I'm back, after one week! By the way, that's how often I'll try to update this - every Sunday.
"How do we even read this thing?"
The four men of the Strawhat pirates were clustered around a flat map of the globe in Nami's room (Sanji had allowed everyone to enter due to the emergency situation).
"I mean," Zoro continued, "we don't even know where the hell we are. How are we supposed to find where to go next?"
"We can narrow down where we are," Sanji pointed out. "First off, we're obviously not on the Red Line or the Grand Line; we're not in the North Blue, South Blue, or West Blue—"
"We know we're in the East Blue," Luffy complained.
"Okay, fine," Sanji snapped. "I was going to say that we know we're in the area of Loguetown, the Calm Belt, and the Grand Line entrance. So . . ." he circled an area with his finger. "We're somewhere in this place."
"Great, we narrowed it down to less than a quarter of this world," Usopp muttered. "We're making such progress here."
"Will you shut up?" Sanji said irritably. "We need to figure out what island my Nami-swan could possibly be being held at! I bet she's locked up in some dungeon . . . shackled to a wall . . . b-being . . . tortured . . ." he started crying again. "Nami-swan!"
"Okay, he's useless now," Zoro said. "Back to the map . . . we know about where we are, but we don't really know which direction we're going in . . . shit, this isn't good at all."
"We could tell by the sun," Usopp suggested.
"Oh, yeah!" Luffy said. "It sets in the east, right?"
"West," Usopp said. "It sets in the west."
"It does not," Luffy protested.
"Yes, it does! Look, here's an easy way to remember it. You know how yeast—"
"I thought the sun set in the south," Zoro said, confused.
"Excuse me?" Sanji said, rejoining the conversation at last. "The sun sets in the north, doesn't it?"
"I'm telling you, it sets in the west!" Usopp protested.
"East!" Luffy said decidedly. "I'm the captain, and I say that the sun sets in the east!"
"Luffy, you can't control the sun," Zoro pointed out. "Anyway, it sets in the south."
"It sets in the north, morons!" Sanji said angrily. "Where the hell did you get the idea that it sets in the west or south?"
"Have any of you actually paid any attention at all to the sun!?" Usopp said exasperatedly.
"Sure I have!" Luffy said. "It sets in the east!"
"North!"
"South!"
"It sets in the west, dammit!"
"Usopp," Sanji said, "you clearly have no idea what you're talking about. Perhaps you have amnesia about your childhood teachings?"
"I don't have amnesia about anything!" Usopp snapped. "I'm the great Captain Usopp! I don't get amnesia!"
"Well, you could hardly help it if you did get amnesia, isn't that right!?"
"I bet I could!"
"Bet you couldn't!"
"Bet I could!"
"Couldn't!"
"Could!"
"No, you damn couldn't!"
"I'll make you a bet!" Usopp declared. "I bet that I won't get amnesia within the next . . . three years!"
"200 beris sound good!?"
"Deal!"
They glared at each other for a moment more.
"We haven't had breakfast yet," Zoro pointed out. "I'm pretty damn hungry."
"Hey, so am I!" Luffy said, sounding surprised. "Sanji, give us breakfast!"
"Oh, fine," Sanji said. "But it's right down to business after that."
"See?" Usopp said, holding a compass and standing outside. "I told you it sets in the west."
"Fine, you were right," Zoro snapped. "So we're facing north."
"It's good to know, right?" Luffy asked. "We don't wanna accidentally go into the Grand Line the wrong way."
"That's not the point, but sure," Sanji said. "Let's head back to the map . . ."
After heading back downstairs and studying the map a while longer, they concluded that there was only one island where the kidnappers could have come and gone in one night: Kopenchagi Island.
"It's really close," Sanji said. "It shouldn't take too long to get there."
"So let's go!" Luffy said cheerfully. "We can row there!"
After much arguing and fighting, Luffy and Zoro took one row while Usopp and Sanji took the other. They began rowing towards their destination, Usopp checking the compass every two minutes to make sure that they were still on target.
Soon enough, they reached the port of an island. After dropping the anchor, they rolled up the sail, jumped onto the dock, and looked around.
"Hey, sir," Zoro said, stopping someone who looked like a guard, "mind telling us where we are?"
"Did you just dock your ship there?" the guard asked, ignoring his question.
"Uh, yeah. So where—"
"You realize," he (the guard) said, "that docking at that particular port is strictly forbidden except for cargo ships. Is that a cargo ship?"
"No, but—"
"I'm going to have to fine you 1000 beris, then," the guard said, taking out a pad of paper. "Each. So . . . let's see . . . 4000 beris total."
"We'd like to pay, sir, but we don't have any money!" Usopp said, the first part being a lie and the second part being the truth.
"I guess I have to just arrest you then, huh?" the guard sneered. Before anyone knew what was happening, they were surrounded by other guards and handcuffed.
"You can either go straight to jail," the first guard said as he led the captive pirates down the street, "or you can plead your case to the princess—who, as it happens, has just returned after many years."
"A princess?" Sanji asked hopefully.
"We'll go to the princess," Luffy said. "I bet she'll let us go. If she doesn't, I'll just beat you guys up."
"This is actually good," Usopp whispered to the others. "If we can talk to this princess, we can ask for her help in finding Nami."
"Excellent!" Sanji whispered happily. "Oh my Nami-swan, you will be freed from your prison soon!"
The tied up Strawhats and the guards reached the palace soon, which was in the center of the city. The first guard knocked on the door and a female voice inside said "Come in!"
The huge double doors swung open, pulled by guards on the other side.
"Bow your heads," hissed one of the guards with the Strawhats. "Be respectful to the princess!"
The four obediently bowed their heads, playing along in hopes that it would help their case. Usopp had to force Luffy's head down and Sanji was muttering a string of curses under his breath.
They were led to the foot of a dais, where they were told to kneel in respect. The guards stepped back and all was silent.
Finally, the same female voice said "You may lift your heads."
The four Strawhat men looked up towards the princess. Usopp gasped dramatically, Luffy grinned widely, Sanji cried out with joy, and Zoro smirked in a pleased way.
The princess was wearing a lovely pale blue dress that flowed down to her ankles and hung off her wrists. Encircling her short orange hair was a thin silver diadem. Her face, decorated with makeup, was heart-shaped, and her eyes were a lovely shade of brown.
"Nami-swan!" Sanji exclaimed. "Oh my darling, how I have longed to see your beauty again!"
"What're you doing here, Nami?" Luffy asked happily. "We were worried!"
"Let's go back to the ship already," Zoro said. "C'mon."
"Nami?" Usopp asked.
"Silence!" said the princess suddenly and commandingly. She rose from her seat and spoke in whispers with a tall man on her right. After this whispered conversation, she turned back to the Strawhats and declared "Take them to the dungeons!"
"What!?" Luffy yelled. "Nami, it's us!"
"What the hell!?" Zoro yelled.
They were gagged by guards and dragged roughly down to the dungeons, where they were thrown into a jail cell and their gags were removed.
"You can stay down here," said the guard roughly, "until the princess decides what to do with you."
And he left the room without another word.
"Oh, come on!" Usopp complained. "Why did Nami do that?"
"Maybe she has amnesia," Zoro said.
Luffy shrugged. "I don't think she does."
"Why not?"
"Because."
"Because what?"
"Just because."
They sat in silence for around ten minutes. Just as Usopp opened his mouth, they heard a door open and footsteps approaching. The princess and the tall man appeared outside their cell. The door was open and the princess stepped in with the tall man.
"Leave us," she said to the tall man. "I will make sure that they won't hurt me. Return to your post."
The tall man bowed and left, closing the cell door behind him. The princess waited until she heard the door shut behind him before quietly sitting down on a bench.
She looked up at the four Strawhats and a smile spread across her face. "Guys," she said happily, "I'm so glad you're here!"