AN: So sorry it has been so long. Work, life, kids, you name the excuse I have it. I was finally able to steal away and complete another chapter. I also revised a bit of Ch 4 and touched up the other chapters a bit.
Chapter 5 Wherefore art thou
"Poppy, do you remember the night, just before Hogwarts closed, at the end of my sixth year; I told you I was worried for Professor Snape and you told me that I needn't worry about him and the he could take care of himself and likes it that way." The memory made a small smile break across her face. It quickly faded.
"I was concerned for Professor Snape because it was I who sent him to his death. I had signed his death certificate when I told Professor Dumbledore my suspensions of the necessary sequence of events to succeed at defeating Voldemort." For what seemed like the umpteenth time, Hermione rubbed her palms over and into her eyes. " I stood by as he disarmed and killed Albus Dumbledore knowing it would result in his own death by Voldemort. The irony is endless! Professor Snape proved his loyalty to Voldemort by killing Dumbledore only to be murdered by Voldemort for the very same act." She sighed heavily then continued her story.
"I felt a deep empathy for Professor Snape. I knew that he had begrudgingly agreed to be Professor Dumbledore's executioner. I secretly hoped that he would refuse. I could not help but to think how terrifying it must have been for Professor Snape to kill the only person that knew his true motivations. While I traveled with Harry in search of Horcruxes I had plenty of time to think over what I learned from the possibility theories, reflect on the many things Dumbledore had told me and reanalyze that which I had observed of Professor Snape first hand." Hermione's eyes blazed with passion. "Then I saw those memories Poppy." She stated with reverence. "His love, his despair and his desolation. It was inhumane." The last statement came out in a whisper. Hermione straightened and a look of resolution stiffened her posture and facial features.
Madam Pomfrey was a little taken aback by the intensity in Hermione's eyes. Her blazing heart demanded to see an injustice brought to amendment. Poppy smiled inwardly. Mmm hmm, there it is. She thought to herself and sat quietly, attentively listening to Hermione's story.
"He was a young man left to his own devices and Professor Dumbledore took full use of his moment of need. I am not saying I disagree with Professor Dumbledore's actions entirely but he could have done things differently. While Professor Snape made decisions of his own accord, Professor Dumbledore allowed him to fester and suffer as a means of ensuring his spy. Professor Snape's bleak and damaged soul weighted his mind. His guilt became his atonement method. His pain and remorse filled him so completely that it sculpted his very thought process. To feel guilt was his punishment and it was rightfully so in his mind. His crime against Lily had brought the man to his knees and ended him where he stood. His body may have continued on but his heart died right there at Dumbledore's feet when he was unable to protect Lily Potter from the very prophecy he himself had offered to the Dark Lord." Hermione was near tears but she was resolved to speak her truth. A few deep breaths righted her breathing and helped clear her mind.
"A single moment eighteen years ago should not define a person. A brilliant mind should not be arrested and confined to a single task." Hermione paused and breathed in thru her nose deeply. "To have given all and be awarded only the embrace of death was too much for me to comprehend. " Hermione stood with the resolution of a woman with a conviction that would not be moved. "With all he has sacrificed, including his own soul, he has atoned. He was due redemption."
Attempting to lighten the buzz of energy in the office air Poppy quipped, "Well, it seems redemption has found him." They had moved to the more private and comfortable accommodations of Madam Pomfrey's office and the air was now heavy with Hermione's residual magic. "As I said earlier, if there is anyone who deserves your sacrifice, it is he. I agree Severus received the raw end of every situation." Poppy shared a warm worn smile that tucked her cheeks around her eyes and reminded Hermione of her ever-smiling Grandmother. Hermione's heart panged with a quick thought of her parents.
"I am an old optimist Hermione. You look at the rational; I will keep my eye on the hopeful. Tell me what you learned about the Vora Eros spell." Truth be told the curiosity was killing her. Not to mention Severus felt different in her presence. She could not quite describe it.
Hermione deflated a little at the new direction of the conversation. The moment for acknowledgement of what she had done in full had come. She moved from beside the fireplace where she had been standing resolutely a moment before. "Would you care to continue this discussion in the atrium Poppy?" Hermione's thoughts were humming, organizing the facts of what she would say. She found herself preferring a more open space at the moment. The small office seemed a bit suffocating. Hermione felt the need to breath fresh air and walk around. The medical wing atrium would do nicely.
Poppy smiled and stood. "It is lovely this time of year." She followed Hermione out of the office and away from the over energized confines of her office.
Hermione walked reverently around the hip high stonewall creating a raised flowerbed with brilliant spear thistles growing in a rock garden. "The tomb I found in the Lestrange vault was an ancient text. It was written in Latin with ancient ruin directions for most of the spells. I am lucky I had my copy of Ancient Ruin Translation textbook with me from sixth year studies. The author and title of the text are unknown to me. The cover is rawhide with no inscription. When I read the authors preface of the spell, it stated a family member of either blood or bond could only speak the incantation. However in the instructions of the incantation, written in ancient ruin, it instructs the caster to firmly and clearly depict in ones mind their fealty in an imagery sequence…"
For a moment Hermione was not where she stood. As she recanted the particulars of casting the spell she recalled the feeling of an immense heat. Never had she experienced the level of magical power that coursed thru her body as when she cast the Vora-Eros. In reflection it was enthralling and terrifying at the same time. The magnanimous power surge was intoxicating. The remembrance of offering her life as a sacrifice was terrifying. With a shudder that began at her head and rolled down to the soles of her feet Hermione came back to awareness and ceased her laps around the flowerbed to sit at a stone bench near by.
"The instructions did not call for any form of proof or manifestation of the casters family connection. By the omission of the requirement to provide proof of heritage, I was led to believe the true ideal was only blood or bonded of another would sacrifice their life for another. In reality as long as the intent is sacrificial and completely selfless the spell could be cast by anyone." Hermione was smiling softly as she finished her explanation. She was rather proud of herself for being correct on this point. After all, she couldn't exactly test the theory beforehand.
Hermione continued on, "When I cast the spell Professor Snape was literally a breath away from death. This was necessary for the spell to work. Professor Snape needed to be at the cusp of death, when the soul starts to leave the body. At this moment the body and soul separate and the weakest and most damaged part of his soul was dislodged first. When the most damaged part of his soul separated from his body the spell severed the damaged part of his soul, allowing it to pass on to death. At this same moment a part of my soul was inserted into Professor Snape, binding his remaining soul back to his body and healing his fatal wounds.
Poppy devoured her every word. Oh no, Hermione may not have been in conventional love or kin to Severus but she cared just as deeply. Hermione had already filled her heart and mind with adoration and respect to the inth degree. She cared enough about the severity of injustice inflicted upon him to make it her ultimate crusade to see him redeemed. The girl has the heart of a child with the mind and power of a grown women. Blind and rightfully so. Poppy mentally chuckled to herself.
Hermione exhaled heavily and stared down at the dirt nestled in the crevices of the decorative path that winds thru the atrium. "There were several missives folded and inserted between the pages of how to prepare and execute the spell. One note was a list of what I believe to be a second hand account of what a recipient of the Vora Eros experiences. The effects consisted of complete to partial memory loss, loss of cognitive abilities, loss of fears and an indifference to traumatizing past events." Mindlessly Hermione picks up a scuffed stone from the ground and turns it over in her hands. She had not looked Poppy in the eye since she began this second part of the explanation. She was too afraid of what she might see. Poppy said she was ok with what Hermione had done but Poppy didn't know just how invasive her actions truly were until now.
"From what you have already told me of Professor Snape's actions after waking; he has retained his memories, previous personality, and the ability to function normally so complete memory loss and loss of the mental faculties can be ruled out. Hermione was wringing her hands and nervously wiping her palms on her jeans now. She was beyond nervous. She was flat out scared. She had half expected to die in her efforts but deep down knew that she would not. Something instilled in her the equivocal notion that she would survive and Professor Snape would be ok. It was an irrational and unfounded notion but it consumed her as if it were irrefutable fact. She could not explain it. She just knew. She also knew that her intent while casting the spell would have most likely triggered the latter of the aforementioned effects.
Taking a deep breath Hermione turned to Poppy, who had sat down next to her on the bench. "I am pretty sure Professor Snape will be indifferent to past events. To be frank, I cast the spell with that very intent." She was starting to feel fatigued. Rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hands she tried to squash the tiredness building behind them.
Poppy gasped at the implications of Hermione's words. Severus may now be apathetic toward the events of his life that had defined him. His actions regarding Lily Potter all those years ago lead to his lifetime of self inflicted privation. Poppy had been the Matron at Hogwarts for more years that she cared to count and with her position came absolute trust. She did not take the responsibility lightly. She kept more secrets of the on goings at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry than all the Professors combined. Except for the Headmaster, of course. He has the unfair advantage of the castle itself to provide insight. She had watched Severus as a boy be bullied by the Marauders. She observed as he fell in love with Lily Potter. She witnessed his dark nature and feverish thirsts for all knowledge develop as he grew into a young man. She saw the transition from coping, brooding, and overly sarcastic young man to the snarling Professor he is today. Most importantly she saw the abuse that was inflicted on his person as he fulfilled his role as Dumbledore's spy. Severus willingly subjects himself to unspeakable things all in the name of guilt. He had suffered for years and now he could be without the oppressive weight of self-loathing. He may very well not feel remorse for his part in the death of Lily Pottery. Poppy could scarcely imagine such a thing. Poppy thought to herself, Of all the blessings, this was truly the most unimaginable. She now understood Hermione's earlier trepidations were likely well founded. Not even she could say just how Severus was going to take this revelation. "Are you positive Hermione?" Poppy asked in a rushed whisper.
Hermione bobbed her head in reply and exhaled a breath she had not realized she was holding. Poppy was not angry with her but now the Matron understood why Hermione feared the inevitable visit from Professor Snape.
Severus' gait was long and swift. He moved with the agility of a snake stalking towards an unsuspecting prey. He had lost his temper in Minerva's presence. He had shattered all the cups in the tea alcove. The haphazard collection had always secretly annoyed him. It was too disorderly too eclectic for his careful eye. Severus smiled to himself as he recalled the look on Minerva's face. Shock mixed with a moment of indignation and a fleeting sliver of fear. He had felt the surge of his power as his mind wrapped itself around the facts he knew of the Vora Eros. Instead of letting the excess power effervesce and thrum to the point of being perceptible he opted to shatter each of the obnoxiously individual drinking vessels in a display of control and art. He had enjoyed his moment of temper. Now he was about to put a little Slytherin in his cauldron of un-quailed anger.
Gone were his days of being a subordinate and biting his tongue. He had lived a life with two to many masters... and died! He was no longer a man who would accept being a servant to anyone. Miss Granger had gone too far. He was furious. His anger seemed to pull at him from all directions. He was angry at himself for allowing a child to save his sorry arse. He was mutinous that he did not know how she did it and he was near panic-stricken at the thought of what she had done to her own soul. What weighed on his mind even more is the side effects of such magic. Yet another person he would be indebted to. He growled at the thought. He had not expected to live thru the final battle but now that he had the opportunity to reflect on his survival, he had rather hoped to be free of life debts and unbreakable vows. Not that he knew to what extent he and Miss Granger were now associated. Minerva knew less than himself about the intricacies of the Vora Eros. After giving Miss Grainger a proper dressing down he intended to cast a few diagnostic spells that would provide some idea of any physical or spiritual connections.
As he rounded the corner leading to the Medical Wing Severus slowed his pace to gather his thoughts. Preparing himself to be the imposing and intimidating Potions Master he pulled down his cuffs, swished his bat like cloak, squared his shoulders and shoved the doors to the ward open and marched in. His theatrics were wasted.
There was no one in the medical ward.
Standing roughly a quarter way into the room Severus stopped and huffed in annoyance. "Where could the two hens have gotten off to?" he inaudibly mumbled to himself.
Oh, he should have known Poppy would spirit Hermione away to a place they could be alone. Poppy's office, he mentally grumbled. His quiet and graceful steps found new purpose as he strode towards the heavy mahogany door to the right of the medical wing. As he reached the door, he could hear that it was silent behind the door. Perhaps a silencing charm, no matter, he thought to himself as he pushed the door open. There were not wards active. He just walked right in.
Hermione had been in this room. Severus' eyes may have been viewing an empty, slightly warm, and slightly stuffy room but his senses had taken a sonar picture of the rooms magical energy and shown Severus by way of expanding all magical signatures that the Gryffindor know-it-all was indeed in this room recently. Severus had not survived being a spy for 19 year without learning a few reconnaissance style charms. Her residual magic was heavy in the air. Wisps, like layers of smoke weighted the air near the fireplace and of course Poppy's signature was everywhere like a second skin over the room.
They were here but where did they go?