.::I do not own The Outsiders::.
"It doesn't hurt me.
You wanna feel how it feels?
You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?
You be running up that hill
You and me be running up that hill
And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh..."
He was sitting down his arms resting on his knees. A drop of sweat slid from his forehead down to his nose. Tears trailed behind. His breath felt heavy as he began to rub his neck remembering what had happened.
His little brother limp in his arms not waking up to the words that came out of his mouth as he pleaded, "Wake up baby, please wake up." Still the kid didn't make some sort of move. Darry was right beside him carefully lifting him up in his arms into his truck to take him to the nearest hospital. The cop had walked up the stairs his gun still in his hands pointing towards the attacker in case he wanted more action. But he didn't move either, as much as Sodapop wanted to get up there to and strangle the guy he had to leave along with his brother and friends quickly. Dally slapped Pony on the face a little trying to wake him up, "C'mon pipsquick, ya gotta say somethin!"
Darry said from his seat a little too rough, "Get him to wake up! It's not good if he falls asleep if he has a serious injury! Pony!"
Steve pinched his leg, "Kid!"
Sodapop shook him, "Baby, at least open your eyes!"
Pony's eyelids fluttered his green eyes visible but only barely, his lip started quivering. Only a small whimper was heard, it was enough for all of them. This was going on until they arrived at the hospital.
It's been some hours that he and the rest were waiting for any information on his little brother. A while ago he snapped at a nurse who said they had to wait for information. Steve held him back hearing the nurse say that if he didn't control himself she'd have to call security.
Darry on the other hand stayed calm, he had to. Everyone was dreading for any clue of how his small brother was doing. He was with the gang in a small waiting room sitting on a chair his head resting on his hand praying that Pony would end up fine, he prayed to the Big Guy up in the sky and his parents. Please Mama, Dad, don't take Pony from us, he's all we got left. We've been through so much I-I don't think ... Soda and I could take this...But...But if Pony is really in so much pain, He clenched his hands so hard the whiteness of his knuckles showed, Let him be then...It was too much even for him to think about the possibility of Pony not making it. Something burned inside his chest it began to hurt so he covered his face with one hand.
A few seats away Steve, Dally, Twobit and Johnny were exchanging information. Twobit told how the police had arrived saying they already knew Pony would be the target. They all cussed them out obviously angry. Steve along with Dally explained why Pony was in the hospital, how he had fallen down the stairs and how they didn't know what happened to the guy with the mask. If he had survived the gunshot to the chest.
"I swear to God if he survives I'll beat the living shit outta him myself." Twobit growled not believing a man could hurt a child in such a horrible way. He already had a sister named Karen but he adopted Pony as his own little brother too. He loved watching Mickey Mouse with him every morning. He loved him as much as Soda or Darry.
Dally laid back on his chair, "Count me in." Deep deep inside he was hurting bad himself, the pipsquick had really grown on him. He loved that boy so much he really would kill the masked man and head off to hide just for him. Maybe he wasn't a person to show much emotion or anything at all but he'd demonstrate them by actions small or big. I'd give a kidney if he'd need it.
Steve nodded, "Me too." So he thought of Pony as a tag a long, sure, though now after some time Pony was on his top five priority list. After that car drive from the day care he realized how special the child was. So innocent, so different. In a good way. And he also knew that if Pony was to die soon, not only did he loose Pony he'd lose Sodapop. His best friend. Everything would be fucked up.
Johnny sighed, "I just want Pony ok. He don't deserve this," He glanced at Darry and Soda who were trying to keep tough, "They don't deserve this." He thought of so many bad things already happening to the Curtis family, the loss of their parents, the custody of Ponyboy and now this? Can't they ever catch a break? I'd rather my Pop beat me a thousand times if this could get better. If Pony could be better.
Finally, a doctor in about his thirties cleared his throat making his presence known. Everybody stood up for the anxious news. Darry with Soda were already in front of the Doctor. He looked at everybody warily, "I believe Ponyboy Curtis was in a foster home meaning you are not his legal guardian."
Darry frowned, "We are his brothers, I'm Darrel Curtis and this is Sodapop. On the foster home problem I-"
The Doc nodded, "It's all right, I understand. I have to speak to you alone though. Would you mind coming into my office?"
Sodapop joined, "I'm coming too."
The rest sat back down knowing they had to wait more. The three walked down a long hallway to the right entering a small room. There was a desk, many diplomas hanging on the wall and two seats just the right amount for the brothers to sit down on. The Doctor cleared his throat again wanting to speak clearly. Sodapop searched for any hint the Doc gave to see if it was good news or bad ones. Darry stayed still wanting to get this over with.
"I shouldn't even be telling you any information since you don't have the custody anymore but I'm willing to ignore that part since you are family anyways. Let's get down to the point all right? Ponyboy Michael Curtis, 5 stitches on his left arm after a deep cut, broken leg, sprained hand. Those will heal in 2 to 3 months."
The brothers were about to release a sigh of relief until the Doc had more to say, "Now with the serious injuries, unfortunately it seemed that he fell head first down the stairs. That is very dangerous, especially a person so small and young. He suffered a concussion, such a serious head injury can cause brain swelling. This leads to death. Boys, I'm not going to lie to you...he's in critical condition."
Soda caught his breath while Darry stood still already feeling a little dead inside, his voice a little raspy when he asked, "Can we do anything to help?"
"We'll keep him hospitalized tonight to see if he'll survive, we'll have to wake him up every 2 hours if he responds fine."
"Can we see him?" Soda asked sounding like a small child.
"Not right now, I'll inform a nurse to let you know when. Maybe in some hours."
Walking back to their friends seemed like a dream to Sodapop, his head remembering over and over again the conversation they just had. Those words that were mentioned, Critical condition...If he survives...Filled up his mind, the thought of losing Pony was unbearable. Already he felt like dying. I can't lose him God, I just can't! Why us?! Why? What the fuck did we do to deserve all of this?! Darry placed his hand on his brother;s shoulder wanting to let him know they were in this together. Already in the waiting room there were 2 police officers with something in their hands, their friends were talking about the whole situation. Suddenly the lady everyone hated especially Soda, showed up with an angry face. Mrs. Jones.
"Excuse me gentlemen but you should direct everything to me since I am in charge of the victim." She said rudely.
Soda exploded not having any more patience, it was lie she was the needle a full blown balloon (Which was him). Darry was too late on stopping Sodapop, his brother pointed a finger at her face not caring if the police were there.
"You better shut your damned mouth lady! This was all your fault! We have as much right as you to know what happened! If you hadn't taken away Ponyboy! Yes, Ponyboy! None of this would have happened! He was taken care of real good in our home but no! You had to take him away! And now look what happened! My little brother could die!"
Mrs. Jones stood still stunned at his harsh words while everyone stared at her, even some nurses stopped on their tracks shocked at the words he had yelled. The cops understood very well about his outburst so they simply watched. Darry also roughed up with everything gave her a glare, "I suggest you leave now Mrs. Jones."
Her mouth opened looking like a fish out of water not knowing what to say, in the end the lady left not wanting to cause more problems. But she would come back to deal with it later. Steve led Soda to a chair for him to sit on. Dally licked his lips, "Darry you better talk to them cops, they have some rather interesting stuff to say."
"I'm officer Nick, this is officer Sam. We identified the masked man, do you know any person by the name of Bob Sheldon?"
Darry thought for a moment really hard searching through his head, "No."
"Well he was the famous Tulsa killer. The gunshot to his chest was fatal, he died a couple hours ago. We found this some sort of diary in his house describing everything he had in mind. We wanted to give you this copy for you to read, it says many names so we thought you could ... Make sense of this. We'll be back tomorrow." They left handing the small diary to Darry.
Soda was taken aback, Dead? He died? No...No way! Damn it! Damn it damn it damn it! He didn't want him to die, he wanted to hurt him so badly. Dying wasn't much of a punishment. If anything it was too easy, he deserved something much worse. Darry sighed heavily plopping himself on a seat, the diary in his hand burning in his hand, his skin burned. It felt like acid.
Twobit asked, "How's the kid?"
Darry began, "The Doctor said he suffered a serious head injury."
Dally puffed, "Meaning?"
Soda being blunt in the moment answered, "He could die tonight."
Johnny gulped staring up at the ceiling, Twobit let out a weird noise coming from the back of his throat almost sounding like a whimper. Steve took a deep breath shaking his head, Kid...Kid...Oh God... Dally jumped from his chair getting out of the waiting room wanting to deal with this his own way.
"I wanna read it Darry."
His brother gave him a worried look, "I don't think it's such a good idea."
"God damn it Darry! Just!...Just let me read it..."
Darry pursed his lips deciding, "Will you be ok with this?"
"Yes."
The diary was now in Soda's hands. He wanted to read this alone, why this guy wanted to hurt his little brother. Why Ponyboy was the victim. Why he decided to do all these horrible things. In this notebook all the answers were in his hands. He got up heading to the cafeteria, nobody would be around since it was very late at night. Steve followed.
"Don't take this the wrong way Steve, I just want to be alone. Savyy?"
Steve hesitated, "Ok buddy."
In the cafeteria he placed himself on the farthest corner possible to be alone. A pretty nurse offered him a cup of coffee to which he accepted since sleep wanted to take over. At last, his hands opened the diary. It was a black notebook looking worn out, the first page was blank. The second one had some sloppy writing but readable.
Day XXX
The accident. Yesterday the police told my Dad and I that my Ma and brother were in a car accident. My Mom...She survived. I still don't know anything about James. Somethings wrong though. Somethings wrong.
Day XXX
He's dead...Dead..Dead...Dead...Dead...Dead...Dead... Dead...Dead...Dead...Dead...Dead...Dead...Dead...Dead... Dead...Dead...Dead...Dead...
Day XXX
My Mom, she's paralyzed from the waist down. Never will she walk again. Never! And James...He's dead. This is bullshit. BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!
The whole page was covered with the word BS.
Day XXX
I haven't written lately, Dad works all day. I know he doesn't want to come home. I know. I wouldn't either. Mom's not the same. She doesn't talk no more. She just stays in Jame's room staring out his window. She won't even look at me! I'm her son too!
Day XXX
We may be rich but money doesn't make you happy. Things aren't the same. Months passed, same shit different day. School is ok but things still suck. I got a job in a bar. Some friend's of Dad's, Valence guy. Whatever. Mom still won't talk, I don't care anymore. But I love her.
Day XXX
I saw the newspaper, they talk about the accident. Turns out the small kid on the other car survived! Can you believe that bullshit? Survived! He shoulda died! He's a grease kid for the love of God! God...There isn't a God. James died and that little shit didn't. No. there is no God...
Sodapop gritted his teeth, Fucking son of bitch! You have no idea how Goddamn lucky you are to have died!
Day XXX
This anger is starting to kill me. I can't take it, these thoughts. That boy! My brother! He was only 5! He shoulda survived! This can't go on like this! Something has to happen. Something! Look at my family now! Mom will die soon I know it! My Dad has a bitch he's screwing around with! He thinks I'm stupid but I know. I have to do something. Something. I just need time...
Day XXX
Ponyboy. What a strange name. His parents were fucked up I bet. He has a brother named Sodapop and another brother but I don't know his name...Johnny is a friend. I'm so glad the Valence kid has this stupid crush on me. Gives me all the things I need to know. Stupid girl.
Day XXX
Cherry told me Pony's brother works in this gas station. I'll take a ride around.
Day XXX
Sodapop, another stupid name. Saw him some days ago with this blonde girl. I have an idea...
Day XXX
Too easy, she saw the money and gifts I gave her and bam! In my bed. Ha! Grease girls are too easy. I hope when Sodacan or whatever his name is, knows about me screwing with his girl, he shits himself. This is the beginning anyway.
Sodapop felt the blood on his face drain. His hand grasping the cup clenched up crushing the plastic cup spilling the coffee. He couldn't believe it. The one girl he loved so much, the one he tried giving everything to, the one he lost his innocence with had some relationship with the man who tried to kill his little brother. Sandy...Sandy?! She...Holy-No...No this can't be happening...No...NO! Damn her! Damn this guy! Damn them! He stopped his aggressive thinking when he remembered her saying she was pregnant. Oh God...Oh shit...
Day XXX
I left this Sandy girl today. She said she was pregnant with my baby. Bullshit if you ask me. Knowing what kind of girl she really is she expected me to believe it was mine. I got what I wanted, she was useful anyway with the names of everyone in that grease trash of a family. Sodapop, Darrel, Twobit, Steve, Johnny and Dally. As I said before, too easy...
Day XXX
I woke up from a nightmare. I have to do this soon. Very soon, I can't stand this fire burning up inside. They have to suffer what I did. More if it's possible. It's not fair. Not fair for James, they have to know how this...this pain feels. Soon...Soon...They'll be in my place...They'll know...
The greaser closed the diary shut and threw it against a wall nearby, he also flipped the small table over furious of what he had read. The revelations. The truth. Everything. It was too much for him to take. All of the trouble that was already caused was so much more than Bob suffered. Soda felt so many feelings in that moment, betrayal, sadness, anger, fury, misery, etc. He also felt terrified, terrified of this person's mentality. Bob wasn't right in the head, he needed someone. He needed help. He was alone. A nurse tried calming him but got shouted at instead, "Just leave me alone! Leave me alone!"
"Soda calm down! Shut up will ya!" It was Steve. He heard the shouting from the bathroom close by after taking a leak he heard his friend's angry voice.
"Don't you tell me to calm down Steve! You have no idea what's going on!"
"Shhh, shut up! You'll get thrown out!" He hissed taking him by the arm.
"Soda, Steve."
Both turned to Darry, he had a bleak look on his face, this was not a good sign. Steve let go of Soda's arm instantly having a bad feeling in the bottom of his stomach.
"What is it Dar?" Soda asked his voice calmed down.
"It's Ponyboy. We need to see him now. He...he really might be dying."
With those words spoken all of them hurried off to Pony's room.
(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)
=PS: Bare with me for the hospital explaining. And for the XXX on the diary part, I don't have a specific date so that's why I put it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's almost done. I have planned out an alternative ending. Thank you for keeping up!=