Disclaimer : I don't own Claymore, just having fun with it.
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"Well," Miria scowled at her assembled friends, "what do you have to say for yourselves?"
No one answered, which made Miria's scowl deepen. "Six chapters." she said slowly. "This rebellion has been going on for six freaking chapters and you have just arrived. We've been through Abyss Feeders and resurrected Number Ones, who have now Awakened by the way… I am the only warrior left at anywhere near fighting condition…"
"Calm down Captain. Your arms will fall off if you lose focus."
Miria ignored Tabitha's concern. "Because you know, all the others have been kind of dismembered, aside from the combat-capable twins and Raftela, who is near death anyway. I could have used the reinforcements much earlier. So WHY did it take so long?"
The rest of the Ghosts, minus Clare who was still absent, shuffled on their feet, heads lowered.
"Well at least we got another 'big damn heroes' moment out of it." Helen muttered.
"We did look pretty awesome." Cynthia nodded.
"Hello, Abyssal-level Awakened, three of them." Miria scowled. "So I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you."
"Come on, you got yourself yet another epic moment too." Helen grinned. "I mean, you went toe to toe with a Number One and actually won."
Miria snorted. "By getting myself hacked to pieces, and resorting to a dirty trick. Not to mention the jokes it has led to."
"Hey, a win is a win, even one pulled by the skin of your teeth." Helen laughed, and the others stifled a snicker.
Miria muttered a few choice words.
"Now Miria," Deneve chided, "no need to have such a foul mouth."
"Yeah, no need to bite our heads off." Helen added. "This battle was amazing."
"Indeed, we knew Miria is strong, but she showed some unexpected skills here…" Deneve trailed off.
"Well, Captain did train pretty hard during those seven years." a blushing Tabitha defended.
"Though I wonder what kind of training it was. 'How to fit something huge in your mouth 101' isn't exactly common for a warrior." Helen said.
Deneve raised an eyebrow. "You are talking about Miria's sword, right?"
"Of course," Helen confirmed as she took her own sword and examined it. "I mean, look at the size of that thing! What else could I be… Oops."
"Oops indeed." Miria hissed frostily.
"But this makes me wonder…" Helen grinned evilly.
The glare Miria threw her promised death. Why her damn it? It wasn't the first time a manga character grabbed their sword like this! Okay, usually it's by the blade, but still! Why was she the only one on the receiving end of the innuendo? The fandom had been joking about how she managed to defeat Hysteria, and just like her fake death, she had a feeling she would never live it down.
"Do you want me you show you?" Miria asked dangerously, taking her own sword. "Though I must warn you, the practice is quite hazardous. You might even lose your head by accident."
"Huh, you know, maybe that's not a good idea after all… maybe we should drop it altogether." Helen stammered, getting several nods of agreement.
"I'm glad we agree." the feared leader smiled sweetly. "Now, back to the original topic… WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?" she roared.
"Well, you see, we were coming to help but we got sidetracked." Cynthia said meekly. "First we ran into Anastasia's squad. They had been ambushed by a bunch of Awakened Beings and we had to help them."
"Cynthia, these Awakened happened to be in our way so we killed them. This was just a fortunate coincidence." Deneve reminded.
Everyone, even the author, rolled their eyes.
Cynthia coughed. "Sure, whatever you say. Anyway, after that we had to heal the wounded and wait till that low-ranked warrior…"
"Keira." Yuma supplied.
"Right, till Keira stopped crying."
"And people thought Raki was a crybaby." Helen grumbled. "Bad enough from a human, but to see this from a warrior."
"Back on topic please." Miria hissed.
"Right. Then Deneve wondered where those ABs came from, and Tabitha managed to pinpoint their origin. One of the Organization's labs apparently." Cynthia finished.
"We kicked their asses!" Helen cheered before deflating. "And all we got for that was a few panels."
"One minute we decide to go there, next we're trashing the place. And Yagi didn't even bother explaining anything about it either. What the Org were doing there, how they did it, how it was manned, how big it was…" Yuma pointed out.
Miria grumbled. "Yeah, a completely transparent plot device for the sole purpose of delaying you. Then you destroyed that lab and rushed to me." Looking around, she caught a few guilty looks and narrowed her eyes.
"Well, you see…" the pig-tailed warrior and seemingly designated spokeswoman started again. "First we had to heal the wounded, again. Then wait till Keira stopped crying, again."
"I threw my sword a bit too hard." Yuma confessed sheepishly. "So I had to get it back."
"Three miles away. A new record." Helen cheered.
"Then Helen found a booze stash and dragged Nike into a drinking contest." Yuma said.
"Traitor!"
"Indeed these two are like long-lost sisters." Tabitha mused. "But then they got hung over…"
"And threw up." Yuma sighed. "… on Anastasia's hair."
"Don't remind me." Deneve groaned. "First we had to calm her down, then we had to wait for her to fix her hair. That took a while."
"Hey, we apologized." Helen defended.
Miria's eyebrow twitched dangerously. "Is this all?"
"Just a short bathroom break and we were on our way, Captain." Tabitha finished soothingly.
"I just hope Keira won't break down again." Cynthia sighed.
"And whose brilliant idea was it to go there?" Miria growled, hand just itching for her sword. 'Must… resist… urge…'
Immediately several hands were pointed toward Tabitha who sputtered indignantly.
"Well, you did decide our course." Helen stated. "After rescuing Anastasia's group, we had the option to go help Miria immediately or go to that facility first."
"And someone pushed the decision on me!" Tabitha glared at Deneve. "Besides I did what Captain would have done and you know it!"
"Don't blame me, you still made the choice." Deneve coldly replied.
"Who exactly has been leading in my absence?" Miria asked tersely, only to see her friends shuffling on their feet.
"You see, the problem is that aside from you, Miria, no one ever stood out as a leader. Deneve kind of took over, but it was never official." Yuma explained.
Cynthia nodded. "If we went by our old structure, the highest-ranking warrior takes the lead, but several things threw this off. For example, among us, higher rank means the strongest, in theory me. However, you and Clare clearly stand above us in terms of power."
"But Clare is not here, besides she's too volatile to lead." Yuma objected.
"Precisely. Leadership stems from two things : ability and willingness. Power should only be a means to enforce decisions if necessary, but a natural leader shouldn't need it. Their decisions make enough sense that no one contests them." Cynthia continued.
"But since we tend to butt heads all the time, it does become necessary to keep the others in line. Remember Pieta." Helen pointed out.
"Right, however this means we often mistake power for ability, which is an error. Galatea and Rafaela may have been stronger than Miria pre-timeskip, but I doubt they'd have led us better in Pieta. As for Ophelia, well..." Yuma shuddered at the thought.
"Right, anyway even though I'm the highest ranking, both Deneve and Helen are stronger than me." Cynthia resumed her explanation. "Besides, I haven't shown any willingness to take charge while Deneve did. And she is level-headed and has shown ability to think on her feet."
Deneve blinked. "What? When?"
"Well, you analyzed the errors Shorty's squad made against that AB pretty well when we ran into them." Helen shrugged. "And come on, using those cat-things to delay Priscilla was a nice try."
"Too bad she has an annoying habit of psychoanalyzing people. It sounds like she's pulling things out of her ass at times." Cynthia sighed.
"Hey!"
"Sorry, Miria can explain things and make it believable. You on the other hand sound like a two-bit shrink." the pigtailed warrior shrugged apologetically.
Helen snickered. "Heh. Dr. Deneve."
"I do not psychoanalyze." Deneve huffed.
"Undine's strange way of caring… Clare and Jean's 'wedge'… Tabitha's worship of Miria…" Yuma counted.
"Fine, I get it." Deneve's head slumped.
"But if Deneve had leadership, why did she pass it to Tabitha?" Miria asked.
"Yeah, I'm still wondering that too." Helen mused thoughtfully.
Deneve crossed her arms over her chest. "Do I really have to explain myself?"
"Well, it did come out from nowhere and hurts your characterization. The readers are probably wondering what the hell you were thinking."
"Hey, how could I know even more shit was going to hit the fan at the Org?" Deneve defended. "Besides, Tabitha needed some character development beyond being Miria's cheerleader," she ignored the shout of protest from Tabitha, "and forcing her to make a difficult decision seemed like a good way. It didn't matter if she made the right one, just that she made one."
"Sure, if you put it that way…" Yuma admitted.
"And I wouldn't have been blamed if we'd been too late." Deneve finished.
"Hey!" Miria and Tabitha shouted again.
"If you're not happy with it, just assign a second in command once and for all." the short-haired warrior scowled.
"We don't have that many candidates." Helen pondered. "Let's see the pros and cons. Deneve : current strongest, keeps her cool under pressure, rivals Miria in bust size," she paused and did a double take, "at least…"
"What the hell does this have to do with that?" Deneve shouted, crossing her arms under her breasts and unintentionally pushing them out. Yuma, Cynthia and Tabitha took a comparative glance and sighed dejectedly.
"Fanservice, especially with your penchant for clothing damage." Helen explained without missing a beat. "Cons : Mrs. know-it-all. Tabitha : cute, good sensor, loyal to Miria's ethic. Cons : little to no personality, unhealthy obsession with Miria, kinda weak."
Before Tabitha could protest, Helen went on. "Yuma…"
"Me?"
Helen grinned at the shy warrior and ruffled her hair. "Don't sell yourself short; see how you finished off that AB that was running away or you saved Galatea. I tell you people, if you think she's badass now, you haven't seen anything yet!"
Yuma squeaked.
"And look at you, so cute and huggable, but underneath… SCA-RY! And seeing how you took over as healer for Cynthia, soon you'll steal Miria's role right under her nose! Well, if you ever get over that low self-confidence that is."
By now Yuma was trying to fade into the background.
"Now, Cynthia…"
"I have made it clear earlier that I am not suited for this task Helen-san."
"Oh yeah, besides you've got survivor's guilt. Bad idea for a leader." Helen agreed.
"I notice you didn't include yourself." Deneve noted.
"Nah, not interested. This whole decision-making thingy isn't for me anyway. I'm good at kicking butt and that's enough for me." Helen said sagely. She then turned to Miria. "So? How do we settle this?"
"No trial by combat." Deneve warned. "We need someone capable and knowing the author, we'd end up mud-wrestling naked in minutes."
Everyone nodded.
*Come on, do you have that little faith in me?*
"YES!" they all chorused.
*Damn! Busted!*
"I know!" Helen shouted. "Let's call in for a vote. Every character gives their opinion and things remain fair."
*As you wish.*
There was a poof of smoke and an envelope appeared in Helen's hand. "Wow, that was fast." She grinned as she tore it open. "Now let's see… What the… Hey! They were not on the list!" she shouted.
"What is it Helen?" Yuma asked.
The brash warrior sighed. "Apparently the author forgot to precise only we Ghosts were candidate so every character was included. We had two who managed to get an overwhelming amount of votes. Color-head is runner-up."
"Clarice?" Deneve asked.
"Yep. It seems she was fairly impressive when she took charge in Rabona. About thirty of those guards voted for her."
"I'm almost afraid to ask." Miria sighed. "Who won?"
"Raki." Helen slumped dejectedly. "Over forty votes. How the hell did he find forty characters and got them to vote for him?"
Before anyone could ponder, they became aware of a rumbling sound that steadily got closer. Looking in its direction, they saw a quickly approaching dust cloud. At that moment, Helen was bumped into by the happy winner as he hurriedly ran past the group.
"Hey! Watch it!" she shouted.
"Sorry Helen! Can't let them catch me!" Raki shouted back without stopping.
"Funny, I would have thought it was Rubel running from Rachel again. I wonder what Raki is running from though." Cynthia wondered.
The dust cloud became clearer, revealing itself to be a mob of Claymore trainees.
Over forty shrieking Claymore trainees. Led by a certain pair of twins. With hearts in their eyes.
"RAKI-SAMA!"
"MARRY US!"
"What do you think I am? A pedophile?" Raki shouted.
"WE'LL WAIT!"
Helen couldn't move out of the way fast enough and was stampeded.
Miria stared at the retreating horde, completely dumbfounded. "Maybe we should help him before they lock him away till they're old enough."
"Heh heh… Kid… that's a really big sword… can't even hold it in my hand… Miria, I dare you…" Helen giggled groggily.
Miria blinked, blushed and forcefully reacquainted Helen with the ground before stomping away.