me, too, the TARDIS answered The Doctor's thoughts, whispering to herself as she watched over her Time Lord and his human.

He barely knew her and he already felt this attached. What was he going to do when she woke up? He was certain that she would want to go home now. After all that she had been through with the living plastic, and then on Platform One when she bore witness to the end of the Earth. He frowned as he tipped his head down and looked at the grating of the floor. Why would she want to stay with him when he had proven to her more than once how dangerous it was to be near him? It was twice now in as many days that she had nearly been killed, and it was all because of knowing him.

"Doctor?"

He looked down when Rose spoke, his name mumbled, and gave a soft breath of amusement when he found her to still be sleeping. So Rose Tyler talked in her sleep, did she? Petting her hair, he spoke to her softly, and assured her that he was still there beside her. He wasn't going anywhere, he told her and listened to the soft hum she gave as she quieted down and drifted into a deeper sleep. Closing his eyes as he held her, he focused his senses on her and listened to the steady slow thrumming of her single heart.

One heart, he thought as he listened to the soothing repetition of her pulse. Humans only had the one heart, but they were far more passionate than his species ever were and Gallifreyans had two hearts. Was it because they had such a limited lifespan that they were more creative, more emotional? After all his travels, all his meetings with different humans in different times, and he still didn't quite understand what made the human race so different. They won wars that logic and reason said they had no chance of winning. They made alliances with other species in the galaxy that couldn't even settle their own disputes, but somehow the Great Human Empire in two hundred years Rose's future were able to be the great diplomats of the universe.

She moaned softly, the sound calling his attention away from his thoughts and The doctor looked down at the girl tucked against his side. She shifted slightly, a frown marring her brow as she opened her eyes and covered her mouth before yawning. Five hours and thirty-two minutes, he thought as he watched her wake slowly. She must have been tired, and he was glad that she had gotten the rest she needed. He watched her face as she blinked and looked around at the TARDIS. Her expression was subdued, her thoughts written on her face, and he felt his sadness return.

She didn't say anything as she sat up, and he took his jacket back when she handed it to him, feeling her warmth surrounding him. Her scent was infused in the coat now, the mix of sunshine and honey, cinnamon and tea calming him with every indrawn breath. He watched her stand and look at the door of the TARDIS before she looked back at him. He nodded once, his expression neutral as he watched her walk down the ramp and open the door. He waited for just a moment before following after her and closing the door behind him as he exited the TARDIS.

The street he had landed on was busy with people, the humans bustling about as they walked back and forth like ants marching around, and over top of each other. She stopped only twenty feet away from the TARDIS, still not speaking as she looked around, and he could feel the dread building as he fought to keep the emotion from his face. Why was she so different than his other companions? Why was the thought of losing her worse than anything he'd ever felt before?

Rose stood still in the street as she watched the people passing her by, unable to shake the image of the Earth tearing apart from her mind. They didn't know, not one of them did, and she felt older than her years as she listened to them laugh as they talked. The sound of a baby's cries caught her attention and she breathed in deeply as she fought back the emotions swirling inside of her. There was a Frenchman selling papers off to the side and still not one of them knew. They didn't think about the Earth ending, or the day when they might not be able to make a home on this planet again.

They didn't think about what might happen ten, or twenty, or a hundred years from now. It was too far away for them, but for her the death of their planet had been yesterday. Was this what it meant to travel with The Doctor? Did time simply lose all measure of meaning? She could hear his footsteps as he came up behind her; could feel his presence as he stood quietly next to her, and waited for him to speak. She needed him to speak first, and he seemed to understand that.

"You think it'll last forever," The Doctor said as he glanced at Rose, before turning his eyes to the milling crowd around them. "People and cars and concrete, but it won't. One day it's all gone, even the sky."

He paused for a moment, his twin hearts aching as he worried that these would be his last moments with her. If they were, he told himself, then the least he could do was help her understand him a little bit. After all, that was all she had really been asking for back on the observation deck, wasn't it?

"My planet's gone. It's dead," he told her, and felt her attention turn on him before he looked down to meet her gaze. "It burned like the Earth. It's just rocks and dust before it's time."

She couldn't imagine not having a home to go to, to be lost in the manner that he was. That was what had shaken her the most when the automated clock had been counting down the time to the Earth's death. It hadn't been the loss of the planet itself, or being so far away from everyone she knew, instead it had been the reality that in the time they were, her mother was dead. Everyone that she knew was dead, and she was there because she could be, because she was with a traveling alien in a time machine.

"What happened?" she asked him, needing to know as much as she needed to hear his voice. It steadied her somehow, his melodic baritone with the northern accent.

"There was a war and we lost," he answered her, sounding so very old to her and worn down in a way that made her want to comfort him any way she could.

"A war with who?" she asked, but somehow knew that he wouldn't answer that question. She cleared her throat if only to speak without her emotions coloring her words. "What about your people?"

He turned his gaze back to her. "I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left traveling on my own because there's no one else."

She could see the anguish in his expression, her heart reaching out to him immediately as she spoke.

"There's me," she told him, reminding him that she was there, feeling the resolve to stay with him if he would let her, and met his gaze when he turned his eyes on her.

"You've seen how dangerous it is. Do you want to go home?" he asked, offering her an out. She could still walk away; she didn't have to stay with him.

Rose frowned as she considered his question. "I don't know," she said as she looked into his eyes. "I want . . . " she trailed off, and the most tantalizing scent caught her attention and she looked around as she breathed in deeply once more. "Oh. Can you smell chips?"

The Doctor looked confused for a moment before he broke out into a wide smile and laughed. "Yeah, yeah."

"I want chips," she told him sincerely, her mouth watering at the thought of food.

"Me too." He laughed and met her smile with a grin of his own.

"Right then, before you get me back in that box of yours, chips it is and you can pay," she told him her mind already halfway gone with the thought and scent of food.

"No money," he told her with a shrug, smiling as he looked at her and felt his hearts swell with the hope she was bringing him. She was staying with him.

"What sort of date are you?" she asked him with a teasing smile. "Come on then, tightwad. Chips are on me. I've only got five billion years until the shops close."

She met his blue eyes with a wide smile, her tongue coming out to curl up over her canine and touch the edge of her lip. Her smile was infectious, infusing his being with warmth and making him feel as though everything would always be alright so long as she was by his side. Offering her his hand, he felt his twin hearts race when she took it. Rose squeezed his hand in a tight reassuring grip, before holding his hand comfortably and leading him away. He followed her easily, willingly and every time she looked back at him she had that same wide smile on her face.

"Come on," she told him with a laugh as she tugged him into the chippie behind herself and closed her eyes as she breathed in deeply.

"You gonna get any food then?" he asked as she remained still, uncaring that people were looking at them.

"Blimey it smells . . . " She breathed in deeply and gave a soft moan of approval that only he was able to hear. "It smells really good," she told him, and moved slowly up to the counter.

His lips tingled with the taste of the salt in the air, and he breathed in the airborne flavor of food only for his senses to be drowned in Rose's scent instead. She looked back at him, her eyes bright and shining with adventure and happiness as she seemed to be waiting for him. He shook his head before she widened her eyes slightly and tipped her head back to the sign above the counter. He laughed then and nodded as he turned his eyes up to the blackboard and read the menu written in different colors of chalk. He looked down when Rose smiled, not realizing how close they were standing until she leaned back against him, and tipped her head up to meet his gaze.

He smiled as he reached around her for the Styrofoam containers and carried them as he followed her to a table. Looking down as he opened his container, he watched her reach across the table to grip his hand and he smiled as he looked up to meet her gaze. She didn't say anything, just smiled and it was all he needed. After everything he had done and after all he had seen, she was there with him and it made his long controlled emotions freer than they'd been in more than a century. Forever didn't seem so lonely, or so long with Rose by his side.