AN - Just a warning, this one is not funny. Also this took so long because my laptop is refusing to operate the screen, then I fell into a hole called destiny.

"Can I have a few of those grenades Skipper?" Ash looks up in time to see Shepard hit the door controls for the Mako and toss the gas grenades out without slowing. "What the HELL is wrong with you Commander?"

With a huge wretch (and some over correcting that nearly sends them off the side of the sky bridge) Shepard get the Mako back on track to Zhu's Hope. "Is your enquiry about the driving or the way too convenient magic gas grenades Chief?"

"What driving, this is an extended crash."

"Aww did little Wrex feel threatened by the droppy whoppy?"

This line of enquiry is immediately answered by a meaty fist to the back of the driver's seat throwing Shepard forward and prompting another bout of swerving.

"Fuck! Calm your shit Wrex. I'm trying to drive here." Shepard can't settle back into the seat as it is well and truly stuffed. "We drop these things from orbit, falling a klick or so ain't gonna do shit, worst case we get Joker to drop us at the colony. And Ash, are you seriously that willing to trust a fucking scientist? One that already lied?"

"Uhh..."

Shepard slams on the brakes, "Damn right. Have my shitty Kessler and aim for limbs. Wrex try to maim rather than kill with your biotics, hopefully Chakwas can patch them back together."

Ashley only shoots one colonist, she and Wrex end up clearing all the creepers as Shepard moves like lightning through the settlement, laying waste to the colonists with a piece of rebar. She stands amongst the twitching colonists with a feral grin on her face, not even breathing heavily. At a scuff behind her she spins and hurls the bloody strip of metal at the noise. Fai Dan drops as the rebar cracks his skull.

"You alright there Shepard?" Ashley seems concerned at the carnage.

"Never better Chief," Shepard pushes the hair off her face leaving a bloody streak across her forehead, "Call Chakwas and the LT to clean these people up while Wrex and I find the entrance. Oh and tell them hardsuits cos spores or some shit."

"Wait does that mean we're exposed?"

"Well yea, but we shall slay the monster, demon, plant god? Whatever. Any way so long as we don't get our best and brightest compromised we the mission will be fine."

The Normandy is silent as the crew reels in the aftermath of Virmire. Shepard is sitting slumped at her private terminal having more than her usual trouble with words as she struggles with the mission report. She knows that the personal letter that comes next will be much harder. It is almost a relief when the cabin door hisses open and Ashley barrels through, throwing her off the chair and up into the wall.

"Why Kaidan? Why not me? I'm just a grunt and a Williams to boot. He was the superior Officer, a Biotic, had level three combat tech certification and was a fucking medic too. Next to him I'm fucking NOTHING." Ashley is yelling an inch away from her face while pining her to the wall, there is no possible way for her to miss Shepard's muttered reply.

"You're not nothing to me."

"So what, you killed him over some sick fantasy crush? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

At this Shepard tenses and pushes Ash back staring back into her accusing eyes, "What the fuck was I supposed to do? The bomb had to go off Chief, if he could change the timer the geth sure as shit could too. Someone had to babysit it. Let's look at my options shall we?

Do I send the tech expert or the 'grunt' with the STG distraction? The tech expert would be better with the bomb don't you agree?"

Ashley stare mutely back at her anger still seething through her.

"Still following my logic here Chief? Good. So far my valuable tech expert is with the bomb safe and sound on the Normandy and my 'disposable grunt' is with the distraction.

Next step, collect the STG captain from AA towers so I have some the Council will actually listen to corroborate the truth. Now halfway there Saren's reinforcements fuck my plan. Now I have to choose, do I a) get the bomb which if I succeed I may lose me the AA towers and the evidence against Saren or b) get the evidence and keep control of the guns, with the short timer Kaidan can hold a barrier until the bomb blows.

Lose your fucking martyr complex, Ash. I made the best tactical choices there were to make, I lost one of the best humanity had to offer, not because of any feelings I may have but because I least worst call I could in a shit situation."

"I..."

"Dismissed Chief."

Ashley leaves with her head hanging low the door slowly sliding shut after her, leaving Shepard alone in deafening silence.

AN - Sorry to leave it on a downer but I never thought they would make it in ME1, regs and personal honor codes and all.

Hope you enjoyed the story.

PS If anyone wants to crank ME3 or Destiny on xbox live hit me up with a PM.