Disclaimer : you already know it : I don't own Claymore

"Don't let it escape!"

If the sudden shout had not startled Yuma, the small impact she felt as something rebounded on her head would have. This was followed by something much heavier colliding with her at full speed, sending her to the floor in a position Tabitha would have killed to be in : on her back and a heavily breathing Miria on top of her.

Though the massive blade that impaled the ground right next to her head would probably have ruined even Tabitha's mood.

"Hurry up it's getting away!" a frantic Clare shouted, urging her fallen friend to move as she ran past them.

"Sorry Yuma." Miria apologized as she got up and resumed the chase after picking up her sword.

The rest of the Ghosts were trying to make sense of what they had just seen when an out of breath Rubel managed to catch up.

"Where did it go?" he panted.

Before anyone could answer, something ran between his legs and Miria's voice was heard again. "Rubel! Catch it!"

"No! Kill it!" Clare yelled behind her.

Her attempt at using her Windcutter to put her words in action almost cost Deneve yet another set of clothes. Though it was a good thing she kept her hair short; had it been like Galatea's pride and joy, she would have screamed bloody murder.

Author's personal memo : imagine a plot where Galatea somehow gets a haircut.

First addendum : find the guts to implement it.

Second addendum : find a good place to hide - from Galatea and her fans.

"Sure… you have the balls to get me naked and make fun of Miria but you won't dare touch Galatea… Hypocrite." Deneve muttered.

Guilty as charged.

Back to the action, the trio could still be seen chasing a small brown blur running around the place. The rest of the group, meaning the five other Ghosts, Raki and surprisingly Clarice, were giving them a wide berth considering Clare and Miria were swinging their swords in an attempt to skewer their prey.

"Damn! Whatever it is, it sure is fast." Helen accurately noted, seeing that the blur was keeping ahead of even Miria.

"What is it anyway?" Clarice wondered.

"Hey, what are you doing here Color-head?" Helen asked.

Clarice shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'll finally have a role in this thing."

"Or you'll have a very embarrassing moment." the former Twenty Two snickered.

Clarice crouched down to try and get a better look, which almost proved a fatal mistake as she was nearly stampeded by the group. As it was, she was saved just in time by Raki who hastily pulled her back; the end result of this was the brown-haired warrior being pressed against a broad, muscular male chest. She blushed profusely.

"T-Thank you."

The young man grinned, obviously not realizing the effect his proximity had on her. "You're welcome."

The effect however wasn't lost on Helen who leered at them. "Ah! Looks like I was right Color-head! Hey kid! You got a thing for Forty-Sevens or something?"

Cue to the sound of screeching tires. 'Raki-Sense... tingling,' Clare thought, which caused her to stop dead in her tracks and change her target to whoever was encroaching on her territory. Clarice paled and ran away, the former Forty-Seven hot on her tail.

"Now that you've had your fun, can we get back on topic?" Deneve asked.

Hehe… sorry, just a small treat for my beta…

While the Raki/Clarice fans were being satisfied, Miria still hadn't relented her chase.

"Tabitha, my loyal follower…" the Phantom warrior announced as she stalked toward her braided friend, sword ready for a swing and a slightly disturbing glint in her eyes, "… do… not…move."

"Captain?" Unfortunately for her, the thing had settled down on her head.

"Do… not… move." Miria repeated.

SWISH!

"EEEKKKKK!"

"Meow!"

"TABITHA! YOU MOVED!" Miria screamed indignantly, conveniently ignoring that she almost beheaded her subordinate if the slash mark in the wall was any indication. Tabitha could not answer as she was slumped down on the floor unconscious, a small amount of foam coming from her mouth and with comical anime-style swirly eyes.

In the meantime, the thing had stopped in the middle of the group who were finally allowed to see it properly.

"About time." Yuma muttered uncharacteristically. Honestly, the author's attempts at building up suspense were annoying at times. Not to mention he sucked at it.

"Is that…" Cynthia started.

"… a… cabbit?" Deneve finished.

The little critter looked like something straight from Tenchi Muyo. It had a rabbit-like brown-furred body and a rather feline head while its ears were a huge fluffy mess of tan fur. This would have been adorable on its own, but the big green eyes oozing with innocence pushed the cuteness to mega-kawaii levels.

"Meow?" the cabbit mewled inquiringly with its head cocked to the side.

The cuteness just got bumped to giga-kawaii. This look could have broken Alicia's mental conditioning, reformed Ophelia or made Riful swear off torturing Claymores. Heck, Clare would let go of her revenge and forgive Priscilla just from the power of those eyes… You'd have to be completely heartless not to be swayed.

Further away, Clare got the feeling she escaped having her purpose in life taken from her. She shuddered at the thought.

The forgotten Rubel lunged at the cabbit with the intent of ripping it to shreds with his bare hands.

POW!

CRASH!

The spy landed in an undignified heap in a darkened corner of the room, out cold. Everyone turned their eyes to the figure now standing in front of the cabbit with its fist still extended from punching the man. They didn't pay attention as the 'Jaws' theme began playing in the background, indicating the predator lurking there, waiting for its downed prey… a very muscular, arguably female predator with short spiky hair and silver eyes.

"No one… hurts… the cabbit…" Deneve growled menacingly, much to her friends' surprise, her entire body shaking with barely-restrained fury.

No one noticed the color drain from Helen's face. 'Shit! It's happening again!'

"Deneve? What's wrong with you?" Miria asked.

"It's… I'm sorry Miria…" Deneve panted like she was actually fighting herself and her eyes were glazing over. "I can't… control it…"

"Is she Awakening?" Cynthia asked worriedly.

"Over a cabbit? You've got to be kidding me!" Raki exclaimed.

No one heard Miria mutter "It's not a cabbit."

"C'mon Deneve! Fight it!" Helen pleaded. If this monster was once again unleashed, not even the Destroyer would compare to the ensuing horror.

"Can't… It's… too… KAWAAIIIIIII!" With a squeal of utter glee, the usually-stoic warrior whirled around and glomped the small creature, wrapping her arms around it and crushing it to her chest.

Everyone's jaw hit the ground in shock. Clare actually stopped chasing Clarice and stared at the dual-wielding warrior.

Helen's head slumped in defeat. "A cuteness attack… I thought she was over it…"

"Who's a cute widdle cabbit? Yes you are! You're my cute lil' Cabbit-chan!" Deneve cooed. Said cabbit was now squirming and wiggling to escape the death grip, to no avail. Its eyes were bulging out of their sockets and it was somehow turning blue.

Yuma managed to voice the collective thought. "You MUST be shitting me." There was no other way to put it, meekness and rating be damned.

"Deneve, put it down." Miria's command was met with a sword pointing at her.

"No one… hurts… Cabbit-chan…"

"You don't understand."Miria pleaded. "We can't let it loose."

"Miria, what's going on here? Why are you so dead set on killing a harmless animal?" Raki asked.

"Harmless?" Miria snorted. "If only you knew."

"Why? Is it a remnant of the Organization?" Yuma asked.

"No. It's worse than that."

"Is it a monster in disguise? Can it turn into another Destroyer?" Cynthia shuddered at the thought.

"Don't you think it would have already done that if it could?" Clare replied with wry amusement despite her earlier attempts at killing the thing.

Deneve was doing a pretty good job after all.

"Then what is it?" Clarice approached cautiously, making sure to keep Raki between her and the man's soul mate.

"It's a plot bunny." Seeing the confused expressions on her friends' faces, Miria elaborated. "The physical form of one of the author's fanfic ideas. Every fic we've been came from of these. "

"And why exactly is it so bad that that you want to kill it." Cynthia asked. "I mean, after what we've been through, I don't see what kind of plot could be worse."

"Unless it's another Miria-torture fic?" Helen jested.

"It's not just about me!" Miria exclaimed. "Don't you see? It's not a random plot bunny, it's the Pokegirl plot bunny!" A rumble of thunder was heard and the lights flickered to increase the dramatic proclamation.

She looked at her friends, fully expecting shocked gasps and horror-filled stares.

"Huh, Miria?" Yuma asked.

"Yes?"

"What is a Pokegirl?"

At this moment the lights went out. "Hey! What's going on?" Helen called in the pitch darkness.

We apologize for this inconvenience but this chapter is too long and needs to be split in order to keep the fic somewhat balanced. This is just a convenient point for yet another lame attempt at a cliffhanger.

"OH COME ON!" everyone chorused.

Don't worry, the next chapter's coming.

"Now I'm worried." Miria groaned.

"Before this ends, there's one more question I'd like to ask." Raki said.

"What?"

"Whose hand is on my butt?"