Windstorm Tales
Flick.
The camera began to record a field of white. Several snow-laden trees and buildings could be seen in the background. The right side of the screen was dominated by a blue-and-green shoulderguard and a few locks of spiky blond hair. Gusts of wind could faintly be heard, but they were mostly overpowered by shouts and the clashing of weapons. ("Oh my god, True, stop lagging!") The camera jerked suddenly, as the view shifted slightly, revealing pale skin and half of a blue eye.
"I think that should be about right. We might have to squeeze a little to fit, though," came a boy's voice, loud due to his proximity to the camera. ("Pulled pork!" followed by a loud crashing.)
A girl's voice said, nearby, "Can you hurry up, Nil? I'm f-freezing. Why'd you pick Wintry Velder, anyways?"
"Punishment for last time, Aura," said the boy. He grunted as he stood up and moved out of the camera's view, leaving an empty field. ("Okay that's it, I'm gonna swap characters.") "Nobody asked you to wear so little," he continued, referring to her swimsuit.
"Aren't you cold, too? I mean, you're wearing Salvatore Denif. Why did you switch to Salvatore Denif, anyways?"
"Freezing my bloody arse off," replied the boy cheerfully. "I swapped 'cause Kira said having too many Luto suits would be boring, but I really wish I had pants right now."
("My booty shorts are better than yours!")
"Bitch, please, my shorts are fabulous!" the boy shouted back, triggering a round of snorts. "Anyways," he continued in a quieter tone of voice, "we're just about to-" A sudden pause. "Ah, darn. Be right back; parents."
"Damnit Nil, at least finish your sentence…" muttered the girl.
After a short moment, a man in a white suit started to cross the screen.
"Where'd Nil go?" he asked. The girl gave no vocal reply, but the man raised an eyebrow in response to whatever she'd done, and said, "Huh." Then he turned to the screen. "What's up, everybody, Light here with a bunch of guildies, and today, I'm very happy, to say, we'll be renaming our show to 'Confessions of the Professional Stalkers United!' "
There was the sound of a burst of air, as if somebody had just reluctantly laughed. ("Oh my god, Darren, what did you just call us?" called out an indignant voice.) Undeterred, or maybe even spurred on, the man grinned and continued on. "First up is Nilly Bear, who'll reveal some of his secret techniques, and if you find him and ask him, he'll give you something good."
("Light, Nil's gonna murder you when he sees this.")
"Who's gonna murder who now?" asked the boy, returning just in time to hear the last few words. He walked onto the screen.
"Nah, it's nothing," said the man, a hint of laughter still in his voice.
The boy shrugged, apparently deciding not to pursue the topic. Instead, he shouted, "Come on, guys, we're ready now!"
There were a few grumbles of "Finally," but a whole slew of characters began to fill the screen. "Come in, guys- make sure you fit. Okay, Kira, can you uh, go there, and uh, Soupy, over there?" People continued to file in, filling up the screen as the boy recited a series of instructions before suddenly spinning on the spot, snapping, "Come on, Somina, True."
"Hold on a sec, jus' lemme kill True," a woman called back.
Above, "A New Challenger Has Arrived" appeared in floating letters.
"You can kill True later! Come squeeze in, please."
"Oh my god, Asti, calm yo' tits," shouted the woman in reply, prompting two voices to shout, "I'm not Nil!" and "I'm not Asti!" simultaneously.
"Just do it without them," suggested a boy squishily; his mouth was wedged between two people's shoulderguards. "You didn't even have anybody last time."
The boy in blue-green armor seemed to force himself to stop and think for a moment. "Yeah, alright," he said finally. He set his smile in place and turned to the camera, not noticing the magical circle a few feet above his head.
"Hi guys. Welcome back to Windstorm Tales." There were a few sniggers, and his face scrunched up in confusion for an instant before settling back down. None of them noticed the person with purple hair sneaking up on them from behind.
"I'm Nil, your host and narrator, and today-"
"I'M BACKKK-" called the person very loudly, in a sing-song voice. The whole group reacted predictably- a few began to dart away, a few reached for their weapons, and a few just jumped in place. It was a little too late, however.
"ENERGY SPUR-"
The camera was blown away by the blast. Even tumbling in the air, it could still see several bodies flying around. Then, with a screen-shattering crash, it hit the ground. The recording cut to black shortly after.
Nil's random nostalgia pt 2
Jeez… I'm not sure how much of this I remember… Let's see what I can get through. The next five people, I believe, are somina, Kat, Asti, Kira, and…. Okay the person will kill me for this, but I can't remember the last person.
[It's me, you idiot!]
Whoops. Sorry, Bombsy! Yeah, the last person is Bombsy, a.k.a. Magic, a.k.a. Yukiko, a.k.a…. kay forget it, I'll just call him TOWMA (The One With Many Alts).
[Why the heck are you calling me something that weird? And other people have lots of alts, too!]
Yeah, but not as many. Sides, you have like six or seven names depending on who's addressing you. Wouldja rather be called TOWMN, The One With Many Names?
[Just call me Bombsy, damnit. Or Yukiko.]
Yeah, sure, sure. So anyways, back to the story- I think Towma-
[Nil…]
Ahem. (Continues in a quieter voice). Towma was the first to join in our talks. One of the first for sure, maybe tied with Kira and Asti. Our convos were about, well… anime and manga, specifically, really good anime/manga that made you cry. (Clears throat.) Probably coulda left that out, but since I didn't- we are guys, just saying. Minus Somina, Kat, and Dreamy.
Anyways, this was a long time ago, back when… hmm… Damn. All the way back when Towma-
[Nil.]
-was on his first character, an Elemental Master named MagicBombs- hence our nicknames for him. Now that I think about it, I think my first conversation with him was about his name. (Laughs). If I remember right, my comment was somewhere along the lines of "Bombs. Manly. Magic part… not so much." And he laughed and said that was why he'd added the bombs part to magic… Or something like that, he'll probably correct me if I'm wrong.
I can't really remember my first convos with anyone else except Kat- that's for later, since it came later and the conditions were different. I think we only started talking indirectly, when they joined into the conversations. I think I remember my first significant conversations with them at least… slash, solo conversations.
With Asti, it was about… Puella Magi Madoka Magica. He was telling me all about the series and spoiling the damn thing, since I'd forgotten to tell him I was only on episode 8. [Heh-heh, heh… Oops?] Also told me about the movie and how he was sad he'd missed the showing near his home. I think we were comparing skill builds for Tactical Trooper at the same time, heh. I guess it's handy sometimes, having overlapping mains.
With Somina, it was…
…
I think it was about how she suddenly became Dreamy's mother. But that's Who's Who stuff. Not to mention, confusing as hell. At least both her characters (Code: Battle Seraph and Night Watcher) are old enough to make it a little more legitimate.
With Kira it was…
…
Shit. Kira! What did we talk about the first time we had a real conversation?
[I dunno. Anime?]
… Balls. Well, whatever, at least I remember Kira was on his IS back then (since then turned into a RS and consequently abandoned like a Barbie doll) and was actually higher level than us.
Heh. Yeah, that last part? Didn't last very long.
[Hey! At least my Grand Master's level 61 now!]
Eh. (Continues in a quieter voice). As for Kat, well… I think the first time we talked to her was when True introduced her as his friend. Us being us, we naturally put on shipping goggles. I know Dreamy and I had tons of private conversations gushing over how cute the two were when they talked.
[You WHAT?!]
[You guys-] (cut off abruptly, and then the sound of the speaker's laughter)
[Pff- Did you guy actually?]
Yeah we did, right, Dreamy?
[Mmhmm.]
Moving on… back then, I think we'd already started having a level split- True burst a few levels, then shoved himself into PvP, Light sped on ahead, Dreamy basically stopped really leveling, and I just kinda did a bit of everything, including jumping around in towns chatting on guild chat. It's different now, of course, but back then, I don't think I even ran a dungeon with any of these five people. Hmm, except maybe Towma.
[NIL! IMMA KILL YOU, YOU HO.]
(Sound of motion in the background).
Anyways, Nil signing out from Windstorm HQ cuzIthinkI'maboutto- Crap.
(Sound of running and falling things, followed by a loud crash and a long, drawn out "OW.")
[Thank you, Kat.]
[No prob.]
[We should probably turn off the camera, huh?]
[I… can do that… Just gimme a sec…]
[Hey Nil, what'd you mean by Windstorm HQ? Cause Elsword doesn't have guild halls, so do you mean our Skype call?]
[Shh, not… so loud. I dunno… if we're allowed to say that… think it's trademarked… Ugh… Hup. Alright.]
[Ohhh, okay.]
[That's silly. It's just a damn café. Why would they-]
/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
Postscript: Jokes aside, Bombsy really does have a lot of names and alts… but he has a main now! Go, hyperactives! Also, for the sake of simplicity, he'll be Bombsy in this fic. Cheers!
A call with Asti
Dear viewers, as a fairly close-knit group of online friends, we talk, fairly often, of silly, inconsequential things unrelated to our "real" lives. However, as happens to even the best of us, real life occasionally intrudes- AFKs, BRBs, relationships, parents, and whatnot.
On this note, dear viewers, come with me and we will see; a common occurrence, from the mic of Asti.
(-)
Asti: "Umm, the big grenade does more damage, but it costs more- WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?"
Asti's sister: "I'm looking for something! I think it's in your room. Can you help me find ittttt?"
A: "WHY WOULD IT BE IN MY ROOM? GO FIND IT YOURSELF!"
S: "I DUNNO! I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE ELSE!"
A: "GWAAR- Okay. Okay. Do you remember when you lost it?"
S: "Yeaaaaaaah…"
A: "Where were you then? Did you check that place?"
S: "DUH. Of course I diiid. It wasn't there!"
A: "THEN CLEARLY YOU DON'T REMEMBER RIGHT! GO BACK AND- WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY BED?!"
(-)
Ahem. I think, dear viewers, we will leave these two alone for a moment, and carry on.
Chatting with strangers
One day, True and I decided that we, well, wanted to try each other's characters. some hijinks ensued. And then we finally managed to swap account information. True instantly obsessed over my incomprehensibly organized inventory. I instantly noticed how lonely and barren those poor items looked. We swapped some skill builds, although slot placement was a completely different story- and then, finally, we actually got into the gameplay.
First, we pvp'd. I won 3:1 (Harsh Chaser and Sword Blasting are quite useful). Then, we did Henir. It was actually pretty fun, although True was extremely confused when to use Chaos Cannon. And did not enjoy it. Like, at all. He basically swore to never touch TT again.
Also claimed he had more respect for me now, which is obviously empty flattery, because there was no way he didn't already have infinite respect for me.
Anyways- an interesting thing happened while I was on True's account. One of his friends started talking to me, and… well… I'll just let you see for yourself.
(-)
True's Friend: ":I"
Me: "?"
F: ":I"
M: "^^"
(several more lines of random emoticons)
M: "i'm not him, btw. :P"
F: "i ate your cookies while you were gone."
M: "lol I'll tell him that."
F: ":I"
M: "or maybe say i did it X3. Muahaha."
F: ":/ u scary :("
M: "LOL. XD"
F: "who?"
(Insert lengthy explanation just given above)
F: "u still scary T.T"
M: "waaat. why :/"
F: "just cause it feels like I'm talking to myself."
M: "LOL. so are you scary?"
F: "Nuuu. I'm weird."
M: "Then why am i scary?"
F: "cause."
M: "e.e"
F: "by the wa girl or boy?"
(This was my first mistake.)
M: "mmm. guess ^^"
F: "girl."
(This was my second mistake. )
M: "You're right ^^"
F: "Thought you were a girl."
(Concerned at this point.)
M: "Hmm… that obvious?"
F: "Yes."
(… More concerned.)
(Lapse in conversation)
F: ":( I left to go eat chocolate and u disappeared."
M: "girls do that, you know."
F: "... u mean u?"
M: "yep."
F: "... T.T"
F: "bud imma girl too Q.Q."
M: "You are? o.O I thought you were a guy."
F: "I guess imma tomboy?"
M: "Ehheh. sry~"
F: "Its ok."
F: "But like i said, ur scary T.T"
M: "XP"
(Wait for it…)
F: "Cause you act like me except girlier :9"
M: "WHAT?!"
(-)
… Yeah. That, um. Happened. The fact that she was a self-proclaimed tomboy helped… but not by much.
Change of topic. Let's look back in on the two siblings for a moment.
(-)
S: "-has a foot fetishhhhhh!"
A: "WHAT?! OH MY GOD- DON'T LISTEN TO HER, SHE MADE THAT UP."
(-)
… I'm terribly sorry you had to hear that.
Kat's Febreezy Day
Note: The following documentary contains scenes of violence, swearing, partial nudity, and death. 96% of this program is factually accurate; the other 4%, unavoidable, silly, and mildly inaccurate elaboration. Viewer discretion is advised.
(-)
It was a hot day. Sweltering, in fact. Kat would much rather have stayed at home if not for the fact that the ice-cream man wasn't due for another eight hours and she was bored out of her mind. So, she'd packed up and left to go to the cafe, although she was starting to regret her decision- the sun really was painfully bright, and the inside of her mouth and nose felt dry. She tried to stick to the shade, and took paths that she normally didn't take, and that was why she walked by the building of an antique sword collector, and so, found something a little strange on top of a covered recycling bin.
"Huh."
(-)
Over at the Skype Headquarters
"-so yeah, anyways, I think my nails actually look pretty decent," said Kira, glancing at his hand, fingers spread wide.
"White-out? Really, Kira? Really?" said True, shaking his head.
Light, for his part, let out a laugh. "Kira, are you sure you're not gay?"
"Mm. Yeah. Maybe I am, you know," Kira deadpanned. He was about to continue when the door behind him slammed open.
"HEEEEEEEL-LOOOOO!" Kat shouted from the entrance. Several pairs of eyes spun around to stare at her, even the people who were seated around the Risk board. She walked into the room with jerky motions, one hand held behind her back, the other not quite letting go of the doorknob until the door closed behind her.
"Er, hi, Kat..." said Asti from his seat (on his cannon) by the counter. He was watching the small TV that was perched at the end of the counter. A few other people made belated greetings, watching her with varying levels of wariness and curiosity.
Kat let out a little giggle as she looked around the room and started reciting names. "Hi Assti, hi Light, hi Kira, hi True, hi somina, hi nil, hi-" She stopped to take a breath.
[Umm… Kat, are you okay?] Nil signed to her.
"Mmmmmmmmmm hm! I feel greaaaaat," Kat said, swaying a little on her feet. she stumbled over to the counter and swiped herself a bottle of desert juice.
"Kat, are you drunk?" asked True.
"No. I hate beer." She brought out her other hand from behind her back, revealing a spray bottle held in her hand. "I took Febreeze."
True spluttered. "FEBREEZE?!" The others at his table all winced in disgust.
"Kat, I don't think you should do that," said Kira as he flipped open an Item Mall magazine. "That stuff's poisonous."
Kat ignored that, and instead took a swig of her juice. She made a great display of swallowing the juice down, eyes bugging out for a moment, as if she were choking, and then suddenly belted out, "FOUR sTRenf FOUR sTAM LEDDER BELT!"
A couple people jumped at that, then grumbled, shaking their heads. Bombsy, on the other hand, burst out laughing. "Oh my god Kat- you ARE drunk."
"Nooooo." There was a pause as Kat seemed to disconnect from the conversation, and then she marched over to the speakers and announced, "I'm gonna play Teen Top now." Before anybody could reply, K-pop began blasting out of the speakers, and the people nearest winced and covered their ears.
[Okay Kat, you actually need to stop now.] Nil signed as he got up and walked over to her. It looked like he was about to continue, but the instant he touched Kat, she whirled around and sprayed him in the face with her bottle. He jerked back from the spray, then slowly, woozily fell down onto the ground.
"Don't touch me!" she shrieked. Then her face scrunched up as she registered what'd happened to the Tactical Trooper. "Uh… what?"
"Nil, stop playing," Somina scolded. She was holding a cup of tea in a grip that seemed at odds with Eve's gentle refinement, but she frowned a little when Nil didn't react.
"Kat…" said Bombsy slowly, drawing out the name. "What did you do?"
"I- I dunno," she replied, looking confused for a brief moment. "I…" she glanced back at the bottle she held in her hand, and an electric thrill seemed to pass through her body. By the time she turned back to the others, she had a wide, rather ominous smile on her face.
"Ooooookay," said Light, sensing danger. He got up from his seat and started slowly walking over to her. "I think we should get that bottle out of here now, Kat."
Said person's eyes narrowed. "Nuh-uh." And with that, she spun on her heel and began to run away from Light.
"Damnit, Kat!" Light swore as she vaulted onto an empty table, then air-ran right over his head. "Damnit True, help me, wouldja?"
"Aw, why me?"
"You're not doing anything right now. Stop being lazy and get your butt over here." True groaned but stood up anyways.
"Do you guys need help or anything?" asked Dreamy worriedly.
"No no, go play your game. Asti, go wake Nil up," Light continued before redoubling his efforts to catch Kat.
"I- why- Gwargh-" Asti got up and stomped over to the other Chung, who was still lying on the floor. He prodded Nil with his cannon. "Yo, Nil, wake up," he said loudly, trying to drown out Kat's maniacal laughter. There was no reaction. "Yo! Nil!" Another cannon prod, heavier this time- but there was still no reaction. Asti squatted by Nil's head, cupped his mouth with his hands, and shouted into Nil's ear, "NIL! WAKE UP!"
Nil shifted slightly, but otherwise didn't react. In any case, the commotion in the room had already grown to a volume that could've woken anybody up from a normal sleep. Asti rolled his eyes, then grinned suddenly as an idea came to him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black marker, and went to work on the other Chung's face.
Somina had gotten up from her seat and had come over to the two Tactical Troopers. When she saw what Asti was doing, she started laughing. "O-oh my god, Asti," she choked out, before dissolving into laughter again.
At the same time, the din in the background died down a little. "Where'd she go?" True asked, as Light swore under his breath. "Damnit Kat, stop lagging."
There was a loud, stuttered sound, as if four spray bottles had been used at once. True, Light, Asti, and somina all froze at the same time as the Febreeze went into their faces. Without further ado, all four of them sunk to the ground, out cold.
"Oh shi-" The others finally stood up in shock at what'd just happened. "Kat did her vanishing swallow thing again," Kira commented.
Bombsy just glanced at him before turning back to the others, and Dreamy didn't even do that much. "I think we have to stop her before this gets worse," she said soberly.
At the same time, Kat reappeared by the counter, a wide smirk on her face. "I got the level 70's," she crowed happily. "Now that they're out of the way, I can enjoy my Febreeze in peace." she lifted the bottle to her face, but lowered her arm again when she heard a loud stomp.
"HEY! Kat, you betch, I'm level 70, too," Bombsy shouted, annoyed.
Kat's eyes widened, and then she laughed. "Right, oops. sorry~; I forgot about that." Her smirk transfomed into something that wasn't completely sane, and she tilted her head to the side as she turned to face them.
"Are you guys ready?" she asked, innocently. And then, without waiting for an answer, she disappeared.
An instant later, she appeared in front of the Elemental Master, arm outstretched and finger in the midst of squeezing the trigger. she was fast, unwholesomely so- her lag made her seem to move faster than was otherwise possible in the world of Elsword. But fast as she was, she couldn't outrun thought, and where she had to cross a space of a few dozen feet, all Bombsy had to do was give a twirl of his wrist.
"Cyclone!"
The mist that came out of Kat's bottle was caught by the miniature tornado and swept away. Kat herself had intended on moving on to her next target, but the appearance of the cyclone meant that she had to dodge. she managed to alter her momentum by kicking a nearby chair, which was knocked into the Risk board, sending all the pieces into disarray.
"What?" Kat said incredulously, her manic expression now replaced with one of shock. She was now crouched on a nearby table. "You- how did you-?"
She was forced to stop and dodge to the side as a giant sword crashed into the table she'd been crouching on. she dodged again as Kira dashed towards her, managing to send a spray of Febreeze at his face even as she flipped over his head, but he simply ducked his head and dodged the spray- although he wasn't able to stop his momentum before hitting the wall and getting stuck.
She disappeared again, but this time the spray hit a statue that hadn't been there a moment ago, and bounced right off it. she retreated again, this time perching on the counter. "Damnit Bombsy, let me hit you already," she growled.
"You can't get me!" he taunted, as his statue began to crumble to pieces. "Not even with your lag."
Kat stared at him flatly for a moment, before nodding. "Maybe not, but you can't get me either. And you can't protect Kira and Dreamy, can you?"
"Oh shet- stop her from moving!" Bombsy shouted as Kat tensed up again. "I can get her if we can manage that."
Nearby, Dreamy looked at him as he said that. she nodded and made a motion with her spear, a blue aura flickering briefly into life around her hands.
Kat blurred.
Kira pried his sword out of the wall.
Bombsy readied his staff for another defensive cyclone.
And Dreamy took two steps forward, and shouted. "Energy Void!"
Kat, who'd just appeared in front of Dreamy, was caught completely by surprise. She squeezed the trigger out of reflex anyways, but the spray only traveled out a few inches before it was caught and pulled into the void, along with Kat and various other nearby objects, including a Risk figurine.
"Nice one, Dreamy!" shouted Bombsy. He started to run forwards, but through the dark aura let off by the skill, he saw someone else get there before him.
Kira leapt straight into the centre of the void, and smacked Kat in the forehead with the hilt of his sword, knocking her out cold.
"Did you get her yet?" Dreamy asked, a hint of strain showing in her voice.
"Yep!" Kira called back, and she let go of the skill with a sigh of relief. They'd managed to catch Kat. It was over.
But.. what exactly had it been?
(-)
Five minutes later, they were trying to sort out the aftermath of Kat's little adventure. Dreamy had dragged True and Light over to where the other unconscious level 70s were, Kira was in the kitchen, locking Kat in the cellar temporarily, and Bombsy had retrieved the half- empty bottle of Febreeze and was inspecting it. The mess in the center of the room- contaning broken furniture, board game pieces, a now-malfunctioning TV, and various liquids mixed together- was left unattended. It would take at least a few hours work to clean it all up.
"I think this label got slapped on- the bottle looks more like a hairspray can than the Febreeze bottles I know. In any case... Just what the heck was in this thing?" Bombsy asked, of no-one in particular.
"No clue," came Kira's voice, drifting out from below. He tugged one last time on the ropes that tied Kat to a pillar before tying the knot. As he got up and brushed his hands on his pants, Kat let out a rattling snore, prompting a dirty look. "Freaking hell, Kat, don't look so happy- we're the ones who have to clean up."
"Whatever it was, it wasn't Febreeze," said Dreamy from where she was kneeling by the unconscious people. "They still won't wake up."
Neither of the other two answered, although it was possible that Kira was too far to hear, and Bombsy was too focused. In any case, after slamming the cellar door shut, Kira came out of the pantry and went to join Dreamy. He paused as he neared her, said "Huh," and then continued on.
"Hmm? What is it?" Bombsy had noticed Kira's pause.
"Somebody drew on Nilth's face. In sharpie."
"Wait, what? Let me see," Bombsy said, leaving the bottle on the counter and making his way over to the other two.
As they tried different ways of waking the others up, none of them noticed that in the center of the mess behind them, something was moving. several distinct liquids had begun to mix together into a black, viscuous liquid that shifted and roiled with a mind of its own. Anything solid that was caught by it seemed to disappear into the blackness, and every object the slop touched made it grow larger and larger. As it grew, it bubbled up, as if it were some kind of demon muffin being cooked in the oven of… whatever.
When it was about the size of a table, it stopped growing. Instead, it seemed to quiver for a while, discernible objects slowly making their way out of the ooze. Here came a makeshift pair of goggles; elsewhere a choker made out of pipes; there a giant bottle and a gas mask; and finally, a large, hunch-backed overcoat.
"Oh my god what is that?"
Dreamy had finally noticed what had been going on behind them the whole time. The other two turned around in reaction to her words, expressions of shock coming onto their faces.
"What the heck? What's he doing here?!"
"Is that- Freakin' Joaquin…"
The final bits of the black ooze solidified, forming gloves and boots. A tremble went through its body, and then it lifted its head to the sky, and began to laugh Joaquin's sinister, signature laugh.
{MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA}
"What do we do- do we fight it?" Kira asked.
They all dodged in different directions as Joaquin threw a pair of glass bottles at them. They exploded once they hit the ground, leaving the floor scorched black.
"I guess that's a yes," he muttered. Then he lifted his blade and charged at Joaquin.
"I haven't fought him much. Can the three of us beat him?" asked Dreamy worriedly, before sidestepping another bottle. This one left an ugly green mist behind, and she mentally told herself to remember to not go back to that spot.
"Um, we should be able to. I think," Kira said, dodging away from a staff blow. Then he added, but not aloud, At least he doesn't have his shield on.
As soon as he thought that, the secret boss waved his arm in a vague circle, and his infamous shield popped into existence around him.
"Oh, for fu- who jinxed us?!" Bombsy snarled furiously. He was alternating between taking potshots at the boss and summoning statues in defense whenever it retaliated.
Kira flushed and frowned guiltily. Amusingly enough, Dreamy had a guilty look on her face, too.
"Damnit!" Bombsy shouted as a particularly heavy barrage of purple ghosts hit against his statue, preventing him from stepping out. "Ah, forget it. Let's just hide and wait for the shield to go down. I'll draw his attention. Soggy blocks everything, anyways."
"Alright!" Dreamy found a table to hide behind, while Kira vaulted over the countertop and disappeared.
A minute passed, barrage unabated. Statues came up, only to fall almost instantly. Bombsy was forced to change positions every once in a while, to avoid the poison gas that was building up.
Then two minutes passed. And then five.
"What the fu- The damn shield isn't going down!" Bombsy shouted, sounding harried.
Dreamy had a look of doom on her face. "All the poison isn't going away, either. We need to beat him, fast, or the others might…" She trailed off, pursing her lips. "Can you guys take care of it for a bit? I'm gonna drag the others outside, away from the gas."
"Do it." Dreamy nodded and flew away like a kite with a string that'd just snapped. she immediately started dragging them out the door, one by one. .
Kira grimaced. He hadn't been attacked in a little while, and the adrenaline was fading just enough for him to start thinking properly again. Not that it helped- what would he do? Calculate how long it would take for them to lose? None of their attacks were working- the shield was just too strong. Every hit managed to do a little damage- more from Kira, if he managed to stay in Annihilation mode- but at this rate, it'd take days to take Joaquin down- assuming he didn't decide to chug his healing potions, like he normally did when the shield was up. Then again, nothing about this was normal- the shield was never supposed to be up this long, for starters. But, the fact that he was here in the first place was the biggest mystery of all. What had happened?
He stuck his head over the counter, and for the first time, Kira took a proper look at Joaquin. Slowly, he realized that something was different. Anything minute, he probably would never have noticed- after all, who stared at a secret boss for longer than they had to? Why memorize their exact features? But he was pretty sure that the giant bottle Joaquin carried on his back usually wasn't filled with purple stuff. And he didn't remember the "refresh" symbol, either.
"Hey Bombsy!" he shouted across the room. The Elemental Master flung a minute-long string of profanities at him, and Kira mentally edited out everything non-essential: "WHAT?!"
"Look at the bottle on his back! Does it look familiar to you, too?"
Another string of profanities, shorter this time. And then: "IT'S THE DAMN SKILL RESET POTION. THE, UH, EL REVITALIZA-" He cut off suddenly, as if he'd just realized what he was saying.
"Huh. Revitalization drink."
"I'm gonna try to break it!" Kira called out.
"How the hell are you gonna do that?!"
"I'm in annihilation. Just gimme a sec." He gripped his sword more tightly as he tensed up, ready to charge. He was about the jump out when he heard Bombsy shout, "Watch out, Kira!"
He immediately jumped away from the counter, and just in time, too. It exploded, shards of marble flying everywhere. He protected his eyes with his arm, but the rest of his body took a beating.
"Damnit, Kira, move!"
He really just wanted to sit down in the hopes he'd stop hurting, but he obliged, reacting on instinct and managing to dodge a lightning bolt. He stared at the spot for a second before his brain finally kickstarted and he remembered why being hit by lightning was a bad thing. Joaquin had begun to throw another potion, forcing Kira to dodge again. And again. And again.
Meanwhile, on the other side, Bombsy was hurling fireballs as fast as he could generate them. "Yoo-hoo! Joaquin, you stupid b***h, I'm attacking youuuuuu. Get distracted already, you wh**eeeeeeeee." Throughout the tirade, the boss didn't turn to him once. Finally, a vein popped out in his forehead.
"DAMNIT! Kira. You better take cover," he snarled, pulling out a wind orb. "I'm gonna show this guy why he should be afraid of me."
"Nngh- hold on-" Kira grunted in reply. He dodged through a cloud of poison, sidestepped a potion, and parried a staff blow. He tried to snake his sword around to Joaquin's back, but the boss was already backing away- so instead, he lifted his fist, waited a beat to get the timing right, and Power Broke Joaquin's shield. He leapt away immediately after, dodging a retaliatory swipe. "There- do it."
"Thanks," Bombsy said tightly, before pitching his wind orb at Joaquin. The boss turned around, then, jumped in shock, and started waving its arms frantically. The shield instantly thickened noticeably- but by then, Bombsy had already begun his assault.
Lighting struck from the front, from the sky, bounced across the shield looking for a weak spot to exploit. There was a light pink explosion, and then the ground iced over instantly, followed by a volley of lightning strikes, and ending with a blinding firestorm that obliterated the last of the tables in the room.
When Bombsy finally finished casting his Hyperactive, he couldn't see at first, due to the relative darkness. When his vision finally cleared, he saw a burnt-looking Joaquin without any shield, and his morale shot up. Then he noticed that the boss was waving merrily at him, and that his vision seemed hazy, as if it were coated in smoke, and his morale plummeted. He tried to move, but found that he moved slowly- oh so slowly. It took him a full five seconds to look down and see a pair of bottles steadily leaking gas at his feet, and when he tried to look up- he couldn't move anymore.
Kira popped his head out from behind the door to the kitchen and saw that Joaquin's back was turned. He couldn't see anybody else, but he couldn't think about that now- the shield was down, and the boss's back was open. He immediately charged, thrusting his sword out to stab the purple bottle on Joaquin's back.
At the last second, the boss spun around and grabbed him by the head. It continued turning and threw him in one fluid motion, converting all the momentum into a flight path headed straight for Bombsy. Kira hit the Elemental Master a second later, sending them both crashing out the door.
However, just a few seconds prior to impact, as Joaquin was turning, a figure burst out of the wall of gas, several feet up in the air. Dreamy ran on top of the air, eyes intently focused on her target. She had already begun to reach out with her spear, but Joaquin was still turning. So, she let herself fall into a roll, one foot leaping off the air to boost her forward and up, twisted her body so that when she came out of the roll, she was turned around, and finally, let loose with a barrage of energy orbs that squarely and solidly struck the bottle.
The bottle exploded in a burst of howling purple energy. Dreamy was sent flying into the wall, to fall limply to the floor, completely exhausted. The rooftop and several sections of wall were obliterated, and over in the kitchen behind the counter, there came the sound of many plates smashing. Mixed with the dangerous purple substance was a silvery, thread-like liquid. Unlike the purple gas, the silver thread seemed attracted to something- every one of them went outside.
When the purple light finally faded, there was nothing left standing except for the boss. It had down-sized, however- now, it looked like it could comfortably fit in an adult's arms. It seemed slumped in place, and when it finally did move, it moved sluggishly and ponderously. It started moving itself to the counter where- against all odds- the bottle of Febreeze remained relatively intact. Although it looked battered and charred, it evidently wasn't broken, since none of the remaining liquid had leaked out.
It began to reach out towards the bottle, but stopped and cocked its head when it heard voices coming from outside.
"Jesus Ch- what happened?!"
"Bombsy, did you blow up the cafe again?"
"Why are you guys lying on to-"
"Shut up! I dunno what happened, but Joaquin's inside… somehow. Just go and kill it already!"
"Bombsy and Kira, sitting in a tree-"
"I will murder you."
"Shockwave!"
The wall of gas cleared, and all the level 70s that had just been out of commission filed in and stood in a semi-circle, facing the boss. "Well, well," Light said, a tight, annoyed smile on his face.
[You really did a number on us, huh?] Nil signed furiously.
"I was having a really nice dream, too," True sighed. "I'd just killed you, and you dropped an Alterasia top AND bottom piece."
"HAH," Asti scoffed. "Like that'd happen! I guess you'll just have to kill him in reality, True."
Meanwhile, Somina was rubbernecking, a look of despair on her face. "Look at this! What is this?! Oh, my god, how are we gonna pay for this?"
At that, everyone turned to stare at mini-Joaquin. It jumped, gave a little squeak, and shot off towards the kitchen. Before it could reach the doorframe and relative safety, though, a silver figure shot past him in a spiraling flight. Somina alighted in the doorway, looking furious. "Nuh, uh. You ain't gettin' away from this," she growled.
The secret boss put on the brakes and started looking around for another escape route. Before it could find one, however, a blade tagged it in the back and dragged him towards the others.
"Maelstrom Rage!"
It was sucked into a vortex, unable to move as the players advanced on it.
"Ugh- 40 bars of health, still? What were you guys doing?" Asti called out to the others outside.
"HEY. We did our best. He had a shield up the whole time!" Kira shouted back, head popping into view in the doorway.
"Oh. Not bad then."
"Hyperactives?" True asked, and the others nodded. "Not like we could damage the place more."
[I'll support you, then.]
"Tactical Field." Nil enunciated calmly. Then, four pink hearts exploded, and True, Somina, Light, and Asti all began their lengthy transformation sequences into magical gi- Ahem. Sorry. And then, they all shouted at the same time:
"EXTREME BLADE!"
"PSYCHIC ARTILLERY!"
"BLADE RAIN!"
"SATELLITE RAIN!"
"ENERGY BOLT!"
When all the light faded, Joaquin was gone, leaving only a small pile of jelly behind. The players began to scatter, grumbling.
"Did anyone see where my Miho went?"
[Where'd Dreamy go?]
"I feel like I'm forgetting some- Oh shit! I almost forgot about Kat!"
"What the hell are we gonna do with this bottle?"
[Hold on, Dreamy, lemme use my marriage skill.]
"Neh. Just put it somewhere noone'll use it."
"DAMNIT, MY MUG GOT BROKEN!"
"Why me?"
"You picked it up- just do the damn thing, will you?"
(-)
The sun was setting when an androgynous person walked by the Febreeze bottle that'd been left in the park. Plenty of other people had walked by it, most not even noticing it was even there, but this one stopped abruptly and went over to it. The bottle was flipped, and the label at the bottom inspected.
"Huh, so that's where my bottle went. But how did it get here?"
The person seemed to think on that for a few moments before shrugging, apparently deeming it unimportant. "Somebody's used some of it, too..." Another shrug. "Oh well. Might as well toss 'em. They weren't very good for cleaning shoes, anyways. Hmm, and I really thought the Alchemist Reagent and Life Crystals I added would help..."
And after giving another shrug, the person walked on.
(-)
What? Where was the partial nudity, you ask?
Oh, that's just describes the costumes worn by all of the girls and both Chungs.
You're skeptical of the figure at the start? Hmm.. Well, I never said that the statistic itself wasn't included in the "silly elaboration." :3
Perhaps this time, we will see a lovely sibling relationship?
(-)
A: "RAWR RAWR RA RA RAWR!" (Carefully paraphrased from actual dialogue.)
S: "LALALALALA!" (Actual dialogue.)
(-)
… Nevermind.
Poems, for Somina.
Somina knows me.
"Nil? Nil's a goddamn slut." Yep.
Knows me very well.
Somina knows me.
Secrets? "Sure, just a sec, Nil."
Half-hour long wait.
Somina knows me.
Let's gooooo. "Calm yo titties." But-
I don't have any…
Somina knows me.
"Nil sounds manly." Could it be?
The start of true love?
Somina know me.
You a real pole dancer?
"Ain't this bout you, Nil?"
Somina knows me.
"Damnit, Asti!" somina….
That's me, not Asti…
The End.
P.S. I am not a poet.
A: "-takes you an hour to send an email!"
S: "Well…" (Sound of footsteps retreating)
A: "Are you just not gonna answer?!"
Yep- this is pretty much every single time his sister comes on the call.
(I'm calling it right here and now- UST :3)
In any case, I hope you guys enjoyed this installment of Windstorm Tales. I'll see you next time!
Who's Who?
Nilthreud- Strong, handsome, dashing, modest, and great with the ladies. (You mean being one!) [Hush you.] Happily awaiting the Chung revamp which might take… well… forever, to come to NA. :(
TrueAutumn- Does not like playing as Tactical Trooper. Prone to second job quitter syndrome- has maybe two characters above 45. Close Elsword and skype properly, for god's sake! Eh, at least we mutually sorrow over Tactical Trooper skill notes. Married to Somina.
Light- Needs to stop showing me lewd Chung pics. Married to Bombsy, Somina, Kat, and… More? My god, even I forgot. Basically a harem protag. Enjoys teddy bear cuddling and long walks on the beach, so, uh, if there are any single ladies out there… *Whistles*
Dreamystars- Was KIA in the fight with Joaquin. T.^ Just kidding :3. She comes and goes in the night, watching over Goth- I mean, the guild. I guess she's like, our Batman- the hero, not the military assistant, not the truck, the hero. Don't try to get smart with me, I'm warning you. *Waggles finger*
Bombsy- Resident tr- no, he'd kill me for that. Actually, I think he'd kill me for most of what I'd say, so please mourn me if I die. I'll just say it. Yeah. *Clears throat* Has more facial hair than nearly everyone in the group except maybe Light and Verdi- gurk. gurgle….
Kira- Resident nail painter and legs crosser. Also a trap, since I'm not considering his Add as his main until it beats his Grand Master, level-wise. Oh hey- I didn't die this time. *Gets trampled by an army of Brave Frontier characters*
Asti- The other Tactical Trooper. Much more fragile due to a lack of Wally's gear. Perhaps the size of his cannon is compensating for something? (HAH. What does that say about you?!) [Go away, Asti.] Married to Verdigris, who will be intro'd in a later chapter.
Somina- Code: Battle Seraph. Of course she's a PVE beast. Hasn't built for the op Thousand star add dmg PvP build, but she doesn't really fight anyways. Self-proclaimed professional stripper. (NIL!) Or is that alleged? Oh well~. Married to True and Light, so she's also a harem protag. Except female. And True's a fair bit younger. Yeah…
Kat- Freaking insane. We bond over deltoids. Apparently can take sedative levels of hallucinogens and keep on rolling.