Panic Prone

Author's note: Hey, guys. Sorry that it's taken forever for an update. The other writer, xocrazililkelox, decided she wanted to start another story and didn't want to continue this with me. It's all good, no grudges. It was her idea for this story though. Anyway, I apologize again for not updating in a while. For a while, I was always busy on the weekends, hanging out with friends and my boyfriend. Then, my boyfriend broke up with me last week and I found out he cheated on me with a few girls. So, I've been dealing with that. Also, I've been over my sister's new apartment on and off for the past week. And in a week I'll be moving upstairs once my brother moves out. And I have to set up my room and my daughters room, so I'll be busy doing that. I just wanted to at least get a chapter in. Also, I'm going to apologize now if anyone doesn't like what happens in this chapter. This is based a month after Emma told everyone she was pregnant.

Thirty-eight

skittlesxrayn

Emma and Jay sat in the health clinic together. Jay was flipping through a car magazine, his hand resting on Emma's leg. Emma's eyes were darting all over the place. She looked at all the other young woman, some younger than her, sitting with their hands crossed, waiting for their turn.

She wondered who was here for the same thing she was. Who was here for something else, something a little less harmful than what she was there for. She sighed and looked at a girl sitting across from her. She was young. Maybe 15. Her big pregnant belly seemed very out of place on her body. She smiled at Emma and Emma politely smiled back.

A few more minutes passed, they felt like hours. She rethought her reasoning for doing this. She was young. Jay was young. She wasn't ready, neither was Jay. She wanted to graduate, go to University. Jay was barely making the grades to graduate and a baby would mean he would have to work more, ruining his chances to graduate. Money was a problem, too. Not the biggest factor however. She looked at Jay's hand on her thigh and she put hers over his, squeezing it softly. He looked away from the magazine, catching her gace, "You ok?" he whispered softly.

She nodded slightly, "I'm fine," she whispered.

She wondered why everyone was whispering. Through out the whole waiting room, all you could hear was the soft buzz of the clinic's computers. Silent sobbing could be heard if you listened carefully. Emma felt like she was in a funeral home. She let out a small laugh, that even she could barely hear. Might as well be a funeral home. She thought to herself.

Emma looked back at Jay, who had discarded the magazine and was now glancing around the room. He wasn't the only boyfriend there escorting his girlfriend to get rid of the thing that was now growing inside of the girlfriend's uterus. The thing that was the result of not being able to wait 20 seconds and slide a rubber on before doing the deed. Jay shook his head slightly, anger at himself that for all of this. He knew Emma deserved better than this. Better than him, but he loved her and she loved him. Even though, neither have actually said it. Both afraid the other would think they were only saying it because of the circumstances.

A nurse came out, wearing an unusually bright nurses uniform, "Ms. Hogart?"

Emma let out a laugh. She didn't want to give her last name and hearing someone referring to her as Hogart, was the most amusing she heard all day.

Emma looked at Jay, biting her lip, "See you in a bit." She stood up to walk over to the nurse.

Jay stood up with her and kissed her cheek, "I'll be right here, ok?"

Emma smiled and nodded, "Ok."

30 minutes later...

Emma sat on the table/bed in a hospital gown. Her legs were propped up and she looked down at her toes, chipped nail polish. I'll have to call Manny to do mani/pedis, she thought to herself. She tried thinking about anything but what was about to happen.

The doctor came in and explained the procedure. Emma didn't hear a thing. She nodded at certain times, trying to pass it off like she was listening.

A few minutes later, she swallowed a pain killer and laid back, closing her eyes.

A nurse came over and held her hand. Emma was immediately filled with comfort. She squeezed the woman's hand and tried to ignore everything she felt psychically and ignore the sounds of the machines in the room.The warmth from the woman's hand made Emma's mind race. She thought about exactly what was happening. Something Jay and her created would never feel that warmth. She wasn't feeling regret. She was just sad that her baby wouldn't see the sun, feel the grass on it's bare feet in the summer time. Emma felt one tear fall and as it fell, she promised herself that she will be a great mother someday and told herself that this was the right choice.

10 minutes later, it was over.

15 minutes later, Emma was in the recovery room, sitting in a big chair the reclined, with a heating pad over her stomach.

An hour later, Emma was fine to get dressed and leave.

Emma slowly walked out of the recovery room and made her way to the waiting room. Jay was exactly where she left him. He got up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her. She hugged him back lightly, a little weak. She could smell the cigarette smoke on him. Lately, he's only been smoking when he's nervous or stressed.

Emma made her follow up appointment and slowly walked to Jay's car with him.

Author's note: So, Emma had an abortion. Very un-Emma like, but this story is very obviously AU. I'm sorry for those of you who are against abortion. I, myself am Pro-Choice and everything written above was taken from my own experience, except that fact that I was with my best friend.