"Nami, it is you!" Luffy yelled.
"Nami-swan!" Sanji exclaimed.
"To be honest, I'm surprised," Nami said, brushing back a lock of hair. "I didn't think you all would make it here so soon!"
"Well, it was a long and difficult journey," Usopp said, "but with the help of the great Captain Usopp, we managed to find you. I remember the Sea Kings—"
"What're you doing here?" Luffy interrupted. "Why do these guys think you're a princess?"
"You have a lot of explaining to do," Zoro muttered.
"I know, I know," Nami sighed. "It's a long story. You know, if we had a lookout or something, this probably wouldn't have happened."
"That part is Usopp's fault," Sanji said. ("Hey!") "Carry on, Nami-swan! How did you come to be in this position?"
"Well . . ."
The tall man and the short man reached the ship at last in their tiny rowboat. The tall man brought forth rope from underneath his cloak, tied a lasso, and threw it up the side of the ship, successfully hooking the end of the railing.
He and the short man climbed the rope and quietly set foot on the deck. The short man pointed to a door just ahead of them around the main mast. The tall man nodded and both strode towards it. The short man opened the door very quietly and closed it after the tall man stepped in.
They looked around. By the dim light coming from the door cracks, they could see that the room was some kind of storage area. The tall man hit the short man on the head. The short man rubbed his head and indignantly pointed towards a trapdoor on the floor. The tall man nodded and quietly opened it up. The short man descended first and the tall man came soon after, leaving the trapdoor open for an easy exit.
The tall man pointed towards the bed questioningly. The short man nodded. The tall man swiftly approached the bed and scooped up Nami, who had been lying on it. He carried her bridal-style up the stairs and through the trapdoor, the short man close behind.
As he passed through the trapdoor, the tall man accidentally bumped Nami's legs on the edge. She stirred awake and looked around.
"Hey!" she exclaimed. "What the hell is going on!?"
"Forgive us, my lady," whispered the short man, taking out a small bottle and a handkerchief. He doused the handkerchief in the liquid from the bottle and pressed it to Nami's nose. She struggled, but couldn't help breathing in the fumes; her eyes closed and she went limp. The short man stowed the bottle and cloth back inside his cloak.
The short man carefully descended the rope; the tall man lowered the sleeping Nami and the short man positioned her within the rowboat in the most comfortable position possible. The tall man slid down the rope, unhooked it from the railing, seized the oars, and began rowing.
Once they were a good distance away from the ship, the short man spoke. "That was much easier than expected, don't you think?"
"Mm," muttered the tall man. "I hope the princess is okay. It didn't seem like she was being tortured, at any rate . . ."
"If we find out that those men were harming her," the short man said, "we can always find them again and have them killed."
"Yes, that's true," the tall man said. "Do me a favor and shut up now; your voice is annoying when I'm trying to row."
The short man stared at him. Then he opened his mouth and began singing at the top of his lungs. "GATHER UP ALL OF THE CREW~, TIME TO SHIP OUT B—"
"HEY!" the tall man yelled. "Shut up, you idiot, you'll wake the princess!"
The short man sighed. "And you say my voice is annoying."
"You've got something on your nose," the tall man said.
"What—really?"
"Yeah, right there."
"I got it," the short man muttered, taking out his handkerchief. He rubbed his nose with it and managed to say "Oh, damn," before falling unconscious.
"Huh, it worked," the tall man muttered, grinning. "Idiot."
When Nami finally opened her eyes, the sunlight could barely be seen over the horizon. She shrieked when she realized that the tall man and the short man were standing over her, staring.
"Oh, good," the short man said. "You're awake!"
"What—" she said, looking around. She was lying on a small, old bed, which was in a fairly small and dimly lit room. An identical bed was on the opposite side.
"What the hell is going on!?" she yelled angrily, glaring at the two. "Did you two kidnap me!? Oh, when Luffy gets here, he's gonna kick your—"
"Please, your highness, calm down!" the tall man beseeched. "We have liberated you from your captors and brought you home!"
"Captors?" she said, confused. "Your highness? What the hell are you talking about?"
"My lady," the short man said, "allow me to refresh your memory. When you were merely nine years old, you were playing with your friends in the street (as allowed by the king and queen) when a group of brutish thugs kidnapped you and took you away from the island!"
"You must have gotten me confused with someone else," Nami said exasperatedly. "I haven't been kidnapped by anybody except you two, and I am certainly not a princess!"
"Oh, my lady," said the tall man concernedly, "I believe that you must have amnesia!"
The short man brought out a photograph. "Does this seem familiar?"
Nami grabbed the picture and studied it. It showed a young girl of perhaps six or seven years, wearing a pink dress and smiling happily into the camera. Her hair hung down to her shoulders and was almost the exact shade that Nami's was.
"Sure, she looks like me," Nami snapped, throwing the photograph back, "but that proves nothing! Lots of people look alike!"
"Princess Erika, please cooperate!" the tall man pleaded. "I know those ten years must have been hard for you, but your troubles are over!"
"My name is Nami!" she yelled.
"Please, your highness, you must come to see the king and queen," the tall man said, offering her his hand. "They have fallen very ill and are desperate to see their daughter again."
Nami hesitated.
"Oh, fine," she snapped finally. She slapped his hand away and got up herself. "Where the hell is this, anyway?"
"We're in the palace, of course," the short man said. "This is mine and his room."
They opened the door and allowed Nami to step through first. The hallway outside was rather stunning, draped in red and gold tapestries and with several lit torches lining the walls.
"The king and queen are down this way," the tall man said, taking the lead with the short man next to him. "They are resting at the moment. Say, princess, do you remember us at all?"
Nami growled.
"Very well," the tall man said quickly. "My name is John."
"And I am Larry," said the short man.
"Nice to meet you, and all that," Nami said. "My name is Nami."
John and Larry looked at each other and sighed.
The three eventually reached large and ornate double doors. Larry raised a fist and knocked three times. A weak voice inside said "Come in."
They entered to a large and heavily decorated room. Against the far wall was a huge bed upon which rested two people—a middle-aged man and woman.
John, Larry, and Nami approached the bed. John and Larry knelt respectfully by the side.
"Your majesties," John said. "King Hiram and Queen Pamela, we have wonderful news."
"We have found the princess," Larry continued. "Your daughter has been found! Princess Erika, please step forward!"
Nami sighed and moved closer. The king and queen looked at her.
"Um . . . hi," she muttered.
"Is it really you?" Queen Pamela whispered. "Oh, my sweet baby girl . . ."
"You've come home," King Hiram said softly, staring at her. "You're back."
Nami hesitated, and then smiled. "That's right, I'm back. I'm sorry I was away for so long."
The queen started crying. "Oh, Erika . . ."
"Your majesties, if you please," Larry said, "we shall instruct the princess in proper monarch rule for the time being. She shall take power until you are fit to rule once more."
"Please," the king said, nodding slightly with a faint smile. John and Larry nodded and stood.
"Come now, Princess Erika," John said. "We must begin."
The three left the room, leaving the monarchs to rest.
"I promise that this will not take long," Larry promised Nami as they walked down the hallway. "We simply need to give you the run-down with being the ruler of a kingdom, and of course—" he looked her up and down. "—Give you some . . . finer things to wear."
"Okay, stop right there," Nami said, halting her movement. "First off, my clothes are fine; they're some of the latest stuff from Loguetown, for your information. Second, I am not this Princess Erika you're talking about."
Larry and John looked at each other. "My lady . . . you're absolutely sure?" John said sadly.
Nami nodded. "However . . ."
"However?" Larry asked eagerly.
"However, you guys seem to be in a bit of a crisis here, with no monarchy to rule the kingdom. Is that right?"
They nodded.
"Now, those guys that were with me on the ship?" Nami said. "Knowing them, they'll get here eventually. So the deal is this: I'll take this position as Princess Erika until they show up. When they do, I'm taking off with them and leaving the crown behind. Also, you have to pay me 1,000,000 beris."
"Of course, of course!" exclaimed John happily. "Oh, my princess, thank you!"
"Do not call me princess," Nami snapped. "Now, you were saying something about finer things to wear?"
". . . so they gave me a quick tutorial in being a princess, forced me to wear this stupid dress and tiara and makeup, and here we are," Nami finished.
"Nami-swan, you look absolutely stunning in that dress!" Sanji cried, his visible eye becoming a heart.
"It's not my style or color," Nami complained.
"Well, I've got a question," Zoro said. "Why the hell did you throw us down here?"
"So that we could talk privately," Nami said. "It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. Plus, this way you guys can't destroy anything big."
"What makes you think we'd destroy something?" Luffy asked, frowning.
". . . I'm just going to ignore that one," Nami muttered. "Look, here's the thing, guys . . . those two, Larry and John? I don't trust them. I'm not sure that they'd let me go with you even though you're here now, and I'll probably end up just stealing the money from them."
"You're cold!" Usopp exclaimed.
"So I have a favor to ask all of you," Nami continued. "I need you guys to go out and find the real princess!"