I can't get over how long it has been since I've posted a new chapter of this. I thought it was last year. Not two years ago. I mean I first started writing this in 2011! THATS CRAZY! I just lost motivation for this story but I didn't think it was that long ago!
Anyways for some reason I wrote a new chapter. Not sure why. It's also terribly shit because I haven't wrote in like a year and my skills are just terrible. The writing is very bland and boring sorry. I'm trying to get back into writing now.
Anyways, if you feel like reviewing do. If not I don't blame you sinces its been forever since I've updated
0.273 years,
3.285 months,
14.285 weeks,
100 days.
Hermione's Point of View.
I feel the draw of his index finger along my knuckle.
It's distracting. I want to pull away but it's unwise to do so. My throat is dry. It hurts.
Harry catches my gaze. I look down guilty. He knows.
He knows.
Draco's Point of View.
I feel the draw of the wand against my index finger.
It burns. I want to stop but I can't. My head is full of heavy thoughts. It hurts.
Bellatrix smirks at my moment of discomposure. I look away. She knows.
She knows.
Hermione's Point of View.
Harry watches me a lot lately. I often find myself faltering under his gaze. The weight of it has no numerical value, just heaviness in my heart that pulls my chest down. I slouch against its pull.
I drift away from it all. Back to home. Back to the feel of...
Caught by the light, aware but asleep.
Draco's point of view.
"You've disappointed me. You are no son of mine."
I watch as he stands up from the dinner table and leaves. I stare at my untouched food on the table, resting on top of our finest china, the elegant curve of the silverware beside it. The table cloth is more expensive than the entire weasel household.
I feel the tight squeeze of my mother's slender fingers against my wrist and a flash of brunette hair before the darkness envelopes me.
Hermione's point of view.
"You have to tell him mione. It's not fair on him. He's clueless." Harry whispers, stroking my arm slightly.
How do I tell him that I have no words. That lately I know less words now than I did when I was three. They feel strange in my mouth. A language I don't understand.
I've lost my grip. On everything.
"Hermione...Did you ever care about Ron? In the way he cares about you?" Harry's voice carries out over the lake. I hear the water lapping just slightly below us. I want to lean down and listen to the words it's whispering to me. I want someone else to tell me the answers I've always known since I could first hold a book.
I think if I could drift to the bottom of the lake I would feel no new pressure from the water as the pressure I currently feel would equal out the water pressure.
I sometimes think of drowning.
Draco's point of view.
"Legilimens"
Nothing appears. The task of it doesn't take any effort anymore.
"You've improved greatly Draco. I want to teach you how to hide certain thoughts and memories from the dark lord and whoever may at any point decide to randomly search your mind, or question your loyalty to their cause."
Snape moves to the window.
"You know I worked for the Dark Lord for some time. He used to come to my house at night and search my mind while I was sleeping. Or while he thought I was sleeping."
I watch snapes silhouette move around the dusky room. He is so silent I sometimes forget he's even in the room.
On the outside I'm calm, collected. My stance is strong and with a questionable intimidation.
On the inside I feel swollen. My body is too full of blood. I want to cut a giant hole in my heart and just let a little leak out.
"Draco are you listening?" Snape asks from the window. I notice his warm breath has softened some of the cool icicles forming on the glass.
"Do you understand what I'm saying? What I'm going to teach you now?" Snape's eye brows knit together as he leans across the table at me. There's a new expression on his face that's a mix of emotions he hasn't showed me before.
"I'm going to teach you how to hide thoughts of her."
At the mention of her she flashes before my eyes. Snape whips up and yells the spell I subconsciously knew he would.
"Legilimens"
She appears and I'm to weak to stop it.
There's colors that I've never even experienced in my life before. There's sounds that are so wholly her it hurts. And then, as always...
It begins with her laugh.
She's undressing in the dormitories a month ago. I'm watching her but she doesn't see me. I had cast a disillusionment charm. I see the curves of her body as she slips into bed. The soft up rise of her chest as she sleeps.
Her hand in weasels as he parades her proudly around the hallways. The bags under her eyes in potions. The smell of her hair as she brushes past me, making her way to her seat. The swell of her breasts when she takes off her over coat on a unusually warmer day.
Her lips. Her lips. Her lips again. Perfectly curved, pink and blush. My hungry lips devouring hers in possibly the only time I'll ever get to kiss her. Besides the chaste kiss we had when we were 8 under the cherry blossom tree in west court.
My hands slid over her breasts as I pull her slender body on top of mine in the bed. My tongue slides into her warm, wet mouth and I float above the water. I'm no longer drowning.
There is a split second when her tongue rolls back into my mouth. It is the shortest time I have ever known in my 18 years. But I clutch onto it with everything I have.
It is the string that holds me above the Pitts of darkness. It is the only reason I haven't fallen.
"Draco," she whispers. I breathe it in.
My knees finally give in.
Sweet darkness. Relief.
Hermiones point of view.
I search for him in the hallways most days but rarely find him, and look away when I do. Days that's I find him it's slightly easier to breath. Days that I don't, I manage.
Draco's Point of view.
One single drop of sweat runs down my back when I see snape running towards me in the darkened hallway.
"I was going to do the homework snape I just been busy I swear I'll have it for tomorrow," I scream backing away. He rips me from the corner and yanks on my arm harder than any teacher ever should. I yell out in pain and push against his hand. His nails cut into me.
Snape pulls me into his classroom. The shutters are closed and little light escapes through their clutches into the stuffy room.
"What the fuck! Don't fucking do that to me," I scream when he eventually releases his grip on my arm. I access the damage only to discover two deep holes etched into my arm.
"You fucking better not be a werewolf or a snake or anything cause I really don't have time for that-
The words stop in my throat, caught on fear on the way up.
Snapes face is a mask. A mask of a man I don't know. A man who shows sympathy, and pain, and empathy.
I step back into the cool wall behind me. Trying to let the fear drain out of me and into the wall but it only builds.
A sparkle catches my attention. I look towards his open palm, a diamond ear ring sits in the center. He eyes it once before accessing my reaction. Trying to see if I understand. It isn't long before I catch on.
The surface of the wall is uneven as I hit it when I fall to my knees. Snape quickly blurs against my tears. My face grows wet as he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I don't stop the screams when they come. Nor does snape come back to silence me.
Hermione's point of view.
The hand the grips my shoulder is not one I'm accustomed too. The faces of my friends around the table second the notion that this isn't someone who usually approaches me.
When I turn around to find Snapes cold, pale hand on my shoulder my eyes immediately dart to the Slytherin table. He isn't there. I turn a questioning glance back to Snape who gives me a look we haven't ever come close to sharing before.
"Miss Granger, come with me." Is all he says as he grabs my arm, pulling me up from the table. Ron and Harry call after me, as Snape drags me away.
In the empty hallway I speak not as a student. I follow as a child. Along the sinuous stream of hallways, my stomach churning more with each corner. Snapes footsteps are so silent I think I'm imagining him. In my haze I bump into as he stops outside his classroom.
"Snap-
"It's Draco, his mothers just been killed."
Snape says the words and the world that I lived in before I felt his cold grip on my shoulder drifts away as if insignificant. A new world crushes forward, breaking from the earth, into darkness. A world with no Narcissa Malfoy. A world in which snape knows of Draco and I.
"He's in the classroom now. I've just told him."
"But professor? What am I doing here?" I lie. Badly.
Snape raises and eyebrow at me and sighs before turning and walking away.
Draco's point of view.
Against the blurriness I see movement. A blackness approaches me. A weight drops beside me against the wall. A beautiful smell fills my nose. I think of home.
"Draco," she cries, a warm hand brushes the tears from my eyes and I see her leaning against the wall beside me. Her face is just as breath taking against the dim light. Tears run down her face as she brushes the fly away hairs away from my face. She speaks no words of comfort and I'm grateful. Instead she crawls onto my lap and wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face into my neck, crying heavily.
She whispers my name over and over again into my neck. She is the only thing in the world that could keep me afloat right now.
"Hermione," I whisper, my voice a hoarse impression of my voice before. She pulls back from my neck, leaning back against my thighs. Her wild hair has stuck to the tears and wetness that has covered her entire face. I brush it back over her ears and down over her shoulders. I can't help but smile as she cries more trying to rub away the snot on her nose. Her face is soft and wet and her lips are pink. I brush my thumbs over the bags under her eyes. Crying has turned her eyes a lighter shade of brown.
"God, you're so beautiful," I murmur. Not sure if I actually spoke. But she laughs. She laughs so hard I think I might cry at the sound of it. She laughs, leaning in close to me again. Her head of curls resting on my shoulder. I hold her tightly in my grip, rocking her back and forth.
"Hermione?" I ask, louder this time. A fresh stream of tears running down my face. The weight of her gaze makes my insides sweat.
"Can we go back?"
"Back Draco?" she questions. She falls forward, hitting her head a little to hard against mine. But she stays. She stays with her forehead leaning against mine.
"Back to when we were young? Just for tonight?" I beg, unable to grasp any hold on the tears falling freely.
She smiles.
"Tell me none of it was real and we can go back." She whispers. Her mouth just inches from mine. I feel her hot breath on my tongue and I want nothing more than to taste her sweetness against me. I want to feel the softness of her cheek against my mouth. I want her.
I know what she means and I know what she's asking. But if I say those words everything I've worked for the last 6 years will disappear and she knows that. Everything I've done to protect her. Every wall I've built between us will fall as if made of glass.
I try to lean into her warmness but she pulls back slightly and I know she'll keep pulling back until I say it. She wipes away the tears from my face but it's useless, fresh ones find the old ones path nonetheless.
"Drac-
"None of it was real," I say. "I lied. I've been lying to you for the last 6 years."
I lean into her warmness finally. Her mouth is an oasis in the hottest desert and I drink it in. She is heroine in the needle and I'm not ashamed of it. I desperately kiss her until I can't taste anything that isn't her. My hands knot in her hair as I pull her greedily closer. She pulls back, placing a finger on my mouth.
"Why?" she asks, tears forming in her eyes again.
"I wanted to keep you safe. I wanted to keep you alive. Safe and Alive means away from me." I try to pull her lips back to mine but again, her hands push against my chest.
"Hermione it's not an easy thing to expla-
"I'm in love with you."
The words. I watch as the tears drip off of her chin onto my lap. They form a wet circle on my pants.
"Hermione don't say th-
"I have been since we were young." She speaks words of ice against the heat of a fire.
"Hermione, please. I can't let anything come of this. My world is not a world for you."
"Is it true?" She screams, clenching her slightly bucked teeth together.
"is what-
"ARE YOU A DEATH EATER?"
My heart sinks. It's not something that's a shock to anybody else but her. Everyone had known my father was a death eater and naturally thought I would be one too.
I don't answer but it's answer enough for her. To my surprise she leans her head slowly towards mine, touching her forehead against mine before slipping her lips close to my ear.
"I love you, Draco Malfoy. I always will."
It's in the moment that I think she alone can change the world. She could stop this war. Hermione Granger. Forget Potter, or Weasel. I believe she could do it. That determination and the look in her eyes could change the world.
Hours later we find our way back to our dormitory. Back to my bed. I find her heat and her warmth and I savour it for hours. She says my name just like she did in the classroom but this time it's faster and more demanding. When she falls off of me, heavy. I say the words I've only ever told my mother and she smiles, her eyes heavy and bright. She tells me she knows. She tells me she's always known.
I tell her all the words she wants to hear. I tell her all the words I want to tell her. I tell her everything. Everything that I've ever wanted to say. I tell her it all. I tell her again and again those three words until I fall asleep and even in my dreams I tell her.
I say the things and ask things of her I know I shouldn't. But she agrees to all of them.
When I think she's sleeping I ask her never to leave. I ask her to stay. I tell her I need her. I tell her she's the only thing that I've been living for.
When I'm just about to fall asleep she whispers one last thing. The final words. The ones that changed everything.
"Make your mother proud Draco."
It's like 3am where I am now so I'm sorry it's so shit and there is probably a DOZEN of grammer and spelling mistakes but what can you expect huh? I'm a 20 year old whos drinking coke scrolling tumblr at 3am haha
Anyways review if you want.
Love you all :)