A/N: Welcome to chapter 4 of Turning Pages. Thank you to the reviews that I currently have. You have no idea how excited I was when I saw that I have my first review ever! So I see that there are a lot of you reading and I totally appreciate it. Please continue to read my story and review and or message me because those things would make me very happy. Anyway thank you so much for reading my story and I hope you enjoy this new chapter.
I think at some point when you have cried so much your eyes grow tired and they can't produce anymore tears. I kept telling myself that what I did was right but I the more I say that the less I believe it. To make believe it more I try to think of why. But even the why makes no sense. No matter what I tell myself I still can't find a good reason not to tell him the truth. I stand up and think of going to find him but then I sit back down. I can't just go and tell him that I've changed my mind now. I just stare at the ceiling a few minutes feeling defeated. When suddenly the door opens; I secretly hope that it's Vincent so that I can tell him why I said what I said but then I hope it isn't because then he will see that I am a complete mess. When the door fully opens I see that it is my brother Sage. I quickly wipe my eyes and say "Hey Sage. What are you doing here?" My brothers rarely visit the library which is what I enjoy most about it. I get to have one place that is all mine. I am curious that he decides to stop by.
"I grew bored. I knew you would be here so I came by. But I wasn't expecting your eyes to be that red." I knew I could wipe away the tears but I forgot about my eyes. "Do you want to talk about it Page," he says staring at me curiously. I realize that I have never cried in front of one of my brothers. At least only Sage has gotten to see me like this.
"I….no I don't want to talk about it," I say sniffling. I would love to talk to someone but Sage and I aren't as close as I am to Ash. I don't know if I should trust him with this or not.
"That's fine. Well I shall browse while I am here." He says looking closely at a shelf of books. I walk over to another and randomly pick out a book. When I turn to look at the cover I see it is the same book of poetry that Vincent had been reading when he told me he loved me. Seeing it now only adds to my guilt. I open the book and begin to read. I was pretty far in the book when Sage says, "And my heart really drops when I hear your voice. My heart made the perfect choice. I now and forever will always devotedly love you." My head shoots up from the book I was so engrossed in at those words, the words that broke a heart. I turn around and see that Sage is holding the black book that Vincent gave me. "It's a beautiful poem Page. He must have worked so hard on it. Maybe not that hard considering he loves you very much and this entire book is filled with poetry about you. He seems pretty perfect since he seems to be a bit nerdy like you," Sage says with a smile. "Now I know he didn't turn you down because here he is telling you that he loves you. So that leaves me wondering why you are crying Princess." I blink a few times trying to process what he just said. I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the question and answers that are to come.
"It's a long story Sage and I don't think you would be that interested in it," I say hoping he won't make me tell him.
"But Page that is why I asked what was wrong. I am interested and I want to help," he says. I stare at him very confused by his words. There is no way he can be serious. I don't even know if I should trust him with this. I sigh. He has already seen me at my most vulnerable point I guess I might as well give him an explanation, I think. I take one last breath, wipe away a stray tear and begin to tell the tale of my love of a Winter Fey and why I turned him down. I tell Sage about the dance and how Vincent's eyes captured me. I even told him about the garden but I did not disclose its location. I told him about the kiss and Vincent's face as I lied to him. "But the question is if you are so in love with him then why would you tell him no Page. Personally I think you played with his emotions and led him on. Now I know that you are definitely related to Rowan." Sage says sounding very disappointed with me.
"Hey! I am nothing like Rowan. I just…couldn't when he told me," I say offended.
"That is what I don't understand I mean how you could just…." He stops suddenly and I just stare at him for a few minutes waiting for him to continue.
"What is it Sage," I ask when he is silent for much longer.
"I think, Page, that you just froze when he told you. I think you wanted to say it but you just….I think that you are one of those humans that have a hard time saying I love you. I mean even if you feel love for the other person it's just difficult for you. Would I be correct in my assumptions?" Sage says finally blurting it all out. I think for a moment and nod my head slowly.
"But why is it so hard Princess if you feel so strongly for him," Sage inquires.
"He's like a little terrorist. He just came into my life and destroyed everything that I thought my existence was going to be and all that change scared me. It's like when I first arrived everything about me changed when I walked in here and now he offering me something different and it's scary. But I love it also. I hate the way he makes me feel. Whenever we are together I feel different. It's like I've been high on some drug and I'm so happy and I can't wait to see him again. Then when I do get to see him I worry about how I look and what I am going to wear and a bunch of other things that I don't usually care about. You see what he does to me he makes me think about all kinds of things that don't matter and drives me completely crazy," I say a little out of breath by the time I'm finished.
Sage just smiles at me and says, "Princess that is what normal individuals like to call love. It makes us do, think and say all kinds of things we don't want to do, think, and say. But because you are an abnormal individual love made you tell the one you love that you didn't. I also think a bit of fear of the unknown crept in there as well. I don't think you wanted to discover what it would be like to love someone," Sage says.
I smile at him and say, "You don't hang around me that much and yet you seem to know me better than I know myself."
He smiles and says, "It would seem so. But I don't think that's it. I think I am just merely observant of you and your current behaviors."
I shake my head at him. "Oh that was such a good brother-sister moment. You could have just nodded and let the moment stay Sage," I say teasing.
"Oh I could have but what fun would that be," he says smiling. I walk over to him and do something I have never done with my brothers, not even Ash; I hug Sage and say, "Do not take this the wrong way but thanks Sage."
He hugs me back and says, "No problem Page. That's what brothers are for right."
I let go and we stand there for a moment before he says, "Well now it's time for solutions. I think you should tell him tomorrow if you can. But you have to explain everything you just explained to me Page. I know it's going to be hard for you but I think that is the only way to mend his broken heart."
I nod in understanding. "Do you think he will believe me?" I ask.
Sage ponders the question for a moment and says, "I don't know but you will have to make him believe. If I were in his position I wouldn't be nearly as friendly to you as I was before and I would be cautious of you messing with my emotions again. I mean you let him kiss you twice and then you end up telling him that you don't have feelings for him, I would have a hard time believing anything you tell me."
I stare at him and say, "Can I have a little encouragement please Sage?"
"Oh yeah your right I should tell you something to get you through. Well he should be able to sense your honesty all you have to do is be as vulnerable then as you were now and he should think you are telling him the truth," he says.
"What if he doesn't?" I ask.
Sage shrugs and says, "Let us cross that bridge when we get there Princess." I nod and feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
"I shall be off now Page I have had my fill of entertainment for tonight. Let me know how everything turns out and I won't tell a soul about this. You can trust me on that." He says as he makes his way to the door. "Are you coming out too or are you going to stay in here a little longer. If you stay I highly recommend you read the book he gave you. Your lover is a fantastic writer I think you would like what is in there," he says.
"I'm staying and I was planning on reading it," I say walking over to the book and holding it tight in my hands.
"Very good then, I'll see you later Page."
"Later Sage." I hear the door close behind him and I sit down in my new favorite chair in the library and open up the book. Every last page is filled with a poem and they are all about one thing and one thing only. They are all about me and about his love of me. I spend the rest of the night reading. When I went to bed that night I thought endlessly about what I had come to think of as our poem. I read it more than all the others and had it memorized by the time I put my head down on my pillow. I went to sleep that night repeating the words: I will now and forever always devotedly love you.
I wake up again just like the day we were first together with a decision to make. I lie down for a few minutes and think of what I should do. Sage was correct I should go to him but I worry that today may be too soon. But if I wait any longer I might let the right moment pass me by. I give a sigh and roll out of bed. I take a long shower to contemplate what I am about to do one last time. I get out and go to my closet because I think the time has come for Page Daniels to be brave. I put on my favorite silver dress with dark grey branches weaving themselves throughout the bust of the dress and then disappear in the silk of the skirt only to reappear at the very edges. I even go as far as to put on make-up. I go really simple with it though because I don't want him to notice that I'm trying harder. I put on eye liner, lip-gloss and a light silver eye shadow. I go to the mirror and do a spin. After I am pleased with myself I walk out the door and think of where I can find him. I know it's unlikely that he won't be there but I check the library first. When I discover that he has obviously not visited the library I quickly pick up the black book he gave me. I then walk out of the castle into the bitter cold of the Winter Court. I remember that path Vincent and I took on our first date and I am met once more with a dead end. I don't know the words and that frustrates me. I bang my fist on the rock that blocks my way and I see it wave slightly as it tells me that there is magic surrounding it. I stand back and try to use Glamour to force it open. I do just as Ash told me to do; I take a deep breath and inhale the magic around me. I let it build up inside of me and then I force it back out. I blow on the rock blocking my way sending a flurry of ice towards it. But when I open my eyes to see my work I had just frosted over the boulder only hiding it more and not taking the magic away. I stop my foot hard into the snow and then just turn my back on it. I wanted to find him but I don't know where else he would be. I make my way back to the castle but as I walk through the forest I feel as if I have given up too fast. I think of all of this when I suddenly bump into something I look up and see its Vincent. I smile and say "Sorry about that I guess I wasn't watching where I was going."
"Apparently not Princess," he says lacking the same sweetness in his voice that I always find so comforting about him.
"Um…I was actually trying to find you. There was something I wanted to talk to you about," I say nervously.
He stares at me for a moment and then says "Sure Princess I see you tried to get inside," he nods toward the "door" to his world. "You used the wrong technique frosting over that wouldn't even put a dent in the spell I have over that thing." I nod and follow him on the path back to the doorway. "So I see you kept my book." He says dryly.
"Yeah I did. I think that first poem is my favorite. I love the others of course too," I say not looking him in the eye.
"I'm glad you enjoyed them. I made every last one special for you," he says looking ahead with no warmth in his eyes. We reach the doorway he offers me his hand and I take it as we walk through the door. I am always amazed by the beauty of the garden but it doesn't affect me the same way it did before. I guess Vincent did make me happy maybe not in the way he intended but being with him has been amazing.
"So what did you want to talk to me about Princess," Vincent says while folding his arms over his chest. I have reached the moment of truth so I take a deep breath and I ready myself to tell him everything I told Sage. "I wanted to talk to you about last night. I have some things to explain about what I told you," I say. I see him raise one eyebrow in confusion and then nod for me to continue. "Will you walk with me?" I ask.
"Sure." He says leading the way.
"So about last night, I was just…I lied to you about how I felt. You told me everything in the most beautiful way and I wanted so badly to tell you the truth but then I got scared and I lied and I shouldn't have because I knew it would hurt you. I shouldn't have hurt you because the truth is that I really care about you and…."
"Stop," he says interrupting me and he stops walking. I stop as well and just stare at him for a moment.
"What?" I say confused.
"Just stop Page. Listen you can't just come up to me and tell me that you have changed your mind. I poured my heart out to you last night and you just stomped on it and you expect me to believe you now. How do I know that you are not lying to me again?" he says with much hurt in his eyes.
"I could promise you that I'm not." I say desperation sinking into my voice. I need him to believe me.
His eyes widen and he says "No you can't, you know how serious those are in this world it would bind you to that promise forever."
I smile and say "It's my mouth of course I can. Vincent I promise I…" I can't continue because he puts his hand over my mouth.
He looks deep into my eyes and says with worry "You have no idea what you're doing Princess. Promises here aren't like promises in your world. In the NeverNever you have to keep them or else. I don't want you to be bound like that."
I take his hand away and say confidently "It's not your choice to make because if that's what it takes for you to believe me then I will promise you anything." I need him to hear the truth and I'm willing to do whatever for him.
"Princess you can't do that."
"I can and I will," I say defiantly. "Vincent I promise I will never lie to you." I say. I have never promised anything in the NeverNever before. It didn't feel any different than making a promise in the real world but because you know it hold more here you feel something sink inside you. "Why would you do that?" he asks concern in his eyes.
"I need you to believe me and now you know you can trust what I say."
"I would have trusted you without it."
I shake my head and say, "Now look who's the liar. If I hadn't done it you would have just walked away."
"Remember Princess I'm full Fey I can't lie."
"Whatever. What's done is done. Now, ask me something." I say prepared for anything.
He just stares at me for a moment and then gives a sigh and says "Princess do you love me?"
I take a deep breath and truthfully say "Yes, I love you Vincent."
His eyes widen and he says "If I didn't know better I wouldn't believe you. But I want to so badly."
I laugh and say "You should because its true and I'm just like you now I can't lie and when it comes to how I feel about you I won't have to lie. Oh and Vincent you have to call me Page."
He smiles and says "Fine." Then just as before he pulls me close and before I know it his lips are on mine. I gladly accept it. I don't have to pull away like before and I don't want to. From now on I intend to keep him close. When we let go he smiles and whispers "I love you Page," in my ear. I laugh and say "I love you too Vincent"
"Walk with me?" he says taking my hand and leading me down the path again. As we walk I see a smile both on his lips and in his eyes. I smile too and I realize how much I missed his smile. "When did you know?" I ask. He smiles at me and says "I knew that night, when we danced. I think it really was at first sight. I saw you and I decided to talk to you and then I fell. I had seen you at the parties before. You were always so quiet. So I was curious and I'm glad I danced with you Page." He kisses me cheek and asks me, "When did you know?"
"I was curious about you as well that night. Gosh I thought you were perfect. When we were here the first time and we kissed you had me. You just scared me a little bit because I liked you so much. Then when you left I was so sad. So I came here and I had to tell you."
He holds my hand and says "I'm glad you did."
"I think you have completed your challenge." He looks at me a little confused and I say "Remember you said you would make me happy the first time we came here. Well you sir have succeeded. I mean look at me I'm not laughing or anything."
"I also remember you saying that we were best friends. I hope you have changed that by now" I laugh and say "Yeah it's all over my Facebook status. It says Page Daniels is now in a relationship."
"Wait your what?" he says confused.
"Oh I forgot you have never been in the real world. I'll explain all of that to you later."
"That's good because I want to know everything about you."
"And you as well." I say smiling brightly.
"What's your favorite color?" he says excitedly.
"I see you waste no time. I love blue. I used to love the beach. I liked the clear water. I'm also kind of fond of deeper blues. I like an electric blue the best though."
He smiles at me and says "I like a forest green. I know that seems kind of weird given the circumstances but I love the color. I always felt really at home in the forest. That's why I hid the garden here. I love this place of course. I'm sure you realize how happy it can make you."
"Yeah don't I know it. When did you first find the garden?"
"I found it when I was a kid. I was running away from my dad and I was really sad. I came here and I was happy again. The garden was like my drug. I never had a good relationship with my family so the garden was my place to escape. It's like your library. I hoped the garden would take me some days like it almost took you." He gets a faraway look in his eye. I can see him going back to that place long ago. I squeeze his hand a little to let him know that I'm here for him. He looks down at me and smiles then pulls me close and says "But that's all over now because I have you" He kisses my forehead and that makes me smile. We continue walking for a awhile just talking. Soon he stops and says "I just thought of something Page."
"What is it?" I say looking up at him.
"I didn't promise you anything."
"You don't have to Vincent. Like you said promises here are binding."
"But you were willing to bind yourself to me. I want to do the same but to you."
"Vincent you can't possibly."
"I can and I will" he says mocking me.
I laugh and say, "Oh fine, just don't do anything stupid." He smiles and takes my hands so that I can face him. "Page I promise that I will always love you."
I smiled and hug him. "Okay so that wasn't stupid." He held me close and love how warm he is. I'm glad for Vincent because he is the one warm thing in the coldest place in the world.
Elysium is fast approaching. This year it is being held right here at home. I enjoy it more than the Summer Court simply because I hate traveling all the long way just to sit in a different chair. Unfortunately, because its tradition I can't skip it and I must wear a really huge dress and actually talk to a few people. None of this am I particularly excited about but I have Vincent so I shall hang out with him for the majority of the evening. He and I haven't made our relationship very public yet and I like it that way. The last thing I need is my mother finding out and getting involved though I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't already know. I have two maids helping me prepare for tonight. Today is probably the only day where what I look like actually matters. They start with my makeup. They gently put on the foundation to match my dark skin and silver looking eyes shadow to set off the dark eye liner. They lightly curl my hair and pull two braids around my head to make a crown. I turn around to face the mirror and I must say they did a great job. "Do you like it princess?" one maid says nervously. "Yes, you've done a great job." I say giving her a reassuring smile. She smiles and we both turn to see my second maid bring me a selection of dresses. One is a light blue with white lace sleeves. The bodice of the dress has beautiful snowflake lace print while the skirt is a shimmering simple silk. It reminds me of a still crystal lake. I spot that one first and it is the best of the choices. I point it out and she quickly put s the others away and help me into it. I look at myself and smile. They really did do a great job. I look like a princess. I bring myself back to reality before I get swept away. "That is all" I say dismissing them both. They nod and leave. I stare for a moment longer and even twirl around in the dress then laugh at how ridiculous I'm being. The door opens and it's my brother Ash. "Wow" he says.
"You like it?" I say
"Yeah you look great princess" He says with a grin. "I came here because I have just received some very…disturbing news" he says growing serious.
"What is it?" I ask a little worried about what it could be.
"I can't tell you she told me not to." He says leaning against the wall and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Who told you not to?" I ask suspiciously.
"You know who." He says referring to the Queen.
"Why can't I know about it?" I question.
"Because it's supposed to be a surprise and I'm just saying that you should act happy about it even if you're not"
"But can't you give me a hint?"
"All I can say is that you should act like you're enjoying yourself tonight and when the news is revealed be happy and smile"
"Fine I will" I don't understand what my mother's little surprise is but I know it can't be good. "Well now that that is settled are you ready to go?" he says offering his arm.
"Yeah let's go bro." he laughs and we walk out together. The Winter Court is always at its most beautiful during this time of year. It turns into what it truly means to have a Winter Wonderland. We enter a beautiful ballroom covered in silver and blue decorations and of course snow and the most beautiful crystals. "Now I remember the one thing about Elysium that I actually like." I say. I leave Ash to enjoy the rest of the evening as I find my usual chair and take a seat. This particular even last longer than all the others so I bring a book to entertain myself with when I eventually grow bored. I take it out and begin to absorb myself into its world. I brought out of it by a shadow hanging over me. I look up to see the once and only Summer Prince. I saw him at the last Elysium and like most Fey he hasn't aged a day. He is still tall with light blonde hair and striking blue eyes. I think he is where people get the term Prince Charming. I decided that was what I was going to call him. His name however is Aaron. "Hello Princess." He says flashing a smile. "Hey" I say in the blandest way possible. First of all I really don't feel like taking part in the traditional dance that he and I are forced to do every Elysium and second of all I hate that he interrupted my book. Its thoughts like this that make me question Vincent's judgment in liking me. He obviously didn't realize that the reason I never participate in Fey activities is because I have a tendency to dislike other individuals. I smile when I think of Vincent. I shouldn't have because it only opened up the window for him to ask me to dance. I should really learn to control myself. I have no choice now so I take his hand and we dance. After we dance for a while he says "I have surprise for you." I raise one eyebrow finding the whole situation immediately very suspicious. "Oh do you now?" I say.
"Yep and I think you will love it." He says with a grin.
"Now why would a Summer Prince have a favorable surprise for a Winter Princess? The whole situation tells me that I won't like it." I say trying to stare the answer out of him. So Ash knows what it is and so does Aaron but the question is why don't I. I hate surprises.
"Well I must admit it's not all my surprise. Mostly it's Oberon and Mab's but you and I are involved in it." He says with a grin.
"If it's a surprise how come you know about it?" I ask as he turns me.
"Well it's a surprise for you. I'm not even supposed to be telling you that there is one." He says mischief flowing through his eyes.
"If you tell me I can bet you I will act surprised." I say.
He shakes his head no and laughs a little. "I can't but if I were to give a bit of advice I would smile when they tell you and even smile a little now because here it comes." The music stops and we all turn to see King Oberon with Queen Titania and Queen Mab standing together before everyone. I catch my mother's eyes and she smiles at me and I smile back. My mother and I don't have the best relationship. She is nothing like me. I don't even look like her. We both have long black hair but she is pale with a heart of ice and she radiates power. Even though the cold doesn't bother me I know that her very presence can chill a room. I on the other hand am tanner than she is and I don't think myself cold but I shut people out so I don't have to be. She and I have many differences. We never have been close. I hate that brought me here to the Winter Court and she hates that I ice her out. But what would she expect from a Winter Fey.
Everyone gathers around to hear what our rulers have to say. They all smile together and Mab speaks first. "Far too long our courts have been separated and have had such unneeded tension between us,"
"But that is coming to an end tonight," Oberon says finishing her sentence.
"Tonight is a night of celebration for every Fey in all of the NeverNever. Tonight we unite the courts and the feud will go on no longer," Queen Titania says. Throughout the crowd are mumbles and even a few shouts of outrage. "Silence!" King Oberon booms. Everyone calms themselves. I'm confused and I bit intrigued. I was so sure that Tir Na Nog would boil before such an event was to occur. "Now as a symbol of our new found peace our youngest have agreed to be wed to each other. Their union shall unite the Seelie and Unseelie Courts forever." says King Oberon smiling proudly. Suddenly everyone turns to look at Aaron and I and I remember Ash's advice. I smile and Aaron takes my hand and pulls me closer to him. We smile and pretend that we actually like each other. I try my best to look happy but my eyes keeps wandering over to Vincent standing alone in a corner as he looks the way that I feel. In his eyes I don't see the usual happiness that I love but I see despair and a profound sadness. I wish to run to him and yell 'I didn't agree to anything. I didn't even know about this until today. I didn't lie to you. Please believe me.' But none of that is possible with everyone's eyes on me I have to do what I've always done and that is to freeze it all out.
A/N: So that was shocking. I told you I would get Queen Man in here somehow. I even added in a few Summer characters since I made you wait so long. I really am sorry that this update took so long but I got school stuff and that takes up all of my energy. I'll try to be more frequent with my updates but I can't promise anything. Anyway, tell me what you think. Please continue to read and review. Thanks from Maria and Page.