Present Chapter 17: Finding Brittany, a glee fanfic

A/N: Edit – TG is currently 14, she turns 15 in the spring. I'm adding a chapter the end of this is just slightly different from the original post.

Disclaimer: I own Nothing.

{Bleh bleh bleh} = sign language

Chapter 16 Finding Brittany

Santana ran out of the house but Brittany was already out of sight leaving no clue as to which direction she went. She called out Brittany's name not caring if it disturbed the neighbors, but the only sound on the street was the echo of her desperate voice. She ran back into the house and put on a coat before quickly stuffing some extra clothes in her backpack. Brittany fled in her pajamas and Santana didn't want a repeat of that day. She cursed loudly as she flew out the door; she had spotted Brittany's shoes in the entryway. The blonde was out there with no protection against the cold. Staring hard at the ground she noticed faint foot prints on the busy sidewalk, she must have missed them in her haste to look forBrittany seconds earlier. Taking off in that direction, Santana gave a silent prayer that she would find her quickly.

Brittany ran, not paying attention to where she was going. The words "stupid, stupid, stupid" reverberated around in her head. Why the hell had she said something like that? She stumbled and fell unable to feel her feet. How long had she been running? Even more of a problem, where was she? She got up but she never felt so blind in her life. Unable to feel the ground under her feet, she kept losing her balance. Her hands grasped for something to help support her before she fell again. She felt something hard, wood, feeling around she could tell it was a bench. Brushing off the snow she sat on it wearily. Shivering, she decided maybe just a few seconds of sitting would help regain her strength, she had to find somewhere warm fast. It wasn't until she felt the sudden warmth of a hand that she realized she had started to drift off.

"Angel?" she inquired. There was no answer but an exasperated sigh that was probably directed at her. As she was awkwardly lifted up and carried over to some kind of vehicle that was running a few yards away, she knew it couldn't be Angel. The warmth was merely physical but somehow seemed familiar. Who was this person? The car, truck? Was warm and felt like heaven compared to the frozen land outside. She lay back in the seat and tried to figure out who this person was. It was a girl that much she could tell from the contact earlier; she searched her memory trying to put a name or even a face to her. Her thoughts were broken by a sound of discontent and the thud of something hitting the back seat hard. She shivered again; this did not go unnoticed by the other occupant of the truck. The truck drove forward, more quickly than one would probably deem safe on snow ridden streets but the driver had decided that the health of the passenger was more important than traffic signs.

xxxxx

TG had been driving home when a section of her bracelet lit up. There was someone nearby she knew, scanning carefully she could only see a poorly dressed blonde shivering on the bench. Although slightly confused as to who this person was, she stopped to offer help and as she got closer it became obvious that it was Brittany, Santana must have given her the bracelet. She weighed her options, glancing down at Brittany's feet she silently cursed. Shit, damn, motherfucker. Taking up Brittany had been more of a task than she anticipated, although the blonde was light carrying something that wasn't small or at least manageable was still not something anyone looked forward to. It had taken longer than she liked to get Brittany into the truck, but as soon as she was sure the girl was securely in and the heat was on; the cell phone came out. Holding down the number 2, she speed dialed Santana's home phone. No answer. She tried again, same result. Mentally using all the curse words she knew, she threw the phone angrily into the backseat. She'd deal with getting a hold of that damn girl later, Brittany was more important now. Starting the truck properly, she rushed them toward her house, when there she could at least treat, what could be assumed to be frostbite properly.

It took minutes to arrive at the house, but ten more to get Brittany properly inside without jarring her feet. Turning on the light TG examined the skin, it was definitely frostbite. The skin had turned a kind of grey but it didn't look too serious yet. Getting a large bowl, she filled it with lukewarm water and placed Brittany's feet in it. The blonde shivered, TG frowned and ran to get some unused blankets.

Brittany was confused, grateful but lost. She had searched her mind but couldn't place who this person was. It wasn't Sue, or Jean, the girl was too young for that, but this person lived around here. So it wasn't anyone from her town. Blankets had been placed on her, and her host didn't seem to mind if they got wet. The feeling was coming slowly back to her feet as her host apparently cleaned them. The person got up and she could hear the sound water being poured out and added into a pot somewhere behind her. The girl returned and rinsed her feet before moving her to the couch. She positioned her in such a way that forced the blonde to lay back with her lower legs on the armrest.

"Don't move," the girl said seriously. The voice was both familiar and unfamiliar, it sounded like Angel's friend but the inflections and stresses on the syllables were wrong. There was the sensation of her feet being dried carefully, and something was being put in between her toes. Footsteps left and came back. "It doesn't seem too bad, you'll be fine to walk in about a day but I wouldn't suggest you do anything else for a while. Take these before the pain sets in." Two pills were placed in her hand and she was elevated to a sitting position.

"Take," said the voice. After she did so without question having no reason to distrust the person, a warm cup was immediately placed in her hand, it smelled of chocolate. "Drink carefully," the voice cautioned. "I'm going to go call her." Before Brittany could protest, she could hear that the girl had already disappeared back outside. She sipped the mug, it was good. When she returned, Brittany caught part of the call. "over here. Now. You're getting a cell phone so I can get you twenty-four seven. This is not happening again. When you get this, hurry."

Brittany shrunk down into the couch, it wasn't Angel's fault. It had been her selfish desires that had caused this mess. Why had she done that? Feeling her wrist, she felt the cool band of metal against her fingers. At least she hadn't lost that, it was a bitter reminder of what she did but Brittany couldn't bear to part with it because it had been a present from Angel. She turned her face toward the back of the couch and wept.

"Don't cry," said the voice. "It's not your fault. She'll be here soon." It wasn't until the voice started singing that she recognized the voice. It was Angel's friend, she should have known.

You can go, you can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide, hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

Now wait, and try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run, oh. And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it's good to be someone

And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

'Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

The door leading to the outside burst open and slammed hard against the wall, breaking the rhythm of the music. Only one person had those footsteps and Brittany shifted to sitting position to hide her feet, but at the same time tried to be as small as possible, knowing that it wouldn't help hide her from the one person she was running from. Angel slowed her pace as she approached the couch and uttered the two words that Brittany did not expect to hear.

"I'm sorry."

xxxx

Santana returned home, she had lost Brittany's tracks about an hour ago when the footprint faded because snow was falling from the sky. Her home phone beeped as she entered. She didn't feel like dealing with her parents right now, in fact that was the last thing she wanted to add to her current state. Santana looked at her hands, examining them. She'd always been confident in her physical abilities but today her reflexes had failed looked at her with such panic and fear that it had paralyzed her just long enough. Her reaction was off, even as she reached out to stop the blonde from fleeing, she knew it was too slow. Her hand passed through air almost grazing the fingers of the other's hand. Her ability to vocalize seemed to have been forgotten. Now Brittany was out there, thinking who knows what. She should call for help, why didn't she think that before? Picking up the phone she dialed 911.

"911. How may I direct your call?"

"My name is Santana and-"

"Santana?" interrupted the voice. "Santana Lopez?"

"Who cares about my fucking name, my friends is out there in the snow and-"

"She fine." The woman's voice was so confident that Santana let out a breath of relief before realizing this was weird.

"How the do you know?" She asked calmly.

"Jake called and told me that if a Santana Lopez called to tell her that the girl is at her place. And to check your messages. Good day," said the operator cheerfully before hanging up.

Jake, Jake, Jake. Santana searched her memories. Did she even know a Jake? Check her messages, must mean the phone.

"Hey Fallen, it's TG. What the heck did you do? I found Brittany in the park, and I think she was crying just now, couldn't tell I was too busy treating her frostbite. Whatever it was you did, fix it! I live at 8735NE Oakland. Door's unlocked. Just get over here. Now. You're getting a cell phone so I can get you twenty-four seven. This is not happening again. When you get this, hurry." The message ended and Santana wasted no time to get to her bike. The amount of time it took was much shorter than one would think, considering the distance and road conditions. Not even bothering to properly park her bike, she hurried to the door. What could she say? What do you say in a situation like this?

Entering, she slowed down to take in the damage she had caused. Hearing about Brittany and seeing her were two very different things. As she approached the couch she could see the state of Brittany's feet. Although treated properly and carefully, the blisters that could not safely be popped were clearly visible. It looked like Brittany would have problems doing anything but walking for a good while; and it was her fault.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not you. I-I shouldn't have said that." Brittany desperately wanted to reach out and touch the other girl but refrained, worried that it would be inappropriate to do so. But a hand clasped hers as though reading her mind, and Brittany reflexively relaxed as warmth spread through her entire body.

"No, you just took me by surprise," Santana said. "I'm not right for you. You'll find someone that'll make you happy and love you more than I ever could, the way you deserve."Brittanysilenced theLatinawith a shake of her head.

"I deserve you." Brittany said firmly.

"Listen, Brit-"

"No, I love you. Nothing will ever change that."

"This, what I'm feeling is new to me. I don't want to hurt you with what could be some half-baked feelings. I'm not good with feelings. I've got to go think, if you need me just call."Brittanyknew nodded, knowing that the other girl was asking for some time. As much as she did need her, Brittany let her go. Nothing would be solved if she didn't give the other girl space.

Santana left to go find TG, it was easy; all she had to do was follow the music to what appeared to be the only lived in room.

{Did you fix it?}

"You live in a dump," remarked Santana commenting on the one story house with peeling yellow walls.

{It's livable and I blame my ancestors. Don't change the subject. Did you do it?}

"Do what?" Santana asked, unsure of what her friend was referring to.

TG scowled {Did you} she did the next slowly so it was very clear, {tell Brittany you love her?}

"I don't know," Santana admitted.

{You idiot! If you could see the way you look at her.}

"I just need to think for a while."

"Don't think, you already know," said TG, wanting nothing more than to knock Santana over the head until she realized what her heart already knew.

"That's just it, I don't know. If we find out later on that I don't feel the same. I know I'll hurt her."

{Fine, have your alone time or whatever. I'm going to go talk to someone intelligent.}

Santana looked around the room; each wall had shelves filled with CD's. They were all labeled: love songs, angry songs, good pop songs, bad pop songs, R&B, country, songs for the broken hearted, favorite songs were just some of the several dozen that were written on the shelves. Santana ran her finger along the cases, there was one that felt different, didn't have as much dust. She took it out to see what the name was, it was blank listing but was found under the favorites label. Shrugging she put it into a worn boom box and listened to the music as she drifted through her thoughts, absently playing with the heart necklace Brittany had given to her earlier. Her ears picked up a single line that struck her as true. She stopped the music and listened to it again, she couldn't help but think that it was an accurate assessment of her current situation. She memorized the lyrics after a third run, and grabbed the guitar she'd given to TG two years ago before heading back to Brittany.

TG looked up to see Santana approach, she got up to give the two privacy to work out thier problems but still gave Santana a look that said you idiot before retreating to her room to give the two some privacy. Santana looked atBrittanytaking her in, knowing that this could be the last day they will ever spent together. She began, hoping and dreading that Brittany would listen to the warning she was trying to say.

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends
Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been
Then you come crashin' in like the realest thing
Tryin' my best to understand, all that your love can bring

Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That I can't keep loving you
Oh, with half of my heart

I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else
Made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself
Lonely was the song I sang, 'til the day you came
Showing me another way and all that my love can bring

Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That I can't keep loving you
Oh, with half of my heart
With half of my heart

Your faith is strong
But I can only fall short for so long
Down the road, later on
You will hate that I never gave more to you
Than half of my heart
But I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you
With half of my . . .
Half of my heart
Oh, half of my heart

Half of my heart's got a real good imagination
Half of my heart's got you
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That half of my heart won't do

Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring
And half of my heart is the part of a man who's never truly loved anything

Half of my heart, oh, half of my heart
Half of my heart, oh, half of my heart
Half of my heart, oh, half of my heart
Half of my heart . .

Santana finished, not moving toward Brittany or away. This was Brittany's choice; but she was still surprised when Brittany just smiled gently and took her hand.

The blonde had already understood even before the Latina had left but respected her need to think. She was touched that her friend cared enough to not make a hasty decision, and despite the consequences that may appear in the future, she knew that no matter what will come that this is where she was supposed to be. By this person, if only for a little while.

Santana picked up Brittany and carried her to the room TG was pointing at, "I could hurt you, you know."

"I know," Brittany said softly. "Risk or you? Easy choice."

"Thank you," said Santana. "Sleep, I'll be back after I fill TG in on what happened." She closed the door.

The words "I love you" were left unspoken, but Brittany knew without a doubt as she closed her eyes and whispered the four words she had been unable to say before Angel had left, "I love you too."

Santana leaned against the door and sighed, she wasn't looking forward to the inevitable. She might as well get this over with.

{You. Explain, now} TG signed glaring at Santana.

"I know I know, don't get all weird about it okay?"

"You better have a damn good reason she was out there!" said TG switching to spoken word not wanting any miscommunication for this particular topic. Brittany had caused the protective streak to come to the surface, a trait that both Santana and the Asian shared.

"Shh. She's asleep."

"Well start explaining," said TG quieter but no less harsh.

"It was my fault," Santana confessed and began the story.

A/N: Yes it has only been five weeks, she started at the beginning of November. She worked at the hospital for two weeks before meeting Brittany (making it mid November, although technically she's known Santana for twenty-nine days), and that's why Britt's mom is worried (in a bit of a not so understanding/nice way) that it's moving too fast. Santana has another two weeks to work off after break. The song Half of My Heart is written, performed and recorded by John Mayer, and released in the summer of 2010 (note it was recorded in early 2009 so… yeah illegal means again?). If you haven't noticed… I do tend to write things the British/Canadian/English way (unless my Microsoft Word corrects them). Someday is performed by Rob Thomas on his album Cradlesong.