Chapter 15
Kazana has lived factionless her entire life, having been found by the rebels who strive to live without the faction system she becomes their new secret weapon. The plan is clear, choose dauntless, pass initiation, infiltrate the system, but what can she do when a certain leader sees through her façade? AU No War, One year after Tris' initiation.
A/N: It's Summer! My work is done! Which means the updates are going to be increasing these next few weeks. This chapter has its darker moments but in hindsight is one of the sweetest in this story, what can I say? I have a black soul. That said I almost teared up at some of the reviews you left for the last update, you're all magnificent. If you have any theories about the end of this chapter then I would love to hear them.
Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, I own a dog-eared, hardback copy if that counts?
The festivities were already in place when Eric returned to the compound that evening. Indulgent celebrations that would lure even the purest of souls in to the dark, and how the Dauntless relished the dark.
It reminded him of the rituals that he had been all too willing to advocate in the past, appraisal of 'the brave dead' who so valiantly fought before they took their last breath. Often all it took was one step too far in to The Chasm, a sanctuary he currently sought to escape the insufferable drunkards who littered every hallway.
Something had changed in him in the past year, Eric was well aware of it. He simply credited it to the difficult tasks that had befallen him. It had been easy to play the part of the trainer, cruel and mocking but it had also been akin to a game.
One that he refused to lose, he thought amusedly back to the all-consuming rage Four's success brought him in previous months. These matters seemed almost trivial now, and the weight of his duties had never felt as heavy as when he boarded the train that night.
Eric welcomed the thunderous roar that surrounded him in the centre of The Chasm, sheets of blue reflected in shimmering waves off the menacing rock. Rhythmic shadows passed over his face as he came to a stop on the railing; in that single moment of peace he knew if anyone dared to contact him he'd throw the damn device in to the water.
It could have been minutes, perhaps hours, he could not really focus on anything but the plumes of smoke that now invaded his space. Tightening his grip on the railing he turned his head to fix the offending presence with a hostile glare.
Sloane had draped himself over the side, a lazy smile on his face as the cigarette in his mouth hung dangerously loose. Heavy inebriation rendered Eric's stare void, otherwise the older guard would have been sure to evacuate immediately. As it was, Sloane was preposterously drunk and he simply fixed the Dauntless Leader with a grin, mistaking the look for one of curiosity.
"Did I ever tell you how I got this scar?" Sloane ran a thumb along the puckered skin of his cheek, highlighted in the flickering light.
"I don't care."
"Hmm," he pulled away and rested two hands behind his head. Eric thought that the end of the matter and continued to stare in to the water until Sloane spoke again, a crazed look in his icy blue eyes.
"I've always known my place. We all have a role of sorts in this world you know? Some of us are smart, some brave, yadda yadda yadda, but then you get those guys that just don't fit."
Eric narrowed his eyes, not bothering to throw another look Sloane's way, but the older guard continued on anyway.
"You know what I meant don't you? The useless vermin that fill the city streets, begging and scrounging and fuck knows what else." His words were slurred and the stench of alcohol began to pollute the salty air. Eric was sorely tempted to throw him over the side.
"So anyway I'm 14 years old yeah? And Ma had finally agreed to let me out on the yearly cleansing. Man I'm telling you now it was exhilarating, you know? Like seriously you live all your life in a box and then you get to hold a gun in your hands and…"
Sloane closed his eyes and clasped his fingers together to create the semblance of a weapon.
"You're like the fucking master, the power it's just…" his eyes darkened as he caught track of the story once more.
"Then I see one of those rats, she's real small y'know? It's bad enough that they exist let alone the fact they're breeding." He shook his head in disgust.
"And I have her, she's right there, fuck I'm so close! Then you know what she does next?" He leaned in as though expecting the Dauntless leader to be hanging on his every word, but Eric could not deny that his curiosity had been piqued.
"Took a bite right outta me," Sloane gestured slowly down his cheek, his eyes burning in anger.
"Ma never took me on another round again, by the time I was able to lead The Purification myself she was nowhere to be seen. Oh I've tried, fuck knows I've tried but haven't seen or heard a thing, it's like she just fell off the radar."
Eric snorted, "Ever occur to you that she might be dead?"
"No." Sloane shook his head, hollowed face contorted angrily in a sneer. "No she's alive, I know it." He crushed the cigarette in his hand, oblivious to the scolding embers searing his flesh.
"And when I get my hands on that little whore I'm going to make her wish she'd died that day."
"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" Incensed chants ricocheted off the walls in The Pit where a large group of initiates and members alike had gathered to celebrate stage 1's finality. Kazana smiled timidly back at a dark skinned girl with cropped hair and an infectious grin, she leaned in to shout over the thumping bass.
"How're you liking the party? I'm Christina by the way!" Kaz reached out to accept the girl's open palm but Christina simply scrunched it in to a fist and punched her jokingly in the arm.
"Kazana," she replied "Yeah it's erm, awesome?" Luckily the older girl was much too engaged in the jovialities to notice Kaz's diffidence.
"Yeah I've heard about you, apparently you have a mean flying kick," she flashed her pearly whites and threw back a shot of amber liquid. Was there anyone in Dauntless who didn't know her name?
That was a problem.
"I work in military operations, not the most exciting job in the world but the equipment is pretty cool. I wanted to train you guys this year but asshat over there beat me to the punch." Christina sent a bitter look in the direction of Peter, who was balancing a bottle of whiskey on his nose.
Kazana thought back to the earpiece Eric had worn the previous day. Opening her mouth to reply, she was interrupted by a huge flare in the corner of her eye. A collective of Dauntless borns were roaring with laughter as they took it in turns squatting over and lighting a match in the vicinity of their behinds.
Christina rolled her eyes but grinned slightly as Tris approached them, it struck Kazana how striking the former Abnegation girl was with her sharp features highlighted in the neon lights.
"I swear if Will pulled any of those tricks around me I'd haul his ass in to The Chasm."
"That'll be the day!" Tris laughed, "I'd sooner see Tobias on the zip."
Kazana stayed quiet as she watched the interaction, Christina was soon pulled away giggling wildly by a boy with shaggy blonde hair.
"So I hear you were trying to find Eric's quarters yesterday."
"Uh yeah, I had to return something. The leaders sure get it good, I've never seen such a big fireplace," Kaz laughed nervously but Tris just looked on in astonishment.
"Wait he actually let you in his place?"
She stared back in confusion, wondering whether she had said something wrong. Why should that be such a surprise?
"…Yes?"
Tris contemplated her for a few moments more before raising her brows and nodding, "Huh."
There were no signs that the party would be stopping any time soon and Kazana knew that without an existing desire to be there or the numbing buzz of alcohol, it really wasn't in her best interest to stay.
Making her excuses to leave she made to climb the steps that would eventually lead to the comforts of bed. It seemed that no matter how much time passed, she would never cease to relish the feeling of a real mattress; years of solid stone were bound to do that to you.
A gasping sob omitted from beneath her, and Kazana crouched down to see Lemon curled up in a tight shivering ball, hands clasped over her mouth as she tried to muffle her cries.
Kazana realized this would have been a good time to know the girl's name but settled instead for a light cough as she slid down the wall, leaving them hidden to the world.
Neither said anything for a while but Kaz remembered well the flash of vivacious tangerine coloured hair darting on to the train earlier that day. It occurred to her she had failed to see these girls possessed real emotions, something other than misplaced lust.
"I knew she wasn't doing so well I just," her voice broke as she tried to regain composure, bright yellow strands lay damp against her cheek. "I just never thought she'd be gone like that. One minute they're there…and the next…" there was silence as she stared sorrowfully ahead, tears continued to fall thickly.
Kazana did not embrace the girl, she could not even find it in her to offer a comforting touch, but she stayed. They stayed there for some time, mere shadows amongst a turbulent crowd. Finally it seemed there were no more tears left to shed and she simply sighed shakily as her head fall back against the pounding walls.
"I was starting to get worried there, you didn't even point out the perfection of Four's biceps," Kaz joked. She was rewarded with a shaky laugh as the girl reached up to wipe away stray tears.
"Actually I was more distracted by his bum." Kaz chuckled but stopped as she saw the smile fall.
"It's an easy distraction, fooling around, swooning after guys, stops me thinking about real life for a little while."
Guilt flushed over her as she thought back to her immediate dismissal of the three girls, Kazana never thought she'd be the one to judge people so quickly.
"Real life's not so bad," Kaz offered, "You've made it this far."
"And the idea of that used to mean the world to me, jumping off buildings, wearing the sexy black outfits," she paused and smirked at Kaz lightly. "Messing with all the big strong guys…" Her smile was bitter however as she continued on.
"It's just not the same anymore, there's uneasiness about you know? My dad, he was chief commander of the weapons department but last year he got this real bad pain in his back. Couldn't lift a damn thing, next thing I know I'm standing at the tracks watching him head out to hell knows where."
Vesper and Turf had hinted at doubts only days before, but Kazana knew she was on the verge of something as she stared at the teary eyed girl. "You think people are going to start trying to change that? The uneasiness I mean?"
"I don't think they're going to change anything." Lemon regarded her reproachfully for a moment, but seemed to shake away any doubt as she observed the writhing figures surrounding them.
"I know they will."
There it is, Kazana drew in a sharp breath and leaned away. It was of course, just mere gossip. But didn't all fundamental shifts happen as a result of gossip, ideas? She came to a stand and made sure to correct her previous mistake before leaving.
"What's your name by the way?"
"Tanya."
A glimpse of warmth began to enter back in to her eyes as she too stood to join the throng of bodies.
"It's was nice to meet you Tanya."
Jeanine Matthews stood primly in the centre of a newly refurbished section in the Dauntless Compound. Her lips pursed in distaste as her eyes scanned the vast screens and white tiles which lined the floors, a distinct contrast to the usual colours sported in the underground Faction.
"You say this is the finished product?" she queried, her voice dripped with disdain.
Peter and Max stood quietly behind Eric as they watched her peruse the room, a perfectly manicured nail reached out to scratch the glass screens. Having devoted a majority of his days to meet Jeanine's expectations, he was unable to keep his fists from clenching as she traced a finger along the frame and hmm'd at the sweeping of dust she found there.
"Everything has been designed as you requested it," Eric bit out, "It'll be ready to utilize by the end of initiation. Once you give the go ahead."
The Erudite leader had always been somewhat of a paragon to him as he grew up amongst hungry minds and keen thinkers.
There was no doubt that Eric too possessed this craving, but it hadn't been enough to quell the need for a pursuit more physical. It was as he stood before her now, exhausted, worn and bearing the brunt of her extreme scrutiny, that he began to question his past ardour.
"On the contrary, this is not what I asked for. I entrusted you with duty of completing this task to the best of your ability, this room is not ready."
In an attempt to refrain from ripping off the glasses that perched delicately on her crooked nose and snapped them in half, Eric gritted his teeth and inclined his head, requesting for her to continue.
"I want every surface consolidated and soundproofed, these foundations are weak. The screens are impractical, they will shatter during construction, fix that. Increase security, I will not risk the success of this assignment because of a glitch in surveillance."
Jeanine approached confidently in her cobalt heels to look up at him, a flash of irritation in her eyes as she failed to catch even the slightest hint of emotion from his face. "I'll have my assistant contact you with the finer details. Until then…" she gave the room a slow once over. "Clean this place up."
A fist remained frozen in place before the taunting door as Kazana tried yet again to muster the confidence to knock. Unlike the remainder of her initiate group, she had awoken with a clear head and eagerness for the day ahead.
It was early, perhaps too early to be standing at the entrance to the Dauntless Leader's quarters but she had only a mere couple of hours before stage 2 began and the temptation to read had been all too strong.
Sure, an ironic voice called from the deep recesses of her psyche, that's all it is.
Her mind was willing, but her body had moaned in protest as she'd climbed the ascending levels to his domain, the fall from the train had done more damage than she'd initially thought. Kazana counted herself lucky that the physical stage was over as a stab of white hot pain shot down her lower back. Growing impatient with herself, she impulsively reached forward and rapped on the door three times.
The nerves which trembled through her as a result only intensified when the door flew open and Eric stood before her with a furious glare. Her mind told her to run, but Kazana should have known that her body rarely listened to logic when Eric was involved.
His scowl had her convinced he would slam the door in her face but he simply stood there with the same snarling expression.
"Did it occur to you to ask before you wander up here and disturb me?"
Kazana blanched, what the hell was his problem?
"Well you're not exactly easy to find, I'll just leave if it's that much of a problem." She turned sharply and made to storm away with movements that reflected her rapidly descending mood.
Eric was before her in an instant, her nose almost collided with the solid wall of his chest but she caught herself just in time. He still looked aggravated but there was conflict in his eyes as he stopped her from retreating any further.
"It's not…you can stay," and then almost as though he were searching for something to toughen the display, "just don't break anything."
Kazana restrained herself from glaring at him, "Wouldn't dream of it." She brushed past, and felt the surrounding area immediately numb her vexation. Not bothering to look back at the hostile man behind her, she padded over to the book shelf and perused it in greater detail.
The slam of the door behind her and fading footsteps made it clear he wanted no part in her recreational activities. It made her uncomfortable that she currently resided in his lair when he'd been so openly averse to the idea but the roughened texture of the spines beneath her fingertips was far too appealing for it to matter.
She softly coaxed a delicately bound book from its place on the shelf, too rough a touch would have the paper shredding beneath her fingers. Kazana sunk to the ground cross legged, and poured over the stories contents with familiar vigour; it had been years since she had indulged in such practices.
Unfortunately her concentration was repeatedly tested with the spasms of pain in her back, she shifted uncomfortably every few moments before settling in to a different position.
"What did you do to it?" the husky baritone of his voice shook Kaz from her reverie; she peered over her shoulder to find him leaning again on the vast mantle. Eric had shucked the jacket and overcoat, standing before her in a form fitting black vest that outlined every dip and hollow of firm muscle.
"I urm…" she struggled to collect her thoughts, curious eyes trailing up the detailed patterns on his arms and neck, if only she could get a closer look…
"Training got a little rough," she supplied, although it was clear by the way he raised one brow derisively that he doubted the story. Kazana could hardly tell him that she'd jarred her tailbone by falling from a fast moving train just mere hours earlier.
Her musings were cut short as she winced and hunched forward from another pulsing bolt of agony that seemed to vibrate straight through the bone.
"Lay your legs out straight," he ordered and Kazana shakily complied, too wrapped up in the pain to question him.
She felt him behind her immediately, the cool breeze which had teased her skin earlier disappeared as he sat with legs outstretched either side of her body. The shock of his warm fingers kneading hard in to aching muscle was infantile compared to the immense relief his persistent touch brought her.
His thumb pressed down hard in circular motions over a particularly stubborn knot in her lower back. Her pleasure was short-lived as his powerful hands worked practically to smooth out the tension which not just the fall, but years of training had instilled in her.
She let out a comical whimper as he began to use his knuckles; Eric chuckled at the uncharacteristic sound.
"Sadist," she hissed.
"Well that must make you a masochist then." He dug sharply in to another knot earning a feminine purr that sent all blood running south.
"I don't derive any pleasure fr- Ooooohhhhhh" Kazana moaned indulgently as he moved his heated palms to the perfect spot between her shoulder blades. The smoky aroma that she had grown to favour over any other scent had her shutting her eyes slowly, as Kaz released herself to the luxurious sensations.
"Eric," the name passed through her lips as a sensual sigh that made her glow hot with embarrassment.
His hands froze in place and Kazana felt the humiliation ten-fold as he leaned in so that her back was pressed flush against his chest, his voice tinged with amusement as he spoke hot and heavy in her ear.
"What was that?"
"I do-, I didn't m-"
"Say it again," he demanded. She opened her mouth to protest once more but lost her words as one hand moved up to tilt her head to face him. Darkened eyes met hers and she felt what little control she had slipping away from her.
Now that wouldn't do. He was enjoying this power play far too much. Kaz allowed her gaze to drift down slowly to his sensuous lips, biting her own in the process. It had the desired effect, Eric leaned in closer to her and she pulled her head away just in time.
Her obsidian eyes gleamed deviously at the look of annoyance on his face. That'll teach him to play hot and cold with me.
Eric remained undeterred however as he traced the smooth column of her neck with slow, torturous nips that would almost be her undoing.
"Say it," he hissed her against her skin, her skin tasted sweet as his tongue lightly brushed her jaw line. She leaned further in to him and allowed herself to savour the momentary feeling of safety that his solid form against her own provided.
"I-…," she moaned and tilted her head to aid his access, whilst simultaneously glancing at the watch on his wrist.
"I'm-," His ministrations were slow and deliberate, fingers gripped her waist with bruising force.
"I'm going to be late for stage 2," Kazana whispered against his jaw, then swiftly faced away as she shuffled out of his grasp. The abrupt switch on her part had come as a surprise to Eric but he was quick to prevent her escape as he pinned her down with his larger frame.
"Always trying to run away," he taunted, his lips a hairsbreadth away from her own.
"As I recall it is you who left me on the last occasion."
"I could just keep you here. I do have it within my authority."
"Then who is going to punish me when I fail to turn up?" The wanton words fell easily from her mouth, as though he had coaxed them out of her.
"I suppose I'm just going to have to take care of that as well," his fingers pressed in to the skin of her hips with bruising force. "It seems you do have a penchant for pain."
She reached up to brush her mouth against his before taking his lower lip between her teeth and biting down sharply. Eric hissed and his eyes were like darkened slate as they bore in to hers.
"I could say the same for you," she whispered against his lips. She could feel every taut muscle beneath her fingers as she ran a hand slowly down his arm, using that distraction to lift it away so she could come to a stand.
Kazana darted to the door with her mind in a desire driven haze, relieved that he could no longer cloud her thoughts with his skilful mouth and teasing words. She took a deep breath and turned the handle, unable to resist however, from taking one last glance behind.
Eric had come to a seated position, leaning back on his hands his posture emanated dominance and Kazana knew by the dark promise in his eyes as he watched her leave.
Next time, there would be no running away.
Vesper raised a sardonic brow as she watched Kazana creep in to the eerie hallway in which the initiates resided. Beside her, Turf lay across three seats rubbing his temples with a groan. She came to sit beside her violet haired friend and faintly returned the smile Tanya sent her from across the hall. Of course the exchange did not go unnoticed by curious green eyes.
"Where've you been stranger?"
"Thought I'd do a little bit of light reading before the fun begins."
"Sounds lame," Vesper smirked and arched back to stretch on her chair, she reminded Kazana strongly of a feline, sly and blasé.
A hum of awareness still resounded through her body at the memory of firm deft hands.
"I guess it does."
Light burst through at the end of the corridor as Lisa exited a small room followed by Four, her face was visibly pale and her hands were trembling when she perched on the end seat.
"That bad, huh?" Turf queried as he continued to massage the sides of his head, Kazana thought back amusedly to the night before where he had stumbled over to her with the offer of some obscure coloured liquid. He'd insisted that he perform for her his 'saucy victory dance' before toppling over flat on his face.
Lisa didn't say a word, just stared straight ahead at the opposite wall with a blank expression. It only occurred to Kazana after the remainder of initiates had undergone their own simulation that her reaction had been surprisingly calm.
Soon she found herself surrounded by a collective of shuddering, panting bodies. No one expression was the same as they rocked back and forth in their seats, but they all had a haunted look in their eyes. Even Solomon sat stock still without the slightest hint of a sneer, it wasn't exactly encouraging.
"Kaz, you're up," Four announced, she came immediately to a stand. The Dauntless Born with the neon red Mohican took her place; his usual cheeky grin was nowhere to be seen.
Following Four in to the room, she slid herself amiably in to the reclining seat and even deigned to fix her instructor with a ready smile.
"I don't suppose I need to tell you what you'll be doing?" he muttered, clearly aware of the extensive details she had been given in advance.
"Does it hurt?" Kaz worried her lip as she saw him approach with a dangerous looking needle, a single drop of fluid seeped from the tip.
"You've already-" he stopped, "right, I forget you never did take the aptitude test did you?"
She relaxed back in to the chair and tried to steady her racing heart.
What if she could not control herself under the serum? Or worse, what if her fears revealed her for what she truly was?
Kazana shuddered and winced as she felt the cool metal enter her skin, waiting for the moment that her consciousness fled and darkness prevailed.
But nothing happened. A few moments passed as she kept her eyes squeezed shut, wondering when the sensation would come, but eventually curiosity won out.
Four was staring at her open-mouthed, his dark brows furrowed in confusion. The expression was actually quite amusing on him.
She slid backwards on her chair with wide horrified eyes, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she lifted an accusing finger to point at him. Concern immediately troubled his features as he rushed towards her.
"What? What is it! Kazana, are you alright?"
"NO! NO! NOT YOU! ANYTHING BUT YOU!" she inched away from him and raised a dramatic hand to her forehead, "IT'S HIDEOUS!"
Four groaned in frustration as Kaz gave up the pretence and started laughing, eyes shining with mirth.
"That wasn't funny," he scolded, though his lips held the hint of a smile.
"Oh come on, it was just too tempting."
She huffed out a heavy content sigh and straightened slightly in her seat, all humour left the conversation as both realized something was very wrong. Four studied the needle in his hand, constantly glancing up at her face as though waiting for some inkling of reaction.
Moments passed in silence before a vivid image flashed through Kazana's mind, a sharp invasion of colour and familiarity that sliced through her thoughts. She recoiled, falling back in the chair with a compulsive twitch as her eyes glazed over and violent jerks seized her body.
For a moment, Four had been ready to snap at her but her entire form was shaking with spasmodic convulsions.
He clambered forward to grab her, trying desperately to snap her out of it but he cringed back as he saw orange foam bubble from her mouth, her body jerked in dry heaves. The frothy liquid spluttered out of her mouth with sickening choking sounds trying desperately to regurgitate the serum.
Trapped. A swarm of dark green and startling white surrounded her, locking her in place. The tormented wails of a woman reverberated off the walls and disjointed words fell through her mind like shrill cries. The language was not her own tongue and yet, she knew. She knew what they were saying. "NYET!" a broken voice shrieked, "NYET! NYET!" Nobody was listening, why wasn't anybody listening? Machines. So many machines. Her struggles intensified but it wasn't working they were too strong and she was so small, measly hands and cherub cheeks. Glass walls began to close around her, and the fear, it was paralyzing. Numbers, she could hear numbers like cold metallic echoes dragging her to an unknown destination. "Chetyre," the robotic voice called. "Tri," Something clicked in to place, her body seized up in its cylindrical prison. "Dva," her screams were muted behind a thick blockade. "Odin," the tone rung out in finality and every limb became still. Sombre eyes amongst a grief-stricken face were all she saw before all went black.
Kazana lurched out her seat with a pained gasp, desperate to feel crisp air in her lungs. It felt like she'd been underwater, on the brink of suffocation and now the bliss of sweet oxygen filled her body in a sudden embrace.
Something vast and sticky coated her mouth and neck, an ugly shade of orangey brown clung to the white pallor of her skin. Four's eyes darted across her face in alarm; he released his grip on her wrists.
"What did you see?" he asked, "What was your fear?"
Kaz's pants refused to subside as she sunk down in to the chair and thought back to the images that had become a distant blur. But her nostrils still burnt with a heavy medicinal scent.
"It wasn't a simulation," and that cold, calculating voice still echoed in her mind.
"It was a memory."