Gail was not a fan of early rising. Yes, she knew that meant she would never get the early worm, take a walk in the morning dew or marvel at the sunrise. And she was absolutely fine with it. Sleep was more important to her. Yet here she was two hours before her shift began, holding a cup coffee and hoping this small corner shop's donuts were fresh. Since she had made the sacrifice to get up, life could at least repay her with warm, freshly fried goodness. Is that too much to ask for?
Gail still had a hard time believing she had actually agreed to a meeting with the last person she wanted to see right now. She guessed she must have been in a fragile state when she had said yes to the the meeting. Ever since her last run-in with Holly Gail had been, as Steve called it, in a perpetual state of bitchiness. Yesterday he had called her a six on the B.M.I., which stood for the bitchy mood index. Steve normally asked her to keep it at a steady three.
But what did he expect? Seeing that Holly had obviously moved on had shaken Gail. A shaky Gail can be a mean Gail, something she readily admitted to herself. She sometimes wished she could change that. But who was she kidding? There was no changing. It's why she had lost Holly. So why again was she sitting on a corner, holding a rapidly cooling cup of coffee and reliving bad memories so early in the morning?
Gail heard the "Sorry I'm late," before she saw the woman rushing to her side. Her blood boiled a bit when she did see her. She did not expect some of the fury inside her to bubble up so soon. But their last meeting was still fresh on her mind. Holly's friend, Lisa, took off her jacket and laid it on the back of her chair before taking a seat beside Gail.
"Traffic was a beast." She said with a smile. Gail took in the other woman's appearance, the wrinkled scrubs she was wearing and the tired look in her eyes. Gail remembered Holly saying she was a plastics resident. Residency could be hard work and long hours. Funny how knowing that Gail still felt no pity and little patience for the woman.
"Thank you for meeting with me."
"Thank you for paying for the two cups of coffee and the dozen donuts I just ordered." Gail returned. Her voice remained flat. Her expression lacked emotion. She was sure Lisa could not tell if she was serious or joking. She noted the surprise on Lisa's face and when that surprise quickly settled into resolve.
"I am sure you are wondering why I called you."
"I'm actually wondering why I returned your call. When I heard the message left on the station's voicemail, it caught me off guard." Gail picked up the menu on the table and perused. "At first I thought I was a glutton for punishment seeing how I was treated the first time we met. Then I thought about the free donuts and realized I'm just a glutton." Gail gave Lisa a thin smile.
Lisa sighed.
"I suppose you think I should apologize for my earlier treatment of you?"
"Well, not if you suppose." Gail said sarcastically.
"Good. Cause I have no plans on apologizing."
Gail looked up at Lisa with eyebrows firmly raised along with her temper. Lisa grabbed a white paper napkin from the table and waved it in the air.
"No need for the I declared war face. Let me explain."
Lisa stopped as the server approached and ordered a heavily caffeine and extremely fancy drink. Gail did not take note because she had no doubt that she would never need to know how Lisa liked her coffee concoctions. When the server turned to her Gail informed him that she had already put in her order. The server walked away and Lisa returned to the topic at hand.
"I'm sure Holly told you we are best friends."
"Yes. I got the memo."
"Well, we are more then that." Gail sat up out of her chair. Her stomach started to sink. Could this woman be a jealous ex? If she was what does it say about Holly that this judgmental shrew was not just a college friend but someone she had once been interested in? Gail eyed Lisa and realized she was still talking, much to Gail's disappointment.
"And since we feel like each other's family, we have taken to taking care of each other. "
"Wait." Gail interrupted. " What did you say about family?"
"Rachel, Holly and I are more than best friends. We are like family."
Gail sat back, relieved. "Holly shared that with me as well."
"Then you can understand why we are protective of Holly." Lisa suddenly went quiet and looked away from Gail. She grabbed a napkin from the table and begin to play with it, rolling and unrolling it between her fingers. She seemed to be working out something in her mind. Gail waited, slowly losing patience. It was a virtue that had never been her virtue. After a moment, Lisa tossed down the destroyed napkin and sighed.
"I am just going to lay it out here,Gail. Rachel and I love Holly like a sister but Holly has always been a... goes with the whim kind of woman."
"Excuse me?" Gail frowned in confusion. Lisa looked as if she struggled to find the words.
"She jumps into relationships quickly, often bruising her head and her heart."
Gail nodded, understanding the message.
"You thought I was a drive thru."
"Exactly." Lisa smiled and nodded back. "And to be fair you two had not known each other long but you two seemed to get serious rather quickly."
"I'm a cop. I can quickly tell when someone is as awesome as Holly." Gail stated simply.
Lisa's smile grew. "Be that as it may, Holly sometimes need an angel and a devil on her shoulder to make her see her relationship reality. Rachel is the angel and I am-"
"The bitch." Gail finished.
Lisa laughed nervously. "I was going to say the devil but okay." She cleared her throat and continued.
"Anyway, my methods may be harsh but it weeds out the bad ones quickly. I am not sorry about it. When you left we thought another weed had bit the dust."
"So why did you call?"
Lisa sighed, a sadness overtaking her tone.
"Holly likes to talk about you. And at first, when we listened all we heard was the whirlwind of another Holly Express speed train relationship. But lately as she tries to explain and comprehend everything we realized how slow she was actually taking things with you. How restrained she's been." Lisa shook her head, seemingly awed by the thought.
"It's not like Holly to go slow. To reminisce about first time holding hands and wistfully speak about movie dates. God, you guys never even had sex!"
Gail looked at Lisa furiously. Just when the lady was gaining some favor. She waited for the judgement of her and Holly's relationship. Lisa blushed.
"Not to say there is anything wrong with that. There isn't. Holly was not unhappy about it. She was only explaining why it wasn't just about the physical with you two. Not to say that physical didn't matter-"
"I get it, Lisa." Gail said sharply. She was staring to see the similarities between Holly and her friend, though Holly was charming when she rambled.
"I still don't see the point in this conversation." Gail appreciated the extra information about Holly but she did not want to digest it with Holly's friend standing by watching her every move. And she did not know what was Lisa's ultimate goal.
"Holly is seeing someone."
"Oh, please." Lisa rolled her eyes dismissively.
"You said it yourself," Gail countered. "Holly moves on quickly."
"That was PG." Lisa stated.
"What does that mean?"
"That was pre-Gail." Lisa smiled.
Gail didn't return her smile. Lisa seemed very sure Holly was still very much attached to Gail. If only Gail was as sure.
Both ladies turned as they saw the door to the coffee shop open. The server returned with a small box and two stemming cups in his hand. He was followed by another server carrying three large boxes.
Gail stood and grabbed her jacket. "This is my cue to leave. By the way did I say a dozen donuts? I totally meant three."
Lisa sat slack-jawed. "You ordered three dozen donuts?"
Gail shrugged. "A girl gets hungry." She grabbed the boxes and her second cup of coffee as Lisa chuckled.
"I'm starting to see why it happened so quickly for Holly."
Gail shrugged again and thanked the server. She turned to leave but stalled when she heard Lisa call her name. She looked at Gail with hope.
"Does today change anything for you?"
Gail stood quietly, pondering the question.
"It depends."
"On what?"
"On how the rest of the day goes." Gail said softly. She wished Lisa a good day then left with an unexpected burst of energy that was unusual for her in the mornings.
When Gail got to the office she sat the donuts in the common area, grabbed three for herself and began the work of going through the overnight police reports. As much as she tried, she could not keep her mind on the cases before her.
Gail relaxed at her desk and watched as her co-workers devoured the donuts from Lisa. She had replayed their conversation three times so far. She tried to piece together the Holly her friend knew with the one she knew. They did seem to fit. She remembered how laid back Holly had been when they first met, how she always seemed to just go with the flow and live in the moment. Her friends may think her jump in mentality was a problem. But Gail adored that about her.
She smiled. It seems that her Holly had flaws at least according to her friends. Gail thought about it, letting herself get use to the idea that her perfect girlfriend was not perfect. That she was not the only one with issues. The thought just made Holly more real and more desirable to Gail. Who in the hell wanted an angel anyway. It was then she realized that she was still thinking of them as a couple. Her smile disappeared as quickly as most of those donuts. She needed to remember. Holly was no longer hers.
Gail jumped out of her seat and grabbed the remaining box of donuts. There were still a few left. She ignored her coworkers' groans of disapproval. Only two thoughts existed in her mind. Holly was not hers and she needed to fix that.
Gail went directly to the lab when she made it to the morgue. But she could not talk herself into just walking in. The place was like Holly's second home. Gail did not want to intrude. She instead watched Holly from the door of the lab. The forensic pathologist was hard at work trying to identify a corpse. She had not looked away from the body once.
"Gail I know you're there."
Gail froze. She had not expected Holly to notice her until she was ready to be noticed. She still had not worked out what she wanted to say to her. What she needed to say.
She grimaced at being caught. "How did you know I was here?"
"I just... I knew." Holly answered uncomfortably. "You can come in."
Gail shook off her nerves and stepped inside the lab. She slid the box of donuts onto Holly's desk just outside the lab.
"I bring treats," Gail announced with a wirily smile.
Holly smiled back though her focus never left the body before her. "I see."
Gail stood there as Holly continued her work. She waited for the feeling that she was intruding to hit. Holly was paying her no attention and the room was so quiet it was as if Dov had just told a joke. Everything should feel awkward to Gail. Only it didn't.
She quickly fell in place with the quiet of the room. As Holly worked, Gail roamed. Not much had changed since she was last there. Everything was as it always was, neat and in order. She settled into a corner andturned her attention back to Holly. She noticed the intense doctor had not moved, hovering around the same spot on the dead man. Gail watched her until Holly gave a frustrated groan and put down her instruments.
"What if we started over?" Gail didn't expect the words to leave her mouth but couldn't stop them either. Holly's eyes connected with hers, just as surprised by the statement. Those beautiful eyes quickly grew sad.
"Gail..."
Gail did not like the way Holly said her name. She ignored the silent plea and continued on.
"What if we forgot about the bad stuff? What if I tried not to run away when I got scared? What if-" Gail groaned angrily. "It's not just me Holly."
Holly looked away.
"I know."
Gail did not believe her.
"You didn't stick up for me. I would never have let any of my friends talk about you that way."
Holly's hands tightened on the table in front of her, her only sign of distressed.
"You're right."
"Holly, you called me fun." Gail's voice showed signs of desperation. She just wanted Holly to understand. "You blew me off as fun."
"No." Holly said firmly. "I would never... I just got tired of explaining how we work... why we work."
Gail felt as if she had run out of defenses. Everything left would leave her open. She wanted to tell Gail about her conversation with Lisa. How the conversation helped to understand Holly's point of view. Now she just wanted Holly to do the same. But she knew if she told Holly about Lisa It may take a turn for the worse. No one liked to be discussed about behind their backs.
Things got quiet. Holly went back to work. And Gail got another care of word diarrhea.
"We do, you know Holly." Holly looked up to find Gail carefully watching her. "We do work."
Holly stared up at the ceiling with a pained look on her face.
"Gail, I'm seeing someone."
"Then stop." Gail begged. "Stop seeing them. Look at me. See me."
Holly's glance fell on Gail. But it was not one of optimism.
"I do see you. You are not ready Gail."
"Come on Holly. Let me just-"
"No. You are not ready."
Holly returned to her work. Gail swallowed hard holding back the tears.
"I'm starting to hate this room. Everything is dead here."
"Gail... "
She did not wait to hear Holly's next statement. When her back stern as stone, Gail walked out.