Elsa had to relearn how to breathe. Anna's scent filled her nose, a sweet outdoorsy smell – like pine trees and something sweet….and smelled awfully familiar. It took her a few seconds to name it, but once her mind whispered chocolate, she knew that's what heaven smelled like. Pine and chocolate. Her Anna.
Elsa inhaled sharply when Anna leaned even closer to her, desperately looking anywhere else than the tantalizing view of the girl's cleavage in the simple, elegant corset she chose to wear tonight; her willpower withering gradually under the young woman's eager freckled face so dangerously close to hers.
"Can I see some of your drawings?" The hopeful almost puppy-like expression she wielded chipped diligently away at Elsa's walls.
For once, Elsa floundered for words. How many drawings were of those sunshine smiles; of Anna laughing and playing without a care in the world? How many of them spoke of the first pains of a foolhardy crush, gradually turning to a love she could never share, much less act upon?
Especially now, her mind echoed, forcing her to steel herself against the onslaught of guilt and self-pity.
Those teal eyes begged her, the curiosity and some other emotion she couldn't identify, lighting up in silent pleading.
She bit her lip, whether to stop herself from saying anything, or due to frustration on NOT being able to say anything, was anyone's guess – including her own. Her thoughts flurried around, indecisiveness clutching at her desperately.
Anna's face languidly began to lose its enthusiastic luster, replaced by an uncertain forlorn expression and looking a little – hurt?
Oh no. The hurtful wounded look nearly killed her. Elsa unclenched her fists, startled by how unaware she had been of her body's fear response, as she let out the air she had been holding. "Anna…"
She wanted to kiss her, to ease her princess's fears; to open those doors like she should have done so long ago; to reassure her, she'd never be alone. Her hands followed thought, gently caressing the side of Anna's face, turning her towards her again.
Anna's eyes widened with surprise but her fingers hesitated, their confidence waning, as they dropped back into her lap with disappointment. "Anna, it's not that I don't want to show you. I am afraid I-I am not entirely sure I know how to." Elsa squeezed her eyes shut at how close to the truth those words were. It seemed innocent enough given the situation, but she knew what she really meant between the lines. Her heart made her painfully aware of its presence, wanting nothing more than to give into it, but logic and reason always rose as the victor.
She could practically feel the parchment's satisfied sneer from all the way over here.
When she could finally open her eyes again; her composure settled across her shoulders like a security blanket. Anna seemed content and thoughtful. "Elsa, I know I've pushed and pried to annoying lengths ever since we were kids. I realize how hard it must be for you to…open up after all this time."
Elsa froze. She hadn't expected this.
"I just want you to know, even if it seems like I'm being too pushy, I do respect you. After all these years, I finally understand why you pushed me away. And I guess," she paused and bit her lower lip, as Elsa tried and completely failed to ignore how soft and inviting they looked. "Well, I guess I'm just excited to learn everything I can about you."
Elsa definitely didn't expect this. Her soup must be frosted over by now.
"So I'm sorry for being…well, for being myself." She smiled sheepishly at her, lightly tugging on one of her adorable ginger braids, attempting to still the nervous fluttering of her hands.
"I want to show you!" Elsa blurted out without warning. Wait what!? Damn that beautiful girl for touching her heart so gently!She blinked away her tears before they could fully form. "Ahem, eventually. That is, if you can bear with me."
What…ARE YOU DOING!? She fought off the urge to wince at the internal war she inadvertently started.
Yet the smile she received in return transcended all thoughts, assuring her she said the right thing. It made Elsa weak in the knees. She silently thanked the gods she had already been sitting down.
"No rush or anything," the ginger replied back with a grin, the weird tension dissipating as quickly as it arrived.
They settled into a comfortable silence then, just as their second course arrived. Anna happily dug into her meal with new gusto, making cute little exclamations of how amazing the food was. Elsa couldn't help but smile softly behind her hand, allowing herself to enjoy the presence of the younger woman, unwilling to shatter the newfound peace. The news of the parchment and what came with it lay forgotten in her mind.
Out of the corner of her eyes, Anna surreptitiously stole a glance at the Queen, noticing the unusual warmth shining behind those ocean blues. It made her feel like that warmth was directed towards her, and she had to firmly chide herself from being tickled pink by the notion. She could barely eat the rest of her meal now, and found herself wishing once again, for the night to never end.
Yet, all good things must come to a close. It happened right in the middle of Anna relaying a story about one of Kristoff's ice deliveries gone horribly wrong over their chocolate éclairs. Elsa's demeanor changed ever so slightly, and if Anna hadn't of been paying strict close attention to her, she would have missed it entirely.
"Elsa, what's wrong?" For some reason, her heart took a nose dive plummeting somewhere past her toes. Quiet dread filled her and she simply couldn't fathom the reason. She just knew in her heart of hearts, Elsa needed to get something off her chest. Her sudden sixth sense telling her this whole time she's wanted to talk about it. And it wasn't good.
"I-I nothing is wrong." Elsa said with a slight shake of her head, her regal mask fusing itself on.
It was the last straw. The sight of that royal composure she reserved for business meetings enraged Anna and she all but practically exploded at her. "Bullshit Elsa! You think I don't see the pain behind your smiles? The war waging in your eyes? I can tell you've been wanting to say something all evening….Why won't you let me in?"
Elsa let out a startled noise, halfway between a gasp and a sob. Her magnetic blue eyes pooling over with tears rapidly, catching them both unawares. Only Anna didn't hesitate, she quickly pulled the Queen into a hug; Elsa now nestled up in her neck while the older woman's sobs grew. She murmured quiet reassurances; Elsa's arms eventually wrapped around her with great hesitation, as if she were a live wire, but soon enough, clutched at her like a life-line.
Anna wished she were holding her Queen under better circumstances, yet was happy enough to be her rock. The sobs mellowed down to soft little hiccups while Anna's fingers ran through the soft platinum hair, the bun now a messy array of hair but nonetheless, still breathtakingly beautiful.
"Anna," the soft voice sounded scared. She had to force herself to intently concentrate on the words instead of how those lips grazed against her neck.
"It's alright Elsie. I'm right here," She cooed, purposely using her old childish nickname for her. Anna gently pulled back a little to see her face, although Elsa seemed highly reluctant to leave her newfound hiding spot.
Elsa sighed and wrapped her arms around herself, looking everywhere else but at her; embarrassment clearly etched in her features as well as – shame? The silence grew with the unspoken words and Anna had to fight to keep her level of patience. But then she smiled softly with understanding.
"Hmm should we start over? Was there something rehearsed?"
Surprise laughter trilled from the Queen's lips, a very unlady-like snort escaping to the poor woman's horror who immediately clamped a hand over her mouth. Anna laughed so loudly that she too, let out an undignified snort. They both had to pause in a desperate attempt to catch their breaths, but one look at each other was all it took before they both dissolved into a fit of giggles.
Eventually they got a hold of themselves, although it definitely took some time. Laughing like that had felt so good, and for a few more precious minutes, they both could still pretend everything was fine.
I know, what a terrible place to end the chapter. So now we see the more mature side of Anna and how their relationship is on the mends/becoming something more. Only...Elsa still hasn't said shit. I feel for her. This scene took me a bit to develop, to really convey how they're both feeling. I hope it doesn't disappoint (aside from the major cliff hanger...because I'm tired lol).