Any mistakes are my own, not even going to attempt to give an excuse for the long wait. Enjoy...
Emily cried the entire way to the airport, the entire flight and for what felt like her entire first two weeks in Providence. The Fitch's bought a large house close to Brown, it reminded Emily of one of her least favourite houses back in England, huge and impersonal, it always felt like more of a prison than a home. The first few weeks in Providence she locked herself in her bedroom, only came out to eat and use the washroom, and didn't speak to her mother or father, or anyone for that matter. She just sat in silence, periodically checking her email, waiting for word from Naomi, but nothing ever came. Her mother had taken her cell phone the day they left California and her phone privileges at home had been revoked so even if she wanted to call Naomi she couldn't.
By the time she got her phone back it was a couple weeks into semester and her mother had promptly changed her phone number. Emily was still a complete mess, she hadn't heard from Naomi and she could no longer make excuses, like Naomi was busy or she just wanted to let her settle in, for why Naomi hadn't written. She thought about calling the day her mother returned her phone but something always stopped her before she hit send. Sometimes it was remembering the look in Naomi's eyes that night when Emily had thrown everything back in her face, like she was completely broken down and it was all Emily's fault. Other times she would remember talking to Cook that last day at the docks, him telling her that Naomi was a complete mess, that he'd never seen her so bad and that it was over. He told her that Naomi would write if she wanted to talk and she hadn't so maybe despite every bone in her body telling her otherwise her and Naomi were really over.
The days were easier; she was able to throw herself into her work, declaring herself prelaw, which made her mother a little too smug for her liking. But it felt like without Naomi the wind had been taken out of her sails, she had no inspiration or fight left in her to stand up to her parents wishes. Things always got the worst at night, curled up in her bed alone when she didn't have anything else to distract her mind; her thoughts always strayed off to Naomi. Her blonde hair surrounding her face like a curtain as they kissed on that last night together, feeling like she was surrounded by warmth and sunshine. And maybe that's what Naomi would always be to her, a memory of a sun kissed summer in paradise, the way first love was supposed to feel. She couldn't count the amount of late night conversations she had with Effy over the first few awful months, she would call her best friend up in the middle of the night crying and Effy would some how calm her down enough to get to sleep where she would inevitably dream of Naomi, just for the whole cycle to begin again the next day.
It wasn't until the spring that Emily finally started to feel herself get a little better, she had despite herself made some friends in her classes and everyday that passed getting up in the morning began to feel less and less of a task. She was making the top of her class and her broken relationship with her parents after a lot of work had slowly begun to mend. She still wasn't completely able to let Naomi go, she still checked her email once a week in case of the off chance that Naomi had written. But after six, then eight, ten and finally twelve months she never got anything from the blonde. She stopped checking after a year, it was to hard to keep holding on to a piece of her life that was clearly over, so she made a decision that day to make the first steps towards moving on.
She started volunteering at a hospital for soldiers returning from Iraq and found that helping others heal ultimately was a great way to heal herself. It was there that she met Freddie; he was a major who had returned from battle when a car bomb had gone off near his camp. The poor guy while not critically injured by the blast had taken the worst of the attack and had ended up buried beneath a mountain of stone rubble. Emily always looked forward to making her rounds and tending to him, it was entertaining how despite being clad in a full upper body cast the man still continually attempted to ask her out on a daily basis. Emily found it quite endearing actually, and though she was nowhere near ready to date someone again it was nice to know someone found her attractive.
This went on for months, Freddie flirting with her, asking her out and Emily always replying with the same answer through a half smile, "lets focus on getting you better and then we can talk about a date" until one day Emily came to his room to find his bed empty. She wouldn't admit it at the time but she was quite put out that he had discharged and disappeared without as much as a goodbye to her, she had come to enjoy her interactions with him.
It was a couple months later when she was walking out of a movie theatre with a few of her friends when she heard a familiar voice calling to her from a parked car down the street.
"So now, how about that date," Freddie said, a lopsided grin gracing his now completely bruise free face.
Emily turned around and was faced with one of the most attractive men she had seen in her life, she flushed when she thought about all the times she had taken care of him not knowing that this was what was hiding under all the bandages. Freddie was about a foot taller than her, he had a slim but muscular build with a shock of black hair that fell over his forehead. He had deep brown eyes and a somewhat unsure grin that made her feel even more drawn to him. Her friends were nudging her in the side to walk over and at least talk to the attractive man that was leaning against a Porsche and asking her for a date. Emily gave her friends a playful glare before striding purposefully towards Freddie and offering him a shy smile.
"I guess I could do that," Emily replied, "No conflict of interest now that you aren't my patient anymore."
"Works for me," Freddie grinned back at her, handing her a business card with his number on it," Call me to let me know when you're free okay?"
"Definitely," Emily agreed, turning from him and heading back to her friends though she could still feel his eyes on her as she walked away.
Emily felt giddy; she hadn't felt anything close to this since Naomi. It felt nice to gossip with her girlfriends as they made their way into the movie theatre, all of them trying to figure out who this mystery man was whom they had never heard of before. Emily shrugged and said Freddie was just some guy she had met at the hospital but couldn't help breaking out into a giddy smile when her friends looked at her with knowing looks.
It took her about a week to pluck up the courage to call him, she had picked up her phone and dialed the number dozens of times before deciding that she wasn't ready. She didn't mean to but she couldn't help but compare the situation to what she had with Naomi. Freddie had gone about courting her in a completely different manner, all shy looks and sweet gestures as opposed to the brash way that Naomi had made her interest known. It felt different to not be incessantly pursued as Naomi had; instead Freddie had simply given her his number and told her that she could call him whenever she was ready. Naomi had been completely the opposite, she had known what she wanted and she wasn't going to stop until she got it, in fact if Emily hadn't decided to give the girl a chance she probably wouldn't have came to know what a gentle, wonderful person Naomi really was because she constantly portrayed a brash attitude to the rest of the world.
But Emily did eventually call him, and he took her out to an expensive dinner and was ever the gentleman. He pulled out chairs, opened car doors, and walked her to the door at the end of the night giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek. Freddie was everything that society had labeled as the perfect boyfriend and despite herself it felt nice to be able to talk to her mother about their relationship and have her complete approval. She couldn't forget how after their first date her mother was waiting for her in the living room when she came in, exclaiming that she wanted to hear all the details of the date. It felt nice to be accepted by her mother, Emily hadn't realized how much not having her mothers approval had taken its toll on her over the years and now that it was there they had become closer than Emily had ever imagined they could be.
She had been seeing Freddie continuously for a couple months before they put a label on their relationship. Emily wasn't quick to jump back into another serious relationship and Freddie was respectful of what she wanted but it eventually took its toll on him.
"I can't keep doing this Emily, I want to be with you for real," Freddie exclaimed.
They had been having a nice walk through the park when Freddie had broached the subject of becoming exclusive again. Emily had tensed up at the mere mention of it and apparently she had finally reached the end of Freddie's infinite patience.
"Freds, I just need more time," Emily explained, actually she wasn't quite sure what was holding her back from opening up to Freddie completely. He was sweet, nice, gorgeous, and her parents loved him, it made no sense but there was something that was stopping her from committing fully to the relationship.
"Em, we've taken this completely at your pace, I've given you time and space and whatever you wanted," Freddie said gently, his hand reaching up to brush a stray hair out of Emily's eyes," What are you so scared of?"
Emily struggled with her thoughts for a minute, the truth was she knew what she was scared of, she just didn't want to say her name. She knew that if she committed here and now to Freddie that would mean letting Naomi go for good, and as much as Emily hated it she wasn't sure she was ready to do that.
"Its not as simple as that," Emily replied, tears welling up in her eyes," I want to be with you Freddie, its just complicated."
"Well lets uncomplicated things," Freddie said with a half smile," You want me; I want you, that's as simple as it gets Em. So what do you say, be my girlfriend, like for real?"
"Okay," Emily relented," Okay lets do this."
She barely had the words out of her mouth before Freddie was kissing her, arms wrapped tightly around her waist and lifting her off the ground. And for the first time in what felt like ages, everything felt right again.
Time seemed to fly by after that day. First they were celebrating their one-year anniversary, next they were moving in together, and before Emily knew it four years had gone by. Emily had graduated from Brown with honors and was applying to law schools all over the country; Freddie had taken his parents inheritance money and tripled it on the stock market so they were a lot better off than most couples their age. Her parents were thrilled; everything they ever wanted for their daughter was coming true.
She was happy; everything was coming together in her life. Once she had stopped comparing every detail of her relationship with Freddie to her relationship with Naomi and let herself relax, Emily found that her life had actually turned out quite well.
On Christmas Eve Freddie popped the question, it wasn't over the top or flashy like her parents had been suggesting, it was simple and genuine, and in one word "Freddie". He had waited until they left the annual Christmas Gala her parents put on and they were back at home and in their matching fleece pajamas (which Freddie had refused to wear until Emily pulled out her puppy dog face that he could never resist). Emily had just walked back into living room carrying a two cups of hot chocolate, when she turned around to hand Freddie's to him he was down on one knee, and Emily found herself saying yes before Freddie had even gotten the words fully out of his mouth.
It wasn't until a few months later that everything came crashing down. They had sent in their wedding announcement and Emily and her mother were now waiting for the paper to show up so they could see it in print in the wedding section.
"Its here," her mother shouted down the hall, causing Emily to jump out of her chair and run into the living room where her mother and sister were looking at her excitedly and holding up the paper.
"Well lets see it then," Emily said through a smile, it was nice having Katie here and having a moment like this with both her mother and Katie.
But something caught her eye before they could turn to the wedding section, Emily snatched the paper out of her mothers hands and looked at the photo on the front page eyes wide with recognition, it was a two story house with a wrap around porch, painted white with blue shutters. Under the photo was a caption stating that the story would be continued on page 3 so Emily flipped the pages, ignoring the look of confusion on both her mother and sisters faces. That's where she saw her, and older but just as beautiful Naomi, with her arms crossed over her chest and a slight smile gracing her features, standing in front of the house, their house. Emily lost it then, the paper dropped out of her hands and fell to the floor and she felt her vision start to go fuzzy. She felt it all come back, her entire summer with Naomi, how things ended without every really ending properly, everything all at once and before she knew it her vision went black and the last thing she heard was her sister shouting her name.
When she came back around Katie was kneeling next to her with a look of concern she had never seen on her twins face before. Emily tipped her head to the side and saw her mother staring at the newspaper with a similar look of recognition on her face, only laced with dread when she met her daughter's gaze.
"Ems what the fuck," Katie exclaimed," Are you okay? You were out for a couple minutes!"
Emily shook her head in an attempt to clear the haziness that was lingering and sat up slowly before hesitantly getting to her feet.
"Emily's fine aren't you sweetheart?" Her mother's voice penetrated her thoughts," She's just been over exerting herself with the wedding plans lately. Why don't you head home and spend some time with Freddie and relax, I'll take care of everything we had planned for today."
"Ya of course I'm fine, probably shouldn't have skipped breakfast," Emily met her mothers gaze briefly, seeing a warning projected back at her," I think I will head home, thanks mom. Katie I'll call you later okay?"
Katie looked back and forth between her mother and sister, not really understanding the hidden context of the conversation that was going on between them at the moment but thinking it was better to let it go for the time being.
"Okay Ems, get some food in your system," Katie stated," I know you're excited and nervous but you need to take care of yourself okay?"
"Of course Kay," Emily nodded," I'll talk to you later."
Emily walked slowly out of the house, it was like she could feel her mothers gaze burning into her back, and she didn't want to let her know that she was dying to get a hold of another copy of that paper so she could read the article. Seeing Naomi again so un-expectantly had shocked her, she thought she had completely moved on from the blonde, she was getting married for fucks sake and she was happy with Freddie. But one look at Naomi in that photo had Emily's knees weak and her heart racing in a way that, whether Emily wanted to admit it to herself or not, only Naomi had ever been able to bring about in her.
So she stopped at the nearest magazine stand and bought the paper, she then made a pit stop at the liquor store and bought a large bottle of wine before heading home. When she got there she sat on her couch with the paper sitting face up on the coffee table, it was a good twenty minutes and a half a bottle of wine later before Emily worked up the courage to turn to the article. As she read the words the more the ache inside her grew, and the more questions arose in her head.
Apparently Naomi had been working on the house for the last four years, little bits at a time. Doing most of the work herself but hiring contract crews from time to time to do the bigger jobs. It had become one of the most sought after houses in California, with a property value that made Emily's jaw drop but Naomi still refused to sell. That's what the bulk of the article was about, how after hundreds of viewings and despite astronomical offers the owner wouldn't budge. When asked why she wouldn't sell Naomi was quoted as saying simply "There are too many memories wrapped up in this place, and no sum of money is worth that"
Emily was full on crying by the time she finished, and a little drunk if she was honest. The article had left her with more questions than answers. Why would Naomi build the house that they had talked about starting their future in? Why would she not sell it no matter the offered price? If Naomi never once tried to get into contact with her after their break up why would she do all of this? And why did she have to find out about it now, when things were so good with Freddie and she had finally moved on from the blonde?
When Katie showed up a couple hours later to check on her she found Emily laying on the couch, bottle of vodka in hand staring at the paper, which she had propped up on a chair next to her.
"Okay Emily seriously what the fuck is going on?" Katie moved the paper and sat on the chair facing her sister.
"Hey give that back," Emily drunkenly attempted to swipe the paper out of Katie's hands but wasn't quick enough.
"So it has something to do with this picture then? Who's the girl?" Katie asked, pointing to Naomi.
Emily sighed, she knew Katie would never leave it alone until she told her what was going on, so she sat cross-legged on the couch next to her sister and began recounting the story of her and Naomi. When she was done Katie was looking at her with a look of complete disbelief on her face.
"Jesus Christ Em, Why didn't you ever say anything about this before?" Katie asked, her voice gentle now.
"I don't know, mum and dad made it pretty clear their opinion on mine and Naomi's relationship so I assumed you would feel the same. And then it was over so it didn't really matter," Emily explained," I don't know why I'm acting like this, I've moved on, it was just a shock seeing her again after all this time is all."
Katie looked at her a moment before responding again, she wanted what she said next to come out right.
"Emily, I love you but hun, if you're having this reaction to simply seeing a photo of this girl then I don't think you have fully moved on," Katie began," You never got closure with her, its completely understandable, but I also think you need to figure this out before you marry Freddie."
Emily closed her eyes and ran her hands through her hair, she knew Katie was right, this was not a normal reaction to have when seeing a picture of an ex.
"I just don't understand Katie," Emily sighed," She never tried to get in contact with me, not once, I waited a year for her. And now all of this with the house, I'm just so confused! There are so many things I want to ask her."
Katie placed her hand on top of her sisters and gave it a quick squeeze.
"Then maybe you need to go and get those answers," Katie suggested," You have a month till the wedding, maybe you just need to go get closure with Naomi and then you'll be able to fully move on with Freddie."
"Mum will never allow it," Emily said after considering it for a minute
"Maybe what mum doesn't know wont hurt her," Katie offered," We'll just tell her that you've gone on a trip for work, I'll keep her busy with wedding planning, you know how she is when she's planning a wedding, she'll never notice."
"You'd do that for me?" Emily smiled weakly
"I know how it feels to be pushed into a relationship you don't want to be in, I didn't have anyone to help me out at the time and now look at me, divorced at 23. I don't want that for you Emily," Katie clarified," So you go get your answers and closure okay Ems."
Emily nodded, feeling a fresh set of tears welling in her eyes at the newfound closeness she was experiencing with her sister after all their years of not seeing eye to eye. After she sobered up and pulled herself together she would go talk to Freddie and tell him that she was going to take a trip to the coast, he wouldn't question her she knew. He was so busy with work over the last little bit that they rarely spent time together anyways. And then she would go and see Naomi, and find out once and for all what had happened all those years ago.