Mary, Brittany, Ether and Chelsea all entered the girls' side of the Frost Ferrets cabin only to feel a significant temperature drop. They all looked down at the floor and noticed it was litterally covered in snow. Mary hugged herself for warmth, "Damn, it's colder that a witch's tit in here."

Ether grinned at her surroundings, "I like it, it reminds me of Christmas time. I think I'm going to build a snowman. Would any of you like to help?"

Chelsea raised her hand and hopped up and down, "OooohMeMeMePickMeLetsMakeANakedLeonardoDecaprioSnowmanWithACarrotWeewee!"

Brittany crossed her arms and glared at her fellow teammates, "You're all so immature. You have no idea what parenthood is like. Besides, I don't like it here, the milk in my breasts might freeze and my little Robby Wobby will starve!"

Mary glared at Brittany, "Then you shouldn't even brought him here in the first place, lady. Besides, you have the nerve to call us immature while you're the one who probably fooled around and got knocked up."

BRITTANY (CC): Mary is such a bitch! How dare she call me immature, I'm an excellent mother!

MARY (CC): Once this show ends, I'm pretty sure Brittany will get a visit from CPS.

Meanwhile, the Frosty Ferret boys are getting situated in their snowy new room. "G-g-g-gee Wh-wh-wh-whiz it sure is f-f-f-freezing in here!" Billy shivered.

Fred shoved Billy face-first into the snow-covered floor, "BITE THE BULLET, PANSY! THIS IS HOW REAL MEN LIVE!"

Tanner shot a glare at Fred, "Was that really necessary, Fred? Like I said, just because you're in the military it gives you no right to bully others, especially those smaller than you."

Clark nodded, "The doctor has a point, you know, this brings to mind an old folklore tale my grandfather once told me..."

"SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE, I DON'T WANNA HEAR NO SILLY OLD FART FANTASY STORIES, GIMME A WAR STORY ANYDAY ABOUT EXPLODING TANKS AND THAT KINDA STUFF!" Fred shouted as he got in Clark's face.

"Yes, because stories with exploding tanks are oh-so-rich with culture." Clark replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"EXACTLY" Fred agreed, Clark's sarcasm going clear over his head.

Tanner helped pick Billy up off the floor and brushed the snow off him, "You okay, Billy?"

Fred turned and glared at Tanner, "DON'T YOU BABY HIM LIKE SOME SISSY GIRLY MOTHER, HE NEEDS TO FIND OUT HIS TRUE MANLY SELF AND HE NEEDS TO EAT BEEF JERKY!"

As Tanner and Fred argued in the background, Billy turned and faced Clark who was the only one that wasn't shivering, "G-G-Golly, Clark. How do you manage to stay so warm in this environment?"

Clark smiled warmly at the 50s style teen, "Simple, I call upon the energy of my spirit animal and I feel the fur growing on my body, insulatiing me with warmth."

Billy smiled at him, "Gee, what do you think my spirit animal is?"

Clark shook his head, "One does not pick a spirit animal, Billy. When I was young, the tribal elders took me on a vision quest so I could find my spirit animal. I listened to the spirits and they told me that my spirit animal is the raccoon. Ever since then, I've kind of gotten obsessed with them. The medicine man on my tribe performed many rituals on me to strengthen my connection with nature, that's why I can calm even the most viscous beasts."

BILLY (CC): Gee whiz, Clark sure is smart, I think I can learn lots from him!

CLARK (CC): I like it when Billy says golly, it reminds me of Gadget Hackwrench.

FRED (CC): WHAT A BUNCH OF WHINY, GIRLY MAGGOTS! THEY SHOULD ALL WEAR DRESSES AND STAY IN THE KITCHEN!

Meanwhile, the Burning Birds boys have just entered their cabin and it is literally a sauna in there. The entire room is foggy with steam as Philip sits down and unpacks his things.

Adam walked in and sat down next to Philip, "Look on the bright side, Phil. I reckon this place would make an excellent nebulizer."

Philip sighed and took a breath from his inhaler, "Catching a cold in the least of my worries with Smokey the punk on our team. I think we should kick him off the first chance we get, nothing good can come of cigarettes."

Suddenly, Theo entered the sauna with sweat pouring down his face, "Thine place is as hot as a dragon's lair. Ye armor may rust soon."

Suddenly Ollie barged in the door and shoved Theo out of the way, "Move it, ya oversized Tin Can!"

The punk-looking teen lit up a cigarette and started hacking his lungs out. Philip folded his arms, "Doesn't that make you feel just the smallest bit ill?"

Ollie smirked at Philip, "You're just a pansy because you can't smoke like I can. See this stick? It's too hot for you to handle but I'm more than happy to share the vapors!"

ADAM (CC): Ollie is disgustin. I reckon one day he'll keel over dead with a cigarette in his fingers.

PHILIP (CC): I seriously hope our team loses so I can vote that smoke factory off.

OLLIE (CC): If you can't handle the smoke, you might as well stay home and cry like a bitch.

Meanwhile, the Burning Birds girls were sitting on the bunk beds of their cabin. Olga smiled warmly as she lay about in total relaxation. Luna glared at the cavegirl, "What are you so calm for? It's as hot as a furnace in here! I can't cook up my spells in this kind of heat, you know."

Olga smiled to herself, "Olga like it here. Remind her of home in jungle. Very humid, so used to temperature."

Yumi squirted herself in the face with her flower to cool herself off. Janessa groaned a little, "This heat is the dragsville, yo. I'm gonna go look for a coffee shop and get myself an ice cold latte. You guys can't come cause only cool cats are allowed, ya dig?"

Luna rolled her eyes, "There isn't a coffee shop around for miles, you could always make coffee out of elk poop, you know. Personally, I like my coffee brewed with toadstool fungus."

"Elk poop?" Janessa raised an eyebrow, "Nasty, yo. Don't tell me that. I'm gonna go pactice my slam, ya dig? Summer camp is dragsville..."

JANESSA (CC): Man, can't believe I'm stuck with a bunch of mainstream sheep.

OLGA (CC): Olga have strange roommates but seem to get along well but Olga think Ollie gross, glad he on boy's side cabin.

LUNA (CC): If any of my teammates step out of line, I WILL put a curse on them and their little dogs, too!

Chris' voice came across the loudspeaker, "Campers, repeat to the mess hall immediately. Your first challenge starts in 15 minutes. Are you a little thirsty? Cause I got some refreshments for you!"

All 16 campers arrived at the mess hall and sat down. On both tables sat 8 six packs of Coke.

"Our challenge is to...drink soda?" Philip raised an eyebrow.

Chris frowned, "It's only the first part of the challenge. Recently, I came across an internet article about this woman who died from drinking too much and holding in for a Wii, so I figured with a danger level that high, why not make it into a challenge? Each of you will gulp down an entire six pack of soda. Chef will then lead you to the outdoor amphitheater where you will all watch a documentary on spring water and Niagara Falls while fans blow on you at full blast. The last contestant standing wins immunity for their team. Any questions?"

Adam raised his hand, "Uhhhhh...mah kin won't let me have soda. Type 1 diabetic. Can I git water instead?"

Chris groaned and folded his arms, "Oh, all right. Chef, fetch the hillbilly 6 bottles of spring water."

BILLY (CC): Gee whiz, this challenge sure sounds swell. It reminds me of the times Peggy Sue and I drank out of the soda fountain at the diner back at home.

CHELSEA (CC): IThinkICanTotallyPullOffThisChallengeOneTimeIDidAStakeoutAtTomCruisesHouseForAWholeWeekAfterDrinkingTwoGallonsOfEnergyDrinkAndIDidNotPeeASingleDrop.

Clark stared clapping his paws together and singing:

Come along, you belong

Feel the fizz of coo coo cola

Mary gasped with delight, "You're a fan of Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers, too?"

Clark nodded, "Watched the show constantly as a kid, Gadget was my first cartoon crush."

Mary grinned, "Is that so? Dale was MY first cartoon crush. He reminded me so much of myself as a kid, messy room, horror comics, staying up late. I even wrote a love song to him as a kid but all my classmates laughed at me for it."

Brittany raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me but...cartoon crushes? You two are a couple of losers if you actually had romantic feelings about cartoon characters. ESPECIALLY cartoon animals. They aren't real, they're just animated ink and paint. Why don't you go out and get real lovers?"

Mary crackled her knuckles and turned to face Brittany, "Ya know, lady, if your baby wasn't with you, I'd knock your teeth clean out of your face."

Brittany folded her arms, "Go ahead and punch me, you blue-haired punk rock lesbo."

Mary rolled her eyes, "For starters, I'm a metalhead not a punk rocker. Also, I'm straight, just because I wear black leather doesn't make me a lesbian."

"Ooooooh, cat fight!" Ollie blurted out loud, laughing before going into a hacking fit.

BRITTANY (CC): If I didn't have my baby with me, I would kick that punk bitch's ass!

MARY (CC): Brittany disgusts me. When this whole game is over, I'm calling CPS on her.

Tanner gets in between Mary and Brittany, "All right you two, break it up. I only carry so much gauze with me so I can't have the two of you at each other's throats."

Clark nodded, "Tanner is right, we need to focus on the challenge."

"Love thy neighbor...or in this case love thy roommate." Ether agreed.

ETHER (CC): Everyone on my team except for Billy pisses me off. Once I get to the merge, I will beat the bible into every last one of them if I have to!

CLARK (CC): A challenge where we have to drink a six pack and hold our bladder while watching a documentary on a waterfall? I can feel my spirit animal already marking his territory!

Luna turned to Philip, "This Niagara Falls...it isn't made up of holy water is it?"

Philip shook his head, "I sincerely doubt it was blessed by a priest, Luna. As far as I'm concerned, it's perfectly natural. And besides, we're only watching a documentary. It's not like we're going to the actual place."

Janessa rolled her eyes, "Why does is have to be dragsville mainstream Coca Cola? I'm not a commercialism sheeple person, yo. Chris, can you hook me up with some latte?"

Chris folded his arms, "No can do, you'll have to go with soda."

Janessa folded her arms, "But...Adam gets water, so why can't I get my coffee?"

"Because we have extra bottled water on hand, no extra iced latte. Deal with it, Janessa." Chris replied as Chef handed him an ice coffee and he took a sip of it.

And so, the 16 contestants sat down at the table and they all got down to drinking their sodas. Ollie quickly sucked down an entire soda and hacked a coke and tobacco filled loogie on Janessa's face as the beatnik sat across from him. Janessa simply glared at him in disgust as she sipped her soda. Theo lifted the visor on his helmet as he gulped his Coke down while Olga tried smashing her cans with a rock and licked the pooling soda off the surface of the table. Philip calmly drank his cans while Adam gulped down his water. Yumi opened her soda up and poured it all over her head, laughing goofily while Luna cackled evilly and pretended her soda was a magic elixir.

Meanwhile, at the Frosty Ferrets' table, everyone was about to drink before Ether interrupted them, "Wait a minute! Shouldn't we all say grace and thank the lord Jesus Christ for this good meal?"

Mary rolled her eyes, "Seriously? I wouldn't call a six pack of sodas a meal. Besides, this isn't Thanksgiving Dinner." The blue haired rocker girl chugged her soda and let out a loud belch.

Fred folded his arms, "SO YOU THINK A WOMAN LIKE YOU CAN OUTBELCH A MAN LIKE ME, HUH?!" The soldier guzzled his soda and let out a real loud belch.

"Bring it on, jarhead. I'll outbelch you any day of the week!" Mary challenged, grabbing another soda and chugging it. Clark, Tanner, Ether and Billy all gingerly sipped their sodas as they watch Mary and Fred's burping contest.

ETHER (CC): Mary is a hellspawn and probably a lesbian as well. I can't wait for Jesus to cleanse that bitch off the face of the Earth. Judgement Day won't be so kind to THAT swine.

BILLY (CC): *sigh* It's too bad it isn't rootbeer. I could really go for a rootbeer float right about now...

Chelsea was busy gulping her sodas like no tomorrow, hopping up and down in her seat like a jackrabbit on speed, "OhYesOhYesOhYesThisIsGoodReallyReallyGoodItRemindsMeOfTheTimeISlippedSleepingPillsInJustinTimberlakesDrinkAndPulledHisPantsDownAndSnappedABunchOfPhotosOfHisDingDong!"

CHELSEA (CC): IReallyReallyNeedToUpdateMyNudeCelebritiesBlogWithThoseTimberlakePictures.

Brittany shared her soda with her baby, Robby and Tanner raised an eyebrow at her. Brittany shot the teen doctor a glare, "What are you staring at? It's not like I'm giving him alcohol!"

In about 25 minutes, all 16 campers had gulped down their sodas and they all followed Chris and Chef to the outdoor amphitheater and sat in the stands. Chris turned to face them, "Ladies and gentlemen, the Chris Maclean theater would like to proudly present "National Geographic's Niagara Falls". Just sit back, relax and try not to pee your pants! Chef, are you ready?"

Janessa rolled her eyes and instantly exited the amphitheater, "National Geographic? Television for squares and librarians, yo. Mainstream school programming. Lamesville, dog..."

Chris shrugged, "Looks like Janessa's out. Everyone else, enjoy the show."

Chris clicked the remote and the movie began to start. A female narrator spoke, "Niagara Falls is one of the greatest wonder of the world. Sitting on the border of New York and Ontario, this famous landmark boasts three tremendous waterfalls: The Horseshoe, the American and the Bridal Veil..."

About 10 minutes into the documentary Billy hopped up, "Gee whiz, I really gotta whiz! I'm so sorry, everyone!"

The 50s style teen got up and jogged over to some bushes. "And Billy is out!"

Olga took a deep breath and shook her head, "Olga can no hold in longer. Must go peepee or explode."

The cavegirl exited the amphitheater as Chris announced, "Olga is out."

Theo suddenly felt a dampness in the crotch area of his armor, "I...think I just rusted thine armor."

"And Theo is out!"

THEO (CC): Thine heart is noble and strong but thy bladder is weak.

Yumi suddenly got up and jogged out of the amphitheater to squat behind a bush.

"And Yumi is out!" Chris announced.

PHILIP (CC): This is not good. Half of our team is down. I'll have to step up my game and hold in it as long as I can.

Adam, Brittany, Chelsea, Clark, Ether, Fred, Luna, Mary, Philip, Ollie and Tanner were now left. 20 minutes passed and Chris turned his remote to Level 2. Suddenly, fans shot up out of the ground and started blowing on the contestants full blast. Brittany got up, "My baby and I both have to pee. Mothers' instincts, you know."

Brittany got up and love as Chris announced, "Brittany is out!"

Clark whimpered as he tucked his raccoon tail between his legs, "I uh...think I gotta go mark my territory now. Sorry guys!"

The Native American made a mad dash from the bleachers to the bushes as Chris announced, "Clark is out!"

Luna got up, "I KNEW I shouldn't have drank all that toadstool tea before the challenge."

Fred stood up, "THERE COMES A TIME IN A SOLDIER'S LIFE WHERE HE MUST TAKE A WHIZ AND NOW IS THAT TIME!"

Luna and Fred made a mad dash for the bushes as Chris announced, "Luna and Fred are out!"

Adam, Chelsea, Ether, Mary, Ollie, Philip and Tanner now remained on the bleachers. 20 more minutes passed and it was 40 minutes into the documentary at this point. Chris cranked the remote button to level 3 and shower heads sprouted from the fans and began spraying water on the 7 remaining contestants.

Tanner got up, "I gotta go. You know, for the sake of my health."

Adam got up as well, "Ah agree. Ah feel like Ah'm about to burst."

The doctor and redneck got up and left the bleachers to go behind some bushes.

"Tanner and Adam are out!"

A few minutes passed and Ether got up, "I can't take it anymore. Oh well, I guess Jesus still loves me."

Ether got up and made a mad dash out of the bleachers and Mary got up as well, "Even I know when I'm beat. Chelsea, I'm counting on you."

CHELSEA (CC): ImPrettyConfidentICanWinThisChallengeLikeISaidBeforeICanHoldMyBladderForASuperLongTime.

Mary got up and left as Chris announced, "Mary is out!"

Chelsea, Ollie and Philip now sat in the bleachers. Chris smirked as he turned the dial to 4. Suddenly, a loud rumbling was heard and a huge waterfall poured down the bleachers, drenching the 3 campers and extinguishing Ollie's lit cigarette, "WHAT? It put my light out. DAMMIT! Screw this, I'm outta here!"

"And Ollie is out!" Chris announced as the smoker got up and left.

Chelsea and Philip now stood in the bleachers. 10 more minutes passed before Philip slowly stood up, "I..."

There was a long silence as Philip had literally peed his pants. He buried his face in his hands and stormed off sobbing.

"CHELSEA WINS IMMUNITY FOR THE FROSTY FERRETS!" Chris shouted. The albino girl stood up and hopped up and down excitedly as all the contestants got up from the bushes and gathered at the amphitheater stage. Tanner, Mary, Clark, Ether, Fred, Brittany and Billy all cheered as they carried Chelsea all the way back to their cabin.

CLARK (CC): We won our first challenge and none of us are going home tonight! I think I'll celebrate by working on my fursuit.

BRITTANY (CC): I hope Luna is the first to go. How dare she threaten to eat my baby!

ROBBY (CC): *giggles happily and claps his hands*

BILLY (CC): I hope Peggy Sue and mom and pop are watching this back at home.

CHELSEA (CC): YayIWonMyTeamImmunity!

Chris turned to the Burning Birds, "Burning Birds, looks like you're all burned out. One of you will be blasted off tonight."

Philip raised an eyebrow, "Blasted off?"

"You'll see soon enough." Chris smirked.

Later, the Burning Birds were all gathered at their table in the mess hall. There was a long silence before Olga spoke up, "So who we vote off?"

Luna crossed her arms, "Janessa is pretty useless. I'd like to turn her into a cricket, feed her to a baby and then eat the baby."

Philip blinked a few times, "Why are you so obsessed with eating babies?"

Luna shrugged, "It's what us witches do, especially witches that live in candy houses. MWEEHEEHEE!"

Janessa rolled her eyes and played slam poetry her bongo drums, "Mainstream witches. Eat babies. Uncool, daddy-o."

"I say we vote off Ollie, that smoking habit of his is disgusting." Philip replied.

Ollie glared at Philip, "Why me? You're an asthmatic wuss who can't handle cigarette smoke plus you wet your pants and cried like a baby. You should be first to go."

"Olga agree with Philip. Puff puff man smell bad." The cavegirl replied, petting her monkey Eep Eep on the head.

Theo looked around himself, "So, hath thou all settled on who to vote off tonight?" Everyone nodded, "Then let us maketh haste and vote thy first person off!"

Next chapter, the elimination ceremony!