Those Who Turn Their Backs to the Light

Fear is a knight's worst enemy. Fear for themselves, fear for others, and fear of the natural world. Even dragons were once part of nature. It was a knight's duty to protect people even if they didn't always live in harmony with the natural world. Magic was also part of the natural world. For a knight to use magic was a contradiction, so Holy Knights were special.

I looked down at my hand and examined the faint glimmer of power that was my holy light. Even a candle could shine brighter. I thought about what my teacher had said and lines of worry creased my forehead. If magic in general is becoming weaker, would I lose my holy light?

It had taken me years to even learn the most basic healing spell. All Holy Knights could use holy magic, but mine was by far the weakest. This wasn't particularly a problem since my skills as a spy were more important. Having the ability to sneak into small places and go where men can't was very handy. Still…

"It's just not fair!" I kicked my foot out and hit the nearest tree a little harder than I intended to. Pain shot though my foot and I dropped to my knees. I had momentary forgotten that I was wearing soft lady's shoes instead of boots. Massaging my foot gently I let out a low moan. "Owww."

Taking slow, deep breaths usually made pain go away on its own quickly enough. There was no need to waste holy light on my own mistake. I didn't get up right away and thought carefully about what I really doing. I was walking alone in soft shoes and a dress. It was a disguise of course. Disguising myself as a warpriest would have made more sense, but I didn't want to risk being stopped or noticed by a patrol. I was going to attack the encroaching threat directly. I had the list of the men the merchants had hired in my head. Everyone had weaknesses even mercenaries and even knights.

"Oh, my. What a plain looking girl." Thankfully one ever said those words. No one ever looked at me twice when I wasn't in uniform. I suppose I could have been considered a handsome knight, but I was overshadowed by my colleges. If I wasn't a professional I would have been downtrodden by how unspecial I was.

"Like a trusty old blade," I laughed. I rested my fist against the tree that had bruised my foot. "An assassin's blade needs to be sharp, but sharpening makes the blade thinner." I recited my teacher's warning. "With every kill you will lose something. Something some men would dare call a 'soul."

It was expected though. I wasn't a psychopath. I didn't enjoy running my blade along men's throats. I didn't even like venison. My teacher had become especially frustrated when I stopped eating meat for six months after meeting some gurus on the other continent. I lost that argument and the first meal he ordered when we got back to the Capital was a beef plate with green beans. I wasn't allowed to excuse myself from the table until I ate every bite.

The art of assassination had been a chore to learn. There hadn't exactly been a wealth of church enemies for me to practice on. My teacher had done his best to make the process as painless as possible for the both of us. I was especially fond of poisons. No mess no fuss, but I wasn't allowed to have a calling card. I had to be as quick and frightening as Death herself. It would have been a piece of cake if I had bothered to learn the dark arts like I should have.

Instead I clung to the holy light within me like a candle in the wind and drew my blade. The sun was starting to set. I had walked far enough that anyone tracking me would be confused the moment I doubled back. Three targets a night was a good start, but I wouldn't have much time the moment I activated the artifact's power.

I drew the charm out of my pocket and said quietly, "Dragon's Saint Brigandine, in the name of the descendants of dragons, I command thee to activate."

Nothing happened.

"Are you serious?" I grumbled and looked around to make sure there was nobody in earshot. "God of Light, this is so embarrassing!"

I tried the activation sequence again only this time I shouted and struck a dynamic pose. This time the magic worked. The artifact attached itself firmly to my chest and expanded until silver armored scales covered anything important and my clothes were replaced with black cloth that made my form look silhouette.

I felt an unexpected squeeze on my backside and flinched.

You've gained weight since my last activation, mistress.

"..."

I wanted to burn that blasted shirt!

I didn't care if it was a precious artifact!

I didn't care that it was some kind of inheritance!

I didn't care what my teacher said about the poor thing needing something to look forward to in its pathetic existence!

I didn't bloody care that it (was "rumored" to) belonged to my hero the Grisia Sun himself!

I wanted that damn perverted black shirt to burn and I was going to light it up with hell fire!

I heard something squeak in a panic and the black outfit wiggled anxiously.

N-now l-let's not be hasty. The shirt pleaded the moment it sensed my intentions. Sh-shall I tell you about master Grisia's wonderful physique again? I know you like to hear the details-

"Just shut up and let's just get this over with," I ordered. "Try not to enjoy it too much you damn pervert. If I catch you feeling my chest up again I'll leave you in a men's bath house."

Yes ma'am.

"Sun doesn't quite understand what brother Chad means by 'gone'," I said in all pleasantries. "Sun is afraid brother Chad speaks in riddles. Could you possibly enlighten me so that we can clear up this little misunderstanding?"

Glo's vice captain looked like he was ready to pass out. Beads of sweat ran down his forehead and threatened to smug the precious stacks of intelligence reports he was filing. Falcon leaned against the wall with a sickening look of amusement on his face.

"Uhm, well," Chad stammered. "The captain left a note."

"A note." I repeated.

"Something like, 'Oh I'm on suspension so I thought I'd pop out for tea and crisps.'" Falcon suggested in a falsetto voice. "Maybe see that new play everyone's on about.' That kind of note?" Falcon asked cheerfully.

"S-something like that."Chad nodded.

"I'm going to kill her."

"What?"

I smiled brightly which in no way eased Chad's nerves and said in a louder voice, "Sun was worried that he had been too hard on Brother Hell and wanted to make amends. Sun now sees he was worried over nothing and will catch Hell at a later time. Thank you Chad for clearing things up and Sun hopes you have a wonderful afternoon filled with the brilliance of the God of Light."

As I walked away, however, I muttered again, "I'm going to kill her."

"What strange times we live in." Falcon mused as he walked beside me. "Girls want to be Sun Knights and Sun Knights want to be assassins."

"Did she ask you to babysit me or do you really not have anything better to do?" I asked tersely.

"The latter," Falcon replied cheerfully. "I was hired to kill you and then hired not to. I still get paid twice as much either way so I'm basically on vacation."

"Do you know where she could have gone?"

"I'm her teacher not her tapeworm." Falcon quipped. "But you're her Sun Knight so try to figure it out on your own."

"Who was on that list you gave her?"

"Names," Falcon shrugged. "I don't remember really. My age is catching up to me."

"If you're done being a pest than go away." I snapped. "I've got things to do."

"I believe I said those exact words to your teacher once. Good times, oh, good times. " The man laughed and I groaned.

"Think about it," Falcon tapped his chin. "Even if you don't know somebody in this gossip choir will. Think and think hard. Who could that person be?"

When the door opened I was met with a frosty expression. This was completely expected considering whose door I had knocked on. The Frost Knight had dark circles under his eyes that weren't work related and had everything to do with the thick volume clutched in his hand. He used both the book and the door as a barrier against my shining brilliance and there was a subtle "go away" written on his expressionless face. He gave that look to everyone so I wondered how Glo had gotten past his introverted tendencies to form a solid friendship.

"How did you know?" I asked him using simple words. I gave him a moment to recover from his shock and then repeated the question.

"I needed a favor once," Frost replied cryptically. "A big one. Glo did it without asking and I just returned the favor."

"All she did was do you a favor?" I asked.

He nodded. Glo had done them all favors instinctively and never said a word about it. She was like that to all the knights. When they needed something she saw that it was handled and then went back about her business. Only the cold-hearted fraction had ever figured out it was her though.

"At first it was just books I was interested in." Frost explained. "I'd be reading in the library and the book I was looking for would appear on the table. It was kind of creepy at first actually, but then we all realized that the Hell Knight never spoke and just accepted it."

"What was this big favor?"

"Rose." Frost said quietly.

I looked at him confused. He blushed slightly and then retreated into his room. A moment later he appeared at the door again with a piece of parchment. Delicate scribbles marked once side of the letter. There were flowery words mixed in with some embarrassing references and no signature. The letter was scented with rose oil.

"Rose." I repeated stupidly. Frost had a secret lover and Glo knew about it. Of course Glo knew about it. I realized that she must have actually supported it. I blinked wondering how this anti-social bookworm had gotten himself a girlfriend.

As if reading my thoughts Frost said, "If you read enough books you start to understand people too."

"Then do me a favor now," I ordered. "Find her and bring her back."

Frost did what was he had been ordered to.

"Why didn't you call for backup?" Frost demanded as he blocked a chair from hitting me in the back of the head.

It took him a while, but Rose had helped him track me down. Rose was one of my best agents. This came as no surprise. We were in the same business after all. There many types of killers-for-hire. There were types like me who could blend in and disappear, but Rose was the kind that hid in plain sight. She had taken out several famous targets by masquerading as a dancer in an acting troop.

For Kal it was love at first sight. God of Light I swear I'm going to tell that story to my grandchildren. Her troop had come to the capital for a job and I was the one who had stopped her. I would have killed her years ago out of jealousy if she wasn't so smart, witty, and wonderful (and had given up her life of crime to wait for her beloved knight).

I sighed. Life just wasn't fair. I wanted to know where my knight in shining armor was.

"Oh, wait that's me." I kicked a barrel towards two charging mercenaries. "This is an underworld job. I can't just call up my platoon you know."

"What about your spy network?" Kal argued. "Like Kestrel and Graham?"

"Ugh, nooo," I groaned. "Anyone but them. I still have a girl crush on-"

I suddenly realized now was not the time to relate the story of how a nineteen year old girl had made me question my preferences. I liked men. I like men a lot. But if I did like women then the better looking half of the infamous brother-sister duo (Kestrel and Graham) was definitely my type. That or I when I finally decided to grow up to be a responsible adult I decided to be just like Kestrel. Oddly enough all three of my top agents had red hair. If I lived to see retirement I suspected I could make a living recording (and embellishing) their adventures, but for now I had to survive long enough to make it out of the inn alive.

Out of the list my teacher had given me only two were still alive. If they traced Kal and I back to the church it would mean problems for everyone. The first task was to flee and we had to do so without revealing who we were. That made things a lot more complicated.

"Why didn't you call for backup?!" I shot back at my "rescuer".

"I… forgot." Frost admitted. "Theo's scary when he's mad."

"Then tell that to these guys," I whispered as we backed up into a corner. A fairly tough looking crowd stood between us and the door. "Did you at least bring a horse?"

"We might have to borrow one."

"Right." I shook out my shoulders and prepared for another go at the mob. "Remember this is your fault for calling the bartender fat."

"You're the one who called him fat!" Frost protested.

"It's still your fault." I grinned.

Despite the odds I was actually having fun. It had been a while since I had been allowed to go all out in a brawl. Frost had arrived just in time to save me from a trap. Not that I really needed saving, but I had to get back to the temple before Theo ordered Carlisle to filet me.

"Kal, can you get the door?"

"It's blocked."

"Then we'll have to take the other door."

"What other door?"

I grinned even wider.

I petted the stolen horse affectionately and cooed my apologies. We had ridden the poor beast hard until its sweat soaked through our pants. It was another day's ride back to the capital, but the horse would never make it like this. We decided to let the animal go free and make the rest of the journey by foot. If we jogged the whole way we could get there in two days. I was grateful for holy knight stamina.

Frost watched me a moment then said, "You're… in love with Theo aren't you?"

I nearly tripped over the horse. "That's blasphemy Kal!" I accused. "And so wrong on so many levels. I'm the Hell Knight! Yuck!"

"Yeah, I wasn't sure at first." My friend's brows furrowed. "It's not like you to be careless, but whenever Theo's involved I have to wonder about your head."

"What do you mean?"

"Glo," he looked exasperated. "You just took off! What were you doing taking on a whole mercenary army by yourself? Just because they sent assassins after Theo?"

"To hell with Theo, I was trying to prevent a war!" I shouted. "Doing things my way prevents unnessary casualties."

"So do it alone? What about getting other assassins to help you?" Frost argued.

"Like Rose?"

Kal paled as if I had punched him in the gut.

"I can't do that, Kal." I continued speaking in a softer tone. "I can't ask anyone to kill on the church's behalf. The God of Light wouldn't want that."

"But it's okay if it's you." Kal grumbled. "Because you're really a necromancer, right? Because no matter how hard you try you'll always be a fake holy knight, is that what you think? Is that what you think even now after everything? Do you think Theo would hate you if he knew?"

"Theo does know." I replied haughtily. "He doesn't hate me because I'm a terrible knight. He hates my personality so there!"

"But he doesn't really know does he?" Frost countered. "You're a spy with twenty faces, but the one act you can't seem to play is the damsel in distress. Am I right? That's why she drives you crazy. That woman you hate so much."

"I'll admit that if Theo falls for ditz like that I'd hate it," I growled through chenched teeth. "But that doesn't make me in love with him. Rose gave up being an assassin and is willing to wait for you. I don't have that kind of time and I'm not waiting for anybody.

I looked up at the sky and at the real sun. I basked in the warmth of day and everything that was illuminated. I didn't have romantic feelings for Theo, but there was one emotion that I couldn't deny.

"But I am utterly infatuated with the light," I admitted. "The God of Light… the power to heal… it's all so wonderful! When you love someone you want them all to yourself, but this power needs to thrive and be shared with the world." I looked at Frost sadly. "Theo doesn't understand that so I don't love him."

"You hopeless romantic," Frost shook his head. "The other definition of course."

I grinned, "Guilty as charged."

Something shined off in the distance. At that moment some cloud cover appeared overhead so I had to climb a tree to get a better look. Frost waited at the bottom as I wriggled my way through the branches. My heart began to be faster as I climbed higher and higher trying to see what my gut was screaming about.

"What is it?" Frost called out from the ground.

"Oh. My. God."