Disclaimer : I don't own Claymore.
()()()()
It had taken over one hundred chapters, a deus ex machina through soul link, the weirdest therapy session ever, a whole new level of body horror, three chapters that placed Teresa in the pantheon of most broken manga characters with the likes of Jack Rakan, Sosuke Aizen, and Uchiha Madara, Teresa sprouting angel wings, and a debauchery of techniques that culminated into an Ultimate Quicksword that didn't just slash her enemy to pieces, but literally atomized her.
Yes, it was an awful lot, but at long last it was over.
Priscilla was finally dead.
()()()()
"DING DONG THE BITCH IS DEAD!"
It was emblazoned on their T-shirts. It was the motto written in giant letters in a huge banner hanging from the walls. It was the mantra of the party currently going on in the Claymore Afterlife. Dauf was singing karaoke. Ophelia, Alicia, Beth and Irene were dancing the cancan. Riful and her 'daughter' were drunkenly braiding each other's ribbons, and getting tangled together in the process. Isley was making out with three Abyss Feeders. And a large group, led by Tabitha, had broken into a Gangnam Style dance.
Dae was crying his eyes out that his 'greatest creation' was dead, which was ruining the party, so he'd been beaten up, hogtied and stuffed in the locker. So no one cared.
"She did it guys!"
"Pour me another!"
"I thought it'd never happen!"
"Finally!"
"She's dead!"
"Priscilla is dead!"
"PRISCILLA! IS! DEAD!" everyone chorused, falling in each other's arms. "HELL YEAH!"
"Everyone seems to be in a good mood." someone said.
"And how can't we?" Rigaldo cheered. "I mean, Priscilla killed a good number of us, not to mention she always curb-stomped us."
"Indeed," Riful agreed, "but this time she got what she deserved. Heck the fight would have been over sooner if she didn't have that freakish regeneration! Seriously, what was with that? She was sprouting extra limbs, wings, torsos randomly… Even for us that's gross."
"Yup, talk about fan disservice." Octavia admitted.
"It's not my fault you know."
"Ah who cares? Almost everyone hated her. We hated her. The readers hated her. Well, most of them, the Author doesn't."
"He's always been nuts!" Ophelia snorted.
"That's rich coming from you Ophelia!" Flora snickered.
"Raki didn't hate me. Even though I nearly killed him."
"Kid needs his head checked then!" the braided warrior laughed louder. "It doesn't matter because in the end…"
"THE BITCH IS DEAD!" everyone cheered and raised their glasses.
Only for the glasses to shatter as a tidal wave of extremely pissed off yoki filled the room, hitting them all like a sledgehammer onto a fragile pane of glass. Instantly sobered up, they all turned and saw the person they'd been bashing, clad in a T-shirt that said 'So broken they needed someone even more broken to finally kill me'. She had a neutral look on her face, except for a twitching eyebrow.
You know, the Afterlife is not the right place to celebrate someone's death.
"Now let's see." Priscilla said ponderingly. "I am here. You are here. Teresa is not here."
All the residents gulped fearfully.
"What did she say already? Oh yes…" The second-most badass character in the Claymore cast cracked her knuckles. "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!"
()()()()
While the residents of the Claymore Afterlife were discovering what 'deader than dead' means, the living characters were coming to terms with what had just happened. Oh, and the Author had finally decided to give Deneve another set of clothes, since Teresa had 'borrowed' hers last time – seriously, how could Clare's clothes fit her in canon? Yet another unanswered question.
"Ah! I totally called it that we'd be relegated to mere onlookers." Helen called.
"Didn't prevent you from wanting to jump in again Helen." Deneve reminded.
"The former was the Author making me genre savvy. The latter was Yagi making me hot-headed." Helen protested. "Differences in characterization are a headache. Oh, and a certain fox owes me twenty bucks!" she shouted.
"Huh?"
"I had a bet with one of the readers that Teresa would sprout angel wings just because she's that awesome. And I won!" Helen explained before grumbling. "Of course she would. All Awakened turn into monsters in the end, even Priscilla. Except Teresa who's so damn awesome Yagi couldn't ruin her amazing looks. And no, the missing skin strips on her legs don't count!"
"Let's just hope that she can revert without any problems. I mean, imagine if Teresa went mad?" Cynthia asked. "We barely managed to survive Priscilla, so what would happen if the one that defeated her turned on us?"
"Cynthia." Miria warned.
"Yes?"
"This is not funny!"
"Tch, as if that would happen." Helen snorted derisively. "Readers would riot if she became a villain. Teresa's just too damn awesome to lose her mind, the laws we lowly characters obey don't apply to her. Yagi's hammered it down already. I mean, did you see that fight? It was like, all our techniques combined, up to eleven! Phantom, dust eater, drill sword, Windcutter with extendable limbs, Quicksword…"
"She didn't throw her sword." Yuma pouted. She then became very glad Teresa hadn't when her pig-tailed friend added, "Please tell me she won't go Roxanne on us now."
"Cynthia." Miria hissed again.
"Yes?"
"This is not funny!"
"But the ending was a bit, I don't know, lame." Helen finished.
"What do you mean?" Raki asked.
"Well, look at the fight against Europa : it was constantly on the razor's edge, an imperfect controlled Awakening through an improvised mind link, culminating with Clarice's tear-wrenching sacrifice. Even then, it was a group effort, stalling, hit-and-run tactics and so on." Helen explained. "What did we have here? A completely one-sided slaughter that only lasted this long because of Priscilla's regeneration and Teresa dragging it out, then Teresa Awakens, curb-stomps Priscilla a bit more, and finishes it in one move. Three whole chapters of utterly gratuitous badassery from Teresa, with plenty of double panels to better display her awesomeness. Talk about fanservice."
"I don't know, she didn't suffer much clothing damage." Deneve countered.
"Fanservice is just that : what the fans want to see. It's not necessarily nudity." Helen explained.
"THEN WHY DO I ALWAYD END UP NAKED?" Deneve screamed.
"It's not always nudity, but it often is. That and the Author's an asshole." Helen amended.
Guilty as charged.
The rowdy warrior then frowned as she continued. "But in this case, the fans wanted to see Teresa kick Priscilla's ass, and they got it in spades. Still, Teresa made it look so easy it kind of cheapens all those fights where our lives were on the line, and why? 'Because it's Teresa, she's a league of her own'."
I sense the flames coming… Gotta buy some marshmallows.
"Also, the last part : for a while, all Priscilla could say was 'I'll kill you!' and brokenly call Teresa's name until she was supposedly reduced to a mindless mass of raw hatred with zero sense of self or reasoning ability. And suddenly, in what, four pages, she regains her sanity, acknowledges her desire to die, cries and thanks Teresa before dying with a smile! Seriously! You're telling me Teresa beat the hatred out of her, with her sword!"
"When you look at it this way…" Yuma admitted.
"What would you have preferred? A blond-haired, blue eyed teenager with whisker-marks on his cheeks, wearing an orange jumpsuit, looking at her in the eyes and saying 'I don't go back on my word, it's my nindo! Believe it!', and poof, she has a change of heart?" Deneve snorted.
"No, but let's face it, Raki was probably the closest thing she had to a friend, even if she never said it out loud. Heck he's probably the only one who's saddened by her death." Helen countered. "And he couldn't make it through to her. Yet somehow Teresa did, by repeated hacking her down no less!"
Raki gave a depressed sigh. So much for the power of friendship.
"Well, it could have been worse. They could have had Priscilla laying on a couch and Deneve psychoanalyzing her." Cynthia laughed.
That got a laugh from everyone, except for Deneve who scowled at yet another 'Dr. Deneve' joke. As if she'd be crazy enough to even try and psychoanalyze Priscilla anyway.
After the laughter had ended, there was one question from Yuma. "So, what now?"
"I honestly don't know." Miria said. "Priscilla's dead, so it looks like the big story is over. Besides there have been reports that chapter 155 will be the last one. So I guess it'll be a tearful goodbye between Clare and Teresa, and a short epilogue that'll leave our fates open."
"What, that's it?" Helen asked. "But there is still some stuff left. Like, what about that war on the mainland?"
Miria shrugged. "It was never the focus of the story, more like some background information. Though there are still some loose ends, especially Rubel's whereabouts. For all I know, the final panel of the manga could be an invading fleet from either side approaching the island. Or maybe Yagi has a sequel planned for, but it won't focus on us."
Everyone felt a pang of sadness that their adventures were almost over. They'd been around for over ten years after all. But everything has to end, and apparently they'd managed to avoid a downer ending.
"But… does it mean there won't be any more fanfics about us?" Cynthia asked. "We didn't have many, but it sounds like people will forget about us."
"Look on the bright side, the Author might finally leave us alone. At least I doubt he'll be able to pull another outtake." Yuma said.
"Finally, no more being the butt monkey or the fanservice girl." Deneve sighed with relief, to which Miria nodded in agreement.
"Finally, no more unwanted harem." Raki added.
"Wait a minute!" Rachel called. Oh yeah, some of the current warriors were still here. "Does it mean… I won't be able to get my Rubie-poo anymore?"
"Sorry Rachel, but that only worked in a humor setting. So unless inspiration strikes… that's it I guess." Miria said apologetically.
Rachel went white with horror. "NOOOOO! RUBIE-POO! WAIT FOR ME!" she called as she took off in a mad sprint.
"As for other plots…"
Well, I am unfortunately unable to make a long-term one. I have a couple ideas, sure, but they're all in the 'plot I wouldn't be able to finish' pen. Like the Pokegirls plot bunny. So unless I manage a breakthrough on those, or think of an occasional oneshot… I guess that's it.
"YESSSSS!" Miria and Deneve shouted.
"Oh please, you know you enjoyed the attention." Helen muttered.
I mean, you guys are not easy to write. Take Priscilla for example, she's the main antagonist, so unless we can get her to pull a heel-face turn, she has to die. If not, we must make Clare somehow foreswear her revenge, which is her driving force. Then there's the issue of killing Priscilla : it's been established she pretty much can't be killed, hell she shrugged off being beheaded and sliced to pieces. Multiple times. She can't self-terminate, so it's either bring in an overpowered character like Teresa or a Mary Sue to finish her, or drop a bridge on her and wave it off.
"Tough." Helen commented. "So basically, next chapter will probably focus on Clare and Teresa, again. We won't even get to celebrate our victory? And unless you think of something, fics will be sporadic, if any."
That's the gist of it. I can't speak for other writers though.
"Well, in that case…" Suddenly Helen whirled around and tossed Raki over her shoulder.
"What the hell? Helen! What are you doing?" the young man protested.
"Going to celebrate! And since there's no way we'll party or get laid in canon, I intend to milk this last occasion for all it's worth. So you're going to help us, or at least me, while we can still enjoy it! Especially since Teresa, and by extension Clare, seems determined to just stay there looking awesome." Helen declared before turning to her friends. "Well? Anyone else wants some of this?" she asked as she patted Raki on the butt.
"What? I thought I was done with the unwanted harem!"
"Didn't you hear? It's only over once the outtake is done. And it isn't quite done yet! Celebration mass orgy, here we come! Hey, Teresa! You can join us if you want, I mean, you may not get another chance!" Helen shouted.
"Clare! Teresa! Help!" Raki called as he was carried away, the rest of the warriors except Teresa following eagerly. "Author! Save me!" Yeah right, as if calling to the person who put him in this situation would help.
Meanwhile, in Teresa's mindscape, the mightiest warrior ever and Priscilla's slayer was engaged in her most difficult battle ever…
"Come on Clare! I just want to check if he's good enough for you, that's all!"
"HELL NO!"
"P-L-E-A-S-E!"
… Not relinquishing her body so she could scratch a certain itch she'd had for a long time.