The three of them hit the ground hard and rolled a little bit, but luckily, Juliet and Nick didn't damage anything, Deadpool cracked his skull on a car hood, but it healed quickly.

"Oh, hell!" Nick grunted as they landed, but then they all got up to see the guy who blasted them on some kind of stage. They also noticed their surroundings.

[Why are we in some kind of junkyard?]

(Probably to match this guys singing voice: garbage!)

"Oh-ho, clever, crazy voice." Deadpool laughed and pointed his finger toward his brain's textbox.

"WELCOME TO THE MOSH PIT, YOU ZOMBIE-HUNTING SLUTS!" Zed screamed from his stage.

The three of them ignored his irritating screaming and continued on until they passed under a car.

"YOUR PAIN IS MY ART!" He screamed again, making the car fall, but luckily, Deadpool blew it up.

[He's getting VERY annoying.]

(I know, he talks more than Dante! Speaking of, we haven't seen him since UMVC3, we should hook up with him and catch up some time!)

"That My Chemical Romance wannabe is destroying San Romero!" Juliet said.

"Oh, I love that song "Teenager", you ever heard that?" Nick asked.

"The writer just barely listened to it. He doesn't care for it much." Deadpool said.

"That's not important right now, guys! We have to kill this guy!" Juliet said.

(Now she's talking!)

"I'LL RESTRING MY GUITAR WITH YOUR INTESTINES!" he shouted again, throwing the words "vanilla slut" at them.

"His voice is mega-irritating!" Juliet complained, slicing through another car.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THE SPOTLIGHT, SLAGS?!" He shouted as a few of his zombie followers attacked them.

"You know, maybe we should explain the writer's text choice to the audience." Deadpool suggested.

[Well, due to Zed's pain in the ass screaming, the writer wanted to emphasize it with bold, capital letters. The rest of the purveyors will be talking the same as Nick, Juliet or us.]

(Yay!)

Juliet kicked down a fence, then sat on some diagonal bar and slid down it, followed by Nick, then Deadpool.

"YOUR FACES GONNA BE SWEET DOO-RAGS!" Zed shouted again, throwing a word I honestly couldn't read at them.

"He made a stage from all the cars in San Romero." Nick said.

"Oh my god! Total waste of a Volvo!" Juliet shouted.

"Who needs a Volvo when you could have something awesome like a motorcycle or the car Raiden had in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. Or a Lamborghini." Deadpool commented.

"WELCOME TO THE BIG SHOW!" Zed screamed as they made the smallest amount of progress, causing a street light to swing at them, which they dodged, then they had to dodge a car, then jump through it as it still flew at them.

"FUCK! What a douchebag! Quit destroying shit for no reason!" Nick shouted at him.

(Yeah, really!)

[Do we really have the right to comment on that? We blow random shit up ALL THE TIME.]

"Good times." Deadpool said, reminiscing.

Juliet kicked down a small tower a zombie was on, making another slide, which she then jumped on and sliced the zombie off of it. "Get out of my way!" She snapped, the two boys following her.

"TIME TO GET HARDCORE, YOU ZOMBIE HUNTING SLUTS!" Zed shouted as more zombies attacked them.

[Damn, he's swearing more than that punk from the Devil May Cry reboot]

(Yeah, otherwise known as DINO: Dante In Name Only. He doesn't have the right to be called Dante!)

The three of them climbed up a pile of junk as another tower began to fall on them, but Juliet cut it in half, then they dodged, Juliet cut a car coming at them in half, then they jumped in between the two halves, then she came down and sliced through the final car.

"Juliet, you're kinda hot when you kick ass!" Nick said.

(She's hot all the time!)

[Yes, she is.]

"She's got a better body than Domino and she's half her age!" Deadpool agreed with his head voices.

They then looked down at the boss they were about to fight. "Probably took him 3 hours to spike his Mohawk this morning. Needy much?" Juliet said.

"Yeah, it looks like a rooster thingamabob." Nick said.

"That's okay, because he's acting like such a cock!" Deadpool laughed as they jumped down.

They then looked around, not seeing him. "The fuck'd he go?!" Deadpool asked.

(Yay! TFS Vegeta reference!)

[don't tell me this guy can teleport, too…]

Meanwhile, up above, Zed prepared to attack. However, he ruined his chance for a stealth attack by laughing and screaming. "I'M GONNA CRUSH YOUR FACE!" He shouted, smashing the ground where Juliet previously stood, having just barely dodged. "I'M LOVING THIS SHIT!" He laughed as Juliet pulled out a lollipop, then he screamed for no reason. "YOUR ASS IS MIIIINE! MMM, I LOVE THE SMELL OF ALMOST-DEAD CHEERLEADER IN THE MORNING! YEAHOO!" He said, jumping up and down like an idiot, then a description poster of him popped up with a dead rat in his mouth.

Influences: PUNK ROCK ZOMBIE

The Misfits ZED!

Black Flag

Torturing small animals

"Torturing small animals?!" Juliet shrieked, pushing the picture out of the way. "What kind of whack job waterboards Chip and Dale? That makes guyliner here like the most uncoolest dude EVER!" She shouted, throwing her Lollipop in the air.

The three attacked him, but then he ran around them in circles almost faster than they could see. He then changed course and rushed at Deadpool, sliding on the ground with his microphone out, impaling Deadpool through the stomach.

"Hey, that move reminds me of…."

(Hey! That's a cheap rip-off!)

[He completely stole Dante's Stinger move. How unoriginal.]

"Well, to be fair, we DO kinda steal Ryu's Shoryuken every now-and-then." Deadpool said, then whipped his machine guns out and loaded Zed's face up with bullets at point blank range, due to Zed still impaling him.

Zed jumped back, then did another move reminiscent of Dante's, repeatedly stabbing Deadpool at devastating speeds, although I forget the name of the attack….. Oh well, Insieme will probably tell me later.

"Dude, seriously, quit ripping off Dante! Make your own moves!" Deadpool said, then tossed Zed one of his Pulse Rifles. He tried to shoot him a few times, but Deadpool had turned the safety on, then shot him in the stomach and blew a giant hole through it. Although it slowly healed.

Juliet took this opportunity to slice him in half from his head to his waist, leaving him splitting in two.

"That was hot! Did you see that?" Nick asked.

But to everyone's surprise, Zed put a hand on either side of his head and pushed himself back together.

"([Da fuq?!])"

"YOU THINK THAT HURTS ME?! I JUST JIZZED A LITTLE!" He laughed, then screamed. As a result of his screaming, giant speakers fell from the sky.

"([Da double fuq?!])

Zed jumped on them and began throwing red discs from his hair at them. "I THINK YOU PISSED YOUR PANTS!" Zed laughed.

"Correction! Only Nick can piss his pants! I'm wearing a skintight bodysuit and Juliet is in a skirt and tights." Deadpool corrected.

"Deadpool, Nick! I have an idea! You guys go for the speakers, you guys take out the speakers! I'll handle the asshole!" Juliet said, running at Zed.

"She's good at this planning stuff." Deadpool said.

"Yeah. Let's get to it!" Nick said, shooting a large stack of speakers. Between him and Deadpool had it done in a matter of seconds.

As a last resort, Zed made a giant speaker in the middle of the stage he jumped on.

"Cover me, guys! I'm gonna cut through it, but I know he's not gonna make it easy." Juliet ordered, sawing through it.

"VANILLA SLUT!" He shouted the words at her, only for it to be blown apart by Deadpool's Pulse lasers.

Juliet was now a little more than halfway through the speaker when Zed jumped off the stage and got right up in OUR faces. "JOIN ME ON STAGE FOR A DEATH JAM!" He shouted, drawing his thumb across his throat in a decapitation gesture, then rushed at Juliet, but Nick stabbed him a few times with the sais and he jumped back up top. He threw one more word as Juliet almost completely sawed through it, but then Deadpool shot it apart again. Juliet finally cut through it and the 3 kicked it down.

"Almost there!" Nick said as Juliet went in for the kill, this time slicing at the waist horizontally. She made it most of the way through, but didn't completely get there.

"OH, THAT ONE… THAT ONE ACTUALLY HURT A LITTLE, BITCH!" He snapped at her.

The three then got back into ass-kicking mode and hammered on him more. He managed to push them all back and jumped into the center of the stage.

"And the finish!" Nick said, waiting for Juliet to end it.

But then Zed screamed and made a constant stream of letters from the word "yeah" fly everywhere.

"Fucking giant letter BULLSHIT!" Nick said, taking cover.

"Ooh, shiny. Shoot at it!" Deadpool said, shooting at the letters, making a clear path for Juliet to get through.

Once again, she came down straight on his head and completely sliced all the way through him.

"OW! OOH! NOT COOOOL!" He screamed, trying to block with his wrists, which Juliet cut straight through, his hands landing behind him, giving the finger. "FUUUUCK! AAAAH! I'M NOT DONE SCREAMING YET! OOOOHHHH, THIS REALLY FUCKING HURTS, MAN! OOOOHHHH!" He screamed like a bitch as he split apart.

"GEEZ, so emo!" Juliet said, catching the lollipop she had thrown into the air, putting it into her mouth.

Then, Zed's body faded in black and purple flames and went into a portal. "MEUS VITA REGE, PRO NEFARIO COEPTO!" He chanted in Latin as he faded from existence.

"Juliet! Nick! Deadpool! You did it!" Morikawa said as he limped onto the stage.

"Mr. Morikawa!" Nick said, rushing over to help him as he fell, along with Juliet.

[Oh, dear. He doesn't look to be in the best of health.]

"He's 77 and he took an unholy beating from 5 freaky demi-god zombies." Deadpool commented as he walked over to help.

(This must be one of those sad, game changing, confession deaths that spurs on the plot.)

"You managed to purify…. One of the Dark Purveyors." He said.

"Yes…." Juliet nodded.

"Look at this…" He coughed, opening a map of the school, then spit a big spatter of blood onto it.

"([Ew!])"

"Zed was only the weakest of the Dark Purveyors!" Morikawa said as the blood spatter shifted to 5 different places and looked like 5 different people, Zed being one of them. "But the other 4 are still here, rotting the school. By now they've probably transformed all your fellow student into undead." He said as the image of Zed was sliced in half and dispersed. "The school is probably filled with zombies." He explained, then had a coughing fit.

"Sensei!" Juliet said urgently, holding him tightly.

"Mr. Morikawa!" Nick said softly, unsure of what to do.

[Should we do something?]

(What can we do? He's good as dead. Maybe if someone makes up something clever enough, the writer will change it so he lives!)

[Like what? I doubt the writer will change it. Besides, nothing would make sense that could stop him dying. Even if we gave him our blood for our healing factor, it wouldn't help because it's not HIS DNA.]

"Juliet, Nick and Deadpool…. I have faith, you can stop them! All humans must die… As I must now, too…" He said, shuffling off his mortal coil and passing on.

"Sensei! No! Don't leave!" Juliet pleaded.

"Oh! I have this for you, Juliet!" Er….. Nevermind my last statement, Morikawa got back up, reached into his pocket and pulled out a white box with a red ribbon and handed it to Juliet. "Happy birthday, Juliet! You were always my favorite pupil..." He said, finally passing on.

"Sensei!" Juliet wept.

(I honestly liked the first death better. It was more dramatic.)

[Is now really the time to be saying that? This is kind of a tender moment -]

The arrow pointed towards the mourning Juliet, crying into Nick's shoulders. Suddenly, a giant elevator came from the sky and opened up. Morikawa's soul then left his body and walked into it, turning back to give one last thumbs-up before the door closed and it went up to the heavens where angels and for some reason, the arc de triumph waited as the 3 waved goodbye. Juliet opened her present and a motor installed itself into her chainsaw.

"Oh my god! Thanks, Sensei!" Juliet said happily, holding her new ride. "Chainsaw dash!" She announced, winking.

"([Now that's a sweet ride!])" Nick, Deadpool and the voices all complimented.