Try
Summary: Jade West's heart was broken, and after all the work she'd put into fixing it she'd like nothing more than to never give anyone a chance to break it again. Tori Vega was looking to start over in a new town, to have a chance at a new life, and she'd like nothing more than to have Jade in it, but sometimes life doesn't make sense, and sometimes you just have to let it play out as it wishes.
Rating: M.
Warnings: Life happens and its not pretty, so prepare.
Chapter One – The Day That Changed Everything
The first day I saw her I should have known that she'd change my world. It was my first day into town in a month, and sadly that wasn't even close to an exaggeration. I left everyday to drive a town over for work, but I never went out in town, not anymore. But that day was different. I woke up from my two hours of sleep feeling restless, grungy and cooped up. So, after a long shower, during which I think I feel asleep for ten minutes again the wall with shampoo running down my face, I changed into a pair of jeans, a dark tank top and shrugged on my leather jacket, packed up my laptop and headed through the winding halls to the foyer.
"Do my eyes deceive me, are you leaving the house? At noon?" Ellen, one of the cleaning ladies, asked me as I stood at the door shoving my feet into my boots. I rolled my eyes at her, tying each of the boots up tight before opening the door, ignoring her jesting as I left. "Now don't hurry back, Jade! We'll be fine with out you!" she called, shutting the door behind me, no doubt locking it to keep me out.
I didn't mind, my feet had no intention of leading me back to the door. It was cold outside, the leather jacket wasn't much against the frigid air and neither were the pants, but at least the cold helped to wake me up as I walked through the town at a stroll, not really in a hurry to get wherever my feet wanted to carry me.
I enjoyed looking around, noting the Christmas lights already up, after all Thanksgiving had passed two days ago so it was time for the Christmas cheer to sweep through the town. All of the familiar scenes and lights were up and running-I couldn't imagine the size of the electric bill of some of these houses and businesses, and I tried not to think about it too seriously as I walked along, keeping my head down to keep from being noticed.
As it turned out my feet wanted to carry me to the local coffee shop, full to the brim with the lunch time crowd, the line was all the way to the door. My feet felt heavy as I stepped up to the back of the line behind my old middle school English teacher Miss Hunter, keeping my head down so everyone would just ignore my presence, that's all I wanted was to be able to be invisible and observe people.
The whole place was buzzing with the latest gossip, all of the voices a loud pounding hum against my ears, making me feel like I was in that scene in a movie where the main character stands in the middle of a crowded room and the camera focuses on them and everything else gets blurry and weird. I felt so out of place. Part of me wanted to run home, baby steps were good, after all, weren't they? But my traitorous feet stayed firm except to step closer to the counter where a girl I went to school with, Cat Valentine, was bustling around trying to fill orders while giving orders to a brunette rushing to fill drinks, seeming slightly confused. It must have been her first week, poor thing. I pulled my eyes away to stare at the ground, chewing on the inside of my lip, trying to disappear back into my head.
"Jade, don't slump, it's bad for your back." Miss Hunter's voice forced my spine to straighten, a glare settling on my face as I looked up from the spot on the floor and met her amused stare, "Even ghosts need to look presentable."
My brain took longer than I'd liked to process her words and form a reply, "So everyone thinks I'm dead now? I should get free coffee." I mused, already having lost her interest, stepping forward as the line got one person shorter and Miss Hunter stepped up to the counter.
"Cat, you look lovely today." she greeted in a cheerful tone. I let out a long exaggerated groan, letting my head fall back in a completely childish display. I don't know what possessed me but I could already feel more than a few people watching me, I'd inadvertently done the one thing I didn't want to, draw attention to myself. Shit. But now I was stuck and I could already feeling the facade slip back onto my face as I tried to ignore the feeling of the stares.
"Oh hush you." Miss Hunter said, turning around to smack my arm before promptly turning around to continue her conversation with Cat.
"We're both gonna die before your order." I scowled at the back of her head and tapped my foot, my arms crossed tightly, making as much of a display as I could, hoping people would quickly lose interest in the childish display.
"As long as you die grumpy and coffee-less I'll die happy," she jested as she finally ordered, "you really ought to lose that temper, spending all that time alone with yourself you think you'd like to see other people."
"What do you think made me hide in that house? You people are all nuts." I growled back quickly. She simply smiled and stepped aside while I stepped up to the counter to place my order, just as Cat turned around and walked away.
"Tor, get this next order." I heard Cat say, the poor brunette fumbled with the lid of the coffee she was finishing up, handed it to the woman waiting for it and turned to me with a smile stretched across her face. She looked like she never frowned. She didn't have a name tag.
"Sorry about the wait, what can I get you?" she asked, sweeping her bangs aside.
"It's not your fault." I replied automatically, "a large coffee, black, and a bagel with extra cream cheese." she nodded and after a few minutes of squinting and poking at the machine, which was a very out dated till, she finally grinned triumphantly. She definitely never frowned.
"I think that's right, 5.49." she informed me. Her smile was like pure sunlight, as if the sun had been poured into her with only her flesh to contain it and it was spilling out between those perfectly pink lips every time she smiled.
"Sounds right to me." I shrugged, passing over a ten trying not to look creepy while I was clearly staring at her, "just put the change in the tip jar."
"Thank you!" she smiled even wider more of that precious sunshine spilling out. I stepped aside to wait watching her openly. She was very pretty, with long brunette wavy hair and dark brown eyes, and pretty pink lips that I decided should never frown, lest the light inside her die. I pulled my eyes away to keep from seeming creepy, glancing around me for a table, noting only one table open, and then with dread also noting who the table beside it was occupied by. I felt panic rising in my chest, they shouldn't be here. They had other places to fill with their toxic presence.
"Excuse me, miss?" I blinked, dragging my eyes away from my ex fiance to the brunette behind the counter, "here's your coffee."
"Ah thanks." I took the hot cup, my feet moving for the empty table like they were filled with lead.
"Wait!" her voice was panicked and stopped me dead in my tracks, "I forgot your bagel." suddenly she was on the other side of the little space behind the counter grabbing the bagel from the toaster, juggling it as it burned her fingers, and quickly scooping up more than four cups of cream cheese, shoving it all into a bag and handing it over.
"Thank you." I smiled, the motion feeling painfully awkward on my lips as the words coated my tongue in a strange taste.
"You're welcome." she smiled back, a genuine smile, before moving back to help the next customer. I glanced over at the table once more, grimacing. They hadn't spotted me, or if they had they were really good at ignoring me, but as soon as I sat down I knew more than there eyes would be on me. I started moving toward it, each step feeling like I was wearing lead shoes, stopping when a hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me down.
"Andre." I blinked slowly, focusing on his face as I adjusted in the chair I'd been haphazardly dragged down into, "why'd you grab my arm?" I complained, setting my bagel bag on the table along with my coffee, twisting myself so I wasn't facing the other table.
"To save you from torturing yourself, if you sat over there you'd never leave your house again. Sitting here? You get to look at the cute new barista and maybe you wont lock yourself away again." I glanced over his shoulder at the woman in question, only to find her looking at me, I focused back on Andre immediately.
"One pretty girl isn't going to change anything."
Andre sat forward, leaning on the table to look me in the eye, "you don't know that, and she's not just pretty, she's gorgeous."
"And judging from the way you're pushing me toward her, not interested in you in the least." I smirked, knowing full well that Andre had tried at least three times to get her out on a date with him, to no avail.
"No, unfortunately the only part of me she's interested in is my amazing producing skills. She moved here from LA, she said she used to want to record an album, she still likes talking shop. But she so far has only mentioned ex girlfriends."
"She could still be bisexual, just cause she doesn't want you doesn't make her a lesbian." I pointed out, "I don't ever talk about my ex boyfriend."
"Because your ex boyfriend is also your ex-fiance, and when you found him cheating on you you ran away for four months, came back and slept with his wife for revenge." Andre pointed out with an arrogant smirk.
I shrugged my shoulder casually, pulling out my bagel and cream cheese, "once a cheater, always a cheater."
It was one of my firm beliefs, that if you slept with someone else while in a relationship you were never to be trusted again, a helpful lesson from my uncle Stefan who had spent too many nights for my liking with women who were not my aunt until she finally walked out, leaving me alone with his disgusting excuse for parenting-and it was woman after woman, marriage after marriage with him, and I have to live with that until I turned 18 and kicked him out on his sorry ass. It was one of the best days of my life.
"And what's that make you?" Andre rebutted, taking a sip out of his coffee.
I paused for a moment, thinking of the correct phrasing, "An asshole." I opened the cream cheese and spread it across my bagel quickly, taking out a bite, "A vengeful asshole." I concluded, shrugging my shoulder nonchalantly. She willingly crawled into bed with me, that was not my fault in anyway. She was sober.
"I'm glad I'm your friend." Andre chuckled, reaching over and snagging half of my bagel.
"Hey, dick, I just put cream cheese on that. Take this one." I tossed the clean one at him with the other cream cheese container, snatching my half back from him roughly, getting cream cheese all over my hand. I licked my hand and wiped it off on a napkin.
"Thanks." he picked up the cream cheese and a knife, spreading it over the bagel and taking a large messy bite, getting cream cheese all over his face, he looked like an idiot trying to lick the remnants off of the side of his mouth. Laughing and shaking my head at him I ripped a piece of my bagel off and popping it in my mouth, "so what made you decide to leave the house?"
"Christmas spirit." I deadpanned, looking around at the very well decorated interior, everything was red and green and tinsel and it just screamed Christmas, even the speakers were blasting Christmas music, currently All I Want For Christmas Is You. I fucking hated this song. I hated it so much that I was half tempted to get up and find the radio and change it, but it ended just as the thought passed and soon Santa Claus was coming to town and I was feeling less homicidal.
"Right, ghosts of Christmas past come and scare you to live your life?" he paused for a moment, "that'll never happen, you'd just befriend them."
I couldn't help but snort at the thought, "Me and the ghost of the future are BFF's, but he wanted to bang the past so I decided to give them their space, I don't really know where the present went, but he's kind of a dick anyway, maybe you've seen him around, you two would be good pals." I ripped another chunk off and popped it in my mouth, "I came out here to write."
"Thank fucking god, something normal." Andre exclaimed around a bite of the bagel, "hows the novel going?" but he didn't even bother looking interested, he knew my answer would be the same as it always was, because I was always in the same state with every novel-which is why I had yet to be published.
"Not finished." I adjusted the strap of my laptop bag, it suddenly felt like it was full of bricks, "I've sort of...its hard to write a novel about love when your heart is broken into a million pieces." I pick at the remains of my bagel, my stomach feeling hallow again. I glanced to my left, watching Beck and Tara getting ready to leave, his arm around her shoulders and her hand on her swollen belly. Fuck them both, they don't deserve that kind of happiness. I quickly looked back at Andre, the burning in my chest too much to bare.
"Well, put on those headphones, open the laptop and write until your fingers hurt. Come to dinner tonight." Andre demanded, finishing off my bagel, with a happy grin. He still had cream cheese on his cheeks, but I decided that telling him would take all of the fun out of everything.
"I've got to work, come to the club." I suggested, waggling my eyebrows teasingly.
"I'll pass, I already work there enough as it is." he grimaced.
"You're no fun, DJ Happy Pants," I teased, "the DJ they've had all week sucks ass, come back, I miss having good music to dance to while I serve drinks to drunk sorority girls."
"Please, like flirting with those girls and taking one home isn't your favorite thing to do." I didn't respond, choosing instead to glare at him in stony silence, disgusted at the idea of taking advantage of anyone as intoxicated as those girls get, "sorry. I know, you only take them to a cab."
"Damn right, bud." I lifted my coffee cup and took a large sip, wincing when I realized I forgot my sugar and cream, damn him for distracting me. Laughing Andre finished off his coffee, wiping his hands clean and stuffing the napkin into the cup while I put sugar and creamer in mine, "look you can't judge me for not coming out, I leave the house every day but Sunday, it's just you don't leave this little town anymore."
"I know." he sighed, standing up and pausing beside me, leaning down and kissing my forehead before grabbing his garbage and walking away. Breathing heavily I cleared off the table and moved to one of the now empty booths to spread my notebooks out and set up my laptop, sliding my headphones over my ears, blocking out the surrounding noise, most importantly the cheerful, ear bleed inducing Christmas music blasting over the speakers.
Slipping into the writing coma, as Andre liked to call it, was hard these days. I'd end up getting lost in my thoughts instead of what I was writing, until I was angry, upset and frustrated beyond all end, but today it seemed a bit easier, the only distraction was the brunette behind the counter that I couldn't help but watch from time to time as she moved about, learning the layout and the procedures, and all in all I wrote about six pages, as well as copying six from my notebook into the document on my computer, so it was a semi productive afternoon, but nowhere near the level I liked.
At five I almost didn't want to get up and head home to get ready for work, but I packed up my things and stepped back into the line, a little disappointed when Cat took my coffee order, and then shuffled back home with music blaring against my ears as I walked, blocking out the hustle and bustle of those around me until I reached my house. I pushed the front door open and kicked off my boots just inside the door, shutting it behind me quietly before tiptoeing upstairs, successfully avoiding Ellen and making it to my room undetected.
After tucking my laptop safely away I stripped out of my jeans, jacket and shirt and wandered around my room waiting for the curling iron to heat up and trying to figure out what to wear for work. Part of me wanted to dress for the weather outside by the other part knew that it'd be hotter than hell behind the bar and I'd need to be able to move freely. Sometimes I really hated not having a uniform. Twenty minutes later I was leaving in a more comfortable pair of jeans and a black cami with the bars logo stamped across the chest, my leather jacket zipped up tightly around me and a pair of comfortable booted heels on my feet.
"Miss West, take some water with you, I know all you've had today is water." Ellen called, stopping me in my path out to the car, tossing me a cold water bottle with a motherly smile on her face.
"Thanks, Ellen. Have a goodnight, and I'll see you on Monday." I told her pointedly.
"You know I don't mind working the weekend." Ellen offered.
"I do, you have a daughter, and a husband. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself for two days. I promise. Make sure everyone knows that I expect nobody to still be here when I get home, and nobody to show up until Monday." I ordered, though my voice lacked actual boss like conviction.
Ellen simply smiled, "of course Miss West. See you on Monday." I nodded, rolling my lips in between my teeth before stepping into the garage, picking up a set of car keys from the wall and walking to my dads old Mustang, sliding into the drivers seat and starting it up before opening the garage door, letting the car warm up. I always enjoyed just sitting in this car, feeling it rumble beneath me as the oil started to pump through it, it felt like it was almost alive, filling with energy and life.
Once the gauge was on the warmer side of things I put it in reverse and slowly eased off the gas, the car jumped to life, shooting backwards out of the garage and onto the road. I stopped to watch the garage door close firmly behind me and wave to those leaving for the weekend-Ellen always stayed late to make sure everything was in perfect order- before putting the car in drive and heading out of town.
It thankfully only took about twenty minutes to get to work, and already the line was starting to form-given that this was the only bar within twenty minutes of about four tiny towns we were constantly packed-and I had to try to block out the nasty comments from those waiting in line as I marched up to the door and slammed my fist on it after finding out the employee entrance was locked and nobody wanted to answer. After about ten minutes of slamming my fist on the door the nights bouncer, Terrance, finally came and opened the door for me.
"It's cold as fuck out there, why is the employee entrance locked?" I complained, rubbing the arms of my leather jacket to try and get warm as fast as possible, my legs shaking and teeth chattering painfully as I moved deeper into the bar.
"I didn't know it was, one of the sound idiots must've done it." Terrance shrugged, walking off in the other direction while I headed for the bar to set up for the night. Those sound guys were always locking the doors behind them, locking one of us or each other outside, and it was really getting on my nerves. It wasn't the first time they'd done it, but this time they were smart enough to not be the ones that opened the door, because I probably would have ripped their heads off.
I shook my head, watching them trying to set up for the night as I stepped up behind the bar, shrugging off my leather jacket and hanging it on one of the hooks underneath the bar. I wiped down the bar, cleaned the glasses, restocked the bar and then sat on the small stool waiting for seven o'clock and the doors to open so I could do something. The place always looked so different, it was amazing to think how many people a little place like this could fit in it, filled wall to wall and feeling like a football stadium instead of the tiny closet it looked to me right now. The floor was still littered with garbage from the night before, the tables were all shoved off to the edges of the room, there was a big party the night before that ended with a really amusing request for the Cha Cha Slide, which I was more than happy to sit and watch. Some of them could really get low, but only five of them could take it to the top.
Once the bar was cleaned up and ready I walked around fixing tables and stools, picking up garbage where I saw it and just killing time for the doors to open, which thankfully was only a half an hour after I got to work and it only took an hour for the place to be in full swing, packed wall to wall, atmosphere foggy and filled with the smell of spilled beer and sweat. I could feel myself relaxing, the tension and pent up anger and sadness melting away as I slipped into bartender mode, serving drinks and oozing charm. It was almost as if I was me again. Natural flirt and sass replacing the forced sarcasm and bitterness that veiled my wounded pride and shattered heart. I was really pathetic.
But it was nice to be here, to hear other peoples problems instead of my own. problems and make mine seem like some distant fantasy-and some of these stories made damn good things to put into some of my books, and the flirting did wonders for my bruised ego. Though that wasn't the point. The point was that it was far away from home so most of the town didn't bother coming all the way out here-at least not anyone over the age of 23. But of course, as Tori would later say, fate had another plan.
Two hours after we opened Cat and the brunette hopped onto two bar stools in front of me, Cat giving me a happy wave before spinning to survey the crowd of potential dance partners. I started to get her drink ready, "what can I get you?" I asked her, dropping two olives into Cat's drink and setting it behind her. She dropped a few bills on the bar without looking.
"Uh..." the brunette glanced at Cat unsure.
"How 'bout a coke to start?" she nodded and I got her her drink, she reached for money.
"For now you're a DD, you drink free." I told her, she smiled at me, it made her eyes sparkle. Her lips were soft and pink and shiny, "she usually finds someone to go home with though. So her car may just sit. If that happens let me know, I'll give you a ride." she smiled even more, and I couldn't help the smile that turned up on my lips in response.
"Thanks." she picked up her drink and took a sip, spinning and eying the crowd with Cat. I made my way back down to the other end of the bar and when I got back they were replaced with two blonde college girls who didn't get into the sorority they wanted to be in. They were only at the bar for three drinks before they went off to dance and I couldn't have been happier to see them walk away. Sometimes sorority girls were okay but other times I just wanted to shove them off their bar stools into pits of lava, tonight it was the latter.
Once they were gone the only other people at the bar were two professors from the nearby college who had nowhere else to go for a drink after work, who sat cramped at the end of the bar grading papers- at least I think that's what they were doing by the pained expressions on their faces and the increasing amount of empty shot glasses; I'm pretty sure they'd adopted some sort of grading drink game and I was more than happy to help them at it- but since they were otherwise occupied I was left to people watch.
Which lead to me staring rather openly at the brunette dancing with a couple of girls, and if I'm not mistaken singing along too, a few feet away from the bar. I wasn't even trying not to be obvious at that point, and I'm sure more than a few people noticed, but she didn't seem to and if she did she really didn't care. Her hips swayed with such a rhythmic and hypnotizing ease that I was practically melting as I watched her.
"Jade?" at the sound of my name I had to blink a few times in order to stir my body and turn away from her, turning toward the professors at the end of the bar, "two more shots and two bottles of Budlight?"
"Coming right up." I mumbled, my eyes going back to where she was, only to find she'd disappeared. With an unhappy sigh I poured them their shots and handed them their beers, looking for her in the crowd to no avail. Pouting I grabbed a rag and cleaned down the bar top, cleared their shot glass collection and started cleaning up glasses waiting for the next wave to show up-usually around 11:30 the place got its second wind.
And sure enough, two minutes after the professors loaded into their cab the bar was filled again and thoughts of the barista were pushed to the back of my mind. There were a lot of young kids tonight, most of them trying to hide the stamps on their hands, until my very unimpressed glare sliced through them and the shyly asked for a coke instead of whatever stupid drink they'd tried to order before. By the end of the night the high of serving drinks had long since faded and by the time last call finally arrived I was starting to feel the buzz of the coffee I'd been given by one of the sound guys. I called a few cabs, wiped down the bar, cleaned the last few glasses and put my jacket back on, pulling my hair out of it before snugging it up around me, patting the pockets to check for my keys.
Checking to make sure everything was cleaned up I headed out the door, pausing briefly to take in how fucking cold it was outside before stiffly walking toward my car, humming to the Nicki Minaj song playing through my head as I fished my keys out of my pocket, "Hey Jade?" a pretty voice broke though the song and I smiled, stopping in my tracks and turning to find the barista behind me, "Cat went home without someone so I'm kinda stuck."
"Well I don't have heat in my car, but I'll give you a ride."
"I'm sure I wont freeze to death." she laughed, nervously stepping up to walk beside me as we walked toward my car, "Oh my god." she gasped suddenly, "The mustang is yours?"
I laughed, my eyes sweeping across my dads beloved blue 67 Mustang, "yeah, it was my dads. He kept it in better condition than all of his newer cars combined." I walked around to the passenger door and unlocked it, holding the door open for her and closing it behind her. When I got into the drivers seat she was looking around the car in awe, her small body shaking from the icy chill inside. I twisted around in my seat and groped around for the blanket I knew was back there and handed it to her.
"Thanks." she smiled at me, the action making my heart flutter in my chest, something that made me incredibly nervous. I nodded stiffly and put the key in the ignition, pushing the gas pedal up and down quickly before turning the key, the car roared to like, rumbling around us, "So I know you're name, but I don't think Cat told you mine. I'm Tori." she held her hand out from underneath the blanket.
"Nice to meet you, Tori." I took her hand and shook it, ignoring the way my fingers tingled after the contact-after all it was freezing outside. I glanced at the gauge, it was warm enough to drive now, so I tapped the gas pedal to drop the idle and put the car in reverse, once again the car shot back out of the space, "so what made you move out to a tiny little town like Celeste?"
"I needed a change of pace from life out in LA." I replied, looking like she didn't really want to explain it further, so I didn't ask anything else.
"So, how come you don't work at the bar in town?" she asked out of the blue, like the silence was too much for her to handle.
"I need a break from town. Hardly anyone from town goes to the bar, which means nobody there knows who I am." I glanced at her, and she didn't look confused, which meant had told her all about the Beck fiasco, after all Cat had once been my closest friend, these days however Andre held that position alone. He was the only one that would come visit me without trying to drag me from the safety of my house, "so where do you live?"
"West Apartments up on-you probably already know where it is." she amended, laughing, "look I know we don't really know each other, but you seem really nice-and you're really pretty and would you like to go out sometime? I could use someone to show me around town, Cat is always busy with her kids except fro Friday nights and if you're not interested in a date maybe just hang out as friends?" she babbled.
I bit down on my lip to try and smother the laughter building in my chest but a smile broke out on my face soon followed by a fit of giggles, "I'd love to. Maybe tomorrow night we could go see a movie and I could show you the best place to get hot chocolate."
"I'd really like that."
I didn't know it yet, but those words had just changed my life forever.