CHAPTER SIX

JUNE 1865

Three months had passed since Sannan drank the Ochimizu. Three months, we'd lived at Nishi Hongwanji. There were more rooms so it wasn't as cramped as before, but it seemed empty more than anything else. Chizuru had voiced that she grew tired more often than usually doing chores, because there was farther to walk and easy to get lost in. What really bothered me though was how much farther our rooms were to everyone else's. If anything were to happen the closest captain was Saito and well, at this point he was the last person I'd wanted to talk to. Thankfully, Harada offered to continue my training so the only thing I missed was silent conversations. Harada was sweet and had offered to listen to me whenever I had an opinion about something, but there were days where I felt like he would talk so much in the middle of training. Saito was almost always quiet, choosing to lead my example and manipulating my stance simply by moving me on his own and waiting for muscle memory to begin. It was hard not to compare the two.

Harada specialized in using a spear, but that didn't mean that he didn't know how to use a sword properly. We had run into some bumps when it came to my using my left hand and he'd once asked me if I could just start using my right hand to make it easier on him. I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. Truthfully, it would have been very easy for me as well to use my right hand since I wasn't technically let-handed, just copied from Saito. But I was still using his Kodachi, so it felt wrong to use it in any other way.

Chizuru had just returned from patrol with Heisuke's unit and I'd been bored since she'd left. There wasn't much to do today so I'd spent most of my day waiting for her to return. It was a little silly to only spend time with one person, but all the captains could ever talk about was Itou. Enough was said about him the first day he appeared. "Kurosawa-san!" I turned to see Chizuru waving from the other side of the walkway, "Could you help me with tea?" She could obviously do it herself no problem, but I could tell she'd slowly become worried for me over the last few months. I followed her to the kitchen and began prepping the water. "Chizuru, you worry about me too much," I took her hands over the tea leaves and frowned at her, "If anything, you should be thinking more about your father and helping the Shinsengumi."

Ever since my last brush with death, she'd been even more attentive. Chizuru had completed most of the chores, choosing to wake up earlier and going to bed later to clean. She did more than enough for the both of us before I ever had a chance to do my part. She seemed to look guilty for a moment before smiling again. "Then you should be more concerned with remembering, right?"

Now I was the guilty one. The only thing I didn't remember was how I got here in the first place, not that I was over concerned about it. With the Shinsengumi, it was the first time I ever felt important or a part of something bigger than myself. Here, I was well cared for and although some relationships were more tumultuous than others there were friends, doors away from my own and more than willing to support me if I needed them. It was more than any home had ever offered. The Shinsengumi had seemed to detect that and accept it quietly as no one had brought up my sudden and questionable appearance since those first few weeks. Maybe Chizuru wasn't as perceptive. "I have no intention of leaving the Shinsengumi to discover my origins."

The bluntness of it all seemed to catch her off guard as she nearly dropped the tea leaves. "Really?"

I nodded, "Even if I had a home before this one, there is nothing that could compare to the live I'm living now. I wouldn't go back even if someone offered me a hundred billion Yen."

She nodded, acknowledging my statement for the truth it was. Yeah, how could I leave them all now, or ever? "I bet you're staying because of Okita, right?"

I blushed and pushed her hands away lightly. It was a good natured jest, but not far from the truth. Becoming attached to Okita of all people, especially considering the circumstances of my first couple of months here, had not been something I had considered a possibility. But, I found myself enjoying his teases and small smiles he would pass my way. Occasionally the thoughts of what he would say to me in the hidden corners of the compound snuck their way into everyday tasks, not completely unlike now. Chizuru dropped the subject after that.

Later in the day, I decided to go on patrol with Okita. Although wearing the Hakama that I wasn't very fond of became mandatory for these trips, spending time with the 1st division captain was quickly becoming worth it. The group remained in a comfortable silence, Okita and I exchanging glances every now and then.

Author's Note: I have to admit that I have lost far too much inspiration for this story. Instead of pumping out chapter after chapter, I hit a roadblock and have since been unable to write. Since I had chapters still unpublished I figured it would be easy to just play through the game or watch the anime again and perhaps refresh my adoration for this story but nothing so far. This is super unfair to the story so I will keep writing until I feel it come to an appropriate end. But, chapters may be published farther apart than usual and be shorter. Maybe after all this is over, I'll go back and try to edit it justly but for now... I'll take what I can get. Thanks so much for your support thus far!

Also please keep in mind that even after this story is completed and the Shinsengumi arc is over, Kagami's story will continue, so please continue to support this OC that is so close to my own heart!