The sun beat down on Total Drama Island as Chris sat on the docks, sipping a lemonade, "Welcome, viewers to a brand new season of Total Drama Island. This time, 16 brand spanking new contestants will be competing for the prize of one MILLION dollars! There will be pain, blood and tears alike will be shed and the teens will be exposed to a hell that none of them have been exposed to before. This will be ratings GOLD. So sit back and grab a bag of popcorn because this will be a season you'll never forget. Only on Total Drama Island!"

*I Wanna Be Famous Theme Song*

Chris and Chef waited patiently on the docks for the contestants to arrive. In the distance, they saw a boat on the horizon with a youthful looking blonde haired blue-eyed teenager with freckles standing on it wearing a white baseball uniform and a red baseball cap. He had a catcher's mitt in one hand and a suitcase in the other. He wore red sneakers. The boat pulled into the dock and the boy hopped off. Chris greeted him with a big smile, "Billy, welcome to Total Drama Island."

The young teen smiled as he hopped off the boat, "Gee whiz, so does that mean I win since I'm the first to arrive?"

Chris shook his head, "Sorry, Billy but that's not how it works here. There will be 15 others competing for the prize besides you."

Billy hung his head and sighed, "Aw, shucks..."

The youthful teen sadly walked to the other end of the dock and a second boat pulled up. Standing on the boat was a brunette girl with blue eyes. She wore jean pants and was topless except for a red bra with spaghetti staps. She also wore black high heels. In her arms was a baby wrapped in a blue blanket, "Hi there, I couldn't find a babysitter so Robby will join me on the island."

"Welcome to Total Drama Island, Brittany." Chris greeted the teen who carefully hopped onto the dock and shook the host's hand.

Brittany looked around at her surroundings, "Is there by any chance a baby changing station around here? I think my little Robby just soiled himself."

Chris shrugged, "You could always use the confessional."

Brittany joined Billy at the dock and he stared at her in amazement, "Jeepers! Is that really your baby?"

Brittany nodded, "Sadly, yes. You see, my boyfriend fooled around with me and forgot to use a condom."

Billy blinked a couple times in confusion, "Oh. What's a condom?"

Brittany sighed, "You'll find out when you're older, okay?"

"Everyone, say hello to Philip!" Chris announced as a third boat pulled in. There was a teen boy with brown hair, blue eyes, a black suit, a red tie, black pants and brown shoes standing on the boat. In one hand, he carried a suitcase and in the other, he held an inhaler.

Philip hopped off the boat and turned his attention to Billy and Brittany before looking to Chris, "You seriously let a teen mother on the show with her BABY?!"

Chris shrugged, "It makes for good ratings and besides, it's her baby. She chose to be on the show without getting a babysitter."

Philip marched over to the end of the dock and glared at Brittany, "You better take REAL good care of your baby then, all right?"

Brittany smiled, "Don't worry, I will."

A fourth boat pulled into the dock and on it stood a black male teen wearing a labcoat and glasses with a stethoscope around his neck, blue pants and black shoes. He was carrying a first aid kit. Chris greeted him with a grin, "Welcome to the island, Tanner."

Tanner walked up to Chris and pressed his stethoscope to the host's chest, "Your heart rate seems normal which is good. Tell me, Chris Maclean, just how much plastic surgery have you had?"

"I don't think that's any of your business." Chris replied, crossing his arms.

Tanner sighed and shook his head. Walking to the other end of the dock, Billy dashed up and greeted him, "Hi, I'm Billy. Gee whiz, I sure hope we're on the same team together. I gets lots of cuts and scrapes whenever I play baseball."

Tanner smiled at Billy, "Nice to meet you, Billy." The doctor then turned and glanced at Brittany who was breastfeeding her baby boy. He simply rolled his eyes and crossed his arms at her.

A fifth boat pulled in and on it stood a fat female teen the same exact build as Sadie and Sugar with green skin, gray hair and a warty nose. She wore a black coat, a witch's hat, lime green and black striped thigh-lengths stockings, black boots and a purple scarf around her neck. She had a black cat perched on her shoulder and she is carrying a cauldron with a broom in it. She burst into a fit of evil cackling, "Time to eat you all, my pretties! Mweeheeheeheeehee!"

"Everyone, say hello to Luna, the wickedest witch in Canada!" Chris announced as the witch hopped off the boat and onto the dock.

Philip rolled his eyes, "They just keep getting weirder and weirder..."

Luna walked to the other end of the dock and grinned at Brittany, "My, what a tasty little morsel you have there...mind if I dip him in chocolate and eat him?"

Brittany turned around and kicked Luna in the shin, "Don't even THINK about hurting my little Robby Wobby!"

Luna shook her fist at Brittany, "I'll put a curse on you, my dearie! You'll see!"

The black cat turned around and hissed at Billy and the youngster gasped, "Jeepers, she sure is a scary one!"

"She may be scary but she has much better English than our next contestant. Everyone, say hello to Olga!" Chris announced as a sixth boat pulled in. Standing on the boat was a teenage girl, easily over 6 foot tall wearing nothing but a leopard skin tunic and a bone in her hair. She was Caucasian and had brown hair and blue-green eyes.

The tall girl smiled at the other contestants and hopped off the boat, "Hello, me Olga. Me here to make friend, play tribal music, hunt and fish with bare hands. Olga very strong and Olga very nice. Have lots of fun." Suddenly, a monkey hops off the boat and perches on Olga's shoulder and starts eating ticks from her hair. Tanner cringes while Brittany simply shrugs, "It's the same thing as breastfeeding. How can you call yourself a doctor if something like that fazes you?"

"I just think ticks are gross, that's all." Tanner replied calmly.

Philip nodded, "Yeah, she could really use a shower and some more clothes. And to think Billy over here was stuck in the past."

Olga frowned and joined the rest of the contestants on the docks as a 7th boat pulled up. On this boat stood a tall white male teen dressed in green army camo and an orange military style beret with dark eyes and combat boots. He was shouting a military cadence at the top of his lungs, "I DON'T KNOW BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD, I'LL WIN TOTAL DRAMA, SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH TOLD!"

The teen marched off the boat and Chris greeted him, "Fred, welcome-"

"DO NOT CALL ME FRED, CALL ME SIR! I WILL BE YOUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR AND YOU WILL ALL LISTEN TO ME OR I WILL FORCE YOU TO DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME FIFTY PUSHUPS, YOU HEAR?" Fred shouted angrily.

Philip gave Fred a dirty look, "Sorry, but I can't. You see, I suffer from asthma, so I can't-"

Immediately, Fred marched up to Philip, ripped his inhaler out of his hand and chucked it off the dock and into the water, "THAT'S JUST A CRUTCH, DIRTBAG! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY!"

Suddenly, Olga dived in the lake and grabbed the inhaler, "Here your tube thingy back, Philip. Olga got it back for you!"

"Thanks." Philip replied as Olga swam back to him and gave him his inhaler back.

Tanner glared at the military teen, "Just cause your in the army gives you no right to boss others around! You realize you could go to jail for attempted murder for what you just did there!"

"I DON'T CARE, INHALERS ARE FOR WEAK PEOPLE WITH NO MASCULINITY!" Fred shouted.

Tanner crossed his arms, "Besides, if you keep shouting like that, you're bound to lose your voice someday."

An 8th boat pulled in and there appeared to be a girl holding a monster energy drink hopping up and down excitedly on it. She was albino with pale skin, white hair and red eyes and wore a white tank top with a purple heart on her chest with a purple miniskirt, ankle lengthy white socks and black shoes. She had a camera around her neck and she was waving her arms frantically, "OMGOMGOMGCHRISCHRISCHRIS!"

Chris turned to the 7 teens on the dock and grinned, "Everyone, welcome Chelsea."

The albino teen hopped off the boat and dashed up to Chris, flashing photos of him with her camera, "HelloHelloHelloI'mSoTotallyExcitedToFinallyMeetACelebrityDidYouKnowIDownloadedThatSexTapeOfYouThroughAnIllegalFileSharingSite?"

Chris blinked, "Wait. WHAT?!"

Chelsea nodded, "YeahYoureAllNakedAndStuffAndYoureAllSpankingThatLatinoGirlWhileSheMakesCommentsAboutYourAbnormallySmallWeeewee."

Philip just stared at her in shock, "I have no idea."

Luna just stared as well, "Can I turn her into a frog and eat her for breakfast?"

Tanner walked up to Chelsea and rubbed his chin, "Right, so how many of those energy drinks do you have in a day?"

Chelsea shrugged, "OhIDunnoAbout35NormallyWhyDoYouAsk?"

Tanner shrugged, "Just concerned about your health."

"Everyone make some noise for that metal head bad girl, Mary!" Chris announced as the 9th boat pulled into the dock. On the boat stood a tall girl with pale skin, emerald green eyes, a dark blue mane of eighties hair with matching dark blue lipstick, a spiker dog collar, a black leather jacket with a skull and crossbones on the back, fishnet stockings and long leather boots. She was holding a black electric guitar with blue flames on it, "Hey, Chris. I've come prepared and I'm ready to ROCK this competition!"

Olga smiled at Mary, "Olga like rocks, rocks help break nuts open for nutrients."

Tanner rolled his eyes, "That's not the kind of rock she means, Olga."

Suddenly, Chelsea dashed up to Mary and shook her hand excitedly, "HiThereI'mChelseaAndYouLookReallyCoolAndIWasWonderingThatWhenYouGetOnTheTop40ChartsIfICouldSpyOnYouAndFilmYouNakedAndTakePicturesOfYourNakedFamousBodyAndSellThemOnEbayAnd..."

Mary immediately pulled away, "All right already, I think I get the picture."

The blue haired girl walked down the dock and stood next to Brittany, "So, ya got knocked up, eh?"

Brittany glared at Mary, "Just make sure your heavy metal doesn't wake my baby."

Mary rolled her eyes, "Tch. Fine."

A 10th boat pulls into the dock and a black male teen in a full body of knight armor stands leaps off it, "I have come to save thine maiden from thy dragon's clutches and winneth thine million!"

"Theo, welcome to Total Drama Island." Chris greeted as he shook the hand of the knight.

Fred smiled at him, "ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE A FELLOW SOLDIER!"

Billy dashed up to Theo and shook his hand, "Gee Whiz. So you really are a real knight?"

Theo nodded, "Yes, I am indeed a real knight, thine armor ist real."

Tanner blinked a few times, "Don't you ever get hot with all that armor on? You should really be careful of heartstroke, man."

"Thou is fine, heat is thine least of mine worries with dragons about." Theo replied.

"Oh, brother." Mary rolled her eyes. Theo joined the rest of the teens on the dock as the eleventh boat pulled in. A white redhead girl wearing sunglasses and a black shirt, denim shorts and black shoes. She was holding a pair of bongo drums with her as she hopped off the boat and stared at the other contestants. Theo was grinning and waving, Luna was picking her nose and examining her boogers, Brittany was playing peekaboo with her baby, Tanner and Billy greeted her with smiles, Philip and Fred glared at her, Olga was grooming her monkey, Chelsea was hopping up and down and Mary was playing a few chords on her guitar. "Welcome to camp, Janessa."

The beatnik folded her arms and shook her head, "Looks like dragsville, yo. Bunch of mainstreamers." Janessa walked to the other end of the dock and joined the group.

"Everyone, make some noise for Total Drama's very first ever FURRY contestant, Clark!" Chris announced as the 12th boat pulled in. A large male Native American teen, about the same build as Owen stood on the boat. He had braids in his dark hair and wore a white shirt with a buckskin vest and pants, handpaw gloves, a headband with pointed triangular ears and a fake raccoon tail clipped to the seat of his pants. He was carrying a suitcase and a plush doll of Sly Cooper in his hand.

Clark hopped off the boat and walked up to Chris and the host grinned at him, "Hey, aren't you one of those guys who does naughty things in animal costumes?"

Clark chuckled and shook his head, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Obviously, you've never been to a real furry convention before."

Janessa crossed her arms, "Man, furries are such squares, yo."

Billy looked confused, "Gee whiz, what's a furry?"

Philip rolled his eyes, "Like I said, they just get weirder and weirder."

Mary shrugged, "I don't know, he seems kinda cool."

Luna folded her arms, "He has a lot of meat on him but raccoons give me gas. I'll pass on him."

Clark joined the others at the dock and the 13th boat pulled in. On it stood a teen who looked a lot like Duncan but with a red mohawk, earrings, a blue shirt with a cigarette on it, tan pants and brown shoes. He held a suitcase in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other. The punk-looking teen hopped off the boat, "Yo, Chris. You got a light?"

"Everyone, welcome Ollie. He's a cigarette addict." Chris said with a big grin on his face.

Ollie nodded, "Damn straight I am. Nicotine is for pansies, I'm talking about real deal tobacco, people!"

Tanner raised an eyebrow, "You sure that's healthy? If you're addicted to smoking, you could develop cancer at an early age."

"Shut the hell up! Cigarettes are healthy! Know why? Tobacco is perfectly NATURAL. It comes from plants!" Ollie replied defensively.

Billy smiled, "I've seen some big league baseball players spit tobacco when they go up to bat. Maybe it's a big boy thing."

Tanner turned to Billy, "You stay away from this guy, he not only reeks of cigarettes but of bad influence as well."

Ollie rolled his eyes, "Oh, just shut the hell up. Like I said, anyone got a light?"

Mary rolled her eyes and pulled a KISS lighter out of her leather jacket, "All right, you can borrow mine but only if you promise to give it back to me."

Ollie snickered as he lit his cigarette, "Yeah, whatever." The punk took a long drag of his cigarette and puffed a cloud of smoke into a nearby Philip's face, making him go into a hacking fit and reach for his inhaler.

"The next contestant is not a tobacco addict, but a deep fried inventor, everyone say hi to Adam!" Chris announced as a 14th boat pulled in. On the boat stood a white male teen in an orange shirt with overalls, brown hair, green eyes, red shoes and a coon skin cap. He was carrying a suitcase. The teen jumped off the boy and ran up to Chris, giving the host a high five, "Hiya there, I reckon..."

In a split second, Clark had grabbed to smaller teen by his throat, lifted him up and gave him a death glare, "So tell me, Adam. Does it make you feel like a REAL man to wear one of my murdered bretheren on your head?"

Adam now had a terrified look on his face, "I...uh...uh...your kin?"

Chris stood between the two, "All right, break it up you two. I know it would make great ratings for a furry to choke a redneck to death on national TV but we have a show to do here, people. Save your grudge for the challenges."

Clark dropped Adam like a sack of potatoes and turned to face the shocked contestants. He frowned apologetically, "Sorry, but my blood boils whenever I see someone in a raccoon skin cap. My spirit animal is a raccoon so it makes me feel deeply offended. To me, it's like cannibalism of another human."

Luna shrugged, "Cannibalism? So, what? Children taste good with the right ingredients like eye of newt and wing of bat. Being a witch and all, eating children comes with my resume. Mweeheeheeheehee!""

Everyone ignored Luna's insane comment as Adam got to his feet and brushed himself off, "Ya know...I think I'll introduce mahself later..."

A 15th boat pulled in and on it stood a very young female teen who looked similar to Beth only her hair was blond and in two ponytails. She wore a white lace angel skirt with the picture of a dove carrying an olive branch on it, glasses, black tap shoes and a cross necklace around her neck. She hopped off the boat and gave Chris a great big hug, "Jesus loves you!"

The girl the turned to the rest of the contestants, "Jesus loves ALL OF YOU!"

Mary rolled her eyes, "Oh, gag me with a crowbar. I think I can feel my teeth rotting."

"Everyone, say hello to Ether." Chris announced as the little girl walked up to Luna and hugged her.

"Even Jesus loves witches!" Ether squealed as she hugged Luna.

Luna pushed Ether off of her, "Stop that Jesus nonsense or I will turn you into a big, warty toad!"

Billy glared at Luna, "Hey, that wasn't very nice. She was only trying to be your friend."

Ollie rolled his eyes, "All this Jesus talk makes me wanna light one up. Sunday is my least favorite day of the month cause of all that church crap and alcohol laws. One time I used a holy water dish as an ashtray. Boy oh boy, were those nuns pissed!"

"Finally, last but not least we have our final contestant, Yumi the circus clown!" Chris announced.

Tanner's jaw dropped and a look of horror crossed his face, "Did you just say...a CLOWN?!"

The final boat pulled in and on it stood a somewhat chubby Asian clown girl with white makeup, red lipstick, an orange afro wig, blue stars on her cheeks, an orange and purple checkered jacket with red buttons, big white gloves, yellow banana-bants and white crocs. She jumped off the boat, ran up to Chris and shook his hand. Instantly, the host was zapped by a joy buzzer and immediately, Yumi pulled a coconut cream pie out of her jacket and smashed it in the host's face. She then pulled out a kazoo and blew a single note into it before singing,

When you want to scream

Put away that frown

And never be scared of a clown!

Laugh on, laugh on, laugh on and on and on

You'll never laugh alone!"

Billy, Olga, Chelsea and Ether all aplauded Yumi's performance while most everyone else rolled their eyes at her. Theo smiled at her, "Ah yes, thine court jester hath arrived."

Tanner curled up into a fetal position, sobbing with tears streaming down his face. Yumi walked up to Billy and blew up a balloon, twisting it into the shape of a heart, she presented it to him. Billy blushed, "Gee willickers, is this really for me?"

Yumi nodded, "Of course you can keep it!"

Philip folded his arms, "This place now feels less like a reality show and more like a Halloween party."

Chris smiled at the 16 contestants, "Now as you all know there are 16 on you on the island. That means, you will divide in two teams of 8. One by one, you will be picked off until only one contestant remains to claim the prize of one million dollars."

"Gee Whiz, Chris. How are you going to assign teams?" Billy asked innocently.

Chris chuckled a bit, "Funny you should ask. Everyone, follow me to the greenhouse. Also, by the way there's a confessional on this island so if you ever need to record your personal thoughts or need to vent, that's what you use."

The confessional was the exact same one as the one in TDI. It was a wooden outhouse with a strip of flypaper on the upper left-hand side with graffiti of Kilroy, a skull and crossbones and a heart with an arrow through it craved in the walls as well as a couple toilet paper rolls.

CHELSEA (CC): OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodThisPlaceIsSooooCoolICouldProbablyInstallAnExtraCameraInHereToSpyOnChrisAndTheOtherContestantsToSeeIfTheyGetNakedAndSellTheNudiePixOnEbayEEEEEEEEE!

PHILIP (CC): *facing away from camera* Oooh, restroom graffiti, REAL mature...

CLARK (CC): Being the first furry on Total Drama makes me nervous. I hope Chris doesn't single me out because of it.

BRITTANY (CC): *changes Robby's diaper*

OLLIE (CC): *takes a puff of his cigarette*

MARY (CC): Is it just me or does this confessional smell like dirty diapers and cigarette smoke?

And so, Chris led the 16 campers to the greenhouse and stood in front of the doors, "One by one, each of you will enter this greenhouse and pick a kennel. There are 16 of them. 8 of the kennels are filled with ticked off ferrets that may or may not have been tested for rabies, the other 8 contain really pissed off hawks with razor sharp beaks and talons. Once each of you gets your kennel, you must take the animal out with your bare hands and wrangle it or let it go but you must touch the animal with your bare hands or you WILL be the first one to go home. Any questions?"

Clark raised his paw, "Excuse me, but isn't this a little bit cruel to animals? What if I refuse to harm the animal for spiritual reasons?"

Chris smirked, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Clark. If you refuse this challenge, you are officially eliminated."

Brittany raised her hand as well, "But...what if my little Robby gets bitten or pecked to death?"

Chris shrugged, "Your fault for bringing your baby on the island, lady. Get over it." The host grinned at the 16 campers, "All right, we're going in reverse arrival order so Yumi, you're first up."

The clown girl nodded and entered the greenhouse. She came out with a kennel, opened the door and felt a sharp beak peck at her hand, "OW! I think I got a bird."

The hawk flew out of its cage and started pecking at Yumi's clown wig as she ran around in circles. Chris turned to Ether, "You're up next, Ether."

Ether entered the greenhouse and came out with a cage. She opened the door, reached inside and felt sharp teeth sink into her hand. She pulled out a ferret and started patting it, "Jesus loves you, little ferret."

ETHER (CC): Yeah, like I really meant it. Ferrets are the hellspawn of Satan himself!

Adam let out a sigh, "Let's just git this over with."

The genius redneck entered the greenhouse and came out with a kennel. Opening it, he stuck his hand inside and felt his hand being pecked and he pulled a hawk out. He then noticed Yumi had a hawk too and stood by her.

Ollie sucked in a deep breath of cigarette smoke and entered the greenhouse. He came out with a cage, opened it and stuck his hand inside. Instantly, a hawk flew out of the cage and swiped his cigarette clean out of his mouth, "HEY, YOU STUPID BIRD. GIMME BACK MY SMOKES!"

OLLIE (CC): God, I hate birds.

Ollie joined Yumi and Adam. Clark got up and took and deep breath, "The spirits shall help guide me to fate..."

The Native American furry teen pulled off his paw-gloves, walked into the greenhouse and came out with a cage, opened the door and reached inside. He felt something lick him and he pulled out a ferret and it nuzzled close to him. Tanner stared it amazement, "It didn't bite you?"

Clark smiled, "It can sense that I mean no harm. Our souls must be in sync."

ETHER (CC): Clark is a disgusting furfag and he deserves to yiff in hell. Why do I have to be on the same team as HIM?!

Janessa groaned, "Not cool, looks like I'm next."

The beatnik girl entered the greenhouse and came out with a cage. She opened the door, reached inside and pulled out a dead hawk, "Ewww...what the heck, dog?"

Chris smirked a little, "Oh yeah, I forgot to feed some of them so they kind of you know, died."

Janessa groaned and joined Yumi, Adam and Ollie. Theo eagerly changed into the greenhouse and came out with a cage. He opened the cage door and out flew a hawk which started pecking at his armor. He used his visor to shield himself as he swatted at it, "Back, feathered fiend or I shall lay waste to thee!"

The hawk flew away from Theo and the knight joined Yumi, Adam, Ollie and Janessa.

Mary took a deep breath, "Well, looks like I'm up next." The blue-haired rockstar got up and entered the greenhouse and came out with a kennel. She opened the door and stuck her hand in. Instantly, she heard a hiss and sharp teeth bit into her hand, "OWWW! Dammit, that hurt! Looks like I got a ferret."

Mary walked over to Ether and Clark and joined them.

ETHER (CC): Rock is the devil's music, why do I have to be stuck with this satanic bitch?

Chelsea got up and giddily jogged into the greenhouse and came out with a cage. She opened the door and reached her hand in. Instantly, she was bitten by a ferret and pulled it out, "AwwwwHesSoCuteIThinkIllNameHimPhotographAndTeachHimToSpyOnJohnnyDepp!"

Chelsea joined Ether, Clark and Mary as the ferret latched onto her head and started gnawing on her.

ETHER (CC): Great, now I've got that filthy albino hellspawn on my team. Oh well, Jesus will smite my teammates when the time comes.

Fred marched his way into the greenhouse as he shouted a cadence at the top of his lungs:
I DON'T KNOW BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD
MOLDY SOCKS ARE FULL OF MOLD

The drill instructor teen came out of the greenhouse with a kennel and opened it. Instantly, a ferret shot out of it, lept up and latched onto his crotch with razor sharp fangs, "AHHHHH, MOMMY, GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME, IT'S GOT MY ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS AND I NEED THOSE FOR MY MASCULINITY! WAAAAAAH! MOMMY, HELP ME HELP ME HELP MEEEEEEE!"

PHILIP (CC): Payback is a bitch.

Fred ran up to Ether, Clark, Mary and Chelsea and joined them. Olga cracked her knuckles and got up, "Olga no scared of beasts."

The cavegirl walked into the greenhouse and came out holding a cage. She opened it and a hawk flew out. Instantly, she took her bone out of her hair and clubbed the hawk on the head. It fell to the ground unconscious as most of the contestants applauded her while Clark sadly shook his head in shame. Olga walked over to Yumi, Adam, Ollie, Janessa and Theo and joined them.

CLARK (CC): Personally, I felt that clubbing was cruel and unnecessary.

Luna smirked as she entered the greenhouse, "Now is the perfect time to test my spells."

The witch came out with a cage, opened it and stuck her hand in. Instantly she was pecked by a hawk and it flew out of the cage and started pecking her on the head, "FILTHY BIRD! I shall curse you and all your children for that, my pretty!"

Luna ran away from the hawk and joined Yumi, Adam, Ollie, Janessa, Theo and Olga.

LUNA (CC): So many delicious campers, so little time. MWEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!

Tanner sighed, "All right, looks like I'm up next..."

The teen doctor entered the greenhouse and came out with a cage. He reached his hand in and pulled out a dead ferret, "Ewww."

Tanner dropped the dead ferret to the ground and joined Ether, Clark, Mary, Chelsea and Fred. Clark closed his eyes and hung his head in silence, a single tear rolling down his face for the dead ferret.

Philip took a breath of his inhaler and sighed, "Only 3 cages left..."

Philip adjusted his tie and walked into the greenhouse. He came out with a cage, opened it and pulled out a dead hawk, "Yeah, figures..."

Philip joined Yumi, Adam, Ollie, Janessa, Theo, Olga and Luna. Brittany sighed and handed Ether her baby, "I'm going in, could you watch the baby for me?"

Ether nodded as Brittany entered the greenhouse and came out with a cage. The teen mother opened it up and stuck her hand in only to be bitten by a ferret, "OW! Damn, that really hurt!"

Brittany joined Ether, Clark, Mary, Chelsea, Fred and Tanner. Billy took a deep breath, "Looks like I get the last one. Jeepers, I sure hope I don't get bit."

Billy walked in the greenhouse and exited with the final cage. Taking a deep breath, the retro 50s boy stuck his hand in and pulled out a plush ferret, "Huh?"

Suddenly, he heard a loud ticking and Fred gasped, "IT'S A BOMB, SOLDIER. DROP IT AND RUN!"

Billy yelped in shock as he threw the plush ferret into the air and it exploded in a fiery blast as stuffing and shrapnel rained on the ground. Tanner looked around himself and shook his head.

TANNER (CC): These poor campers, it's a good thing a medical professional like me signed up to be on here.

CHRIS (CC): Haha. I was waiting to see which one got the bomb-ferret.

The campers all moaned, cut up with bites, pecks, scratches and sharpnel pieces as Chris stood there laughing uncontrollably. It took almost 3 whole minutes for the host to stop laughing and regain composure, "All right, teams have been assigned. Billy, Brittany, Tanner, Fred, Chelsea, Mary, Clark and Ether, you guys are now known as the Freezing Ferrets. Philip, Luna, Olga, Theo, Janessa, Ollie, Adam and Yumi, you guys will now be known as the Burning Birds. Since your fire and ice themed teams, you'll be staying in cabins that correspond to the nature of your element. Oh yeah, and try not to get too attached to your roommates because one of you WILL be leaving tonight. Follow me and I'll show you to your cabins."

To be continued...

NOTE: So what do you think of it so far? Who do you think will be the first camper eliminated? And which ones are your favorites?

Here is a list of the campers and stereotypes:

FROSTY FERRETS:
Billy, the All-American 50s boy
Brittany, the Teen Mother
Chelsea, the Paparazzi Pervert
Clark, the Otherkin Furry Fan
Ether, the Secretly Evil Religious Fanatic
Fred, the Obnoxious Drill Instructor
Mary, the Heavy Metal Queen
Tanner, the Med Student

BURNING BIRDS:
Adam, the Redneck Inventor
Janessa, the Beatnik Bitch
Luna, the Wicked Witch Wannabe
Olga, the Cavegirl
Ollie, the Chain Smoker
Philip, the Struggling Con Artist
Theo, the Literal Knight In Shining Armor
Yumi, the Circus Clown

BTW, NAME (CC): indicates a someone using the confessional.