Chapter 2 - Toby
Sometimes I worry about Toby. I'm never quite sure where his mind is at the time. Even with his Noise, he's quiet and he never seems to mind about anything. Hes intelligent, and I love him, but I'm not sure that he's really...well...there, half the time.
Todd doesn't seem to notice anything fairly different about him, but I can see that he's much quieter than Harper and Gus. I notice every day. Now that Manchee's gone as well, he's got worse. He doesn't talk to his siblings any more, and he only says please and thank you before and after meals. The others aren't as bad as him because they didn't know Manchee for as long. They will never forget him, but it will be easier to push it to the back of their minds than it will be for Toby.
I saw him earlier. His tussled blonde curls were in his pillow and he was curled up into a tight ball. I sat on the end of his bed and started to stroke his feet gently. He looked up. Tears stained his face, and his green eyes were bloodshot from rubbing them too much.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, and then he spoke. "I miss him already, ma," He whispered. "Already." I nodded in agreement and stroked his hair. I whispered words to him. Words that didn't know, that I made up on the spot. But they soothed me, and I guess that they soothed him too, because he laid back down on the bed and curled up again. Soon enough, he was asleep, and I left. We had to wake him back up again for supper.
Todd tried to make interesting conversation with the family while we ate, but it died out after about ten minutes. The children were quiet - apart from the boy's Noise, obviously - and straight afterwards they had baths and went to bed.
I flopped down in mine and Todd's bed when they were all settled. He was already in there, reading the remains of his mother's book. "It's okay, you know," I said to him, taking a book of my own off the shelf. "To feel sad."
He looked at me, and said slowly, after a little while. "I do." He then sighed, put the book down and turned off the light. "I just don't know how to show it." I looked at him, his face only lit up by my dim lamp on my bedside table, and I felt sorry for him. Manchee had been his best friend and his only friend for years, and now he was gone and Todd was only left with his pups. I couldn't read anymore, so I put my book down and switched off my lamp, then laid down next to him and abruptly fell asleep.