A/N: Epic Resurrection! This is for lawaigirl for giving me the sweetest PM I've ever read, and minerthreat for the latest review. It inspired me to come back to this.

Act 1

Chapter 18

"The Price of Freedom"

Two days he had been cramped in the tiny guest room. His only source to the outside world, the occasional visits from Danarius, which almost always ended in some form of pain. His master did not intend to let him forget the decision to save Hawke. Despite the tortures, despite the isolation, Fenris was doing his best to regain his strength. The Blood Magic ritual had left him weak. Too weak. At first, it had been difficult to even lift his head. Walking to the end of the bed had proved just as hard.

It surprised him that he allowed Lucius to even perform it. Blood Magic was by far the lowest of low, cavorting with demons to obtain your goal, but for Hawke...For Hawke he would do anything. That was why he was flexing his arms and legs, working his fingers, doing everything he could to bring the life that the mage had stolen back to his limbs.

That afternoon, Danarius returned to his chambers and Fenris showed him how well he had recovered. He was able to phase his lyrium. He was able to swing his sword, but didn't let on how woozy it left him. "Very good," Danarius said. "Very good, indeed. You have been working hard. I am meeting with Crucius. It is time my bodyguard returned to his duties."

That was fine with him. Leaving the room and finding Hawke was at the top of his priorities. He needed to see her, to hold her, to know with certainty that she had survived the ordeal unscathed. "I am ready," he told his master. Even just a glimpse of her would squash the nervousness inside him. He had been told that Leland was taking excellent care of her. Well, he had better be. And if one hair on her was touched against her will, Fenris would not be accountable for his actions, nor did he care about the consequences.

After dressing in his usual garb, he accompanied Danarius to Crucius' study. His eyes shifted, traveling over every hallway and room they passed, unsure where Hawke would be. Once inside the meeting room, Fenris noticed Leland sitting in a far corner, his eyes boring into his. Maybe a hint of jealousy hung in them. If he cared for Hawke has he let on, there should be. She was his, and nothing Leland did would change that.

He took his place against a back wall, and noted that Crucius also had a guard in the room. Usually, the magister wasn't as paranoid as Danarius. This could either be a sign of something to come, or coincidence. Fenris eyed the man. He was dressed in light armor, with a longsword at his hip. When he noticed Fenris' stare, he palmed the hilt, giving him a slight smirk. He could smirk all he wanted. It wouldn't save him from having his heart pulled out.

"We have much to discuss," Crucius said. "Danarius has asked for Talla's hand. My seat of power is ending. I am old and have no desire to continue down this political path, but that does not mean that I want my work to fade into the dust. Leland you have never shown any interest in replacing me, and I know it offends, but I do not think that you are ready." He paused and looked at his son, who was silently fuming in the corner. "Is there anything you would like to say in your defense?"

Leland took a strong inhale through his nose, steadying his anger. After taking his moment, he stood with a calm he did not previously possess. "What you say is true, Father," he said, moving to stand in front of the window. As he looked out in the court he continued, "I have never shown interest in replacing you, but to be honest, I did not think it would ever happen. You have always seemed too large, immortal even. The thought of you no longer being able or willing to continue your seat in Miranthous seemed impossible. I have squandered the years I should have spent learning from you, thinking that I would have many more. For that, I am sorry." Fenris tightened his jaw, and looked away, not knowing how much of what he said was true or not. "I am ready to learn now," Leland said. "I know it may be too late, but I am ready to do what you need of me."

Crucius seemed touched by his son's words, holding back his emotions. "This pleases me," his father said.

Danarius had grown restless during Leland's speech. No doubt, realizing that his hold on Crucius was dwindling. If Leland inherited, his marriage to Talla would hold little benefit to him. Sure, she had social standing and connections, but nothing truly to bring him. Nothing she wasn't giving him now.

His master cleared his throat. "That is very heartfelt, Leland," Danarius smiled before turning to Crucius. "Regardless of your choice, I will keep my offer for Talla on the table. She is special to me. And with our bloodlines, the potential for our children would be insurmountable."

Desire flashed behind Crucius' eyes. Despite his attempts to seem like he was one of the better ones, he was the same, desiring power. And here, in Tevinter, magic was power.

Leland noticed too. "I have found a suitable bride father. One who carries magic within her blood as well. She holds none herself, but if what I've heard his true, the mages in her family are quite impressive."

His father squinted his eyes, and Fenris felt his stomach turning, hoping, praying, that his thoughts were wrong, that Leland couldn't be suggesting what he thought he was.

"Who have you found?" Crucius asked. Danarius was at his side looking at Leland with interest.

"You know her. You have seen her skill. You have even met her family." Leland turned towards his father and approached the table he sat at. "Let me buy Hawke's freedom. Let me give her the status that she deserves."

Crucius let out a strangled scoff. "What?" he screeched. "You mean to take a slave as your bride?"

If Danarius was put off by the idea, he didn't let it show. Fenris was lucky that he was still able to stand. This was the moment he'd hoped would never happen. Leland was offering Hawke something he would never be able to. He told himself that it wouldn't matter. Hawke was still his, no matter what Leland gave her, but then...he'd never expected this.

Hawke could be free. Have a life. With another man. Have a family. By someone else. Was he so selfish that he couldn't let her go to give her this? In his dreams, it had always been the two of them. Maybe building a home together. Raising a child together. Wandering the hills and fields, seeing the world. His throat had grown tight around unspilled emotions.

"She should never have been a slave to begin with!" Leland shouted. "Clayden made a cruel move by giving her up. If he hadn't, she would be the stepdaughter of a magister! And then, this discussion wouldn't even be happening! I could have her without your disapproving stare. You have seen how good she is for me. You have seen the way she inspires those around her. Let me have this and we will give you the bloodline you crave."

Crucius thought for a moment, but waved the offer away. "You talk as though it would be so easy. She does not belong to you or me. She is Danarius' bodyguard. And a skilled one at that."

"Perhaps something could be arranged," Danarius slithered out. "She is valuable, though. Much more valuable than what I initially paid for her. What are you prepared to give me in return?"

"Name your price," Leland said, but his father raised a silencing hand.

"Fenris," Danarius said. "Leave us. I have no further need of you. Retrieve Hawke. Tell her to wait outside the room until she is called."

With the heartache within him, he was surprised that he was able to even respond. "Yes, master," he said as he left.

His limbs felt heavy, his head was swimming. On its own accord, his body moved towards the slave houses, and he was grateful. Nothing he had experienced before, the pain from the lyrium, recuperating from the blood magic, the constant beatings, none of it could compare to the ache in his chest. It felt as though his heart was about to explode. For a fraction of a second, he considered reaching in and pulling it out himself. He should be happy for her. She was getting something neither of them had ever considered possible. But now, it would be without him, not together as they'd hoped.

He found her, walking out of the female slave quarters, rounding the building. With determined steps, he followed her. She stopped to speak to a frail elven woman. Fenris didn't know what she was saying to her, the only sound he heard was his own labored breathing.

Faster and with more aggression that he should have, he grabbed her arm, flinging her around. "What the-?" she said, resisting him. Once she realized it was him pushing her back into the wall of the building, she relaxed only a little. "Fenris? What's the matter? Are you alright?"

They hit the wall with a thud, and before Hawke's next question could be uttered, he crushed his mouth against hers. Initially, her hands and mouth remained stiff, confused and unsure of this sudden affection. When he brought a hand to her face, pushing into her and opening his mouth, she relaxed. He could feel her shuddering breaths as she opened herself up to him. One of her hands came to rest on his wrist at her face, her other through his hair. Her soft sigh brought heat down his body. This could very well be the last time he'd ever hold her, kiss her, or tell what she meant to him.

Despite the gentleness of their mouths, he could tell that his eyes were shut tight, his brow furrowed in pain. She pulled him closer to her, and he was embarrassed by the sudden, aching, groan he produced. One of her legs hooked around his, and he realized that he should stop. Danarius was waiting on her. What would happen if she were found this way with him? Pushed against a wall? Enjoying his affection? All of her chances for freedom may be lost.

He pulled back, pressing his forehead into her. Their heavy breaths mixed as he said, "I never gave up on us."

"Fenris?" she asked with a hint of fear. Her hand was rubbing his forearm, gently trying to ease him.

"Danarius waits for you in Crucius' study," he said, pushing off her.

"Okay," she said. "I should go now?" He gave her a curt nod. "Later," she told him breathlessly. "I will find you later."

He watched her go. No she wouldn't.

It had been hours since Hawke went to his master. Hours and not one word had been given on the outcome of that meeting. Had Danarius agreed? Had Hawke? He wasn't sure if she needed to. Even if she denied, and the price was right, Danarius would force her.

He lay on his cot, trying hard to find sleep, but unable to. The old man he shared a room with was snoring loudly. Fenris didn't even know his name, nor did her care to. He smelled and hacked up phlegm. The loud snores were nearly drowning out his thoughts, but unfortunately, not completely. Was Hawke happy by this decision? The idea made him sick with hurt and guilt. He could never give her this. Never.

In the morning, Leland would announce his decision. Fenris was sure of it. Was Hawke with him now? He hadn't seen her all evening, or Leland. They'd skipped dinner. Fenris couldn't get images of the two of them out of his head. If they were together, they'd been alone for a very long time. Long enough for things to happen. Repeatedly.

His door creaked and he knew that someone was entering, but he didn't care. Before he would have reached for his sword, and ignited his lyrium. Now, he couldn't find the will.

"Fenris," her voice whispered, and he shot up.

The firelight from the hallway illuminated her body. He could tell that she was wearing her sleep clothes. Tight shorts and a tank, exposing every one of her curves. Possessiveness soared through him. Who else had seen her this way? "Get in here," he commanded. She closed the door and moved to his bed. His roommate continued snoring, but he didn't want him to wake, so he kept his voice low. "Who else has seen you?"

"No one," she said. "I came straight from my quarters." Had she not been with Leland? He was about to ask, when she moved towards him and slipped under his covers. "I can't sleep," she whispered, settling in next to him.

He moved onto his side, so that they would have more room. Silently, they stared at one another. No doubt, both trying to memorize the other's features. She had to know of Leland's plans.

"Have they told you?" she asked, sounding on the verge of tears.

"Yes," he answered hoarsely.

"I don't want to do it," she said, now fully crying. "This isn't what I want."

It wasn't what he wanted either. But this was her chance, and it might be the only one she ever received. "I know," he said. "But it's freedom, Hawke. Real freedom."

Her cries grew a little louder, but they didn't disturb the sleeping man. "Is this what you want?" she asked him.

He couldn't lie to her. Not now. Not when there was so little time between them. "No," he said. "It isn't. But it's the best thing for you."

Under the blanket, she found his hand, and brought it to her cheek, cupping it to her. With reverence, she held it there, turning into it to give it a kiss. "It's not fair," she said through thick tears. "It isn't fair."

It wasn't. In a perfect world, it would be the two of them. Not wanting to add to her distress, he didn't tell her that, but brought his mouth to her forehead giving it a light kiss. Her chin jutted towards him, telling him that she wanted his mouth on hers. Slowly, he trailed his lips down her nose, before softly kissing her.

It was sweet and sincere, everything they felt for one another. It was I love you, and You were made for me, and Please don't forget me. Even with his eye closed, he knew that they both had pained expressions, trying to cling to this, vainly hoping that when dawn arrived they'd have a different life.

Hawke hooked her leg over his and slowly pushed him onto his back to straddle him. Through their thin sleep clothes, it was easy to feel one another, and Fenris grew instantly hard. Just once had he had the pleasure of being with her. Only once. And it was 1000 times too few.

While their kiss intensified, he reached down to her shorts and began pushing them down her hips. Hawke maneuvered her legs to allow him. Once she was free of them, she wasted no time, in releasing him by pushing down the waist of his pants. Fenris raised his hips to allow her, stifling a groan when she wrapped her hand around him.

With a languidly he didn't possess at the moment, she positioned him at her entrance and slowly slid down his length. Fenris threw back his head on a rushed breath, releasing her mouth. His hands went to her hips, gently holding her and she rose and fell above, loving him slowly. He watched her, captivated. Even in the dimness of his room, her beauty shone like a beacon. For a while, she had been his. If only for a short time, but it had made everything worth it. Loving her had been the best experience of his life.

Trying to take him harder, Hawke braced her hands on his chest, and bent over him, rolling her hips more frantically. Needing to be deeper, to feel every part of her, Fenris gripped her behind and took over. Thrusting up and down, he was only mildly aware that their loud breathing might wake the old man, but he didn't stop moving. Hawke made a whimper followed by a deep breathy moan. Afraid to wake their audience, Fenris said, "Give me your mouth."

She cradled his head, and did as he bid, letting him swallow her sounds of pleasure. When she was nearing her orgasm, Fenris felt a drop of moisture hit his face. He knew that it wasn't sweat. She was crying. This union was beautiful, wonderful, sad, and goodbye. He knew it. He'll never see her again.

A soft sob escaped her mouth as her body tensed. He could tell by the tightening of her limbs and muscles that he had given her what she needed. Leaving his mouth, she brought her lips to his ear, panting and grunting. It was enough to undo him.

As he came, tears hit his eyes. Not from the intensity of it, but from his deep sadness. This was it. She would be lost to him now.

He didn't know how long they lay holding one another. Despite, his fatigue, Fenris wouldn't let his eyes close. He simply held her, as close to him as he could, running his fingers along her spine. Hawke was giving him chaste kisses along his jaw and neck, unable to part from him either.

When it had been far too long, and they'd worn out their luck, Hawke whispered, "I have to go." Despite knowing it to be true, he tightened his arms around her. "I never gave up on us either, Fenris," she said. "And I never will."

She was trying to give him hope, but he couldn't feel it. He hugged her one last time and gave her shoulder a kiss. When she rose from the bed, he couldn't look at her. His eyes remained planted to the ceiling. Before leaving, she gave him one last kiss, which he barely had the strength to return. "I never will," she repeated.

The click of the door told him she was gone.

Additional A/N: I have no idea if there is still even interest in this story. I lost my old notes and outlines and only held a vague remembrance of where the story was going. Luckily, when I decided to write this, I found an old outline, hidden away in a forgotten email account. Thanks for everything!