Sheldon must learn to "make nice" with donors or else his funding is down the drain. Can he do it? How in the world can Penny mold him into a nicer, more pleasant man? Or will she just teach him to fake it?
He carefully inspected the bench she sat on before perching on the edge. Penny smirked. "Come on, Sheldon. Relax a bit. Sit back and get comfortable."
He gave her a hostile look and scooted back a quarter inch. "I do not see how this is helpful."
Penny shrugged and turned to look across the park. "So, let's play a little game."
Sheldon smiled quickly. "Oh. How about elements? I name an element and then you have to name one that starts with the last letter of the previous element."
Penny shook her head. "No. Let's play pretend. We will pretend we are two ordinary people who just met so we can practice conversations. Today's conversation will be about art."
He huffed. "Why do we need to discuss art? Art has nothing to do with my work." His voice dripped with arrogance. "Nor am I ordinary!"
"Sheldon, you are paying me to help you. Do you really intend to question everything we do? All you are doing is wasting your own time."
He looked at her with frustration. "Fine. What kind of art?"
Penny smiled internally. He really was a crotchety old man in a young man's body. "Sheldon, I recently heard that in New York, young artists were being run out of public parks by police. What do you think about that?"
"I don't," he said simply.
"You don't what?"
"I don't think about it," he replied. "It has no bearing on my life or work." Penny reached over and slapped his hand lightly. Sheldon jumped and gaped at her. "You hit me!"
Penny calmly regarded him and repeated more sternly. "Sheldon, I recently heard that in New York young artists were being run out of public parks by police. What do you think about that?"
He wondered if he could blow up her head with his mind. He gritted his teeth. "I have no opinion on it."
"Do you think artists should be banned from public parks?" she asked sedately.
"I have no opinion on it." Penny sighed and reached over. Before he could blink she had smacked his hand again. Sheldon stood up this time and clenched his fists at this side. "I am not paying you to abuse my person!"
"Sit." Her voice was even, but contained a core of steel that made him instantly obey. She turned to face him. "You are like an untrained puppy. You will learn manners. You will learn civility. The world does not revolve around you, Dr. Cooper. You live in the world, not the other way around. Life does not owe you anything. The rest of us do not owe you anything. For all your intelligence, you are a very undisciplined and unruly child. Now, you can continue on the path you are on, or you can try to change, try to be a man. If you want to make something more of yourself than the obnoxious being sitting before me, then I will help you. If not, I will refund your money and you can go away. I do not have the time nor the inclination to deal with someone so arrogant as to think themselves perfect."
Sheldon had never been so stung by another's words in his life. Even the years of bullying he had endured held none of the hurt her characterization of him did. He couldn't even look at her. "Is that really how you see me?" he asked softly. "How others see me?"
Penny leaned forward and waited until he looked up at her. "Yes, Sheldon, it is how I see you." He started to turn away, but she touched his shoulder. "But, I also see the potential in you. I see a man, struggling to be set free inside you. You are highly intelligent. You can be more than you are right now. It is there, inside you. You just have to bring it out. I can and will help you if you let me. But I can't force it on you. This is something you have to want."
Sheldon felt fearful of what would come of this. "I do not like change," he whispered.
Penny nodded in acknowledgement. "No one ever does, Sheldon. But it is how we grow. And I think, that if you really do try, you will find not much actually changes. I'm not here to disrupt your routines, or schedule. I'm not trying to change you into something you are not. What I will do is help you develop who you already are to it's full potential. You stopped that development a long time ago and now you are stagnant. It's time to finish growing."
Potential. That was something he could understand. He had always known his potential in science. He had always known his potential in academia. He nodded and relaxed a bit. She did not think him hopeless, just stagnated. He could deal with that.
"Okay," he said meekly. "I want your help." Penny smiled warmly and stood.
"Let's walk," she said. Sheldon stood willingly enough but hesitated as she placed her hand in the crook of his elbow. Penny smiled knowingly. She was fully aware of how hard she was pushing his boundaries. He nodded and bent his arm in a gentlemanly fashion.
XTBBTX
Sheldon was sure this as a form of torture. What other reason could she have for forcing him to do this. She had said they would be touring the museum. She had not said he would be leading the tour! A tour of 2nd graders nonetheless! Sheldon grimaced as one little girl tugged on his pants.
"Dr. Cooper, why does that cat have tusks?" she asked.
Sheldon sent Penny a glare but she was busy wiping a little boy's nose. "Those are not tusks," he said in annoyance. "They are saber teeth. Although they look scary, they were actually very fragile." The little girl still clutched his pants.
"Did he bite his tongue a lot? I bet he did." Sheldon sighed and looked down at the girl again.
"I doubt it. He would have had to open his mouth wider than his jaws allow for that to happen." Penny looked over at him and smiled. Sheldon dropped his gaze to the floor, flustered by not only the kids, but her.
XTBBTX
Sheldon was only moments away from running for the door. Everywhere he turned someone was looking at him.
"Ladies, please give the man some room." Penny walked into the room and smiled at him reassuringly. He had never been so happy to see someone in his life, he thought. Penny took a seat and Sheldon hurried to take the one beside her. A heavyset woman with a fire engine red wig sat beside him and gazed at him adoringly.
"Okay," Penny said brightly. "We have a guest today. Ladies, please say hello to Sheldon Cooper. Sheldon has difficulty relating to others, so he has agreed to visit with us so that he can get a bit of experience dealing with highly aggressive women." Sheldon twitched fiercely as the women tittered alarmingly and scooted their chairs closer to him.
Penny turned stern eyes on them. "Ladies! What have we discussed concerning guests?" There was a lot of low murmuring but they moved their chairs back some, allowing Sheldon to relax slightly. Penny patted his arm gently and he smiled gratefully.
"Sheldon, these ladies are patients of mine. They are working on aggression issues. If you feel cornered, please just say so calmly and the ladies will back off. They have made great strides in learning boundaries, and having a guest is good practice for them. Right, dears?" The group nodded immediately and smiled as sweetly as possible.
One tiny older lady, whose feet didn't touch the floor, leaned precariously forward. "You are very cute. Like my grandson. I want to hug you. But I won't. Unless you say I can." Sheldon's eyes grew alarmingly wide. He looked at Penny and she raised one eyebrow at him, refusing to step in.
He cleared his throat. "Thank you for the compliment, but I am uncomfortable with being hugged."
The little woman looked sad for a moment. "Alright." She suddenly smiled. "But if you change your mind, I'm Gladys." Sheldon nodded to her noncommittally.
The ladies began pulling out their needlepoint projects and Penny handed one to Sheldon. It was a simple Home Sweet Home pattern surrounded by daisies. "Today's topic," Penny said with a wink at him, "is gardening, Sheldon. I suggest you begin by asking Violet about her cactus garden."
Violet, as it turned out, was the red wig woman, who had an unsettling fascination with peyote.
XTBBTX
Sheldon was just stepping off the elevator when he saw a gentleman exit Penny's apartment. The man paused after the door closed to tuck his shirt into his pants. He checked his watch and then hurried toward the elevator. He passed by Sheldon with only a nod. As he neared Penny's apartment, the door across the hall from hers opened. A dark skinned man stepped at and glanced at Sheldon before locking his door.
"You another one of her clients?" the stranger asked Sheldon.
Sheldon nodded. "I am Sheldon. You are Penny's neighbor?"
"Raj Koothrappali," he said with a smirk. "Yeah, I've had a ring side seat to her revolving door for a couple of years now."
Sheldon frowned. "I do not understand."
Raj's smirk grew wider. "Don't tell me you thought you were the only one. That girl's had more men AND women, in and out of that apartment than any porn star ever attempted."
He felt the blush creeping up his neck, but tried to glare at her neighbor regardless. "Penny is a therapist. Not a prostitute."
Raj shook his head in amusement. "Sure, buddy. Have fun with your "therapy". Hope you use protection." He winked and strolled down the hall.
Sheldon watched him until the elevator doors closed. He slowly turned and walked down the hall. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Moments later Penny opened up and smiled at him.
"Hello Sheldon. You're right on time. Please come in." She turned and moved into the room. The door set in the blue wall was slightly open and he could see a massage table inside. Penny walked inside the room and began washing her hands in the sink. Once she was finished she exited the room and closed the door.
She sat on the sofa and looked at him, his eyes still on the closed door. Penny sighed heavily, and he quickly turned to face her. Sheldon blushed and moved swiftly to his seat.
"Sheldon, do you want to discuss it?"
He looked at her with confusion. "Discuss what?"
"Your view on sexuality," she said calmly. "It is obvious you regard the activity with something close to dislike."
Sheldon's blush deepened. "I have no interest in coitus."
Penny quirked an eyebrow at him. "Really? None at all? Does that not make relationships difficult?"
He shook his head. "I am not interested in relationships either. I am beyond that. My life is physics."
Penny tilted her head. "Physics, but not physicality. That seems like a very lonely life."
Another shake of his head, mainly to disguise the twitch above his eye. "My work is very fulfilling. I have no need or inclination for coitus, or emotional attachments."
She crossed her legs and leaned forward. "Coitus? You've used that word twice now. Why?"
"It is the correct clinical term," he said with a slight smugness.
Penny nodded. "Yes, I know that. Why do you use it though? Sex is not clinical. It is messy, sweaty, physical, emotional, and if done correctly, explosive."
Sheldon shuddered. "Exactly. I do not like messy. I do not like emotional. I prefer neat and clinical."
Penny stared at him for several seconds before uncrossing her legs and standing up. "Okay. Today we are going to a soccer game at the middle school a few blocks from here. It will help you adjust to being in a large boisterous crowd."
Sheldon stood as relief washed over him. The conversation had made him distinctly uncomfortable.