CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
Elizabeth sipped her morning tea as she looked out to the cliffs. Ahh tea, cream teas from Cornwall were truly divine. Perhaps it was the fresh clotted cream? Either way, she felt herself quite in heaven, she loved tea.
And yesterdays singing really cheered her up. It seemed that singing had replaced reading as her favorite thing to do. Music was quickly becoming her life. She hid a little smile as she thought of it, but then blinked at the memory.
Flashback
Elizabeth sang as a wonderfully thrilling feeling enveloped her.
Only Erik's songs could make her feel like this, she wanted to spend the rest of her life singing his music, it was all she wanted from life now.
It was funny, a few years ago; if anyone had told her she would be an opera singer and would be quite good at it she would have laughed at the very idea. And now . . .
No matter what happened, Elizabeth regarded the day she met Erik as the best day of her entire life
She wished so badly that she was at one of her singing lessons rather than here in Cornwall. She wanted to be there and listen to his sharp remarks and sing with the hope in her heart that today he might sing for her. And most of all, she missed him.
Her eyes softened till it was half opened and half closed and hugged herself as she sang, tipping her head slightly to the side. Singing this song made her feel closer to him, if only a little.
"Let your soul take you
Where you long to be"
She longed to be with him, her soul was already there...and her heart. She imagined him standing beside her and somehow that imagination reached foreword and enveloped her in its arms.
"Only then can you belong to...me" and then she gasped at herself.
For one moment, she wondered what it would feel like if he belonged to her, and her heart had felt so warm. But then images of a beautiful woman with dark brown hair flashed across her mind and for some reason her heart had hurt so much, Elizabeth actually wanted to cry!
Even now her heart felt somewhat dull.
This was madness, the whole thing.
Imagine, Erik belonging to her? Preposterous, why on earth would she think such a thing?
She buttered some bread and took a large bite. Yes, utterly preposterous.
"Elizabeth, are you alright" Abigail asked from beside her.
Elizabeth nodded "I am fine thank you"
She was seated with her family at the breakfast table; the only one who wasn't present was her mother who had decided to take a morning walk first. Then she remembered the other thing Erik had wanted her to do. Though he wanted to be able to play the piano for the first time she would sing in public, he knew it would be unwise and so he told her to persuade one of her sisters to play it instead after he found out that Verity had been specially invited to play.
"Verity" Elizabeth began "Have you chosen the song for the ball?"
"No, unfortunately. why do you ask?"
"Well it just so happens that I was doing spot of reading and I came across a music store in a old shop somewhere, and when reading through it I find that it would sound...rather good actually. Perhaps you would like to consider it."
"Well alright, I suppose its better then nothing." Verity nodded as she looked up and spied Sofia entering the room.
Elizabeth noticed from the corner of her eye that she had someone with her but with all the people passing back and forth she couldn't make it out who it was.
But as they came closer she froze in a seat as the image of the newspaper cut out filled her mind.
Her heart stopped as she came closer and Elizabeth began to feel the strangest urge to hidden under the table.
"Good morning girls" Sofia said brightly, obviously ignorant of her eldest daughters severe discomfort. "Look who I ran into on my morning walk. This is Christine de Chaney. We got to talking and I said that she simply had to join me for breakfast and meet my girls. I'm afraid I might have been a little pushy."
"Oh no, I'm delighted that you asked" Christine said and Elizabeth noted that even her speaking voice was beautiful. Deep and throaty and yet light and soft, the kind of voice that entranced people, perhaps it ad been what entranced Erik. Goodness was that jealousy she could feeling in her stomach? Surely not?
"Elizabeth close you mouth, you look ridiculous" Sofia snapped and that moment, Christine turned to look at her and their eyes met. To Elizabeth's surprise, Christine's eyes widened when she saw her. What was that, did she know her, but they have never met before this?
"Christine dear, do sit." Sofia urged and Christine smiled politely as she sat down in front of Elizabeth of all places.
"These are my daughters "Verity my second youngest, Abigail, my third youngest and Elizabeth, my eldest. I have two more daughters, Hermione my second eldest who is married and Charlotte who is none but a babe and is being cared for by the maid."
Christine nodded to each of them as Verity poured her a cup of tea "Milk and sugar" she asked.
"Please" Christine answered "Two spoons."
Elizabeth sipped her tea as she tried to control her nerves.
Here before her was Christine Daae, now de Chaney. The woman Erik still loved and she couldn't think of anything intelligent to say other than 'why?'
As to the reason that was what she wanted to say or what the meaning of that 'why?' was, Elizabeth didn't know.
"Christine here is from music background. I read that your father was a famous violinist and that you were a singer for many years. Or is it to presumptuous of me to ask?"
"Oh no, I don't mind."
"You must have beautiful voice" Elizabeth found herself saying "And a great teacher, perhaps you will tell me his name." inwardly she rebuked herself. What was going on! What had possessed her to say that!
Christine looked at her strangely "Yes" she said "I had an excellent teacher. Do you sing Elizabeth?"
There was something in her eyes when she said that that Elizabeth found odd, but before she could answer, Sofia cut her off.
"Oh no! Elizabeth has absolutely no musical talent, no. however my daughters and I are. In fact my Verity is very well known for her excellent skills at the piano."
Elizabeth inwardly sighed. Her mother had no idea. Elizabeth could sing, she had been well taught. But the thing was, how did Christine know she could sing? Or did she know? Had her question just been one of coincidence?
Elizabeth nonetheless smiled and nodded at everything that was said. But all the while, she couldn't shake the feeling that Christine kept stealing glances at her.
A few days past and Elizabeth was seated in one of her favorite chairs in her hotel room reading a book while trying to keep her mind from wondering. This was the second to last day of her trip here and in the days leading up to this Verity spent most of her time outdoors, Abigail painted and her mother Sofia spend her days in the company of Christine de Chaney.
That didn't bother her...well maybe a little bit. Her mother always preferred the company of her sisters rather than her and that didn't bother Elizabeth too much because they were her sisters. But Christine was a perfect stranger and mother still liked her more. Well that was to be expected thought. Christine had musical talent and her mother loved anyone with talent. She was a little bit of a collector and would no doubt go back with gossip stories for her friends of spending time with a once famous opera singer.
Verity liked Christine too, and Abigail talked with her often about the backdrops they used to have at opera houses. The only one who didn't spend anytime with Christine was Elizabeth herself.
It wasn't anything personal, it was just that whenever she was in the vicinity, Christine would always glance at her and look at her strangely, as if she was some oddity or something she couldn't figure out and it unnerved Elizabeth. So she would leave the room. Thankfully none of her family noticed but Elizabeth couldn't help but feel as if she was running away.
And then there was Erik. Elizabeth so badly wanted to ask about him, how they met, who he was to her, who was he? She had so many questions that she didn't have the nerve to ask him. So Christine was her last chance. And there was also that pain in her chest when ever she thought of them. Elizabeth didn't know what it was but she was fed up with running from it. Always running. Why couldn't she ever face what scared her?
Well this time she would.
For Erik.
Standing, Elizabeth's book fell to the ground and for the first time, she didn't rush to pick it up. Instead she just swept out of the room in a flurry of skirts.
She knew the way to Christine's room; Elizabeth just had a habit of remembering things like that, where things were and such.
Standing outside the door thought, she suddenly felt a little stupid. What was she thinking? Was she to barge in and demand answers to her questions? Sounded like a good idea. But instead she lightly knocked the door.
There was a rustle from inside and then the sound of the key unlocking the door as it opened to reveal Christine in (Elizabeth had to admit) a rather lovely gown of blue silk. Inwardly she shook her head; she hadn't come here to stare at Christine's cloths.
Christine looked surprised to see her "Oh, you're the eldest Ashwin, Elizabeth if I'm not mistaken?"
She remembered her name? That was new, mostly Elizabeth faded into the background and people tended to forget her very existence, which included her name. not one was Christine beautiful, she was also kind. That only seemed to make Elizabeth feel worse inside.
"Yes. I...I was thinking that we may have gotten off on the wrong foot and perhaps we could start again?" that was completely the opposite if what she wanted to say, but Elizabeth proved to be too much of a coward in the end. Figures.
"Oh, really" Christine gasped with that pretty mouth of hers "Well then why don't you come in, we could order for some tea?"
So that's hoe Elizabeth found herself seated in the mini sitting room of Christine's room. She realized it was much more furnished and elegant than hers, but she supposed that was the kind of room one received when one was the wife of a viscount.
Soon a maid returned with some tea and shortbread it on a silver tray and placed it on the table. "Thank you" Elizabeth smiled at her and the maid, a little surprised, smiled back.
Christine picked up the teapot "Milk and sugar?" she asked.
"Oh, please" Elizabeth replied.
"You know" Christine said as she poured "I never used to drink tea, and yet I find myself drinking it a lot since coming to England"
To this Elizabeth laughed "I suppose you're right. We English do love our tea. Heavens I cant imagine life without it." She said, accepting the cup from Christine. As she drank she realized that it was perfect, was life truly this unfair? The woman was perfect!
"Yes" Christine nodded "I've even heard of a funny little saying somewhere that the English believe that anything can be solved with a pot of tea." She laughed, then stopped "Oh, I suppose that was rather rude of me?"
"No, not at all."
Then there was silence, only the sound of the sipping of tea and neither of them knew what to say.
Wonderful, Elizabeth thought grumpily. She finally mustered up all her courage to come here and now she felt as is she had gone completely blank.
"I"
"You"
The both spoke at the same time and went silent.
"No, you first" Elizabeth insisted with a smile as Christine bit her bottom lip.
"Alright. I suppose since we are alone, I should confess. I heard you singing once, a few days ago by the lake."
That shocked Elizabeth "You...hear me singing?" she had heard her singing Erik's song, so that's what all these funny looks were about, perhaps Erik had sung this song for her too. A nasty feeling of jealousy unfurled in Elizabeth's stomach at the very thought. She blinked, trying to usher it away.
"Yes, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you really have a beautiful voice, I was very impressed. Why doesn't your mother know?"
Elizabeth looked down "Why...I just...because it's a...secret" she eventually said "My secret."
"Only your secret?" Christine asked and Elizabeth for the first time met her gaze face on.
Shaking her head Christine smiled "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound as if I was interrogating you. But I do wonder, where did you learn that song?"
It was a blatant question, Elizabeth could see that. Suddenly she thought, to hell with niceties. She wanted to be blunt too. "I think you know" she said in a surprisingly daring way.
Christine sighed "I do know, my only question is how do you know?"
Elizabeth couldn't take it anymore "Mrs. de Chaney—"
"Christine, call me Christine" she interrupted.
"Christine, please tell me, how do you know of that song. Tell me and I'll tell you happily."
The silence was deafening. Then Christine stood and walked to the fireplace "I learned it from my angel of music" she said at last.
She wanted to be cryptic? Well Elizabeth could be cryptic too "And I learned it from my Master. But we both know that's not who he really is." Then she promptly gave up on being cryptic "Please Christine, I need to know. I know you knew him, or he knew you. Please tell me."
Christine turned "All right, but in return I want to know who he is to you also"
Elizabeth nodded "I...I am not often noticed amongst my family, they are all extraordinarily talented and I am...well I believed for a long time that I was nothing compared to them. But he changed that. I stumbled across an abandoned opera house one day and met him and although I'll admit it was a bumpy start at first..." bumpy meaning he tried to strangle her "...however we came to an understanding. He heard me singing and thought I had talent. And since then he's...been teaching me to sing..."
She trailed off at Christine's aghast look as she covered her mouth. Elizabeth noticed that she didn't chide her for being an idiot for walking into an abandoned opera house unaccompanied as instead Christine gasped "Oh no! Tell me Elizabeth, the man you speak of, what did he look like? I must know that this is not all a mistake on my part."
That surprised her, but she complied "He had dark hair and dark eyes." She described "and is always smartly dressed. He constantly wears a cloak and a..."
"Yes go on!" Christine urged.
"He wears a white half mask, one that covers one side of his face." She finished and Christine nodded "Then it's true, it is him."
"Please Christine; you're not making any sense."
"She sat in her chair and clasped her hands. "I was a little girl" she said "my father had died and I was brought by madam Giry, a ballet instructor and a friend of my father, to the opera Populair to live. You see when my father died he told me that he would send me an Angel of music to watch over me."
Now Elizabeth could believe many things, but she hardly believed that Erik was an angel. He had killed someone after all, something that she was slowly getting over.
Christine continued "at the opera house I trained to be a chorus girl in the ballet. But I mourned and every night I would light a candle for my father. One night, he came to me, my Angel of music. He said he could make my song take flight and he visited me often. Always singing songs in my head. I thought it was a dream, that he was a dream. Is suppose you could say I was in a dream. But what a wonderful dream it was." She smiled fondly at this. Then her expression turned sour.
"But in all dreams, one must wake up, as did I, many years later. He trained me to sing. I leaned so much and then it was revealed to me he was not my angel of music, he went under a name more gruesome. That of the Phantom of the opera!"
Elizabeth sat shocked. Erik was the Phantom of the opera? She couldn't believe it...and yet she could.
It was so strange how easily he accepted it, so strange that it frightened her. Had she come to trust him this much? But it made things so terrible clear. The way he acted, his very presence, it suited the persona played by the Phantom. She could imagine him terrorizing the opera house. In fact did he not say he worked at the Sunset theater as a adviser to the productions. He had said it as I it were a private joke, did that mean that he was continuing his work there. Oh she hoped not. She had read the Phantom had been a beastly person. And yet she couldn't match that reputation to Erik.
"Oh" she said in the end and Christine looked incredulous.
"Oh? Oh! Do you understand what I have told you, your master is the Phantom."
"I heard, but I cannot..."
"You cannot believe it?"
Actually, she was going to say that she could not see him as a bad person still.
"Elizabeth dear, understand me. You cannot trust him. I trusted him. I know what he can do to you" she said earnestly.
"No" Elizabeth said, shaking her head as she stood to go "No you don't..." she couldn't bare this any more. This was the one Erik loved, and she so obviously hated and feared him. For some reason it broke her heart.
"Yes I do" Christine snapped "He enchants you with words and music..."
At these words Elizabeth froze. Christine, seeing she had gotten the girls attention continued. "His music is enchanting. It's both terrifying and thrilling and at the same time it's so beautiful it would make angels cry."
Elizabeth smiled. Yes, that was a good way to describe his music "It's more amazing than that" she whispered "To me its like food to a starving man."
"He makes you feel needed, feel important?"
Now Elizabeth was beginning to feel uncomfortable.
"His music reached your soul and fills it with warmth. He is birth mysterious and frightening and yet he can be so gentle and tender, as if you were something wonderful. His music feels...alive"
Elizabeth gripped her elbows, Christine's words were hitting hard. If she knew him so well then did that mean Elizabeth wasn't anything special? That he had been like this with Christine also, was nothing about him only reserved for her? She once thought she knew him so well, now she wasn't so sure. Her chest was straining painfully. Was all of it, how he made her feel one of a kind, made her feel as if she wasn't second best, as if she had something to offer, was all of it nothing but a lie?
"But that's not who he is" Christine continued, noticing how Elizabeth cupped her cheek and hugged herself with the other hand, troubled. "He is obsessive and cruel. He cannot understand real love because he has never been given it. Life has no meaning to him, that's why he can kill so easily" when Christine saw Elizabeth flinch at the mention of killing she asked "Did you not know?"
"I know" she replied softly "I...I have seen him kill before"
"And still you refuse to believe me? He believes himself to be some sort of monster because of his face. Or do you not know of that either. Didn't you ever wonder why he wears a mask?"
"He told me never to ask, he was very...insistent on it" she said, trying not o think of one of the most terrifying experiences of her life, second only to her almost rape.
"He wears the mask because he is scared on one side, completely disfigured"
This caught her attention "He is disfigured?" Elizabeth had never seen a disfigured person before, she couldn't begin to imagine what he looked like.
"I will never forget it; the sight of his face still haunts me to this day. But in the end it wasn't his face that I couldn't stand. It was horrible, but it was his soul, it is distorted beyond repair."
This was painful to listen to Christine talking badly of Erik, each moment Elizabeth found a little of her control slipping away in the strange wash of emotions that were flooding her heart.
"He is so heartless in the ways he treats other people, I sometimes wonder if he has a soul at all."
At that moment Elizabeth saw a flash of Erik hunched over the organ, singing with such pain in his eyes over the love of a woman who would never return his feelings. His soul was there and it was in pain. Suddenly she couldn't stop herself as she spun round and cried "ENOUGH!"
Christine froze when she saw Elizabeth eyes.
"No..." Elizabeth said in a barley contained voice that trembled a little "I won't allow you to say anymore. You're right about most, Erik really doesn't have a strong love towards life and he probably has only been using me, tricking me with sweet words and beautiful music so I'll listen and trust him."
Christine blinked "Erik?"
"Yes, his name is Erik. Not Master or music anger or whatever ridiculous name you called him and certainly not Phantom of the opera. His name is Erik. And I know he can be cruel and had a horrible temper and perhaps his face is hideous, but...but..." she gasped
"You don't understand him either. Erik has a soul, a broken one. Why can't you see it? He's empty and in his own way he knows this, that's why music is so important tot him, it's the only way he knows how to fill the emptiness inside him. He may not have any attachment to life, but he values the lives of those who are important to him. He may be a killer..." she was rambling on now, but she didn't care
"But he killed that man to save me and he held me after and sang to me. When I was hurt he bandaged my wound and he listened when I prattled on about poetry once" she said, smiling at the memory "he's gentle when he lets his guard down and its most always up because it's the only way he knows how to live. He's been let down so often in life he doesn't know how to accept anyone anymore or how to trust. He does have a soul; in fact, he writes music that sound's alive because he puts his soul into his music. The lyrics he wrights are wrenched from his very being, they will always mean something. Its so much more than beautiful, its living music. Music in its purest form and I feel privileged I managed to touch it even if it was only the surface.
"When I was crying he sang so sweetly to me, he comforted me and laughed at me and told me to be less timid even though we both know how hard that is. He is so much more than what you say he is and I cannot...will not stand here and allow you to speak like that about him!"
The room was silent, except for the soft huffing sound left in the wake of Elizabeth's rant.
Christine only stared that the expression in her eyes, for she knew that look so well. It was the same look she had had in her own eyes those days in her youth with Raoul. "My god" she gasped "You...you're in love with him! You're in love with him!"
THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS.
NOW PLEASE, I WORKED VERY HARD ON THIS CHAPTER AND I WOULD LIKE SOME FEEDBACK AND REVEIWS
PLEASE REVEIW