Inside Elsa's room snow continued fall from the ceiling, creating an unearthly silence. The windows were covered in jagged, frozen layers, and icicles jutted out of the ghostly white floor like spears.
Elsa, curled in a ball on her bed, shook with fear and sorrow. Her blankets and pillows, now covered in ice, crunched as she turned her face and buried it deep into her frostbitten pillow. She let out a sob. She was afraid that she was losing control again. She felt guilty that she pushed Anna away, she was terrified that she had hurt Lena, and she was heartbroken by the news of her engagement.
Elsa couldn't even cry properly. Her tears froze before they could fall from her face and little icicles were now hanging from her porcelain cheeks.
She sobbed uncontrollably as she remembered all the moments she and Lena had spent together, from the first time they met to the accident this morning. She was devastated and heartbroken.
She felt like she was spiraling out of control and she didn't know what to do. No one knew that she fancied Lena, or that she fancied women. Anna was always trying to find her a suitor and planned dates for her with various princes and dukes. Anna was well intentioned; she wanted her sister to find true love like she had, but all of the encounters ended terribly.
The many fine gentlemen who courted her were kind and good, but she always pushed them away. If she saw them for longer than a few weeks, her interest quickly faded. Her feelings rarely even lasted more than three dates. She simply couldn't see them as more than a friend.
One particular dinner was a complete disaster.
Prince Wilfred of Kent. He was one of the few suitors whom Elsa found amiable. He was kind, intelligent, even a bit humorous, and although she hated to admit it, she did find him handsome.
However, once they sat down for their meal and began to talk, anything the Price said reminded Elsa of Lena. She spent nearly half of the meal recounting stories about Lena's quirks, the girl's devoted work ethic, and the many silly things she and Elsa had done in their time off, such as creating a blanket fort with pillows and ice. After nearly an hour of this, it was quite obvious that the Prince was tiring of listening to stories about a serving girl and in hopes of changing the subject, he decided to ask her to dance. He stood and walked over to Elsa and gently took her hand and asked if she cared to waltz, she politely agreed, but didn't seem too fond of the idea. They danced for the duration of the song, and once the music ended, Wilfred put his hand around Elsa's waist and pulled her close. She was obviously uncomfortable and she squirmed a bit to recreate the space between them, but he didn't notice. He slowly leaned in towards Elsa's soft lips in hopes of kissing her, but before they could lock lips, she forcefully shoved him away. And in the commotion, she accidentally knocked over the dinning hall table with a blast of ice, spilling food and red wine all over the Prince's ivory suit. Embarrassed, Elsa ran from the room and didn't look back.
After that, Anna realized that it was probably best that she stopped trying to find a suitor for her sister.
It wasn't until three years ago, when she learned to love her magic, that Elsa first felt attraction. She had been so shut off to anyone and everyone that she had locked off her heart as well. The first time she saw Lena after the great thaw, she felt an explosion of fireworks pulse through her entire body. Her world seemed to spin and Lena became to only person in the room who Elsa saw. But she was frightened by these feelings and she kept them secret.
Elsa feared if the truth was known, she would be exiled or forced to abdicate the throne. She knew that was unlikely, but she feared losing Anna, Kristoff, Lena, or the people of Arendelle's support if they knew. If she followed her heart, a phrase Anna frequently used, she worried about the consequences and she didn't want to be seen as more unusual than she already was.
Elsa knew she couldn't hide from these feelings forever, but she wished they would disappear. Once again she was filled with shame, doubt, and fear, and she knew that this was a dangerous combination with her powers.
*authors note* Sorry if this chapter was a bit rough, I wasn't too fond of it. It started sounding like a memoir of my life so I cut out quite a bit. Thanks everyone for reading, favoriting, and following, I really appreciate it. :)