Chris stood at the Total Drama docks, dressed in a lion costume as he turned and faced the camera, "Last time on Total Drama Fire & Ice, things heated up a little bit. Brittany threw a dirty diaper in Mary's face which was ratings gold AND she pulled a Casey Anthony by throwing her baby into the river. The campers had to bungee jump from a helicopter with buckets of water to put out a forest fire. Thanks to Yumi and her swimming pool, the birds won the challenge when the ferrets had to blast someone off. In the end, Brittany AKA Casey Anthony was the second camper to go with a well-deserved farewell beating from her fellow ferrets. But hey, we can forget about all that negative stuff and just Hakuna Matata, am I right? Stay tooned for a new episode here only on Total Drama Fire & Ice!"

*I wanna be famous theme song plays*

The sun rose on the newly rebuilt Camp Wawanakwa as Mary woke up with a yawn in the girls side of the Frosty Ferrets cabin. She looked around, "No babies crying, no smelly diapers, no breastfeeding. I'm glad that psycho is gone."

Ether noded as she shifted in her bed, "What she did was very sinful but hopefully Jesus has enough compassion in his heart to forgive her."

Mary rolled her eyes, "No one in their right mind would forgive something like that, Messiah or not."

Chelsea nodded, "IMayBeCrazyAndAllMyselfButImNoEvilBabyKillerIHopeBrittanyGetsWhatsComingToHerInPrison."

Ether sighed, "Anyway, I'm going to pray for Robby and hope he finds peace in the afterlife. He expired way too soon if you ask me."

Mary nodded, "You've got a good point, Ether. It's too bad some folks are born with scumbag parents. I wouldn't be surprised if Brittany is perma-banned from the competition. I doubt she'll show up for any aftermath shows or the finale."

Ether shook her head and sighed, "If Jesus were in charge, I think he'd allow Brittany to go on Aftermath and the finale. He's just that kind and forgiving."

Mary rolled her eyes, "Don't be so naive, Ether. Chris runs the show here and he's no Jesus. Anyway, I'm hoping that Brittany burns in hell for what she did. I have no tears of sympathy to cry for her."

ETHER (CC): Of course Jesus never forgives Brittany. She's gonna burn in hell but then again, so will Mary!

MARY (CC): I think Ether is a little too blind in her faith. I hope she comes to her senses and becomes more grounded.

CHELSEA (CC): ThatEliminationCeremonyLeftAReallyBadTasteInMyMouthNotJustTheIckyMarshmallowsButTheWholeBrittanyFiascoOhWellIMightAsWellGoToTheCommunalAndPleasureMyselfToMyCelebrityPorn.

Meanwhile, on the boys' side of the Frosty Ferrets cabin, Fred was once again shouting at the top of his lungs, "RISE AND SHINE, MAGGOTS! THIS IS THE MILITARY AND WE'RE GOING TO MARCH AND SING LOUD SONGS OR I WILL MAKE YOU SCRUB THE FLOOR WITH TOOTHBRUSHES!"

Clark rolled his eyes as he nailed a dream catcher to the wall, "Right, just don't start whining when we fall asleep during challenges because your loud voice kept us up all night."

Tanner nodded, "Clark's right. Sharing a cabin with you, I've had the worst sleep in my life."

Fred glared at them, "YOU FLUFFY PINK POODLES ARE TOO LAZY, NO BREAK FOR YOU!" The military teen looked around the cabin, "WHERE IS THE BASEBALL KID AT? HE NEEDS HIS DRILL INSTRUCTOR!"

Tanner rolled his eyes, "That baseball kid has a name, you know."

Clark raised an eyebrow, "Does Billy ring any bells?"

Fred folded his arms, "I DON'T CARE ABOUT NAMES, SOLDIERS ARE BORN TO BE FIGHTING MACHINES AND SHOULD HAVE NUMBERS OR NICKNAMES ASSIGNED TO THEM!"

Clark chuckled a bit, "So, what do you plan on doing, microchipping everyone and shaving their heads? Sorry, but the only nickname I go by is Rascal and that's only when I'm in character as my fursona."

Fred frowned and glared at Clark, "FURRIES DON'T BELONG IN THE MILITARY, THEY'RE WAY TOO GIRLY AND SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS!"

Clark smirked a little, amused by Fred's antics, "Just go and say that to my friends on Furaffinity who actually ARE in the military. I dare you."

Fred scowled again, "I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO TALK TO GIRLY ANIMAL PEOPLE, ONLY TIME TO SHOOT GUNS, MARCH AND EAT BEEF JERKY!"

CLARK (CC): Fred has the IQ of a cornflake. I can think of fursuit parts that are much smarter than he is.

FRED (CC): WHEN I GET FAMOUS, PEOPLE WILL FOREVER CALL ME SERGEANT YESSIR NOSIR IDUNNOSIR AND I WILL START MY OWN MILITARY SCHOOL!

Meanwhile, on the boys side of the Burning Birds cabin, Adam was fast asleep and Philip looked over to him with a gentle smile. Theo was busy polishing his armor with a rag on his bed when he turned and faced Philip, "So how doth is feel to winneth thine challenge? Maybe we can starteth thy winning streak."

Philip sighed and shook his head, "Easier said than done, our team is full of wildcards compared to the other team. If we lose, who do you think we should vote off?"

Theo chuckled and shook his head, "Thou is such a pessimist. If we putteth our best foot forward, we shall winneth are next challenge."

Philip squirted a breath of his inhaler into his mouth, "Well, let's hope so. By the way, how did you become a knight in the first place?"

"I woth in thy military, training until I received true knighthood. My life is a simple one, liveth in thine castle, go save thy maiden, joust against thine black knight and enjoy a drink at thy pub." Theo replied with a smile.

Philip blinked a few times, "So, you're telling me that you're an actual knight?"

Theo nodded, "And chivalry is parteth of thine code of honor."

PHILIP (CC): Renaissance geeks. Go fig. By the way, Adam does look kinda cute when he sleeps.

THEO (CC): Philip doth worry too mucheth. We shall winneth thine challenge or my name nae be Sir Theodore McArmor III!

Meanwhile, on the female side of the Burning Birds' cabin, Luna was tossing a ball of yarn to her pet black cat, Midnite while Olga shared a banana with her monkey, Eep Eep. The cavegirl smiled at the witch, "So Luna, where you from? You from jungle like me and Eep Eep?"

Luna shook her head, "No, I live in a cottage out in the woods. It's the perfect place to prey on and eat unsuspecting travelers. I don't really get lonely because my pets keep me company. My parents had me sent to the nut house cause they said I was taking the witch thing too far so I found an abandoned shed, ran away and lived there ever since."

Olga shook her head, "Olga not know parents very well. Raised by monkies, learned English from picture box thingy with people in it. It teach Olga well. Me not have good English, but me know to survive."

Suddenly, Janessa opened to door and peered down at a bouquet of roses and picked it up. On it, it read, "To my beautiful dreamboat, I love you, Yumi."

Janessa groaned a little, "Hey, everyone. Looks like some poor homie's got a crush on mainstream clown girl."

Olga ran up and took the roses and handed them to Yumi, "Yumi get love letter, but who send it?"

Suddenly, Yumi turned the boquet upside down and a baseball rolled out. She picked up the baseball and grinned.

Janessa raised an eyebrow, "That American square boy has a crush on you? Lamesville, best off dumping him and getting a cool cat."

Olga folded her arms and glared at Janessa, "But this romantic! Clown girl and ball boy in love. Yumi and Billy make cute couple."

"And a delicious couple if you add some skunk cheese and toenail clippings." Luna added, smirking.

Suddenly, Yumi dashed out of the sauna of a cabin with the bouquet in her hand.

OLGA (CC): It must be great to love. Olga wonder if Philip like her too? Maybe?

LUNA (CC): Love is in the air and so are toxic mold spores! MWEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!

YUMI (CC): *hugs her bouquet*

Yumi unfolded the note and read it to herself. It said, "Meet me at the dock before challenge time, I have a surprise for you. Love, Billy."

The clown took off full speed for the dock and it wasn't long before she noticed Billy sitting there, staring into the water. The 50s style teen smiled and gestured for Yumi to come closer and the clown sat next to him on the dock. Billy chuckled a bit before turning to Yumi with a blush on his face, "I uh...picked those flowers for you, Yumi. I snuck out so Fred wouldn't find me. I have another present right under my hat." Billy pulled his cap off and presented Yumi with a few packets of chocolate malt mixture, "My friend Johnny's father owns a malt shop and he was swell enough to give me a few packets to take on the island before I sighed up. Gee whiz, I sure hope you enjoy it."

Yumi smiled back as Billy handed her the malt mixture packets and then she pulled out a balloon and started blowing it up. The clown then twisted it into the shape of a puppy and gave it to Billy.

Billy blushed at the balloon dog, "For me? Gee whiz, Yumi, that sure is keen of you to give me my own balloon dog like this! I think I'll name him Rex!"

BILLY (CC): I sure hope Peggy Sue won't be too mad at me back at home but...I think I've really fallen for Yumi.

YUMI (CC): *blows a kiss*

The clown girl and all-American boy were ready to kiss when suddenly, Chris' voice blared over the loudspeaker, "ATTENTION CAMPERS, MEET ME AT THE MESS HALL IN 8 MINUTES, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR ALL OF YOU!"

Later, the 14 contestants filed into the mess hall and saw a wide screen TV and Chris was standing in front of it. Olga blinked a few times, "We watch people on big square box thingy?"

"Correction, Olga. We're watching lions on the big square box thingy." Chris replied, "We're all watching The Lion King!"

Mary raised an eyebrow, "We're watching a Disney movie for a challenge? Seriously, are you losing your edge, Chris?"

Janessa groaned a little, "Lion King? Mainstream movie for furry fandom sheep, yo. Why can't we be watching a good Disney movie like The Black Cauldron?"

Luna nodded with agreement, "Yeah, the Horned King is much scarier than Scar!"

"IHaveAPrettyLargeCollectionOfRule34GurgiPornOnMyLaptopBackAtHome." Chelsea blurted out, causing Janessa and Luna to give her weird stares. Chelsea blushed a little, "ItWasAPhaseIWentThrough."

Chris folded his arms, "No, we're not going to watch The Black Cauldron instead to appeal to your hipster tastes, Janessa."

"Dragsville..." The beatnik groaned, "Lion sheeple movie, mainstream programming for preschoolers, librarians and furries."

"Anyway, I thought watching the movie would be too simple for the first part of the challenge so I brought these shock collars to keep your emotions in check." Chris explained, "Cry over Mufasa's death and you will get a REALLY painful electric shock that will make you cry for a completely different reason!"

BILLY (CC): Mufasa dies? Golly, I think Chris just spoiled the movie for me.

CLARK (CC): That is so not fair. I know the movie by heart and I cry every time Mufasa dies. What the heck is WRONG with Chris?!

"The Lion King? Whereth art thou Lion Queen? Of courseth thy lion must hath a mate." Theo asked.

Chris shrugged, "Don't ask me, I'm not the one who created the movie."

Fred folded his arms, "WHY DO WE HAVE TO WATCH A SISSY CARTOON MOVIE? I WANT A WAR FLICK WITH LANDMINES AND BARBED WIRE AND EXPLODING BODY PARTS AND MACHINE GUNS AND MILITARY SONGS, NOT A CARTOON ABOUT STUPID LIONS!"

Janessa folded her arms, "Besides, Lion King is a complete RIPOFF of Kimba The White Lion, yo."

Clark smirked a little, "Oh snap, Janessa. You did not just go there!"

"You heard me, dawg. I went there all right. Want me to take it even further?" Janessa asked with a satisfied smirk.

Philip glared at Janessa, "I'll have you know that Lion King is one of the best animated movies and to be fair, Simba is not an albino and there are no hunters in The Lion King."

Janessa grumbled a bit, "Whatever, yo. Still an overrated ripoff of a better program."

JANESSA (CC): Kimba is WAY better than conformist commercialism sheeple Simba, yo. It's a fact, not an opinion.

Janessa just rolled her eyes and exited the mess hall, "You all go watch your mainstream movie while I practice my slam, ya dig? What a bunch of sheep..."

There was an awkward silence as Janessa left and Chris spoke up, "All righty then. Campers, sit down at your tables and apply your shock collars. We're starting the movie!"

Adam raised his hand, "Ah know ah'm not a big fan of chef's food but kin he at least cook up breakfast as we watch?"

Chris groaned and folded his arms, "Fine! Any other questions before we start?"

Tanner raised his hand, "Just how strong are these shock collars?"

Chris shrugged, "Powerful enough to paralyze a fully grown adult male bear. Why do you ask?"

Tanner groaned, "I'll try to keep my emotions in check, then."

And so, Chris pressed the remote and the movie started playing. The 13 campers minus Janessa all sat down and watched the movie. It came to the "I Just Can't Wait To Be King" musical number part when Fred stood up, "I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SUPER GAY MOVIE, I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE AND DO SOMETHING MANLY LIKE EAT BEEF JERKY OR SHOOT A GUN, I'LL SEE YOU GAY PINK FART-SKUNKS LATER!"

And with that, Fred marched put of the mess hall and Chris pressed a button on his remote, electrocuting the soldier and Fred could be heard screaming, "MOMMY, IT REALLY BURNS MY NECK!"

About 30 minutes passed and Mufasa's death scene started playing on the screen. Billy was sobbing so hard that his collar was zapping the daylights out of him, Mary gently wiped the tears trickling down Clark's face with her fingers as he whimpered softly but that didn't stop the both of them from being zapped. Adam, Olga, Philip, Theo and Chelsea also received electric shocks from crying during the scene. Ether and Luna were the only ones who didn't cry and Tanner could barely hold his emotions in. When Timon and Pumbaa came on the screen, Olga and Billy started cheering for them even through it was their very first time watching the movie. Mary whispered to Clark about her childhood crush on Timon and he just laughed heartily. Yumi was busy blowing up balloons and twisting them into the shapes of the characters and in about 20 minutes, the movie came to a close and the campers stood up, having finished watching the movie and eating breakfast. Most were covered with electrical burns for crying over Mufasa's death and the water of their tears only helped conduct the electricity.

Chris just chuckled a bit as he turned back on the lights, "Call Fred and Janessa back in, this is where the second part of the challenge starts."

Olga got up and walked out the mess hall door, "FRED! JANESSA! WE START REAL CHALLENGE NOW! CHRIS SAY!"

The soldier and hipster girl groaned as they filed back into the mess hall and Chris stood in front of everyone with two hats, "Campers, I have seven names in these hats. Frosty Ferrets, you pick the names in my left hand, Burning Birds, you pick the right. Once you pick a name, you cannot trade. Got it?"

Each camper picked a name from the hat and Fred raised his eyebrow, "PUMBAA?! WHO THE HECK IS PUMBAA? HE BETTER NOT BE A SISSY!"

"You walked out cause you felt the movie was too gay, Fred. Oh well, your loss." Chris said, "Because the second part of this challenge is...ACTING! Each of you will act out various scenes from the Lion King as the character you drew from the hat. Each individual camper will be scored on acting performance and costume. The team with the most points wins invincibility. You all have 5 hours total to make costumes and rehearse your lines. Here are your scripts, scripts are your friend, memorize them and by you, I'm talking about hipster girl and macho man especially. When your time is up, meet me at the amphitheater and put on the show. Got it?"

MARY (CC): YES! I can't believe I got lucky and got Timon! Ever since I was a little girl, I had a bit of a crush on Timon cause he always reminded me so much of myself. All the other girls bragged about how they were Nala, but you know what? Gender doesn't matter cause I was BORN for the role of Timon! I'm a wisecracking smartass at heart, not some main heroine princess.

BILLY (CC): Gee whiz, that movie sure was swell. I had no idea color TV even existed. Anyway, I have the role of Simba. I think this will be a real keen challenge!

LUNA (CC): Zazu is so boring, I wish I was one of the hyenas instead. Oh well, maybe I could spice up the role a bit with some evil laughter. Mweeheeheeheehee!

OLGA (CC): Olga got Nala! Olga got Nala!

ETHER (CC): I drew the role of Scar. I'm happy with this since I can vent my true colors without raising any suspicion.

And with that, the campers filed out of the mess hall and started grtting prepared in their cabins.

To be continued...anyway here's a list of who will be playing who:

FROSTY FERRETS:
Simba - Billy
Nala - Chelsea
Mufasa - Clark
Scar - Ether
Timon - Mary
Pumbaa - Fred
Zazu - Tanner

BURNING BIRDS:
Simba - Philip
Nala - Olga
Mufasa - Yumi
Scar - Theo
Timon - Adam
Pumbaa - Janessa
Zazu - Luna