I suck so much I'm really sorry

"What a strange dream . . ." Sanji mumbled, sitting up while still half-asleep. "A blue-haired beauty and a talking reindeer . . ." he shook his head, waking himself up, and looked around. His crewmates were still sleeping; it seemed to be early morning. He climbed out of his hammock and went up the ladder, popping out onto the deck and heading for the kitchen to start breakfast.

Not long after he had put the bacon in the pan, Luffy wandered in through the door. His eyes were barely open and he shuffled his feet. He made a beeline for the stove and rested his head on Sanji's shoulder.

"Sanji . . . food . . ." he mumbled, a thin string of drool trickling from the corner of his mouth.

"What—you're not even awake, are you!?" Sanji exclaimed. "Go sit at the table and wait. It's not ready yet."

"'Kay . . ." Luffy shuffled away and plopped into a chair, letting his head fall to the table. By the time Sanji had finished cooking, Luffy was fully awake and ready to eat.

"Is it ready now?" He asked eagerly. "Is it? I'm hungry!"

"Yeah, just a sec," Sanji said. He stuck his head out the door and yelled for Zoro and Usopp, after which he distributed the food out onto plates.

"Ah, that smells so good," Usopp sighed as he came through the door. "I'm hungry . . ."

Zoro came in soon after him, yawning and rumpling his hair.

After everyone had had their fill and Sanji had cleared away the dishes, the cook came to sit with the rest at the table.

"Okay, Usopp," he said. "Let's see that paper."

Usopp fished the piece from his pocket and laid it on the table. Everyone leaned in and examined the picture of the young woman with shoulder-length orange hair. It was clearly uncared for, as it hung limply and seemed greasy; her lightly tanned skin was a bit grimy as well. However, despite her unkempt appearance, Erika's eyes were bright as she looked at the camera.

"What a beautiful young lady," Sanji sighed.

Luffy squinted at the paper. "I can't read it."

"You're looking at it upside-down, you realize that, right?" Usopp said. "Anyway, it says that she was . . . sold by Daniel and bought by Kevin."

"That page from earlier said that she was bought by Rico or someone, right?" Zoro said. "It sounds like she got passed around a lot."

"Don't say it like that," Sanji snapped. "She's not property."

"I didn't mean it like that," Zoro protested. "I just meant that—well, you know what I mean! She's been bought and sold a bunch!"

"She's not property!" Sanji yelled.

"I'm just guessing what happened!" Zoro yelled back. "How would you say it!?"

"I don't know, but it'd sure as hell be nicer than what you're saying, moss-head!"

"Wha—Who the hell are you calling moss-head!? Do you want me to cut you!?"

"Bring it on, Neanderthal!"

The two began trading clashes and blows.

"G-Guys, calm down!" Usopp whimpered. "You'll hurt the ship!"

Luffy laughed. "Okay, so . . . we're going to Opale Island, and we're looking for the princess from a guy named Daniel."

"Yeah, that sounds right—no, wait, the guy's name is Kevin."

"Oh, okay."

Zoro and Sanji quit their battle and went back to the table, glowering at each other.

"Anyway, Luffy, you're right," Usopp said cheerfully. "We just need to go to Opale Island and find that asshole, and then we'll get the princess and bring her home!"

"Sounds like a plan," Zoro and Sanji said together. They glared at each other.

"Okay!" Luffy exclaimed. "Let's go!"

. . .

"Where's Opale Island?" Zoro asked.

Sanji sighed. "Great, now we're lost. Why didn't we ask at the last island?"

"I'll get the map," Usopp muttered, leaving the kitchen. He returned a minute later with the East Blue map and spread it out on the table.

They searched the area for a good five minutes before Sanji found the island. It was due east from where they were currently anchored.

"Shall we, captain?" Sanji said.

Luffy nodded. Sanji and Usopp ran outside to unfurl the sails while Zoro went to hoist the anchor.

"Set sail!" Luffy exclaimed. "To Opale Island! To the princess!"

"Aye-aye, captain!"