The Light Needed Most

"I'm still waiting for your report," Theo said coldly. There was a chill to his voice that rivaled Kal's. I honestly felt more warmth coming from the iron bars between us. My suspension had been upgraded to imprisonment. Apparently my boss was less than pleased to learn what I had done in my "free time". Even the news of an army preparing to march on the capital city wasn't enough of a distraction to save me. Kal and I had rushed back to the temple as fast as we could to warn the temple, but I had been snatched away from the briefing before I could even speak.

"You you really want me to detail how I assassinated 26 men?" I asked softly.

"No." Sun replied, "I want you to tell me what made you take leave of your senses into acting WITHOUT my orders! You are my shadow. You do not move without my command or have you forgotten that?"

"Go ahead then." I snapped at him back. "Tell me how I'm a woman and unsuited to be a knight! Go on and just say it!"

There is was. The tension between us had finally manifested into words. I as a woman and I was a knight, but in his eyes I wasn't suited to be either. I wasn't a doll that merely dressed up as a knight. It is my work that kept me sane. Didn't he know that? All the mistrust and hatred that followed me like a bad smell had built up over time unit I was drowning in it.

"You don't give me any orders!" I told him. "And if you do it's always 'stay put' or 'don't do anything'!"

"When I don't have to remind people who the head of the temple is supposed to be," Sun's voice escaped through gritted teeth. "Only then you may tell me how to do my job! Because I know when that day comes I won't have to worry loose cannons like you!"

"I did what I thought was right!"

"Twenty-six men! Is that enough bloodshed for you?" Sun snarled. "I don't understand! Ten years ago you'd just as easily squeal at the sight of a dead mouse!"

"I did not!"

"Now we have a whole army on a doorstep!" Sun rubbed his forehead and glared at me. He dropped his voice. "You've done your part. Now I'll do mine. I'll ride into battle as Falcon suggested. That should scare off the foreigners."

Realizing the full implication of what that meant started begging, "No! That's not-! Sun!"

He turned away from me and started up the stairs. Something wasn't right. I knew something was off the moment he said my teacher's name. I needed to see the reports. I needed to understand where my sense of urgency was coming from. Like a foul stench in the room I could sense that somewhere, somehow we had been tricked. Something wasn't adding up and the absolute last thing Theo should do was rush off into battle without me to watch his back.

"Dammit Sun! Let me out of here! Let me out right now!"

For several hours I paced back and forth in the cell. I studied the bars carefully looking for any sign of weakness until the cell grew too dark for me to see. When that happened I started feeling the stone wall for another few hours. After that was done I conceded to the fact that the prison was well made and Theo had the foresight to take away my daggers and lock picks. I was trapped.

I shivered although I wasn't feeling particularly cold. I sensed a disturbing chill as I recounted the known facts. Falcon was not our ally. He may have been my teacher and a former knight, but we did not share the same interests. My lovely cousin was also not to be trusted. Likely Falcon had used her to get to me.

"But why?"

I thought carefully. Magic was failing. That was his belief. The surest way to find out the rate of the decline was to watch me. If my holy light disappeared…

"If you can hear me master of death," I prayed quietly to the dark god I had ignored for so many years. "Call me of little faith, but just this once- hold your breath until I can get to where Sun is!"

I sat down with my back to the stone wall behind me. This was not the first time I had prayed to the God of Light, but I was still nervous every time. My first prayer had been nearly a decade ago. I recalled very clearly what I had asked for. It was a small miracle, but I wanted a family. Well, I had a family, but I wanted comrades. A family with bonds thicker than blood and it seemed like I still had a long time to wait. When I wasn't fighting like cats and dogs with Theo I was hiding my identity from the rest of the temple. It still beat living on the streets, but it wasn't exactly glamorous.

"God of Light," I pleaded reminding him of the bargain which I had purposed. I thought of the men I had killed. Not just the twenty-six, but all of them. "I took a promise, but I don't feel safe here." I chuckled. "Sometimes I wish Sun would just slap me in the face, but then I'd beg to be spared because I'm a coward. I can't keep my promises, because I..." I paused for a moment of reflection. "Can I be of use to help others find truth when I'm scared that I'm scared of finding proof the gods are a lie? What kind of knight am I supposed to be?"

"The Hell Knight, of course." A cheerful voice quipped.

I leapt up from the floor.

"Rose!" I made a face. "You look dreadful in that color!"

On the other side of the bars was a curvy young woman with fire red hair and green eyes. Both she and her two companions were dressed as clerics, which explained how they had snuck into the temple. How they caught me by surprise was a different matter entirely.

White was definitely not Rose's color though. I was used to seeing her dressed in colorful dancer's silks with her midriff exposed. The older woman grinned.

"Yes, black is really more my thing." She said missing my point completely. Dancing was just her cover. She was even more skilled in "another art" that I knew all too well. She could stand out on stage or disappear into the shadows with both ease and grace. If it wasn't for Kal stealing this woman's heart she would have been a very dangerous enemy. The two figures next to her were equally as dangerous, but much younger so I still had the edge on them in terms of experiance.

"Kestrel and Graham." I named the siblings. Their disguise was perfect, but there wasn't anyone else it could be. They drew back their hoods and smiled warmly. "I didn't know you all knew each other."

"Small world." Graham was the chatty one of the sibling duo.

Anyone who could make Kestrel speak above a hushed tone deserved a prize. Anyone who could make her speak more than five words deserved a freaking statue. Graham was tall and lean with a red beard covering the lower half of face. Next to him his sister was shorter and slender. She had an elf-like quality to her and was the better looking of the two. Kestrel had dark red hair and blue eyes. Graham had brown eyes. The three of them were my best and most loyal agents.

"Has the battle already started?" I asked as I was freed.

"He's a man and a knight, yes?" Rose asked with a raised eyebrow. "Why are you so worried about Sun? The other knights will be there." She didn't seem particularly worried about her own lover at all. Probably because if anyone dared to hurt a single hair on Kal's head she'd boil them alive right down to their bones. They were an adorable couple.

"Chad's waiting for you." Graham said. "Unlike you, your vice-captain seems to be a man of sense"

"No, tell him to lead the platoon." I ordered. "There's something I have to do." I looked over at Kestrel and said slyly. "Do you mind if I borrow that?"

My teacher was waiting for me. He knew, just as he knew me, that I had come to him with questions. I always came to him with questions.

"I did it to pay off my debts." He told me. "In my service to the church I had racked up quite a few favors. It was my way of balancing the books."

"What sort favors?" I demanded.

"Nothing too troublesome," He said. "But just as you like to use circus folk and actors as your agents I also needed a network of people who could travel and find information."

"The smugglers," I realized.

Falcon Hell nodded, "But they are not like your little merry band. My agents didn't hold any loyalty to me. I bought information with a knight's promise to return the favor eventually. They saw it as an investment. And I'm truly sorry, but that investment seems to be paying off for them now."

"You… How could you?!" I shouted. "Couldn't you break your word? Just this once?"

"No." He said firmly. "What did I tell you after you made your first kill?"

He had warned me that with each murder, just as file sharpens a blade, a small sliver of what men call the "soul" is taken from us. To counter this one must make themself a promise. We created within ourselves a covenant that absolutely could not be broken. If that fragile link was broken then we would probably descend into madness crushed by the weight of the guilt of the murders we had committed as Hell Knights. Although Theo probably thinks I've gone crazy as it is. Normally the covenant is kept a secret.

So my teacher's covenant is his knightly word is never broken. It was a simple contract when compared to mine. Originally I wanted mine to be obtaining from meat, but my teacher reasoned that plants don't grow all year. Fasting all winter would have been problematic.

"Relax." Falcon said and leaned back in his chair. "There's never been a Sun Knight to die in office. Even if magic is weakening the God of Light wouldn't-"

"Don't presume tell the gods what to do!" I snapped and stormed out. I felt a strong need to be at Theo's side. I feared for him. He was pain in the ass and his girlfriends were fan-fluttering idiots, but he was my Sun Knight. My one and only Sun Knight.

He'd be furious when he saw me and we would fight, but afterwards I'd introduce him to Kestrel. She would be good for him. Kestrel was quiet, but a force to be reckoned with.

Then again, I suddenly remembered. Unfortunately for Theo, Kestrel had good taste.

All the horses had been taken so I was forced to race to the battlefield on foot. When I arrived I was relieved to see that the battle was over. Something still didn't seem right, however. I shaded my eyes against the setting sun to see. The knights were just waiting there. The tension in the air was unsettling. At the center I could see Theo's unmistakable golden hair. His sword was drawn, but everyone else's swords were still in their scabbards. He pointed his blade in salute to his adversary.

A duel, I realized.

Theo had convinced the other side to settle the matter with two swords. I stopped running and took a moment to admire Theo's intuitiveness. One casualty was a much cleaner number than anything I would have come up with. I wondered how he had managed to talk his way. Whatever he had said (in between his praises to the God of Light), it had worked. Theo was no slouch when it came to his sword's play. He wasn't as good as me or Judgment, but he was better than the average soldier to be sure.

I blinked. His opponent was equality good. After a few parries Theo's blood was the first to be drawn. I instinctively reached for my hidden blade, but both duelists froze. Theo stood and returned to his starting position. I relaxed. It was a best out three matches which would give Theo the advantage of being able to use his knightly stamina.

I began to push my way through horses trying to get closer. A few of the knights glanced down at me irritably but because of my outfit they let me pass without a fuss. I had made certain that every knight had seen me in my cleric's disguise. In fact they probably saw me more in my white robes than in my knight's armor. I could hear the clank of swords as Theo began the third match. I could sense the knights around me stiffen as they watched the duel warily. I knew Theo would win. Without looking I knew he was just toying with his opponent. Ninety percent of his job was putting on a good show.

I was almost there. I would have to explain myself. He wouldn't be pleased to see me. If I started with an apology it might shock him enough to wait until we were back at the temple, but I still felt a growing sense of unease. He hadn't answered when I accused him of be prejudice. I feared more than anything that it was true and that I would always be treated different because I was a woman. That made me angry. I heard hundreds of mounted steeds shuffle in response to their rider's gasps. I looked up. Theo was bleeding again. Had he lost? No that shouldn't have been possible, but-

Theo smiled at his advisory and began saying something that was no doubt benevolent sounding. I could see from how his gloved hands were tensing that he was thinking quickly. I saw his opponent nod and recognized him as the man I had dueled not too long ago.

Oh no.

Theo turned his back to walk back to his horse. My shout was lost in the sea of armor clanking as all the holy knights sat up in their saddles at once. Theo turned just in time to see the dueling blade slip between his ribs. Hundreds of knights began snarling, but held their positions. Theo must have ordered a parley and thus they couldn't interfere. I could feel the blood leave my face as I saw Theo's white shirt turn red.

No, no. Why wasn't he wearing armor?! No, of course, it would have slowed him down… But-!

Theo was the Sun Knight. No Sun Knight had ever died during his term. Everyone on the continent, no- everyone in the world who had heard of the God of Light knew that the Sun Knight was protected. I could see Theo call up his holy light, but his dueling opponent shoved the blade in deeper until the two were almost in an embrace.

I'm going to kill that man! I swore. How dare he harm my Sun Knight and my captain? I broke through the line of knights and ran to Theo's side as he fell.

"What's a cleric doing here?" I heard some say amid shouts of "captain" and "Sun Knight".

I'm not a cleric! I wanted to shout. With my level of skill I was lucky if I could heal a paper Theo didn't need my help. He was the Sun-

I looked at Theo's body. The bleeding had stopped.

I stiffened. I knew that look.

I knew that look all too well and it wasn't a look that the Sun Knight should have. I turned my gaze to the man Theo had been dueling. He froze in recognition and I marched right up to him. I snatched the blade from his hand. My stomach turned over and I pushed back the thought that it was Theo's blood covering the blade. I held the steel to my nose.

The smell of blood, I noted. Blood and… and something else.

"Poison," I said out loud. "The blade is coated with poison!"

The man looked at me with an expression as white as a sheet like he was looking at the Shadow God himself. My vision turned red. Falcon had informed them well. He must have thought they would never take it this far. Holy Light, as miraculous as it was, had a few fatal flaws.

I mentally ran through the list of who was responsible for this. Gianne, my teacher, and their smuggling allies; I pictured them all at the end of my blade.

I looked up and glared. And this man.

I took a half step forward. I was still gripping the sword to the point that my hands were shaking. This man… with this sword… I…

I heard the clatter of the sword falling but I didn't remember letting go. I stopped and looked down at my hands. They were still shaking even though I wasn't holding on to the blade anymore. I looked around confused and my gaze fell on Theo again.

That look again, I thought. It was so strange, especially for Theo. He had always been so bright that I couldn't look at him directly for very long. His holy light looked bright as the sun to my eyes. My eyes which had been passed down through the bloodlines of both my parents and eyes with they both ignored. I watched helplessly as the dark element filled Theo's body.

My brain went numb and I felt something crack on the inside.

Why was Theo filling with dark element? He's the Sun Knight, I blinked. The dark element that had haunted me at every turn and threatened to corrupt and smother me. My holy light was just a candle and all round me was the night. My talents lay in the dark arts. I remembered watching the dark element fill the bodies of the targets I had assassinated. I remembered that look belonging to the men I had killed, men who were dead.

I fell to my knees as the realization rushed over me like a thunderstorm in the night.

"Theo is… dead?" My vision was blurred by water and I could feel the sides of my face growing damp with tears. I tried to mentally push the dark element out of him, but I didn't know how to manipulate it. I knew enough about my ancestral country's lore to know that only the Demon King could manipulate and absorb the dark element at will. The rest of us humans, necromancers and the like, had to make due with learned spells. I didn't know a single spell. My little candle of holy light couldn't do anything. The natural talent everyone said I was supposed to have couldn't do a damn thing!

Where was the God of Light now? I wondered.

I flinched as Carlisle grasped my shoulder. He could see as plain as I that Theo's wound had stopped bleeding, but he checked Theo's wrist all the same. His hand gripped my shoulder like a vice. I ignored the pain. Around us our comrades, the Twelve Holy Knights, assembled and stared down at our fallen captain in complete disbelief.