CHAPTER 29: "I always have; I always will."

Still secretly observing their two friends, the outlaws leaned forward straining to hear the conversation. The unnatural movement of the bushes went unnoticed as Will and Djaq joined their friends who pointed excitedly at Robin and Marian. John held his index finger to his lips to encourage quiet. Now five pairs of eyes were glued to the two people standing in the firelight.

Filling her lungs with a long, slow breath, Marian exhaled on a controlled sigh, "I hate this tension between us."

Robin's eyes met her pained gaze and reassured her, "I'm very glad you are all right." He paused and took her hand, "that silly girl means nothing to me; she is delusional."

Smiling she looked up at him, "We still need to talk."

"You are hurt and upset," he answered softly, pulling a rather long twig from her hair. "It can wait."

"No Robin, it cannot!" Marian was insistent.

"Fine!" An icy tone replaced the concern in his voice. Robin firmed his defenses and sat down by the fire. Several long seconds passed before Marian finally spoke.

"I have rehearsed this conversation so many times, and now…I don't quite know how to begin."

Irritated at her hesitation Robin snapped, "You left me – again. Remember?" He stood up and started to leave; Marian ran after him grabbing his arm.

"I know…and you left me," she said softly.

Robin's eyes were black as midnight, "So this is you getting even – agreeing to marry a man you do not love, hiding away in an abbey? Now who needs to grow up?"

Marian's voice trembled, "When I took my father to Rufford, I hastily decided to stay there; he was so sick, Robin. As his daughter I…I was obliged to stay with him."

"So why are you here now?" It was a sarcastic question; he meant it to be.

"I told you last night why I am here. Were you listening?"

"Apparently not."

"I love you!"

Those three words would not soothe him this time. "Not enough to live with me in Sherwood, otherwise you would not have stayed in the abbey after it was clear Edward was out of danger."

"I have always…" Marian stopped abruptly. "You were spying on me?"

"Not everything is about you, Marian." Robin couldn't help it; he was enjoying this in a twisted way. "Edward is my Godfather; I was concerned."

Marian looked away, unable to hold contact with his unrelenting stare. Of course he would know everything! He is Robin bloody Hood! She thought wondering why they were still arguing. As she started to speak, Robin held up his hand to silence her.

"When your note came about that lady in Newark…I thought you…it wasn't what I expected." He lowered his eyes as if his confidence evaporated into the air.

"Things have been said...I've said things in anger I never meant. Things were not said that should have been."

Although Robin nodded his head in agreement, he did not speak. Marian took a deep breath and continued.

"While I was at Ruff…. While I was away I thought about us, about our choices and where they've led us…and I thought about the future.

At the mention of a future, Robin's features softened into an undecipherable stare.

"The future we…I dreamed of long ago may never be. But, we are still here and we have a chance…." Marian stopped to clear her throat as emotions overcame her and she wiped her watery eyes.

Robin decided to speak then, "When I thought I lost you…and Locksley to that…that monster, there was a huge hole right here," he tapped his chest, "my life was pouring out and I could do nothing but watch it happen..."

"…By the time you finally accept what is happening you are amazed how much there is left to hurt!"

That moment of shared pain, shared understanding, was a revelation for the young lovers. It was a course correction on their journey back to each other.

"We live in dangerous times, Marian," he cautioned.

"I did not stay with my father to be safe, not the way you mean. For years I fought within the system, but I saw your way was more effective. I took my pride to the abbey with my father. While he regained his strength, I thought about what I really wanted; what life I wanted."

"No one wants an outlaw's life, Marian. Safety is an illusion in Sherwood." Robin wanted her with him, but he did not want her in peril; it was a conundrum. "I want you to be safe."

Marian laughed darkly, "No man can make that choice for me, not even you."

"So what is your choice?" The question was finally asked and Robin took a breath.

Marian locked eyes with him, "Wherever you are, I would rather spend my life with you...even if it is only for one day."

He knew there was never any question he would take her back – even it he knew she would leave him again tomorrow. He would rather be hurt by her than loved by any other woman.

Marian misread his hesitation. "That is, if you want me here?"

"You think you are so easily forgotten? Did you forget me?"

"Never," she confessed freely, "and I tried." She winked at him and Robin grinned back.

"Six months is not long enough to learn to live without you," he said gently, trying again to smooth her tangled hair.

"Nor is five years," She reminded him playfully. Ever in competition the raised eyebrow emphasized that her waiting was much longer.

"We will make the best of all the time we have. That, too, is a choice." Robin pulled her close and she eased her arms around him.

"No matter what lies ahead of us, we face it together." She lovingly stroked his bearded cheek, "If we put as much energy into loving each other as we do into fighting each other, I think most of our problems would be solved."

Robin smiled as his eyes adored her, "Marian…" He whispered lowering his lips to hers. Just then a commotion on the far side of camp interrupted him.

Much complaining someone had pushed him tumbled through the undergrowth, landing heavily on the hard ground. "Right. Ah…sorry… We'll just be going." He stuttered, backing away.

The outlaws literally ran over each other trying to reach the shadows. Robin and Marian laughed uncontrollably until the last shirttail disappeared into the night - along with the looming tension.

"You are sure you want to live in this chaos?" Robin grinned, still holding her close.

"I am sure."

"Then we are bound forever. You have always had my heart; it has never been mine to give to another."

Marian smiled at that and threw her arms around his neck. They stood there for a long time holding tightly to each other. Finally she leaned her head back to look at him.

"I love you, Robin Hood; you are wild and bold like a stag; 'outlaw' is a title to be proud of." He laughed and she captured his lips in a happy kiss. "And, I love you, Robin of Locksley and Earl of Huntingdon, the man of my heart and noble knight." Robin's endearing grin earned him another kiss.

"My lady, do not tease me. You will be content with a leafy bower for a roof and a bed of grassland flowers, our pillow all of England?"

"You are a poet now?" She laughed at his pretentious words, but inside she was thrilled. When they were children he spoke overwrought prose to entertain her or impress her, Marian wasn't sure.

Acting the fool was worth it, Robin decided if it made Marian smile at him. "With only streaming sunlight to heat the days, you and I wearing only moonlight to heat the night…."

Drifting along on his poetic prose, Marian's eyes suddenly shot open, "That we will discuss further, my lord," she laughed. Truly she was just as ready as Robin to take their relationship to another level.

"You do inspire my verse, lady." He bowed elegantly and kissed her hand, "What care I for castles and earldoms when love is at stake? Tonight the fairest maiden in the entire world has agreed to be mine as I am hers! Surrounded by true friends in the heart of England, I lack for nothing ..."

"Are you practicing to infiltrate the castle as a minstrel?" She teased.

Robin held her face gently in his hands and covered her mouth in a passionate kiss. "I have wanted to kiss you like that since I saw you enter camp."

Leaning against his hold, Marian sighed, "I am sorry you waited so long, then."

"Oh I have an endless supply, only for you." He grinned against her lips before his passion carried them away again.

Under the stars in their beloved Sherwood, Marian reveled in the feral nature of his kisses; the way his hungry lips moved over hers. She savored the wildness in him. There was wildness about her, too.

Robin lifted her chin so he could see her face and looked deeply into her exquisite blue eyes, "I love you Marian," he whispered, "…I need you…more than you know."

Marian's eyes flooded with unshed tears; Robin looked at her questioningly not sure how to interpret this response. Quickly wiping his frown away with a loving stroke of her hand she smiled brightly.

"I love you, too, Robin. I always have; I always will."

"Marian…" He said her name like a lullaby. The tenderness and passion in his kiss revealed the depth of his love for her far better than mere words.

The lovers held tightly to each other, sharing a lingering kiss. Their eyes were closed and a feeling of joy and contentment flowed between them. No longer hindered by the constraints of society, they could live wild and free for as long as fate allowed. Seeking sanctuary was no longer necessary; Robin and Marian found sanctuary in every embrace.

Fin