Part Two: He Should Have Taken Him Out

Hyde woke up first the next morning with a troupe of angry Russians doing their angry Russian dance all across his skull and the feeling that those same angry Russians had killed off some poor, hapless (but well-deserving of death) politician and left him to rot in his mouth. Just how much had he drunk last night, anyway? He looked over and saw Kelso curled up on the couch, mouth parted slightly, hair sticking straight out in some places. Before he knew it was happening, an honest-to-god smile broke out on his face.

Damn, he thought. There went his plans of just asking Kelso to punch him so they could forget it all for a second time.

He ascended the stairs slowly, smelling breakfast sausage and being struck by the sudden craving for about ten of them dipped in maple syrup. Okay, so maybe that's not such a good idea...

"Damn it!" Red exclaimed, all but throwing his newspaper down on the kitchen table. "I know you don't like to shower Steven but, god, you reek!"

"Now sweetie," Kitty said, placing a plate of pancakes down on the table top. "That's not very ni-..." The word dyed on her tongue once she caught a whiff of Hyde, who was looking just a bit more disheveled than usually. "I have just the thing," she said, letting out her usual nasal, nervous laugh. "Lavender and chamomile scented soap!"

By this time Eric was eyeing him oddly, the plate of eggs in his hand shaking ever-so-lightly as he drew the most obvious conclusion about his friend's appearance. "Oh god!" he cried out, nearly dropping his plate in haste as he all but dived into the basement.

"What the hell is he yammering on about?" Red asked, eyes narrowing, newspaper crumpling from where he was clutching it so tightly. "Something about a poor washing machine?"

Hyde covered up the chuckle by allowing it to turn into a rough cough. "Aw, you know those crazy kids and their back-asswards devil music these days," he said, sitting down and helping himself to Eric's eggs, after earning himself an odd look from Kitty.

---

Kelso had been just about to drift back off to sleep when he jumped up, letting out a (very, very manly) little girl scream as Eric jumped, clearing the last four stairs and landing with a heavy thud on the basement floor. "Um... Hey, man," he said, as Eric gave him the Stink-Eye. "Morning?"

Eric shook his finger at Kelso, mouth opening and closing but no words coming out.

Kelso just grinned. "Yeah," he said. "We did it last night! It was like deja vu all over again."

Eric threw his hands in the air. "That's it!" he cried. "I'm letting Donna handle this by herself this time!"

"You're letting me handle what now, Eric?"

Both Kelso and Eric yelped in unison as the basement door opened. "What's going on now?" Donna asked, gaze flickering back and forth between the two.

"Ask him!" Eric squeaked with a point of his finger, darting up the basement stairs as soon as the redhead's attention had been diverted from him.

"Did you have sex with Hyde again?" Donna asked bluntly.

"Well, um... Sort of?"

Donna rolled her eyes. "What do you mean 'sort of', Kelso? How can you 'sort of' do somebody?"

"Well," Kelso responded sheepishly, "it was really Hyde who was doing all of the doing last night, if you know what I mean."

Donna gasped, gears turning swiftly in her head. "That completely changes everything..." she murmured.

"Wait, what do you mean?"

She took in a deep breath before speaking up again. "See," she began, "the first time 'this' happened, I started flipping through some self-help books and I had this really strong theory going about how Hyde must have some sort of long-repressed feelings-" -Kelso recoiled noticeably at the word- "-for you, but now, now..."

"What?" Kelso asked. "Now what?"

Donna sighed irritably. "Why don't you think about it?" she said. "You're the one who's had sex with him on two separate occasions now, not me. I mean, come on! If you weren't interested in him, or at least guys in general, do you honestly think we'd be standing here having this conversation right now? I know at least one of you feels something for the other!"

"You know Donna, that is such a great question," said a new voice, dripping with icy sarcasm. Donna and Kelso both started when Hyde came up behind them, sliding his sunglasses in place so that his eyes were obscured, something that made his mood about one-hundred-percent more difficult to read.

"Hyde, I-" Donna was at a loss for what to say. She couldn't see what had Hyde so upset.

"Dude-"

Kelso was cut off by Hyde making a sharp little gesture. "I'm out of here," the Zen master muttered, jamming his hands into his pockets.

Donna and Kelso just stared at each other. "I think we're in trouble," the girl finally said, voice soft. All Kelso could do was nod.

"Hey, what's going on? I heard the door slam." Eric came down (much calmer than he had been before), looking back and forth between Kelso and Donna. "Where'd Hyde go?"

"'Out' again," Donna replied simply.

"Should I be worried?" Eric asked.

Kelso shrugged. "I dunno..." At this, Donna reached over and smacked him on his upper arm. "Ouch! What!"

"I don't believe you," Donna found herself saying, reminiscent of the last time the three of them had all been together in the basement like this.

"What?" Kelso said again.

"Look," Eric said, "I'll go out after Hyde. Why don't you two just... talk about things."

Donna nodded. "That's a good idea. Thanks Eric." Kelso didn't seem to share her sentiments.