Chapter 16: "Nothing is the same."
In another part of the forest, the outlaws were awake and getting about the day. Will and Djaq were hiding from Allan whose temper was flaring at not finding them. Showing his frustration, he dropped down and leaned against a giant elm. Much was fishing for the day's meal. It was easier than stalking deer and he had no desire to trek through the forest today. Napping on the riverbank with a string tied to his toe was more to his liking.
Still mending from his bout with the bear, Little John took a seat on the ground near the fire and leaned back against a large boulder. He'd already pampered the new quarterstaff Will had made for him while he recuperated at the abbey. Now he set about sharpening his dagger; even this simple task took most of his strength, but he had to do something. John Little was ready for action, but physically he was not yet up to it; knowing that did not lessen his frustration.
Another matter gnawed at John's idle mind – his conversation with Marian before he left Rufford. He spoke sharply; he meant for it to sting. They all wanted her back in Sherwood; nothing was the same since her decision to enter the abbey with her father. Robin certainly wasn't.
Keeping quiet the last six months about his friend's detachment was difficult for John; at times he just wanted to shake Robin out of the doldrums. But John could also understand Robin's reaction to his loss of Marian. Although he had been outlawed over ten years, seeing Alice again and meeting his son, only to let them go was the hardest thing John had ever done.
Robin became introspective, unwilling to get on with his life as if he was locked in time. As their leader his mercurial moods and behavior affected them all. The others had an unspoken agreement to avoid the subject of Marian's absence, giving Robin time to adjust; perhaps they were silent for too long. It seemed impossible, but after seeing Marian a few days ago Robin was even more withdrawn. He left camp before dawn this day and no one knew where he had gone.
Djaq and Will wandered off in the afternoon. The two had been spending more and more time together, sharing their pasts. Happy memories as well as the tragic ones were retold. The more Will knew her, the more he wanted to know; her life, her experiences were so different from his childhood in Locksley. What the young Englishman didn't realize is she found his life just as fascinating, just as extraordinary.
Their friends smiled at them more often and exchanged knowing nods when they left camp together. Djaq was amused; Will was annoyed, but mostly they just ignored them.
Leaving Sheriff Vasey dangling from the rafters of the great hall left the group in high spirits, and Robin was over the moon after Marian punched Guy in the nose and left him at the altar. Luckily Will picked that time to ask Robin for advice.
After watching Robin inserting trim feathers into the slotted arrow shafts for a few minutes, Will sat next to him and began fletching arrows, too. The others were off on various chores or errands leaving the two young men alone. After a minute or two Will worked up his courage; he prayed Robin would not tease him. Allan had done enough for all of them and now Will was overly sensitive.
"Robin, I need to talk to you about…."
"Djaq?" He said lowering his fletching. Robin's eyes twinkled and he looked directly at his friend. "I will not deny any of you the chance to be happy. She is an interesting woman."
For just an instant Will balked at Robin's observation, wondering why he found Djaq so fascinating. The befuddled look on the carpenter's youthful face urged Robin to continue.
"The few women I encountered in the Holy Land were not at all like Djaq, I mean they did not speak English so we, Much and I, knew nothing about them, really," he was prattling on in Much-like fashion.
Will just blinked with his mouth slightly open, no longer following the conversation.
Inhaling and exhaling deeply Robin tried yet again. "I am very happy for the two of you; we all are."
His shoulders sagging in relief, Will grinned broadly releasing the breath he was holding. "That noticeable, huh?"
"A pattern of after supper disappearances has been noticed…" Robin's smile was a borderline leer and Will flushed, developing an immediate need to pick up another fletching.
"How did you know?" He asked finally looking at his leader.
Arching his eyebrows Robin was at a loss, "How did I know…what?"
Hesitating for a moment, Will twirled an arrow shaft between his long, slim fingers. "Marian," he began, "…how did you know you loved her?"
Robin's smile changed sharply to a stunned stare.
"I don't mean to pry…"
"Uhm…it's not prying," Robin patted his young friend on the back. "Will, I'm probably the wrong man to ask because I have been helplessly smitten with the same beautiful, wonderful, infuriating, brave…"
"I think I get it," Will smiled.
Robin paused to linger over the picture his words painted. "The point is I have always loved Marian; I do not remember a time when I did not. It is just the truth."
"John said he felt prickly all over like a hedgehog when he met Alice," Will told him.
"Did he?" Robin laughed out loud and ran his fingers through his hair. "Prickly all over like a hedgehog! Leave it to John…."
Speaking earnestly Robin looked at Will, "The best advice I can give you, my friend, is trust your heart." Robin looked out into the forest, "I think your heart always knows." Robin paused, seeing Marian as she was before he left Nottingham. They were young and completely in love.
"Just remember," Robin continued, "Once you tell her, the relationship will change."
Will looked puzzled; Robin tried again.
"Revealing how you feel makes you vulnerable. Love requires risk; nothing is gained without taking a chance."
Will nodded and started to walk off when Robin yelled after him, "Djaq is different from English women so I could also be totally wrong!" Robin's winking smile did not erase Will's disheartened look. "It will be fine, trust me."
'Trust me,' was not particularly reassuring; Robin always said it. Will walked off to consider his advice. Robin was pleased Will confided in him and wondered how long it would take Djaq to ask Marian the same questions.
But that was then and six months later Robin again looked like the hopeless man he was on the day of Guy's Wedding.