You can only be strong for so long, you've come to learn. If you could get that saying tattooed straight across your ass to remind yourself every time you fell on to it, damn it, you would! But that wasn't the point of this. No, the point of this incident was so much different. You just needed to cry.
It didn't have to be long, nor did it have to be anything spectacular. You just need to go lay down in your room, curl up in a ball under the covers and cry. Yup, it was going to be that simple. You were finally going to allow yourself to cry, to be in solitude, to pity yourself for once.
You hated that word actually. Pity. How disgusting a word such as that could be. To you, it meant complete weakness, a pointless complaint about something that wouldn't even matter in a year or so. Pity was just a waste of time, but you needed it more than ever at this moment.
'Alright,' You take a deep breath as you enter your dorm of the Cave, 'Let's get this over with...'
You step into the dark room, not even bothering to flip on the lights as you kick off your boots in two fluid motions, shrugging your jacket off your shoulders as you approach your 'oh so loving' bed. You pulled back the unmade covers, slinking in as if the bed would some how attack you if you moved to quickly. Once your body is in a comfortable position and you head is laying just right on the pillow, you pull the blankets over your eyes like they do to the dead in those crime shows Robin seemed to love so much.
It's at this moment that you truly do feel like the dead. Your body is heavy and you have thought everything you could possibly think, so there was really nothing left to do now.
'Okay...go ahead...' You take a deep breath, trying to fight back tears that don't even exist. You try, you really do, but you just can't. The only thing you feel at this moment is a bitter numbness that just won't go away. You lay in bed, otherwise motionless, thinking long and hard about your decision. Maybe you should just pick yourself back up and head back down stairs before anyone question-
"Hey, has anyone seen Artemis?" You can hear Robin ask just outside your door. The clearness in his voice makes you believe that he might possibly be standing in the room. But, that is impossible, you know. In your blacked out thoughts, you're pretty sure you remembered to lock the door. Then again, with his hacking skills, anything was possible.
"Nope, haven't seen her all day." Judging by the sound of rapid foot steps before that answer, Wally must have just ran in.
"Miss M, have you seen Artemis?" The slight change in Robin's voice lets you know he had turned away from your door, most likely looking at the girl in question.
"I haven't, but I'm sensing...distress, I think." Megan replies with a worried tone. It makes you curl up even further. Couldn't you just be alone with your thoughts for once?"
"Why is everyone standing outside Artemis' room?"
"Yes, why is that?" You could picture Conner and Kaldur entering the scene now. It scared you knowing that your whole team was outside your door right now, more than completely capable of getting in whenever they wanted. Speaking of which, you suddenly hear a break in the conversation, replaced by a knock at your door.
"Artemis?" The youngest of the group hits the door frame a few times.
'Just don;t answer...they'll go away...' You think to yourself, but a second knock is heard.
"Yo, Artemis?" Your favorite red head tries now. Still, you do not answer. One by one, each member tries and fails to pry your from your hiding place. Finally by the fifth and final knock, you give up.
"Go away." You call out, trying to sound as annoyed as humanly possible.
"Artemis, we just want to talk." Megan says with a voice so concerned, it made you feel as though she had been told you were dead.
"I said, go away." You try to add a bit more venom to your words, but to no avail. Sadly, your doomed daydream comes true as you hear the faint click of the lock to the only thing separating from the last people you want to see right now.
"Artemis..." Kaldur approaches the bed first, you can tell by the way his voice seeps beyond your covers, settling in a way that is almost like a comforting hand on your shoulder.
"Go away...I just want to sleep."
"We all know that's a lie." Wally is quick to add. You wince slightly at the harshness in his words, almost completely out of character for the male, but you know it's only cause by nerves, allowing you to settle once more.
"Artemis, talk to us. What's wrong?" Robin seats himself on your bed, but is careful not to get to close just yet.
"Nothing." You say with a sort of coldness that makes everyone take a half step back. But knowing your team, they were determined for answers.
"Artemis, please, we're your friends." Megan finally pipes up. There we go. That's the phrase that sends you over the edge.
Finally after a much anticipated wait, those tears that just wouldn't come start falling and when they start, they refuse to stop. You curl up even more until a pair of broad arms forces you against a cool chest. You automatically recognize it as Kaldur and as awkward as the idea of the teen giving anyone a hug, you simply accept it, permitting yourself to sob on his shoulder. The next set of arms around you, you know belong to Megan. The warm sent of burnt sugar cookies settles around you like the coziest blanket in all of humanity. Before you know it, Wally and Robin are added to the mix, both finding a comfortable spot in the group hug.
Conner, you know, would never in a million years, partake in this kind of thing, but, in his defense, he does lay a hand on your shoulder, providing comfort in his own sort of way.
So there you were, sobbing your pathetic eyes out, allowing yourself to pity the things you never had,
You sister,
Your dad,
your mother,
It is also at this moment that you let tears fall out of relief, ones for your home at the Cave,
your mentors,
your new friends,
your new family.
You finally sigh as you feel all the tears you needed to shed fall, finally leaving you with a new sort of feeling. You transition from tears to sleep in a matter of minutes, the last thing you remember is feeling at peace.
You can only be strong for so long, you've come to learn. If you could get that saying tattooed straight across your ass to remind yourself every time you fell on to it, damn it, you would! But that wasn't the point of this. No, the point of this incident was so much different. You just needed your family.
That's all you would ever need.