Chapter two- say it

I fall off my bed in thud. I had a nightmare that I was in the quarter quell once again and I couldn't carry Peeta but Finnick wasn't their to help. I gave up left Peeta. The worst part the bit that tore me was that I could even think of leaving Peeta. Defenceless against the poison gas coming for him.

I slowly stand up off the cold wooden floors and head to the bathroom. I cup my hands and gather cold water in my cupped hand and splash it over my face. The cool water gives me a second of shock. I grab a towel and dry off my face and stare at the reflection in the mirror. I see the small scar along the side of my cheek. I remember how the flames licked me, I remember the excruciating pain but no of the flames but watching my sister burn to bits right in front of me.I shake me head and try to clear the thought. I change and do my classic braid then head down stairs. On the counter there is a little cupcake with little pink flowers frosted around the top. With a small note neatly folded under the cake. It says

Walk? nine-ish?

-Peeta x

The kiss almost makes me drop the cake I'm holding, are we friends. Enemies. Lovers. Allies. Tributes. Couple. The things is I don't know if we will ever know and on this walk I'm determined to find out!

It's around half eight and the walk is at nine. I quickly scoff down some bread and butter and a cup of tea. After my quick breakfast I run up stairs to grab my fathers leather hunting jacket. I dash downstairs and slip on my boots. I open the door and I see him looks like he was just about to knock. He looks a little startled at first but then greets me with one oh his huge smiles. I give him a little one back. "Shall we, ladies first" he says in a sarcastic posh voice, I just give a quiet shy laugh. Our walk starts off by leading into town. The conversation is pretty boring and pointless until he asks "can we play a game?"

"What type of game?" I ask a little confused

" real or not real" I stop and don't know if I want to play this game but if it's what Peeta wants to do. " yes if you want to"

We continue our walk and then he starts asking. "Did we continue a plant book when you were ill?"

" real"

" I did the drawings and you did the writing?"

"Real"

"You stared at me when I was working on the drawings?"

"Real" I say quietly. I can tell a blush is crawling up my cheeks but he sees and laugh quietly. There's a question burning in my mind before I can stop myself I blurt it out "Why did you come back Peeta?" I say innocently. When he doesn't anwser immediately I add "I mean you could have gone anywhere why 12?" He stops and turns to look at me " I came back because ... Umm well I wanted to see how Haymitch was doing and not drunk in a ditch but most importantly I came back because of you katniss. I still love you katniss I know we have been through hell and back again but I still love you. And I always will." I can see the blush on his cheeks. My heart melts he's so kind, sweet and lovely. He's always loved me and I think I might have loved him for a short while at least. "Peeta, thank you. You don't deserve me. You deserve someone that makes you happy and can care for you" I say honestly, I can tell he's about to protest so I give him a light kiss on his cheeks a wave goodbye . I slowly walk up the path to victors village when I hear him shout "katniss, one last question"

"Yeah"

He takes a deep breath before saying "You love me real or not real?"

I know the answer in my head but I know i can say it I know I can"real" I said it! I quickly turn around and start running I keep running till I reach my house. I didn't look back once. I'm so angry with myself for saying that getting his hopes up, I am I no state to be in a relationship.

I kick off my boots and sling my jacket onto the back of the rocking chair. I see sae has been in because my house is cleaner and a bowl of rabbit stew is waiting for me. I sit at the table and manage half a bowl of stew. After my late lunch I decide to get the family plant book out. It takes me a good half an hour searching for it but I find it under my bed.

I slouch down on the sofa and start reading. I turn each page with care it is getting pretty old now. The first half off the book is by my father he was a very good artist like Peeta. The next quarter or so is by me and Peeta I remember this all so carefully. It seems like a lifetime ago we did this but I was a year ago. I had so much more a year ago. Friends,family, an unharmed body and Prim. I brush the though from my mind else I know it will make me cry. The book becomes all to much for me and I end up throwing it on the floor soon sobs break out like I had guessed and I lie paralysed on the sofa. It's noon by now I'm half asleep but I hear the door shut. "Katniss?" I recognise the voice it's Peeta's. He obviously can find me. I let out a mumble so maybe he can detected me. He finally finds me and looks at me and gives me a sad smile. I can tell my eyes are red and puffy and tears stained my cheeks. He gently lifts me and carries me upstairs to my bedroom. He tucks me into my bed and moves the hair from my eyes. He gives me and kiss on the forehead with relaxes me and let's me know I'm completely save and whispers "sweet dreams" dreams. Haven't had a dream in ages all I have had is nightmares! Then I know what's coming to night I'm so existed I can't face them alone. I grab Peeta's hand and say in quiet but clear voice "stay, please" I pat to the other side of my bed and say " I can't face them alone again" I can tell he understands. So he agrees and gently slides in next to me. He whispers into my ear "always" a smile plants on my face. He wraps his two solid arms around me and I know I'm safe.