Chapter 20: "Are we retired?"
After several hours most of the outlaws were back in camp telling John about the day's events - all but one.
"Have you seen Robin?" Djaq asked. John and Much shook their heads, wondering the same thing.
"Somethin's gotta 'appen 'ere," Allan barked. "We're a pitiful lot, we are!"
No one was in good spirits. The tension was as thick as the early morning fog on the dales. What were they to do about Robin? Each person struggled with the problem. Will joined the group after getting the campfire started.
"Fire's ready, Much," the handsome woodsman said walking over to stand by Djaq. She smiled at him and he took her small hand and laced their fingers together.
"It's a fine fire, Will, and I think you will find a tasty fish stew will be ready shortly."
"I spent all day sharpening this knife," John said holding up his shining blade. "…sharp enough to split a hair and you're serving stew! Fish stew!" He spat the words like they left a bad taste in his mouth; John and his son were not fond of fish.
"Gettin' back to your cranky, old self again, are we?" Allan observed.
"Old?" John questioned, pulling his frame to full height. "Who are you calling old?"
Allan held up his hands defensively, "easy, big man. I'm just sayin' we're all gettin' old waiting 'round 'ere."
"True," Will agreed. "We haven't seen a purse in two weeks!"
"Aye, are we retired?" John asked.
"Retired?" Robin's voice interrupted their conversation.
John whirled around wincing slightly as the pain reminded him he was not yet fully recovered.
"We may as well be retired for all the good we've done lately," Allan challenged.
Robin let the comment slide, hoping to avoid a verbal battle so soon. This was not the way he wanted to begin the conversation he knew was inevitable. Little John pursed his lips and walked over to face his leader. Much stopped fiddling with his fish concoction and joined the others as they circled their two friends.
"It is about time we got back to business." John stared unflinchingly at Robin.
"What's on your mind?" Robin encouraged, setting his jaw. The two men were so close the former lord felt John's breath on his face.
Everything John kept bottled up all winter came pouring out. "It's you! We've all watched while you pulled away from us. Marian may be gone, but we are still here."
Allan stepped up, "We'd follow you into anythin', anywhere; we've proved 'at!
"If Marian wants to stay at Rufford, we should leave her alone." Much said quietly.
Robin turned sharply and looked at his friend. The words hurt, but he had nothing to offer in his own defense. "I didn't think…"
"You 'adn't thought at all! 'at's the problem!" Allan charged into the conversation holding nothing back. "You've been like this for months."
"We don't know how to help you." Will said softly.
"You haven't talked to any of us about…what's going on with you." Djaq, too, tried to soften the message.
"I did not know how to talk about it," Robin looked at his feet. "After she left Gisborne at the altar, I thought…."
"It is difficult to fight an enemy you cannot see." It was Djaq who spoke with stoic wisdom.
"You are right, all of you," Robin said looking into the eyes of each person in the circle.
"We do not want to lose you too, Master." Much stepped forward and put his arm around his shoulders.
"You won't," Robin assured the group and they all gathered round, taking turns patting him on the back or squeezing his shoulder.
Flashing his friends a genuine smile, the outlaw leader spoke, "We have been idle too long. You have all been patient with me; I can ask no more of you."
Much handed Robin a wineskin and he took a long drink. As the vessel passed from friend to friend, a feeling of renewed unity permeated the hearts of the outlaws of Sherwood.
Robin chose not to mention he had seen Marian earlier; he must not give the others reason to suspect his new resolve. The path she took led directly away from camp and he had no reason to hope her departure from Rufford had to do with reconciliation.