Chapter 12: "Do not be so stubborn"
It was well passed midnight before the exhausted group of outlaws sighted the welcome silhouette of Rufford Abbey.
"Finally!" Allan's relief was apparent as he shifted the weight he shared with Will on the makeshift litter. John groaned and cursed everything he could think of.
"You go on." Robin hung back as they drew nearer the abbey. "I will wait here."
"Aren't you coming?" Much asked. "Master, that wound needs looking after."
"It should be washed and bound with clean bandages." Djaq warned.
"It is all right. Go on." Robin watched as his friends disappeared through the gates of Rufford and forced from his brain the image of Marian as he had last seen her. He meant to light a fire, but weariness fell on him and he sank beside a great oak, quickly overcome by sleep.
The morning sky was heavily overcast, but the sun appeared just above the abbey's crenellations by the time Robin woke, his mind slowly registering the new day. A shadow crossed over him and suddenly Marian's face was before him. Robin thought he was dreaming; he had many such dreams during the last six months. No, he realized, this was not a dream.
Sitting up quickly he shoved Marian's message out of sight within his tunic. It would do his pride no good for her to know he meant to keep it with him, that in last night's pain he found comfort by holding something that had known the touch of her hand.
"Robin, you should have come last night." She told him, setting down a basket of food, fresh water, bandages and a soothing ointment to apply to his wounded arm.
So often he had envisioned her, but now that she was here, Robin could not think of what to say. "John…?"
"He will be fine, but he needs to rest here for a week or more."
"He's all right." The relief in his voice showed the depth of his concern for Little John.
"Yes." Marian reached for his injured arm and began to remove the soiled dressing.
"Don't," he withdrew from her. "I am fine, really."
Marian sat back and looked at him suspiciously, "Really?"
Seeing her in a novice's habit, so beautiful and distant, Robin ignored the question. Did she expect him to tell her how he ached to hold her? How every morning he wondered if this would be the day she would return to him?
Robin did not want her here; he did not want to see her and not be able to touch her – to have to speak of anything but what was really in his heart. Besides, he said it all before.
Marian feared his lapse signaled an impending fever, but as she reached once more toward him, he once more moved away.
"I do not need anything," he insisted stubbornly. "But…thank you. Thank you for the message. When we saw John we would have gone right in if not for your warning."
"I am glad." There was an awkward silence for a moment. "It is beginning to rain. We best get back to the abbey."
"You go on. I will be all right." Robin's attempts to shoo her away were in vain.
"Do not be so stubborn!" Marian raised her voice in frustration.
"Stubborn!" How dare she use that word when she was more stubborn and strong-willed than anyone?
"Come on!" She urged.
"I am NOT going with you." He spoke firmly. "You expect…too much." He turned his back to her and reluctantly, she left him there.
Had she gone too far; extinguished his warmth, his spirit? Thinking Robin was done with her for good this time, her eyes flooded with tears.
Marian walked slowly toward the abbey kitchens returning with a lighter basket, but a heavier heart. Djaq would take the ointment and bandages to Robin; he would allow her help. He still held the message she'd written. It was in his hand even in sleep. There was room for hope, wasn't there? And yet she was glad for the rain; it would mask her tears.
"Marian, is that you?" They were the first words Little John had uttered in two days, and very welcomed ones.
"Yes, it is me. How are you feeling?"
"Fine." The big man struggled to sit up, and only managed with her help. "My clothes…that's the trouble with nuns, Marian…."
"What?" She asked, warily raising an eyebrow.
"Only get a few scratches and they can't wait to get your clothes off!"
"What was left of your clothes needed to be cleaned and mended!" She held up his leather jerkin and showed him the many new seams. "And they were NOT 'scratches.' You have to rest or you will reopen your wounds. Djaq and I spent hours sewing you up and we will both be angry if we have to do it again."
She fed and resettled him, grateful he accepted her help without complaint.
"Where is everyone?" Little John yawned; he was already tired after so short a time.
"They will be by tonight," Marian told him.
"To take me back?"
"No, John. You must rest another four days at least."
"Good." John responded. "The bed is soft and the food is good. Oh!" He added with bushy grin, "No washing up."
The outlaws were frequent visitors over the ensuing week - all but Djaq and Robin. The former kept away from the abbey out of deference to the sisters' discomfort in a Saracen's presence, and the latter out of fear his resolve would crumble in Marian's company.