Chapter 13: "Not goodbye…"

Marian stood before Mother Agnes, wondering at the reason for her summons.

"How many more days shall the outlaw require care?" The question was kindly asked.

"Another day or two…."

"I must confess I have serious misgivings at having him here any longer, Marian."

"Surely you do not mean to turn him out?" Marian asked hopefully.

"I must weigh the good to him against the harm to you, Marian."

For an instant the younger woman feared the nun was told of her message to Robin, but there was only concern in the serene brown eyes, not rebuke.

"The struggle lies within you." Sister Agnes continued. "The life you have forsaken holds a dangerous attraction. You are renewing old ties child, and that is why your friend must leave."

"Oh no, Mother! He is not fit…."

"That is truly the reason for keeping him here?"

"Yes ma'am," Marian answered, looking at the stone floor.

"It is not because through him you may yet see Robin Hood?"

It was time for Marian to declare once and for all that she would finish her year at the abbey as she had promised. The nun waited, but Marian made no reply; she could not deny she longed to return to Robin. She came to Rufford seeking sanctuary for her father and time to nurse him back to health. Edward regained his strength quicker than she anticipated.

At last the Reverend Mother replied, "The outlaw may stay one more day."

"And my father?" Marian asked, still not informed about Edward's plan.

"Sir Edward may stay as long as he wishes; it is the outlaw that concerns me."

Marian nodded and bowed her head. As the young woman turned to leave, the nun considered silently if Marian's stay at Rufford would outlast that of the outlaw.

Marian returned to John's tiny cubicle to find Much, Allan and Will crowded around him.

"Look at this, Marian," Much held a leather thong between his hands. "It's the teeth and claws from the bear."

"My bear," corrected John. "Give it," he ordered looking at Much.

"What are you going to do with it?" She asked, thinking it a gruesome reminder of a terrible ordeal.

"I do not know. Wear it?" Little John looked unsure about the last idea then his face lit up, "I will save it for my son!"

"Where is the hide?" Marian asked as she uncovered the patient to check his bandages. Visits from his friends always ended with the gash in his side reopening no matter how many times she warned him not to laugh.

"I'm workin' on it," Allan said proudly.

"He was massive!" John said holding his arms out to show how big around he was."

Allan winked in Marian's direction, "Nah, it was a small, sickly one."

"I would have had him if Robin hadn't come," John declared in a tone that made it clear he actually believed his words.

"Are we supposed to let him talk like that in a holy place?" Will wanted to know.

Laughter filled the room, but Marian's slight smile turned decidedly grim. "Careful!" She paused briefly, "You better leave; it will be dark soon."

The outlaws filed out of the chamber, Much bringing up the rear. Marian watched as her friends moved quietly down the hall. She started back to John's room then quickly ran after Much, taking hold of his arm and pulling him aside.

"How is Robin? His arm looked bad. He wouldn't let me help him, Much. I tried."

"His arm is healing…" Much looked at her with a raised brow.

"I miss…" Marian's voice trailed off as she hugged her long time friend and buried her face in his shoulder.

Much finished the sentence for himself. It was not quite the reaction he wanted, but proof enough his suspicions were right; Marian would soon return to Robin.

Squeezing her gently, Much whispered, "You must follow your heart." He released her then and ran to catch up to the others.

Marian tried to smile through her tears, "Goodbye…" She called after him.

"I do not think so," Much said softly, "…not goodbye."

Drying her face, Marian returned to her patient. John sat on his pallet fingering the hideous keepsake, still fascinated to have survived the encounter. Without speaking, Marian began redressing the hole in John's side.

"Has it opened again?" John inquired as the bandage was removed, wincing as it stuck to the wound.

"It has. I told you it would if you did not keep still." There was a roughness to her touch that had not been there before.

"OW! The bear was bad enough."

"Sorry…" She sat back and put her hands in her lap.

"What is wrong?"

"You have to leave tomorrow." Obviously the fact upset her, and John was touched by her concern.

"I will go," He said softly.

"You will still have to rest," she instructed.

"Yes," he nodded.

"And keep warm…"

"Yes ma'am," John answered dutifully with a quick bob of his head then yawned loudly and changed the subject. "You will see Robin?"

"I have seen him."

"Is that why he's never here? You sent him away?"

"Of course not." She looked away, "he does not understand…."

"I know how he feels." John noticed the color rush to her cheeks, but continued. "When are you coming to the forest?"

"He does not want me there..." Marian struggled to keep her voice from trembling.

"Phffft," John scoffed. "Rubbish! He needs you."

Fighting the tears, Marian fled the room.

The broad-shouldered outlaw had no regrets for his words. To his mind Robin should have set her straight months ago. Carried her back to Sherwood if need be until she came to her senses. He was sure Marian would not return to tend him any more. It took all evening and most of his strength to get into his clothes; when it was accomplished, he quietly left the abbey.