Chapter 6 (Epilogue): Misbrand
(3 months later)
Accompanied by a squat of heavily armed SHIELD guards in the distance, Grant Ward trudges his way to the Wall of Valor. He shaved and was allowed to wear his black suit, the first time in ages, since he was temporarily released from a detention facility to come to the Wall. It was a new wall now, marked with new names of SHIELD agents since the beginning of the fall of HYDRA in the last year. His attention slowly made its way to the right panel, starting with the year 2015. On the top line, his finger traces to only name he searches for.
Agent Skye.
How ironic that her official term of service as a SHIELD agent lasted only 2 days, but her dedication was her lifetime. His fingers linger on the metal imprint of her name, and tearfully, memories flood back to him.
How thrilled and proud she looked when she got her badge…
How empathetic she was when she visited the Wall of Valor herself for the first time…
How hopeful she looked when she agreed to go out with him…
How gleeful she was whenever she beat him at board games…
How devastated she looked when she found out he betrayed her and the team…
How calm and beautiful she looked in her dying moments, when he told her loved her, and her affirming her belief in him…
His journey was going to be a long and arduous one, and in times that he couldn't feel he was able to take it, he thinks of her. He thinks of her infectious smile, and her last words to him. "Start over…I love you."
He was drawn out of his thoughts when felt another's presence invade his personal space.
"She's an amazing girl," Elliot's voice came from behind him, coming to stand by Ward's side. "An amazing agent."
Without taking his eyes off the Wall, Ward clamps his hand over his mouth to fight off the tears from falling. "She was…is," he answered, voice unsteadily cracking. "She's the best thing that ever happened to me, and I didn't love her the way she should've been loved. If only—if only I wasn't such a blind idiot following Garrett, she'd still be here. [turns to Elliot] And you wouldn't have been—"
"Hey, hey," Elliot said, patting his shoulder. "You didn't know. There was no way you could've known. I wish I was stronger to fight."
Ward had to steady himself. He hadn't seen Elliot since that fateful day at the HYDRA base, and it was unbelievable that he's standing there now, cleaned up in a pristine black suit similar to his. "I'm so, so sorry, Elliot," he said, finally facing him. "About everything. From when we were kids, to all the years in Garrett's captivity. You suffered so much. I screwed up everything. You—"
"Okay, Grant, you gotta stop this," Elliot interrupted. His face was full of empathy and strength as he placed both hands on Ward's shoulders. "It's not all on you. Growing up I knew that Maynard forced you to do a lot of horrible things, and Mom and Dad didn't give a crap. And yes, you killed, you messed up, you did horrible things, but you were also manipulated. It's all in the past. You can't undo that. Use it to move forward, not just for me, or yourself…[to wall] to Skye as well."
At this, the bay of tears at Ward's eyes fell. There was no use in hiding them.
"I miss her so much," he said, turning away and struggling to maintain composure. "I don't know what I can do anymore, without having her here with me. She keeps me grounded."
"She died a hero," Elliot continued, his arm around Ward's shoulder. "She wanted to save you. Your boss Coulson told me he heard the feeds throughout that operation. [hesitant, guilty] She gave me her bulletproof vest before you found her that day. I knew I should've tried harder to stop her from giving it to me, but she was so stubborn. I'm sorry."
Ward shook his head, grieved. "No, it's not your fault. It was NEVER your fault. She's as stubborn as they get, always thinking of others before herself."
"And she didn't want us to waste this chance," Elliot continued, cracking a small smile. "She saved both of us. Let's honor her by paying it forward, yeah?"
Ward bit his lip and nodded. His little brother is such a good, wise young man. He collapsed into his arms and cried. He didn't care that the guards and other students of the Academy saw him. He didn't care that his reputation as Agent Grant Ward, one of the best specialists known in SHIELD/HYDRA, was probably destroyed in his outburst of emotion as specialists don't show emotion. And he certainly didn't care if the new members of the rebuilt SHIELD saw him in his current state.
He mourned for the girl he loves lost, his missing years with Elliot, and a life of what could've been. If only he questioned the decisions in his life more, instead of so obediently following. If only he followed his heart, instead of his mind.
If only he followed his soul, instead of his cowardice.
If only he followed his weaknesses, not his indifferences.
If only he followed love, not loyalty.
…
He dreams of her, mostly nightmares of losing her in the beginning months after her sacrifice (he refuses to call it her "death", to preserve her martyrdom). He never forgets (and never will) the feeling of holding her in his arms in their final moments together. But slowly the nightmares begin to change to be dreams: good dreams, and memories of them together. Each smile, each nudge, each joke, each embrace. They're burned into his memory like branding on cattle.
Months later, with Coulson by his side, Ward was finally released from his detention facility and allowed back on the team. SHIELD was being rebuilt at an enormous rate after taking down the New Mexico HYDRA base, since that was one of the core bases for the HYDRA organization. Coulson vetted him in front of the new SHIELD council, arguing that he was a victim of Project G.A.R.R.E.T.T., brainwashed and practically threatened to be a part of HYDRA. With a tracking device on him, he was able to start going on missions again: this time, with a single motive, and that was for S.H.I.E.L.D., what Skye had given her life for. For her. He was also able to re-connect with Elliot, whom he was grateful, and their relationship has rekindled over time. Elliot opted to stay away from SHIELD and its associated counterparts, as offered by Coulson, to remain safe and hidden, in case any other lone HYDRA agents come searching for him while the team continues to bring down more HYDRA operations.
The team was extremely wary of having him around at first, and rightfully so—therefore, he had found most of his time down in the cargo hold with the punching bag, and spending time with Coulson. The time he spends with him (as with before, though he was too double-minded to notice) is a drastic difference than what he had spent with Garrett. Coulson forgave his sins over and had taught him that grace was much better than motive.
One night, he walked to Skye's former bunk, still currently unoccupied and contained her belongings. He slowly walked in and fingered through her belongings. Her bunk was largely untouched despite the plane takeover by HYDRA that he had participated in, for which he was grateful. It preserved her scent, her feel. Agent Triplett was to permanently join the team in a month, so Ward volunteers to take over Skye's bunk as he allows Trip to take his.
He sat down on her bed and peered outside of the window, the plane humming its engines in the background. Looking up to the full moon in the dark night sky, he wonders, "How different the ending would be if I didn't leave you in the first place, Skye."
It was Skye's final sacrifice that saved him. It is Grant Ward's first of many acts to avenge Skye and finally become the man he wanted to be.
Grant Ward, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D..
Too bad Skye wasn't around to see it.
THE END
Author's Note: I know MANY of you are not happy with the turn of the story as of last chapter. As Jeph Loeb has said in Comic Con, "…didn't see that coming." The last scene in the previous chapter was actually my first idea of the story, and everything else was set up to build to it. Character deaths are never happy, but I wanted to play with the idea of how much can one person's actions be the game changer for the rest of the team and the world. I'm thinking of re-writing the previous chapter to have an alternate (happier) ending…what do you think?
Thanks for reading! More stories to come. Shipping SkyeWard all the way!